Aries: moody as fuck

Taurus: too stubborn to agree on anything with their partner plus they're already in a relationship with food

Gemini: not committed enough and never has the time

Cancer: too busy crying and watching TV

Leo: too needy

Virgo: still waiting for their manic pixie dream boy/girl to save the day

Libra: no reason. You're perfect

Scorpio: trust issues and jealously

Sagittarius: you're always drunk and hyper and don't even know what you want

Capricorn: too dry and serious about everything

Aquarius: too insensitive

Pisces: would rather daydream about a relationship than actually have one