Aries: Who cares about world peace anyways?

Taurus: I'm gonna diet *goes to McDonalds and orders Big Mac with extra fries and a diet coke*

Gemini: Can you imagine how much more wonderful the world would be if there were two of me?

Cancer: I'm not going to study *stays up to 4am studying*

Leo: I love me. Real or not real? REAL!

Virgo: *in summer* Why so warm? *In winter* Why so cold?

Libra: I'm so fluffy, you should die

Scorpio: I don't know what to do with my life *becomes a world leader and ends world poverty*

Sagittarius: Shut up, you're a dork anyway

Capricorn: I'm one brainy bitch

Aquarius: I will chop off your manhood and shove it down your throat

Pisces: Someone help me! I'm gonna die. DONT JUST STAND THERE, I'M DYING! DUH!