I will never love someone like the way I loved her ever again.

"She loved you very much, I'm so sorry". That's the 28th time I've heard that sentence today. "She wanted to do good in this world, it's a shame that she's now gone". That's the 5th time I've heard it. So many people are seeking out with their comforting words but the only comforting words I want to hear is from her. My darling. She went out for a drive this early morning. The car came back wrecked,her friend was unconscious and she was pronounced dead.

I've never felt so many emotions before, i felt anger,fear,loneliness, everything at once and now I no longer feel anything. It's like my body went on a Ferris wheel then went off, it's almost calm. Calm because my mind still thinks that she's alive and that she's waiting for me by the sea shore like she always is.

I've been staring at the beautiful sunset for god knows how long. She used to tell me that whenever she hears about someone's death, there's always a pretty sunset, indicating that their beautiful soul is free. I didn't believe her of course, I took it as one of her heartwarming quotes from her books that she beautifully had stacks of. I now believe her with regret.

I look behind me, thinking that I heard footsteps. I see no one. The only thing that caught my attention was the white worn out bench, I stood up and brushed the sand off of my legs and walked slowly to the bench. The bench is still the same so why do I feel a deep pit in my stomach?

I hesitantly take a seat and blow out a breath that I didn't even know I was holding. I close my eyes, thinking about all our recent conversations, thinking about the way her one dimple shows when she's holding in a smile, thinking about how her hair blows across her face and how she used to get frustrated from it, and I'm also thinking about how she's always wanted to make the world a better place. I open my eyes, and lean my head to the side thinking that there's a shoulder to lean on, however, something catches my eyes, a white piece of paper in between the wood.

my heart skips countless beats at once. 'It can't be?it can not?when did she' a thousand questions cross my mind, but the only thing that comes out of my mouth was "she did it" a smile plastered on my face, I grab the paper and open it slowly. It says,

'The sea is beautiful, so take it in and appreciate your accomplishments in life, if you don't have any, then make it a goal to, I'll be your first supporter! -darling'

It's definitely her. Her handwriting and even the nickname. Darling. I read the note a hundred times over and I linger on the last sentence, she has always been my number one supporter in everything.

i wipe my damp face with my sleeve and think about her, when suddenly a thought hits me.

What if she put out others?

I get up in one move , holding the note tightly in my hand, I'm going to make it a goal to try and find others.