"How did I even get here?" I muttered to my self while laying on my bed. "How did everything end up such a mess?" I asked myself. I could only lay there with an arm over my eyes. I left in such a rush I didn't even know where I would go. Everything was so... It all just came out of left field.

I don't even know what to think, let alone feel!

I sighed, what should I do? I lifted my arm a bit and looked to my right, out the window. Even with the curtains almost drawn I could see it was dark out. I looked to my ceiling and sighed. What can I do? A walk? I was trying to hide not get spotted.

But a walk would be nice around this time... I sighed and sat up, I really would like a walk. I got off my bed and headed for the front door, slide on my shoes and grabbed my Axe-Base. Out the door in no time and went heading for the forest. I was even taking the same path as before. The one that lead me to 'Devil's Drop'. Where I first found the Decepticons and mostly, Megatron.

I just stopped for a moment and looked up.

It was a bit chilly but nothing I can't handle. Even with the clouds the sky looked beautiful this time of night. I wonder what Megatron is doing? 

No, Ashe, don't think about that now! 

You hurt him remember!!!

I continued walking, I rubbed my eyes that threatened to spill tears. I was angry at my self for not listening! 

Why couldn't I have listened and just said...

"UGH!"

I reached the spot and stopped to sit on the cliff's edge. I didn't know what else to do but get lost in the night sky. I was angry at my self for not knowing, for being uncertain when I knew deep down I was. 

But most of all.

I was angry for being afraid.

I didn't know how long I sat there on the cliff and just strummed cords gently. I didn't know what I could do, go back? I doubt he would listen to me after what I said. How could I be so stupid?!

*Screech*

I looked up and around, something screeched. It was a ear piecing noise, not tires or anything like that but like an animal almost. I put my axe-base on my shoulder and looked over the cliff. Something big was down there. If I listened closely I could hear giant foot steps. An Auto-bot? 

I doubt it. I also doubt a Decepticon, I know everyone. No one would screech like that.

Oh, what to do, what to do? I was curious, but curiosity killed the cat... but then again, cats have 9 lives so why not waste one? I decided to go and see what was down there. Ok, Ashe, if anything happens... call Soundwave? Or just call them? or... should I call them?

Of course not. You hurt Megatron, they wouldn't help you after that!

Would they?

I shook my head as I pulled out my wings and jumped off the cliff. I flew down and landed, once I landed I decided to just keep my wings out. Its been awhile since I had them out. I looked around but didn't see anything, but then I heard the loud stomps.

They were coming from the cave entrance. I remember this cave. I shook my head and started walking, I went through the tunnels that had the loud stomps. Once I heard the stomps stop I soon caught up to the creature.

 And creature was right.

It looked like a giant metal bug guy? It was looking around and digging at the walls. If it was cybertronian It must be low on energon. 

I took out my data pad and opened one of it's features. I held it up like I as gonna take a picture and looked around as well. Soon at one cave wall was a blue dot on screen. There was a piece of energon just a little ways past the rock wall.

I looked at the creature, I wonder if it knew I wasn't going to be a threat? Well, might as well try right?

"Hey!" I said as it turned to look at me. "There's energon in this wall." I said pointing to the rock wall I'm closes to. We had a bit of a staring contest before the creature moved. I stepped aside, the creature was bulky, possibly solid armor. The face more or less was scratched up, this creature has seen battles.

The creature dug a bit before it pulled out a good chunk of energon.

It looked at me and it's mandibles move a bit, it even purred? I think it's a 'thank you' but not quite sure. "I'm Ashe." I said and waved. It tilted it's helm with it's unoccupied servo picked me up. "Whoa, um. And you are" I asked.

"HardShell." it said and started walking deeper in the mines. "Ok, so were are we going?" I asked sitting in its servo. "Hive." HardShell replied. "Ok. What exactly are you?" I then asked. "An Insecticon. We affiliate ourselves to the Decepticon cause." He said, I nodded. "So You serve Megatron?" I asked, as HardShell nodded. "Are you with Decepticons?" He asked me. It was my turn to nod.

I think I'm still with them anyways.

Soon enough we were at the Hive. A whole lot of Insecticons in Stasis pods, only a few were out and about. "KickBack and SharpShot." HardShell said pointing to two of them. The two didn't talk they made noise. "This Decepticon, Ashe." HardShell said as I waved. They nodded and HardShell gave the energon to KickBack.

"Why is everyone still... Sleeping?" I then asked, the Hive was huge... then it hit me. "Oh, wait. You guys don't have enough energon do you?" I asked. HardShell let me slide off his hand onto a near by rock. "Correct. We need lots of energon for our hive." HardShell said, "And There is no greater ferocity than an Insecticon hive... How is Lord Megatron?"

Oh geez, that's a loaded question. Truth? How much should I say?

"I would say fine, but truthfully... Its why I'm out here in the first place... I hurt Megatron when I didn't mean to. I came out here to think." I said sitting cross-legged. HardShell took a seat as well as KickBack and SharpShot, "What did you do?" KickBack asked.

'See. He sort of... confessed. He put his whole spark out there...'

'Why did you turn Master down? Did you not find him favorable?'

'No.. The opposite really. I'm afraid...'

'Afraid? Do want a weakling as a mate?'

'No. or... I'm not afraid of his strength. I'm not afraid of him. You see. I'm not afraid of loving him, I'm afraid of not being good enough. I'm human more or less. Frail in a way... I'm just too weak.'

'Then the Master would protect you. Others would protect you.'

'Not that kind of weak. See, I don't think the relationship would work out. There are others probably better suited.'

'Yet he wanted you. Doesn't that mean you are good enough in Masters eyes?'

'I...'

'Ashe. What do you want? You love Master and Master loves you. Why are you not satisfied?'

What do I want? Why am I so afraid? 

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. 

"You are my equal." 

"You are strong. More than you'll ever know. I will always be there and here for you...we made a promise didn't we?" 

Promise to be there for each other...to not leave the other. Was it truly made out of friendship? Or something more that neither of us knew of yet?

"Never think of yourself lower than anything like that again. No matter what she says to you...You are mine-friend." 

Mine-Friend. My friend? or was Megatron wanting to say 'Mine'?

How long did he love me from afar?

No...

How Long Did I Love Him From Afar?

What Do I Want?

I've always felt alone. Everyone goes away after awhile.

But Them...

They Stayed.

They Want Me.

He... 

Megatron.

Fought For Me.

What I Want...

https://youtu.be/trIjpVH8h88

What I Want Is To Be Wanted. 

I Was Afraid Megatron Wouldn't Want Me. 

But He Does.

What I Want Is For Him To Stay.

I Was Afraid Megatron Wouldn't Stay with Me. 

But He Did.

What I Want Is To Be Loved.

I Was Afraid Megatron Wouldn't Love Me. 

Yet, Megatron Truly Does.

His eyes were always expressive if you knew how to read them. They were filled with love and want. I ignored it because I always thought they would go away after he realized I wasn't worth it. 

Yet...

'We are part of Hive, We are never alone.'

'Yet, even if we were, we take strays into Hive.'

'We are of one, even if it doesn't seem like so.'

'If Master deems you worth the effort, then You are worth it.'

'I would like that...'

'Know this. You are honorary Queen-King of Hive, Deceptcion Ashe. And We have an Idea you might enjoy...'

'Why do I have a bad feeling about this?' I asked, chuckling.

If anything the Insecticons let out a laugh.

Just what kind of idea do they have in mind I wonder?