sorry but I decided to keep this as a short story so it won't be as long as usual

~~

I groaned as I looked around and saw I was in a hospital room. What happened? I remember finding out my reason for being here and then a car came out me.

"Holy shit," I muttered as I cried. "I did it, I'm back."

"Back where?" Mikey asked. "You got hit by a fucking car, dumbass."

I looked over and saw his blond hair, my stomach dropping. I was wrong, I wasn't back.

"Don't listen to him," my mom said. "Come on, we get to take you home today."

The doctor came in and checked on me before allowing me to go, stating that I only had a sprained wrist. Which now meant that both of my wrists were in braces. I cried on the way home, staring out the window at the dark night. We got home and I saw bags packed in foyer.

"What is this?" I asked.

"Frank was kicked out, he's moving in with us for the rest of senior year," Mikey said. "Apparently you were yelling about how you were his boyfriend or something and his dad heard and kicked him out. Took him out of the will and everything."

"Where is he?" I asked.

"Probably upstairs in my room," Mikey said.

I ran up the stairs and threw open the door to see him sitting on an air mattress with his back to me.

"Frankie, baby, I'm so sorry," I said.

"You ruined my life," Frank whispered.

"I'm sorry," I repeated. "Let me make it up to you, I can take you out to dinner or something."

Frank stood up and turned around, making me suck in a breath. One of his eyes was swollen shut and the other simply turned purple. His lip was swollen and there were cuts and bruises all over his face.

"My life was perfect before you started talking to me," he said. "Now just go back to whatever dimension you're from or whatever you say and just never talk to me again."

My lip quivered as I looked at him.

"I-I'm sorry," I whispered.

I backed up and went to my bedroom, crying as I laid down on the bed. I fucked it up and didn't even get the lesson correct. I thought I learned my lesson and the universe was going to bring me back to my own reality but it didn't and I was left here with two sprained wrists. I grabbed a bottle of liquor from under my bed, drinking away my pain.

How could I have been so stupid and careless? Just because I came into this world from being hit by a car, doesn't mean I'm going to be taken out the same way. And there was nothing in the universe telling me that I had finally cracked the case and was able to be sent home. I just assumed that when I shouldn't have and just fucked up my life all over again.

When did I become such a fuck up? Have I always been like this? Clearly if my old life got messed up and this life got fucked up then there's a common factor. That factor is me. I'm the one constantly fucking shit up. I just need to learn to be fucking normal for once, to do normal shit. Maybe if I were more normal then everything wouldn't have turned to such shit so fucking fast.

Maybe I misunderstood things, maybe Ray did the research wrong. Maybe I wasn't supposed to learn some life lesson and make amends with Frank. Maybe I wasn't supposed to change and give myself a makeover. Maybe I was just supposed to wear my pastel sweaters and be the good person and date Lindsey. Maybe then everything would turn out like it was supposed to and I would gradually get Frank over time. Maybe I rushed everything and that's what ruined it.

Who knows, maybe Lindsey would still be alive and I would date Frank more gradually. I might have been ruining it from day one by preemptively giving myself a makeover. I shouldn't have changed the way everything was in this world, I should have kept it as close as it was and let everything fall into place.

"Is that how it was supposed to work?" I asked. "Were you just fucking with me this entire time, universe? You were setting me up to completely fail, weren't you? You were fucking with me! You wanted me to lose! To lose everything twice! Dying was too easy in the other life. No, I couldn't get hit by a car and just simply die. You had to bring me into another life and make me suffer.

"Oh my god, I've got it. This isn't a parallel universe, I got it wrong in the first place. I'm not in some alternate reality. I died, I actually died when I got hit by the car for the first time and now I'm in hell. This is actually my own person hell. I should have seen it from the beginning! This is my own fucking hell!"

I threw an empty bottle at the wall, watching it shatter. I stared at myself in the mirror, pure hatred in my eyes. I have never hated someone as much as I hate myself right now.

"Fuck you, you fucking dumbass," I muttered. "You ruined things with Frank for the second time now. How could you be so goddamn stupid?"

My cheek was bruised from the car accident and my hair was dirty and messy. I grabbed a pair of scissors as I sobbed, staring at myself. God I fucking hated myself. I took the scissors and began chopping off my hair. By the time I was done it was choppy and uneven but I didn't care. I had to make it up to Frank. God, how many times am I going to have to say that? It seems like I'm always fucking things up and having to fix it with Frank again.

I should just leave him alone. Maybe this was how it was really destined to be. I was never supposed to be with Frank. Maybe that's the real lesson from all of this, that I wasn't supposed to have him at all. We weren't soulmates like I always thought we were. We were never meant to be. My lesson was that I shouldn't have been dating him in the first place. I started out in this world not dating him, that meant I shouldn't have even started dating him at all. I should have just left him alone and carried on with my normal business.

I got up before falling over again. I stumbled out to Mikey's room, finding only my brother in there.

"Damn, are you wasted?" He asked.

"Where's Frank?" I asked.

"Oh, he went to go meet up with some guy he met on grindr or something," Mikey said.

"H-he's on a date with another guy?" I asked.

"Not so much a date as it is a hook up," he said. "Something about wanting to rid himself of his past boyfriend and find someone who's new and better and stronger. Something about his ex being some kind of an ass who outed him and ruined his life. I don't know, he may have mentioned something like that. Oh, wait, you're his ex, right?"

Mikey smirked, looking back down at his phone as I boiled with rage. I went over, wrapping my hands around his throat. Mikey gasped before shoving me off him.

"You're a fucking freak," he spat. "Always have been and always will be."

I left, getting into the car. I drove to the bar where Sarah was, thankful that there wasn't really anyone else on the streets at this time of night because I was swerving a bit. I got to the door when the bouncer stopped me.

"I'm here to see Urie," I said.

I walked inside, finding Sarah.

"Oh, it's you, one half of the cute gay couple," she said. "What can I do for you?"

"Cocaine, I need it now," I said.

She put out a line for me and I snorted it quickly. I sobbed, laying on the floor. Sarah came over, sitting beside me and running her fingers through my hair.

"What's wrong, hon?" She asked but I couldn't find the words, just cried harder. "Was it with your cute little boyfriend?"

I nodded my head, feeling the coke start to kick in.

"Well, do you want to come with me to a bedroom?" She asked. "I promise I can make you forget all about him."

I shook my head.

"Something tells me I know exactly what you want," she said and my lip quivered as I looked up at her. "You want something stronger?"

I nodded and she smiled, sitting me on the couch between her and her husband.

"This little guy wanted something stronger," she said. "Something tells me he's going through a break up."

I barely paid attention as they talked, I just kept thinking about Frank. It wasn't until they were wrapping a belt around my upper arm and handing me a needle that I came back to reality.

"I-I--" I took a deep breath to try and compose myself. "I c-can't inject, b-both my wrists are in b-braces. C-can't bend th-them."

"It's okay, sweetheart," Sarah whispered, taking it from me. "Just lean back and relax, this is the good stuff, it'll put you right to sleep and when you wake up you'll feel so much better."

I nodded, leaning my head back as I closed my eyes. I felt a small pinch before I relaxed, falling asleep in Sarah's arms.