i. alarm clocks and morning routines

"AND THERE HE GOES AGAIN, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!"

Jamie looks up from her tablet at the TV. Live footage of the GHU's football home game plays across the screen, streaming from the stadium not too far from her apartment. Curled up on her comfortable couch and dressed in pajamas, Jamie cheers quietly in the silence of her home. She may not understand what the heck the commentators are talking about, but she shares their enthusiasm since it was her team that scored.

"Roman 'The Bear' Barrington, has done it again! Another touchdown for the Horizon Army!"

The footage switches from following the team as they celebrate at the end zone to the student section of the stadium, showing a sea of green, red, and gold cheering in the background.

Jamie joins them, clapping with a smile.

Her phone pings on her lap with a message from her roommate and friend, Kendra, who is in attendance at the game.

Kendra

DID YOU SEE THAT PLAY????

Jamie smiles at the text and types in a reply.

I did! I'm assuming we're doing good??

HELLA GOOD!! I'LL TEXT YOU LATER xx

She doesn't bother replying, knowing Kendra will be focused on the game again. Instead, she returns her attention to the TV and sees that the camera is back on the field, focusing on jersey number one with the name BARRINGTON written above it in white. The lettering is stark against the forest green of the uniform, bordered with blood red and stitched with gold threads.

The camera pans out as Roman Barrington shuffles from one foot to another while he directs his team on the field. The kicker takes three large steps back, the whistle blows, the ball is caught and he swings a leg forward. The football goes flying overhead, through the goalposts and makes the extra point to the roaring cheers of fans. Jamie's breath hitches, then she turns back to her tablet, pulls up a new page, and begins to draw.

The university band plays a riff from Black Sabbath's Iron Man as the two teams disperse to their respective sides.

There are less than thirty seconds left in the fourth quarter and Golden Horizon University has the lead by twenty-six points. It surprises no one that, at fifteen seconds left, the other team throws in the towel and the Horizon Army takes another win on their second home game of the season. The crowd goes wild, fireworks pop off and it echoes as the sounds reach her from the stadium itself and the TV speakers. Jamie draws one last stroke and sets her drawing pen down.

Her gaze turns back to the celebration happening on screen. The team is huddled together, jumping up and down before movement ripples in their ranks, and Roman "The Bear" Barrington is lifted high above their heads.

She looks back down to her rough sketch and decides that she'll never catch Roman Barrington's likeness unless he isn't moving. But every time she's looked up still shots of him in the past, the itch to draw never came. Sure, the results were good (anatomy was one of her favorite drawing subjects, after all, so she's very confident in it) but there was always something missing, a light that just isn't present when he's actually on the field and playing. So, she has pages upon pages of rough sketches inspired by Roman Barrington in her sketchbooks and tablet that are going nowhere.

Jamie saves the draft, pulls up the logo she's been working on all night, and tilts her head to the side. The art department of GHU is quite competitive, more so in graphic design, but they weren't one of the best in the country if they were slacking, so even though it's only been a little over a month since school started, Jamie's already swamped with homework, research papers from her elective classes, and a presentation for a mock job interview in a week. This is why Jamie's sitting here on a Saturday night, working on her fifth logo design for an imaginary Japanese restaurant client (seven more to go, yay) instead of cheering live for the football team with her peers and living the college life.

Oh, well. This is also part of college life, she decides a few minutes later as she adds the finishing touches to her design. On the TV, a female reporter is interviewing the football coach, asking him about the game just as his team dumps a jug of ice and water over him, soaking the man to the core. Then Roman Barrington steps up next to him with a large smile on his face, slinging an arm across his coach's shoulder, speaking into the mic when the reporter tips it towards him, "I just wanna say, this man is the real champion tonight for putting up with us lot, and we're gonna kick Maine's balls in next week's game!"

All around him, the rest of the team cheers while the coach (Thomas Hugh, the banner across the screen declares) shakes his head, though a small smile tips one side of his mouth as he slaps his clipboard against Roman Barrington's padded stomach and shoos them all off. They leave without further encouragement, though they do hype up the slowly thinning crowds before running by the student section to give high-fives to the hefty amount still waiting for them there, arms outstretched to receive the action.

Jamie smiles at the sight.

Her phone pings with another text from Kendra moments after the team runs off the field and toward their locker room.

Kendra

ROMAN GAVE ME A HIFIVE!!!!!!

I thought that was you I saw lol

Tell me all about it when you get back xx

Jamie smiles again.

Yes, this is the college life.

***

One tablet of oxcarbazepine, one tablet of quetiapine, one tablet of guanfacine multivitamins, and vitamin C.

Jamie makes a face as the last of the meds goes down her throat. And to think she used to chew on vitamin C tablets as a child. She tips her hat off to her younger self as she can hardly stand the taste these days.

The familiar tune of her phone's ringtone drifts into the quiet of the kitchen from her room, prompting Jamie to look up at the clock above their kitchen. 7:16 in the morning. Now, who would be calling her so early?

Hurried, Jamie replaces her medicine bottles in the cupboard before rushing to her room as quietly as possible. A morning person Kendra does not make.

She dives onto her unmade twin-sized bed and seizes her phone just in time to answer the call before the final ring. "Hello?"

"Hey, Jamie," a familiar voice greets, sounding a little frantic. "I need to ask a favor!"

It's Sarai, her co-worker and friend from the university's library.

Jamie momentarily pulls her phone away to check the caller ID in case she's wrong. She isn't. "Alright, shoot."

"Can you cover my shift today? I forgot I had a research paper due tonight and I haven't even started on it! If you can't do the whole day, that's fine, I'll find someone to take up the rest of the shift."

"Give me a sec," Jamie tells her, snatching up a faded pastel blue planner from her nightstand. She has a package arriving today (if she's to believe the tracking information), but nothing else. "I can cover for you. What are your hours?"

"Oh, thank God," Sarai sighs, her relief clear through the phone speakers. "I'm working from opening 'til two in the afternoon. I'm so sorry I couldn't give you a sooner heads-up."

The library opens at eight.

Jamie nods as she replies, "It's fine. The buses are faster this time in the morning so I just need to get ready. Don't worry about finding someone else to finish your shift, I can do it."

"Thank you so much, Jamie! I owe you!"

"Grab me some boba tea from Commons and we're even."

"Taro flavor, right?"

"Always," Jamie grins, then returns Sarai's enthusiastic goodbye before ending the call.

She checks the time again.

7:20. She needs to hustle.

Jamie speeds through the process of washing her face and brushing her teeth, throwing on a GHU sweater and some jeans before slipping her feet into her favorite pair of Chuck Taylors. She grabs her messenger bag, stuffs one of her two GHU Library Staff uniform shirts inside it, and books it out of her apartment room. Jamie speeds down the three flights of linoleum stairs as safely as she can, hand never leaving the metal banister, and all but bursts out of the red brick building, nearly tripping onto the sidewalk as she did.

The morning air is cool and a little crisp, but Jamie barely has time to appreciate the lower temperatures before she spots her bus pulling up to the stop right in front of her apartment—a perk that was a huge factor when she and her family were looking for apartments a couple of months back. And since the apartment is just outside GHU's campus, the bus stop belongs to the university. Jamie was extremely lucky to have found her apartment when they did.

The bus—forest green with GHU stamped all over it and the female volleyball team looking fiercely out at the world on both sides—rolls up to the stop just as Jamie reaches it. She greets the driver, Mr. Lowry, as she steps in. "Good morning."

"Mornin' Jamie, how're you doin'?" the elderly man asks her with a warm smile.

Jamie settles into her regular seat behind Mr. Lowry, finding it open, and replies, "I'm doing well, sir. Yourself?"

"Oh, I'm doin' just swell, sugar," he answers with a jovial laugh as he pulls the lever to close the bus doors. "Where am I taking you on this fine mornin'?"

"To the library," she tells him. "I don't suppose you can get me there in ten minutes?"

It doesn't actually take more than eight minutes to get to the library, but the banter is mandatory at this point, and Jamie loves it. She can still remember the first day she took the bus to her class and Mr. Lowry explained to her how long it usually takes for each route. He's such an understanding man, and Jamie's thankful every time she ends up on his bus.

"I can certainly try for you," he chuckles.

Jamie smiles before looking around the bus. There are two other girls in the back, sitting in different spots, one with her earphones in, and the other with a medical book, both in workout clothes. Aside from that, the bus is empty, which Jamie has observed as typical on a Sunday morning after a home game. She's heard through Kendra that the after-parties most of the student body participates in can get pretty wild.

That's fine with Jamie since it gives her a clear view of GHU's massive campus—a mix of modern red brick buildings with towering rooftops, sprawling, meticulously kept, green lawns, parking lots for miles, and of course, the fifty-thousand capacity, newly expanded, Alexander Greene Stadium. It's all still very overwhelming.

"Alright, Miss Jamie, here we are!" Mr. Lowry smiles as he guides bus seventy-two to its designated stop before opening the doors.

"Thank you," she tells him with a wave and disembarks onto the sidewalk. The bus stop is right at the back of the library, so Jamie does not have far to go to get to the staff entrance. She pulls her ID from her bag's side pocket and taps it onto the mechanical lock. The light switches from red to green followed by a click and Jamie smiles as she pushes her way through the door.

"Good morning," Jamie calls into the employee locker room when she spots the others already in there.

"Morning, Jamie," Thalia waves enthusiastically, standing out from the rest of the chorus of murmured morning greetings. Thalia makes her way over to hug Jamie. "I thought it was your day off today?"

"Sarai asked me to fill in for her," Jamie says, stashing her bag in an empty locker after taking out the staff shirt she stuffed into it earlier and steps into one of the two dressing booths to change.

Thalia continues to talk to her. "For her whole shift?"

"Yeah."

"Wanna get lunch together?"

Jamie fixes her collar in the full-length mirror and slicks her straight, dark brown hair back into a ponytail. Nodding at her reflection she replies, "Sure!"

As Jamie steps out of the booth, Maria Hale, head of the library management team, walks into the room and starts the morning briefing. It's the same thing as always, with some side notes about new books that have been added and some that have been donated that will need to be placed in their proper sections. When no one asks any questions at the end of it, Maria ushers everyone out to the floor to start the work day.

Jamie absolutely loves working at the library even though she's not much of a reader. There's just something about the orderliness of the place that scratches an itch in her brain. So, time flies as she makes her rounds, checking in books, helping students, and keeping the tables and workstations clean. She grabs lunch with Thalia together with a couple of other of their fellow workers at one of the many fast-food chains around campus before they return to relieve the others for their lunch break.

"Why did I eat so much?" Thalia groans as loudly as she can get away with being in a library. She's sorting through their return bin by the check-in counter.

Scanning in the code of the books Thalia hands her, Jamie grins at the monitor. "Because you love food and I know you love food so I didn't stop you."

"Not like you could," Caroline chimes in as Jamie hands her the book to put in the cart she's arranging. Later on, when they're finished, they'll wheel the cart around to replace the books where they belong.

Jamie laughs quietly, catching movement out of the corner of her eye. Someone's stepping into the foyer. Students usually just bypass the counter to find a spot to study or read so Jamie doesn't bother to look up. However, the newcomer shuffles over to the counter and clears their throat.

Smiling, Jamie turns her attention away from the monitor and pauses for half a second. Roman Barrington is standing before her in a bright red hoodie. Jamie shakes off the surprise clouding her brain. "Hi, how can I help you?"

Roman is tall, taller than Jamie's own 5'8, with brown hair peeking out from under his hood and dark eyes bouncing around the counter behind a pair of rounded glasses, never once settling on Jamie. "I need to use one of the private rooms. Coach said we're allowed to use them again."

"Of course." Jamie nods, briefly taking note of his tapping fingers on the countertop as she opens one of the drawers to pull out a key card and hands it over. "Here you go."

He takes it and nods in her general direction with another mumble that Jamie took as his thanks before he shuffles away, heading towards the stairs leading up to the private tutoring rooms on the library's third floor. Jamie tilts her head to the side as she watches the football player inquisitively. What an odd man. Not that has any room to judge, really.

With a shrug, Jamie waves at his back and returns to the job at hand. Well, she would have if Thalia hadn't made a sound that brings to mind the memory of her family's cat, Skipper, gagging after he ate too fast. Concerned, she turns towards her friend and blinks in confusion when she finds the other girl gaping at her.

"What?" Jamie asks.

"That was Roman Barrington," Thalia says, rather redundantly.

Jamie doesn't understand why her friend is pointing out the obvious, but she nods anyway. "Yes, that was."

"Come on, don't be like that," Caroline chimes in, wearing the same look as Thalia, "that was only GHU's very own celebrity, why aren't you freaking out? He's been on TV!"

Jamie frowns, trying to understand where her friends think she's going wrong. In the end, she shrugs. "I don't think it's that big of a deal. Come on, let's get this batch done."

The rest of her shift goes off without another famous college football player coming in to study, and when three-thirty rolls around, Jamie is more than ready to go back to her apartment and unwind from a busy day. Of course, this isn't what happens.

"Shopping?" she asks Thalia, adjusting the strap of her bag across her front.

"I need to buy something work-appropriate for this Friday," Thalia says as she bounces on her toes and holds her hands together as if in prayer. "Kyle refuses to come with me 'cause he says I take forever to shop, Caroline has homework, and none of my other friends are available. You're the only one I haven't asked yet, please say yes."

Unbidden, a small giggle escapes Jamie as she takes pity on her friend. Her whole routine had already been disrupted from the moment Sarai called her. What's another detour, really? You have to accept your life isn't going to go how you want it all the time. You have to breathe through it and react accordingly. Think you can do that? Yeah, she can. "Sure, why not? But let's grab something for dinner later."

Thalia claps with a bright smile. "Thank you so much, Jamie! I'll pay for dinner, no worries! You're the best!"

And that is how Jamie finds herself walking with Thalia across campus under a darkening sky and a light sprinkle of rain to a nearby parking lot where Thalia's car is. They talk about their respective classes and Thalia's excitement to graduate. This leads to Thalia pausing before she asks, "I hope I'm not overstepping any boundaries, but Jamie you're twenty, right? And you're a freshman? Why did you wait to attend GHU?"

Jamie hums. She's been asked this question before. "I had some medical issues that popped up and I didn't get the all-clear from the doctors until the beginning of this year. By that time, two years had already passed by."

"Oh," Thalia gasps, "I'm sorry. Are you okay now?"

Jamie nods with a smile. "Yep!"

It's not a lie. Jamie's okay right now, at this very moment and that's all she could ever ask for.

"Oh." Jamie points at a familiar-looking bright red hoodie, its wearer walking briskly ahead of them. "Isn't that-"

"Roman!"

Out of her peripheral, Jamie can see Thalia turn her head as well as they watch the two girls (friends, perhaps) jogging towards Roman, who comes to a stop at the sound of his name and asks, "Is it cool if we got a picture with you?"

Roman's reply is too quiet for Jamie to hear but apparently he agrees because the girls squeal before one of them holds out their phone. Roman has to bend down so the girls can get him in the shot, and Jamie and Thalia are careful to skirt around them so they won't get caught in the picture. All around, other students take notice and someone shouts, "WHOO! GO ROMAN!"

Jamie looks up and finds a guy waving from the second-story balcony of the building they were passing by.

"A regular celebrity," Thalia says. "We should've asked him earlier for an autograph or something."

"What are you gonna do with an autograph from him?" Jamie laughs.

"Keep it 'til he gets drafted into the NFL then sell it on eBay."

Jamie bumps her shoulder. "She said with a straight face."

Thalia shrugs. "Hey, gotta make that bank. I'm a broke college student who will be swimming in student debt once I graduate."

"Fair enough," Jamie nods.

***

Hours later (Thalia indeed took forever to shop, but Jamie still had fun), Jamie heaves a deep breath in, holds it, and lets it all out as she unlocks her apartment door.

"That you, Jamie?" Kendra calls from somewhere within their shared humble abode.

"Yeah!" Jamie calls back as she takes off her jacket and shakes it out. It had gotten damp from the continued shower outside and Jamie doesn't have enough dirty clothes for a full load to justify going down to the basement where the washing machines are. "Kendra, do you have clothes that need to be washed?"

"Yeah," Kendra says as she appears around the corner of the short hall that leads to their bedrooms and shared bathroom. She's dressed nicely in a pair of high-waist skinny jeans, an off-shoulder blouse, and some killer stilettos. Her short blonde hair has been curled and she's rocking the no-make-up, make-up look. "What do you think?"

Jamie would whistle if she could, but since she couldn't, she opts to clap instead and asks, "Going somewhere?"

"Got a date in twenty." Kendra smiles shyly. "Met him at the game last night."

Jamie checks the time. It's only seven in the evening. She aims a sly smile at Kendra. "Don't stay out too late."

Kendra laughs and bends to grab a black clutch on the couch, slipping the thin strap over her shoulder. "I'll keep you updated. Oh, and I have, like, half a load of dirty clothes."

"Perfect." Jamie nods. With her clothes, she'll have a full load. "Well, have fun on your date. I hope he's the one."

"It's the first date," Kendra reminds her with a smile, one foot already out the door. "Don't you think it's a little too early for that?"

"Never," Jamie says gravely, cracking another smile at her friend before waving goodbye when the blonde finally steps out after sending her a flying kiss. Her phone buzzes in her pocket. It's from Kendra.

Forgot to say. You got a package. It's in your room

Thank you x

Welcome!!!xx

Jamie heads into her room and finds the aforementioned package on the foot of her bed, addressed to her in her mother's neat cursive. It's a small box and Jamie knows exactly what is inside. She carefully cuts the tape holding the flaps together and pulls out bottles of medication and several packs of sweet and sour gummy worms that somehow were only available at the hospital where her mother works. At the very bottom, there's an envelope. This is also addressed to her but in the no-nonsense blocky writing of her older brother who is currently overseas in the army as a combat medic.

She sets it aside before calling her mother.

The phone rings once, twice. "Jamie?"

"Hey, mom, got the package. Thanks for sending it over," Jamie says, sitting on the edge of her bed as she toes off her shoes.

"You're welcome, honey. Be sure to call up Dr. Stephan again this week to check if the pharmacy change has gone through already, okay?"

"Okay, mom." Jamie smiles, absentmindedly shuffling her shoes around until they are perfectly aligned.

"And get your medicine to the nurse's office as soon as possible, huh?"

"I will. How's everyone?"

"Everyone's doing fine. Your dad finally went a day without bursting into tears when he found something that reminded him of you."

Jamie laughs. "I'm glad. He knows he can visit anytime right? It's just a two-hour drive."

"I think he's still trying to wean himself off your constant presence."

"Ah. Well, will I be seeing you and Marcus anytime soon, though?" she asks, referring to her other older brother, the middle child of her family.

"Just let us know when you want us to drop by. Did you see Theo's letter?"

Jamie looks down at the envelope in her hands. "Yep, I did. I'll read it afterward."

"Oh, speaking of, have you eaten yet?"

"Yes, mom. I'm about to wash some clothes. My jacket got damp from the rain."

She can almost see her mom nod as she says, "Of course. Well, take care, honey. Dinner's just about ready so I got to finish that up."

"Alright, mom. Love you."

"I love you too, anak."

Jamie looks up from her phone after she ends the call and scans her room. Unbidden, her gaze returns to the envelope in her hands. "Right. Clothes."

The letter is set aside once more in favor of a change of clothes and afterward, Jamie grabs her half-full hamper, dumps Kendra's load in, and heads down to the basement. The repetition involved in sorting the clothes into piles—turning them inside out before tossing them into one of the many washing machines their apartment complex provides them with—helps to calm Jamie's mind and return the sense of routine she'd lost. After a while, the clothes are in a wash cycle and Jamie heads back up the stairs to her room, passing by the front entrance as she goes and stops on the landing.

Something has caught her eye.

Under the orange porch lights, a bright red hoodie sits curled up against the iron railings. Rather, someone wearing a familiar bright red hoodie is sitting outside her apartment building, leaning listlessly against the railings—in the rain that's been forecasted to fall all night.

Jamie reaches for the door before she can really think about her actions (You have to think, Jamie.). This time, as she stands behind the figure, Jamie does think, remembering her parent's words, her brother's, and her therapist's about strangers and their correlation to danger before the figure gives a groan and slides back until they're nearly lying on the ground.

It's Roman Barrington.

Jamie blinks and looks around. The street's quiet, with only a few cars driving by at thirty-five miles an hour and no indicators as to why Roman Barrington is passed out on her porch, most likely from alcohol if she's to go by the smell coming from him.

She tries to think some more, and she can only come up with one thought: Jamie should bring him in and out of the rain.