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RILEY’S POV-

The encounter had happened so fast, Jenson’s emotions flooding through me. I grabbed her arm as everything went in slow motion. I was face to face with Bren, I could see the pain and the anger in his eyes, those dark eyes that were so haunting.

He needed someone to save him.

I heard the loud bang of the gun, Jenson’s scream behind me, and the pain in my stomach. My eyes were wide with pain, I wanted to scream but blood only filled my mouth. I fell to my knees but I was numb, all I could focus on was the white pain shooting through my body.

My dad’s face flashed before my eyes, I was never going to be able to talk to him again… he would come home to a funeral and a casket for his last member of his family… I was letting him down, I was letting Jenson down… I was letting Them down.

I was holding Jenson’s hand, I wanted to kiss her… I needed her, I didn’t want to leave her. We had so much going for us… I didn’t want to die yet…

I whispered, “Please…” but pain only shot through my body, blood seeping from my mouth.

I hadn’t even realized Jenson had already called the ambulance, and was kneeling next to me in the grass. She knelt close to my face, her eyes bloodshot, she had blood on her white blouse, “Riley… please, please stay with me baby… don’t die! Look at me!”

My eyes must’ve been closing at the tone of her voice, and I was right.

My eyes shut, but I could still feel and hear everything. I was gripping Jenson’s hand hard as my body went into spasms, the shock form the pain was overwhelming, then I heard the sirens.

Jenson whispered, “Riley please…” she was sobbing hysterically, “Please don’t give up…”

I wanted to comfort her, tell her everything would be ok, tell her that I would live… but I couldn’t, because I didn’t know.

I was going to die, this was my purpose, my purpose was to die so that Jenson could live.

I wanted to cry, so my real life, the one I had before Jenson… was all just part of the bigger plan? Or was this payback for Jake’s death? I could hear Jenson’s voice, she was begging me not to die, and I was trying, I was trying for her.

“Riley please… please don’t die…” I could feel her hands on the hole in my stomach, trying to stop the bleeding but there was no use. I knew what my fate was, and it was to die on this cold, wet, grass at midnight.

Then I wasn’t blank anymore, I could see, but this wasn’t the normal sight.

I was looking down at Jenson, she was riding in the ambulance and holding hands with… me. So I was dead, I had died on the way to the hospital. I looked like hell, the hole in my stomach that was covered with tons of gauze.

I touched Jenson’s shoulder, and she felt it, turning swiftly, but seeing right past me. I felt the pain, the remorse for leaving her. The pain she had, it was no longer inside me, I could no longer sense what she was feeling.

That meant I was no longer her Angel.

***

I was in a room of pure white, nothing beyond or behind me, but I was at peace. There was no anxiety, no pain, nothing. Just peace.

But I still missed Jenson, why couldn’t I see her? I wanted to see her, I wanted to make sure she was ok. Was my body still in the hospital? How long has it been?

“Riley, why are you still wondering about your past life?”

I was shocked, who was talking? Should I answer back? “Because… I want… it back.”

“You want to go back to being Jenson’s Angel?”

Was that possible?

“It’s possible if you want it Riley…”

So I could go back to being her permanent Angel, forever, until the day she died.

“So the choice is yours Riley… you can be her Guardian Angel forever outside of your human body, or you can be her Angel back inside your human body. But there are conditions…”

I groaned, “Of course there are conditions…”

“You will have to tell her about Jake… and then tell her what you really are.”

“Wait, so I have to tell her that I killed Jake? And then reveal the only secret she mustn’t know?”

“If she wants you to be her Angel, she will chose you to be, and she will accept the sins you have committed. But if she doesn’t forgive you… you will have to be her Guardian Angel as an Angel, not a Human.”

So if she didn’t forgive me for the death of Jake… someone, a close friend, I had accidentally killed out of jealousy… I’d have to protect her secretly. Like I had been, just outside of my body. But if she miraculously forgave me… I could stay her Angel, in my human body, with her, and it wouldn’t be a secret.

It seemed bizarre, and it was a big chance to take.

But I was going to try.

“I want to go back.”

***

I was alone in the hospital room now, where was Jenson? Why was I alone? I wished my dad was here… he was going to hear of this and be sent home immediately… good. I wanted to see him

Jenson walk in, her eyes never leaving mine. She sat next to me, looking at me like she’s seen a ghost, “Riley… I thought you were going to die…”

I smiled weakly, almost forgetting about what I needed to tell her, “I promised you I would stay forever, didn’t I?” Then I remembered, I still needed to tell her. I should tell her now, get it over with, I mean I had to eventually. I’m sure there was a time limit on this stuff. “Jenson… I need to tell you this, while there’s still time.”

“What do you mean…?”

I looked down, away from her blue eyes that were searching mine. She was scaring me, I was scared to lose her, I was scared to not be forgiven. I wanted her to forgive me, but I’m not sure that she was going to. I stuttered, “I-I… need to tell you something. There’s no good or bad, or right or wrong way to tell you this… and I don’t know how you’re going to take this….”

Jenson just stared at me, not really sure at what I was saying.

“Jenson… I caused Jake’s death.”

She stared at me, her wide blue eyes looking at me, and then turning to disgust. She put her head in her hands and began to sob, then stood, I grabbed her hand, “Please… Jenson… it was an accident.”

“You weren’t even with him!”

I held her hand tighter, no, I couldn’t let her walk away, I couldn’t leave her forever. “Jenson… please… it was an accident, I didn’t mean to kill him… I just… he had something I wanted… I was lost, confused, hurt…”

She let her arm go limp in my hand, her eyes were burning with hatred and regret, “How is that your fault Riley, because I’m starting to think everything about you is a sick lie.”

I felt a pain in my heart, those words cut through me like a knife, but I couldn’t feel Jenson’s emotions.

Right, I wasn’t her Angel anymore…

“Jenson… this might be hard to understand… but I have a couple of things to tell you…”

She stared at me, her tear streaked face looking so vulnerable, and hurt. No, this is what I was trying to prevent, I was trying to saver her from herself, and now I was trying to save her from me.

“Jenson… remember that night you woke up during Christmas break? You thought someone was in your house, you thought you were being watched? That was me. It was me that saved you from the 18 Wheeler, from the almost car wreck, everything… two nights before you actually met me… I met you, in my dreams. I was ordered and pronounced your Guardian Angel, until your 18th birthday. But when I was shot, I died, that’s why I was put into your life, to save you. I was going to die for you, but I made mistakes on the way… I accidentally caused Jake’s death… I was sitting in the car when you two were talking… and when I hollered at him, he lost sight of the road and…well…”

She sat down, looking as if she had just been told something that was going to change her life forever. But I did, and she had been changed, everything we had been had been was now a lie. When I first met her, it wasn’t because I genuinely wanted to be her best friend, it was because I had to be.

But as time went on, I fell in love with her, everything she was and was not. Her flaws, her depression and anxiety, they turned into things, beautiful things, about her that made her Jenson. Everything became beautiful within her and when she gave it to Jake… I snapped.

I blamed the connection, the attachment, because I was watching and feeling her feel loved when I was lonely. When I felt as if I was being used… but I was being used. As her Angel, and I had to die for her, but I would do it all again.

Because I love her.

I held her arm, running my fingers over the tough scars on her arm, knowing exactly what they were from. I begged, “Jenson… please… please believe me. If you don’t…”

She shook her head, “Riley… I gave you a lot of me, things that I never told anyone… but I’m not leaving you for the one thing you did wrong, I’m going to continue loving you… For all the things you did right Riley.”

Then all of a sudden I felt the emotions, the pain and the happiness, all that wasn’t mine.

They were Jenson’s emotions.

I smiled, tears rolling down my cheeks, She was forgiving me…

And so I would stay here with her, forever.