There is something about the truth behind secrets that brings out fear and immeasurable pain to one's soul. It tortures you to your grave and makes your skin tingle in exasperation. A secret that you worry if let out of the bag and becomes known to people, will tear you apart and prevent you from a better life. A scary secret.

I do not remember much about my father except for the fact that he made me love playing basketball. There was something in his enlightenment upon watching basketball that made me want him to look at me with such love and interest just as he had to the reflections of people on the television. He neglected every duty brought along by being a father. He did not care. He despised a baby's cry and their need for attention. He found it delusional and worth not paying attention too. He always used to express his dream that one day we would just disappear so he could have "your mother's full attention!"

At first it did not make sense for him to say that because he always had our mother's full attention. We spent most of our childhood locked up in the attic out of our father's way. All we would spend our time on was reading and keeping it quiet so he would not recall we existed. At night, still in the attic, I would read my sister to sleep without having food to eat the whole day. On good days mother would drug our father's food so he would sleep early for us to have a properly homecooked meal. With him awake we would eat snacks that filled our stomach for about two hours. We would sleep to pass the pain for the rest of the afternoon and sometimes nights.

The only time I had to be in same space with my father was when we had the privilege to meet our relatives. Both our father's parents died of anaemia when they were little children of the ages four and six. Him and his brother Gerald. They came to visit twice a year and found delight in my sister's innocence and gracefulness. She was very kindhearted and loving nothing like any of our parents. Whereas I was a boy with an angered heart and a large temper.

My father would then pretend to be a charming and full-time parent and took me to the grounds and made me play basketball with him. He was very pompous and proud so much that when my skills improved in the sport he would attack me and never admit I was better than him in not only the sport. When we began going to school at home, our lecturers would give our parents our daily remarks that angered him greatly. He slowly unlocked my demons and wilted the goodness in me. The only time I was a better person and found myself again was when I was with my sister Carrie.

Aunt Mary was always with Carrie when she found time to do so. She never had time because of her sister-in-law who talked nothing of her children but so much about herself and her career addressing abruptly that her career was more important. She was so assertive and young at mind and heart that she made Mary second guess her children's upbringing. We were always thin and very silent and miserable.

One day when I was about eleven years old, Aunt Mary took an unexpected visit to the house. It was on a weekday and we had been forbidden to attend private school. It was years after Mary had proposed or parents should allow us to meet and mingle with children our age. Still trapped and held captive on the attic, my mother panicked to the ding of the doorbell. She ran swiftly up the stairs and told us to get ready. We did have our own bedrooms we never slept in. They were there for show. We quickly got dressed in our uniforms and waited for our mother to come and get us.

Carrie came into my room and proposed we go downstairs and find out what was going on for our mother had not returned to us for a long time. She was weeping on Aunt Mary's shoulder and asking for forgiveness. Mary had found out about the attic and our ill-treatment and suggested she and Gerald to take care of us under one condition. My mother had to lie to her husband so they could go on a trip and leave their kids with her and never come back. She demanded it to be their secret from their husband and us.

What was scary about it all was the truth behind the secret they agreed to keep. Our mother did not care whether we were with her or not. We were a burden and an unlucky charm to both our parents. Aunt Mary does not know that we know what they did. We are still grateful for what she did.

Aunt Mary and Gerald were not as rich as our parents. Aunt Mary was a struggling journalist who felt that her passion for journalism and exposing the truth to the people was restricted so much. She wanted her voice to be for the people. Not every dream comes true. She quit her job afterwards got a scholarship to go study political science at Harvard where she met Gerald.

Uncle Gerald and my father were both born and raised in the comfort of their parent's riches. They both received equal inheritance. Gerald used it to enhance his education whereas my father got married to a woman with loose morals and no vision and wasted it on useless materials. With both their riches combined, they started a family he did not want.

Gerald started and enlarged his business in oil mining and distribution and extended his empire. This happened due to the inspiration given by his wife and us. He felt the need to make a better life for his family and has treated us like his children since they adopted us (not legally). Their love for children was admirable. They adopted again (legally). This time it was an older girl who was sixteen at the time who is currently based in the States managing one of dad's businesses and is getting married to an Australian man.

We spent six years together whilst watching mom and dad love each other immeasurably. Even when they fought we never worried for we knew mom would find her way back into her husband's arms. Dad felt the same way. Through their ambition they managed to make a good life for themselves. It is just us who always messed things up. They did teach us that making mistakes is part of growing and one day we will find our rhythm.

''Keith are you sure this is a good idea?'' I asked turning to Keith who was behind the steering wheel.

''Yes trust me. When have I ever betrayed you?''

''A lot of times bro. Right now you said we were going to your house and I can tell from your excitement we aren't.''

''Okay fine I will tell you,'' he pauses and takes a short left turn in the direction to the city.

''I'm listening! Dude talk.''

''So the girls organized a double date with us and Natalie told me that Lizzy is into you deeply.''

''I don't know man, it just does not feel natural with her you know what I mean. I really like her but I'm not feeling her,'' I said doubtful of her intentions or mine. Being with me was a good word in the books but that was not what I wanted.

''I thought that you said you needed a person to take to the wedding?'' he parked the car in front of Steers reminding him of his night here with Olivia.

''Yes I do but it's really not that important and besides-''

''Don't worry man. I'm sure if you spend time with her today you will like her more. Let's go.''

We walked in and found our dates and had a good time overall. We took pictures and everything was fun but could not measure up to the night I had with Olivia. Shit why am I thinking about her? Do I love her? I excused myself and went to the bathroom to wash my face. This cannot be love. I met her not long ago.

''Sir hi,'' I greeted the man I had seen in Olivia's apartment. He did not seem pleased to see me. Probably because we are both in the bathroom. Or we were having that weird moment as man in the toilet, staring at each other as though we do not know what takes  place in a bathroom.

''Hello,'' he replied nervously dismissing any chance of a conversation and left.

He made his actions seem very suspicious and worth investigating. I followed him outside and saw him enter his Mazda Axela car and drove off. I returned to the date and waited to get home and tell Olivia what had happened and see how Carrie was doing.

***

''Carrie! Carrie! Where are you!''

Carrie had taken her fifth beer, I had been counting. She went upstairs and this time I did not bang the door angrily. I quickly stood up from the couch and went to find her. She was neither in her room nor Toby's. This mansion was massive and took me exactly ten minutes to tire looking for her. I went to my room to retire and luckily she was in there. She looked so sad that I felt something in me break.

''Hey Carrie are you alright?'' I asked walking over to her and speaking with my most delicate voice for moments such as these.

''You know this was my sister's room before she left us. I would run to her every time I was in trouble,'' she spoke under the spell of her drunkenness. She sat on the bed still. Her words sought consolation.

''What trouble did you commit Carrie?'' I asked softly and took a seat next to her and held her hands settled on her lap.

''I'm in trouble with mother-nature. I did bad,'' she said with tears running down her cheeks. Her face was flushed and in fear.

''What did you do?''

''I missed my period and I think I'm pregnant.''

Damn!

''Did you use protection? What happened?'' I asked calmly.

''You remember brother's party two weeks ago? I met this guy and he was funny and cute and kept telling me how beautiful I was and led me to my room. I didn't even ask if he had protection or not and now I'm screwed and-'' She was gasping for air with every word she spoke.

''Hey, hey, hey calm down it's okay we'll figure something out,'' I said comforting her.

''I'm home!'' shouted Toby.

''Please Olivia don't let him in here,'' cried out Carrie.

I made Carrie rest on my bed and ran downstairs to meet Toby downstairs. I was also in shock. Carrie was only sixteen years old and was scared to death. I would be if I had been in her shoes.

''Hey love. I brought dinner. Where's Carrie?'' asked Toby removing dishes from the cupboard and putting them on the kitchen counter.

''Uhm, she's resting. How was your day?'' I asked trying to change the topic. I love it when he calls me that. He's good at smooth talking people. Player!

''It was good. Guess who I saw today?''

''I have no idea Toby. Just tell me.''

''Your mother's boyfriend.''

''Liberty? Where? How?''

''I was on a date and I saw him. He was so nervous to see me just like back at your house.''

''On a date with Lizzy?'' I inquired. Obviously.

''Yes. Why are you always in that uniform? You look beautiful but do you have to?''

''Yes I have to mister. Don't put the sweet chili for Carrie,'' I begged as he served burgers and fries.

''Why not she loves it?''

I was just worried she was going to puke because of unusual smell. Sorry if I was a bit overprotective. I took Carrie's food to her and fed her and she slept soundlessly. I knew my place but I could not help but think she came to my room for her sister's help. I was now sleeping in that room and it was a good reason for me to help her. I had already planned to go to the city tomorrow to begin my search. I planned to buy her a pregnancy test on my way back. I still did not know the location of this place. Even Google maps refused to show me.

When she comes back for her food I'm going to tell her. Shit she is here. Get your shit together and be normal for once in your life!

''You haven't started eating your food yet?'' asked Olivia heading to the kitchen to get her food. After she did she joined me whilst I watched Scandal Season 5.

''I was waiting for you,'' I said hoping she got the hint. She was really hard to charm.

''I was thinking you could help me find my mother and Liberty.'' Her hair was tied to a puff and had something tied on her wrist. I could not focus on her words. I muted the television so I could give her my full attention.

''Why? She left. What if she doesn't want to be found?''

''I want to find my dad and sister,'' she said thoroughly ''I need a place to live.''

''But you live here. If it is not enough I could do anything for you.'' I immediately realized that I was saying things I did not think about. I was completely losing my mind. Focus!

''Thank you but after the wedding you won't be needing me here and I need to prepare for the worst that can happen.''

I really wanted her to believe me that I could make and provide her a home. Even if I had tried to change her mind on leaving after the wedding, it would not have happened. I offered my service and told her I would use all my resources to help her find her mother.

''First I'm going to need you to tell me everything you know about your mother and boyfriend.''