"I think you need to talk to someone about Los Angeles."

"What?" Why was he bringing Los Angeles up now? It had been months. "Why?"

"It seems to have affected you a lot more than you've been letting on."

I crossed my arms over my chest, hoping the sudden speed up in my heart rate wasn't evident. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Which is why you have to."

"I don't have to do anything." 

"Look, I know it isn't easy, but you have to be reasonable. It's affecting your actions, Del, wherever you go."

"Is not."

He scoffed. "Sure, and that's why you're afraid to get a ride home from a guy."

"I'm not afraid! I'm cautious, okay? It's different when you're a girl, and I'm just looking out for myself! Frankly, I don't think there's anything wrong with that."

"And you're right!" He moved closer to me. "I just think you need to be a little more vocal about it. If the person offering you a ride was not Aaron, but instead some random guy that you didn't know, you would still not be able to say no."

"I-"

"You know it's true, Del. You're saying yes when you want to say no, or no when you want to say yes, simply because that's what the other person wants to hear!"

He rubbed his eyes. "You cannot keep trying to please other people. Sometimes, especially when it comes to your safety, you have to be straightforward and vocal about what you want."

"Sam, I am!"

"Really? If you didn't feel safe going with Aaron in the car, you could've just said it! If you wanted me to come with you, you could've asked!"

"And I would've!"

"Bullshit. You and I both know it."

My hands balled up into fists, my nails digging into the skin below. The familiar sensation of prickling eyes threatened with the possibility of tears spilling over, and I shut them once to blink them back.

"You don't know shit, Sam. The choices I make are none of your business.."

"You made it my business the day you decided to not speak up in LA! What the fuck am I supposed to do? Watch my best friend get beaten up by the world in a hundred ways just because she's too naïve to understand what's out there?"

"I'm perfectly aware what's out there Sam!" My voice sounded slightly hysterical and broke multiple times. "You saw for yourself. "

"Being aware isn't everything! You need to act on it! I don't care if you think that telling people no makes you mean. If... if some guy pulls up to you at a party and says he wants to have sex with you, are you just going to say yes because you're worried you'll hurt his feelings?"

I'd been biting my lip so hard that it split: the bitter metallic taste of blood filled my mouth and I grimaced.

"If you came here to lecture me, Sam, please leave. I don't need another person telling me what to do all the time. My overachiever brother is enough for that." My voice came out a lot more calm and collected than I felt, for which I was thankful. 

The last thing I wanted was him to see that he'd hit a sore spot.

He frowned. "I'm gonna let you go inside now, but don't you think this is over. If I don't see you speaking up for yourself I'm gonna have to talk to someone about it myself."

"Screw off, Sam," I mumbled, and although I was sure he heard it, he made no reply.

I didn't bother walking to the driveway; I cut straight across our huge lawn towards the door, looking back only once I had reached the porch. Sam was still standing where we had been on the side of the footpath, looking across the street.

Unlocking the door, I pushed open and walked into the house, making sure to shut it behind me as quietly as possible.

"Dellie? You back?" My brother's voice came not from the study, but the kitchen. Dropping my bag to the floor and kicking my shoes off, I walked over to the kitchen to find him.

"Nate, what the fuck are you doing?" I mumbled, still irritable from what had just happened with Sam.

He ignored my tone. "I'm making you a sandwich."

"Me?"

"Yeah, I already ate mine. Sorry."

I frowned at him, because even though I wanted to be angry right now, I couldn't. Apologising for eating food that he made for himself. Stupid, selfless idiot.

My insides burned when I thought of the way I had spoken about him to Sam.

"No, no, it's totally ok. Thanks, by the way. I'll just wash my hands and come."

"Okay."

***

Three hours later, I had finished up with my school work and a run, and was in the kitchen making dinner with my dad.

"Where's mom, by the way?"

"She had another consultation. She should be back in about half an hour or so, though," he said, glancing at the clock mounted in the corner.

My mom was a nutritionalist, which, though it could have its good sides, like a generally healthy diet, could also get a little tough.

She had been in a relatively small role for years, while my dad worked odd hours as head of the global team in his company. 

Mom had mostly taken care of my brother and I when we were younger, and now that we were capable of doing so ourselves, for the most part, she had stepped up to take a bigger role at work.

My dad had been promoted last year as well, and was now operations manager only for the US and Pacific, so he technically had regular working hours now.

I opened the drawer with the plates in it, picking them up and laying the table.

"Call your brother."

"NATE! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE, DINNER'S READY!"

"Del, if I wanted you to yell, I could have done it myself."

"Sorry, dad."

Nate came tumbling down the stairs, running into the kitchen like a madman. "Here, here, here. I'm here."

Sometimes it was hard to believe that he was practically an adult. Though he would be eighteen in three week's time, he didn't really act like it.

"Nate, what the fuck."

"Language."

"Sorry, dad," I mumbled again.

"Nate, are you going to school tomorrow?" My dad started heaping the pasta onto our plates.

"Nope. No point. I'll stay home and study."

"Okay."

"Wait, but I need a ride to school," I said, filling water into all of our glasses. "Maeve's sister is sick."

"Ask one of your friends, I'm staying home."

The first friend to have asked would be Sam, but I couldn't exactly text him asking for a favour right now, after the way I had spoken to him. 

I messaged Ray and Lena, but kept my fingers crossed that Maeve would be able to make it tomorrow.

The problem with Lena was that she lived far away, and probably was going to get a ride from her older brother, who wouldn't be willing to make the drive all the way over for me.

And Ray for whatever reason loved to switch her phone off, so I would be lucky if the message even delivered.

Being the only one out of my friends who was yet to turn sixteen, I didn't have my license yet, let alone a car of my own. Still, my birthday wouldn't really signal any change unless my parents decided to buy a third car.

Mom had hers, which nowadays was always out, and Dad left for work in the mornings just after I left for school.

So for now, I was stuck riding with my friends to school.

Guess I would have to bike to school, or call Aaron in the morning. He had offered, after all, and if I still didn't take him up on the offer, Sam would be after me again.

You should be able to ask when you need something, he would say. 

Well, Sam, I am very much capable of doing that, thanks.

I sent Aaron a quick message, and put my phone away before sitting down for dinner.

***

My body was uncharacteristically fatigued when I climbed into bed that night, rewatching an episode of The Office.

Nate was still studying, and my dad was working in the study downstairs.

I pulled my comforter over my body, snuggling into the warmth it brought, when a quiet ding from my phone signalled that someone had replied. 

Aaron Cox

Today

Aaron:

Hey Del 

Sure, I can drop by your place tomorrow on the way to school. 

Don't know if I can give you a ride back home though.

You:

oh thanks a ton

and dw about it

I'll convince my brother to come pick me up after school :)

Aaron:

Np 

Pretty sure my brother's gonna freak out though lmao

You: 

haha why? 

does he not like me or sum?

Aaron:

Noo lmaoo he has the fattest crush on you its hilarious

You:

haha what no

weve never even spoken lol

Aaron: 

Im pretty sure he likes you though he kept asking about you

You: 

what about me

yk if someone asks what my name is or what i was doing in your car its a fair question,

Aaron:

Nah, it was the usual

If you were dating sam

How long you guys have been together

You: 

we're not

Aaron:

ok?

You can't blame people for thinking it though

I'm still not convinced

You:

haha no we're actually not 

we literally had a fight right after you left lol

but i do get why it seems that way

anyways imma sleep now, see you in the morning

thanks for that btw

Aaron: 

No problem :)

Good night

You: 

night

I messaged Lena and Ray, to whom the previous message hadn't even delivered, that I had a ride, and they needn't bother picking me up tomorrow before turning over to sleep.

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