Sorry for the long delay. A lot of reasons but most importantly, a writer's block! I will post the next update (might be Your dark Shadows or an OS) before the weekend x

(And not proofread, so please ignore any mistakes!)

Ashwin's face was closer than ever.

His lips were slightly parted and his eyes oozed love.

Oh god! He is going to kiss me.

As he stepped forward and let his long index finger trace my jawline, he cupped my cheek with his other hand and leaned forward to kiss. I leaned myself into him as he held my face between his palms and his lips found mine, and he took me in a long, tormenting kiss.

Our first kiss.

His hands worked on pulling me closer to his body. He whispered into my ears in his deep voice.

A: I love you.

R: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Rohit opened his eyes and shot up from his chair as he found his mind involuntarily imagining Ashwin as his lover. He grabbed the water on his table and gulped down the entire bottle in one go, not bothered about his shaking hands spilling the water and wetting the front of his shirt.

Fk fk fuuuck! What is wrong with me!!

He pulled his hair out in frustration, as his mind refused to erase the scene he had just imagined in his head.

Eww!!! I will never forget this. This is going to terrorise me for the rest of my life. Shit!

He cursed Sridhar for ruining the chances of kissing a girl ever again in his life without replaying the part in his mind. He looked out of the glass panel in his room and saw Ashwin walk into his room. His friend looked to be in a pensive mood and he kicked the table in anger at the state of things.

I couldn't give two shits about gratitude to this old man. I am not betraying my friend but then, how do I help these two? With Sivaangi's impending marriage and Ashwin's proposal at this point, is there anything I can do to change their lives for better?! Should I speak with Tarun and make him understand the situation?

A few minutes later, he found Sivaangi scurrying towards Ashwin's room and she stopped outside the door for a second to take a deep breath before entering the room.

The deep folds in his brows reflected the confusion and curiosity to find out what was happening in that room. He walked towards the room only to be stopped by Bryan and Vaishali.

Bryan: Dai, enna da nadakuthu inga? Sivaangi ah Ashwin ethuku kattipudichitu irunthaan? Athuvum ava fiancé, avan per enna? Antha.. Tarun! Avan minnadi eh rendu perum etho lovers maathri konjikitu irunthaanga, athuvum namma office building ku velila? Something is fishy.
(Dude, what is happening here? Why was Ashwin hugging Sivaangi in front of her fiancé, Tarun? Openly in front of everyone, outside our building. There was nothing platonic about that hug. Something is fishy)

R: What? Was anyone else there?

Vaishali: Only twenty odd people from our building! And a few from the other block.

R: Crap! I hope the Sridhar uncle's associates don't hear about it. Come back to me in case there is any gossiping about them. We need to contain any damage already done!

Rohit facepalmed at Ashwin's attitude. He was worried about what Tarun's reaction would have been at Ashwin's impulsive behaviour. He quickened the pace and opened the door without bothering about his lack of manners.

A: I love you.

S: You love Rohit.

The two of them stood close staring into each other's eyes trying to process it when Rohit burst into the room.

R: Chi! Stop that! Avan ah naan appadi kannavula kuda nenaikula. Avan oda boyfriend ah irukurathuku bathila naan thooku maatitu sethuduven. Naan LGBT community support panaren aana naan gay illa. Ennaku girfriend than venum, Ashwin vendam, nee vachiko. Kadavule, ennaku yen intha maathri oru sothanai! Sridhar uncle sonnathu ellam poi Sivaangi. Nambaathe. Please ma! Ashwin unna mattum than love panaraan.
(Eww!!! Stop that! He is not my boyfriend. I would much rather hang myself than be his lover! I am an LGBT ally but I am definitely not gay. I am straight, please believe me. Oh god, why do you have to put me through this! Sridhar lied to you. Please don't believe it. Ashwin loves you, and only you)

Ashwin's hands moved from Sivaangi's shoulders like it burnt his fingers. She failed to notice that he instantly moved to keep a distance from her. Clueless about his emotions, her feet automatically moved towards Rohit.

S: What do you mean?

R:  That's the truth, trust me. Sridhar uncle thinks you are unworthy of Ashwin, he wants his son to marry a girl who will bring in more wealth. But he must have noticed Ashwin's interest in you so he has planned the whole thing meticulously. He has been cleverly playing up with you two.

Sivaangi, I don't know why you had to discuss your love with that vile man. Every word out of his mouth is a lie! I have no idea why you did not bother to come to me or Ashwin to clear the air!

Ashwin had difficulty processing the whole thing, he was hurt beyond repair. It really did hit deep. He had never imagined that this girl whom he considered synonymous with his life made the choice of believing in someone's stupid stories about him.

R: Sivaangi! Ivlo periya mutaal ah nee? Ashwin unnoda best friend than ah? Avan life la nadanthathu ellame unnaku theriyum la, athu ellathukum apparam nee yeppadi avunga appa sonnatha nambuna? Neenga rendu perum oruthara oruthar love pannitu, velila sollama yen ippadi kashta padureenga? Nee konjam yosichu irunthenaa, ithellam avoid pannirukulaam.
(Sivaangi, are you stupid? Ashwin is your best friend, isn't he? He has opened about everything that has happened in his life, so how could you believe in his dad? The two of you have been in love with each other for a long time. Both of you are clearly suffering because you haven't disclosed it to each other. We could have avoided all this unwanted drama, had you used your brain to process the whole thing.)

The relief that Ashwin loved only her was short lived, only to be followed by the tightness in her chest. Sivaangi felt guilt consume her entire mind and body. Her senses kicked in as she realised her folly.

God no!! I messed it up! Completely!

Her guilt was combined with shame, confusion, worry and anxiety. She feared to look at Ashwin knowing that he wasn't going to let this go. Betrayal was one thing he would never forgive or forget.

Rohit notice the varying emotions on Ashwin's face. He decided to give the couple the much needed privacy to sort out the issue.

R: I am going to leave you two alone to settle this. It is essential that you two have this conversation right away.

He walked to Ashwin and whispered in a low voice.

R: Ashwin, I totally understand how you feel but please take my advice on this. Do not let the hurt blind your senses. I know you always block the person who causes you pain but you cannot eliminate Sivaangi from your life. It doesn't work that way with love. So please don't..

Ashwin ignored him and tried to walk out of the room. When Sivaangi tried to come in his way trying to hold his biceps, he closed his eyes and took a step back, holding his hands up to stop her from touching him. His clenched jawline and throbbing veins in his neck screamed anger. Pure fury.

R: Dai Ashwin. Listen to me, stay calm and talk to her. Don't leave.

She started to feel agitated. He has never disregarded her emotions ever before, she could sense bitterness replace love. He was shutting her out and she was panicking at his obvious rage emanating from his reaction.

Ashwin stormed off from the room. He did not speak a word to either of them.

R: Ashwin, nillu da. Don't do this. Odipora naala problems thaana solve aagathu da.
(Hey! Don't do this. Running away from your problems isn't the best way to solve it)

The inability to read the emotions on Ashwin's face was an unsettling feeling for Rohit. He understood his pain but he was worried if his friend has taken offence to an extent that he no longer cared for Sivaangi who stood in a corner with her arms wrapped around her abdomen as her body shook with nonstop sobs.

Sridhar: Ashwin! Lower your voice. You just barged into an important conference call. What is wrong with you?

A: What is wrong with me??? Seriously? What the fuck is wrong with you? How dare you tell Sivaangi that I am gay?

Sridhar: I don't like her around you.

A: Like I care! Who gave you the right to make decisions in my life?

Sridhar: I am your father. I mean good for you.

A: Father? You were not much of a father, were you? I haven't hear of my mum mention you in the first fourteen years of my life. You must have been a filthy human for her to avoid talking about you.

Sridhar: I did it for a better cause young man. Look at me! My wealth and power are all yours after me. I am sorry I missed out on your childhood but we are together now. Ashwin, you are a brilliant man. Stop using your heart to think, use your head. I loved your mum but in reality,  we would have been divorced because of the mediocre lifestyle, we would fought over petty things.

A: So you chose to sacrifice me and my mother! Are you really a genius that you claim to be? Because you never fail to surprise me with your dumshit.

Sridhar was prepared for this tirade. He knew that some day Ashwin would hear about his conversation with his beloved Sivaangi and confront him. And he also knew that it would be an outburst of all the emotions and hatred he had accumulated over the years. He wasn't really concerned about his outburst. End of the day, he deserved it for abandoning his son. He for some unknown reason assumed that Ashwin would never let go off the wealth that he had amassed for his only son. He was entirely unaware of Ashwin's disinterest in anything that had to do with that man.

A: You ran away from your responsibilities. You are nothing less than a spineless fool who left his love and unborn child for materialistic needs. If  there was even an ounce of virtue and morality in you, you would have stayed back with amma and me. I have no respect for you.

Sridhar: I agree I was a spineless fool but what are you? A sentimental fool.

A: Lack of sentiments doesn't make you a strong person. You are a covert narcissist. You are selfish and full of yourself. You thought you were above all and that you deserved this life you are living right now. The wealth you show off, is that even yours? Your late wife inherited it from her dad and you took it from her. You demand respect from everyone but you are a complete piece of shit! Your so called intelligence, talents and accomplishments is a joke! Learn to command respect by showing some empathy towards your fellow beings.

Sridhar looked unmoved.

Sridhar: Let me be. Look at what you have done with all the talent and capabilities in you. You have chosen to focus on charity!

A: Corporate philanthropy! Charity is demeaning the whole idea!

Ashwin bit out in anger.

Sridhar: Paisa ku priyojanam illatha vellai. Naan kaasu panaren, nee vettiya selavu panara. Ithula enna peruma vendi kidakuthu unnaku?
(Not even worth a penny! I make all the money and you are generous to just give it away for free. I don't understand the pride in doing that)

A: Chase the vision, not the monetary gains is my motto.

Sridhar: Oh please! Spare me! I am not interested in your philosophy.

A: I am not preaching. And I don't give a damn about your ideas and lack of principles.

Sridhar looked bored. He stretched his arms out, forced a fake yawn making Ashwin grind his teeth and fist his hands.

A: Forget all that. I am here to warn you about being involved in my life. Don't even think of  pulling another one of your nasty tricks on me and Sivaangi. This is about me and my life. I will do whatever I want to. You can't stop me.

Sridhar: Don't make an emotional decision now. I don't really see what you see in her that interests you. I will never let you marry her. 

Ashwin moved to stand in front of his father and looked at him straight in his eye. For once, the wrath intimidated Sridhar.

A: Don't you dare even think of interfering in my life ever again. I will slit your fucking throat and still get away with it.

And listen, don't dream about our father son relationship, you lost the right when you left my mother. I agreed to be part of your family for the sake of Yashi. You are truly capable of murdering that child because of her illness. You really disgust me. You have no heart and I will hate you forever.

Sivaangi sat in Ashwin's cabin, hopefully waiting for his return. And when he did, she knew that he had made a decision and it was just what she dreaded the last hour.

A: Sivaangi, I am tired. 

S: I know, I am the reason. I promise I will make it alright. I will never hurt you or disappoint you ever again.

A: Stop talking. I am done!

S: What?

She was horrified at his decision.

A: Nothing saddens me more than knowing that you chose to believe in his words after knowing what he did to me and my mother. I feel betrayed.

S: No Ashwin, please listen to me. He said you will commit suicide if anyone gets know about your sexuality.

A: And you thought I was so weak?

Sivaangi had no answer to it. She had tears freely running down her face.

A: Unna romba namunen Sivaangi.
(I truly believed you)

It felt like a clawed hand squeezed her hand listening to his toneless voice and the accusation in his glassy eyes. He meant that he no longer trusted her.

A: Manasula etho oru vithamaana bayam. Amma enna vitutu ponnapo iruntha athe bayam. Pathinaalu vayasula yaarum illaama nadu therula nika porengra bayam. Kashtamaa iruntha amma voda madila paduthukuven eh, aanaa innimel yaar kita pesuven appadinu bayam. Amma than ennoda best friend, ennoda ore family, ellame amma than, aanaa avunga illama ponnapo romba lonely ah irunthen.
(The sort of unsettling emotion in my heart that I experience when I lost my mother. At 16, I had no place to go after losing my mother and I had no one to console me when I needed a soul to wrap their arms around my shoulder. My mother was my only family and my best friend so when I lost it, loneliness engulfed me)

Inniku eppadi iruku theriyuma? Antha feeling mupathu vayasula vanthiruku, innum romba intense ah vanthiruku, athu normal ah? Am I capable of feeling that loneliness and height of depression at 30? That just makes my life pathetic doesn't it?
(Do you know how I feel today? I suffer the same blow at 30, and it is a lot more intense, do you even think this is normal? Am I capable of feeling that loneliness and height of depression at 30? That just makes my life pathetic doesn't it?)

S: I am sorry Ashwin.

Sivaangi self hugged herself with her arms gripping her elbows. Ashwin ignored her and continued talking and his voice was thick with emotion.

A: Intha nimisham, nejama sethu poiralaamnu thonnuthu. Amma vida konjam athigamaa love panniten unna. I met you at an age when depending on someone meant that she is going to be my world, my everything. So that is what you were. The reason for my very existence. But you broke my trust. You broke my heart. You broke me. Completely.
(Right now, I really wish I was dead. You are above my mother. That is how much I loved you. I met you at an age depending on someone meant that she is going to be my world, my everything. So that is what you were. The reason for my very existence. But you broke my trust. You broke my heart. You broke me. Completely)

The room felt airless and Sivaangi felt dizzy as his words pierced her heart.

A: Unna thavira yaarkum, anaathaya iruntha Ashwin eppadi irunthaanu theriyaathu. I don't like to play victim to gain any anyone's pity. Aana ithellam therinja nee kuda, ethu enna break pannumnu therinju athaye eppadi pannuna? Antha aal sonnathuku iruntha mariyatha kuda en mela illa ya Sivaangi? Avlo thaana naan unnaku? How do I survive this? Tell me.
(I have never disclosed to anyone about what it felt like to be orphaned as a teenager. I don't like to play victim to gain any anyone's pity. But despite knowing what will break me, you did just that? You decided to go with his words and chose not to believe me? Is that all I am to you? How do I survive this?)

Sivaangi wept hard, clutching her heart as she realised the extent of her stupidity and its consequences.

A: I needed you to be that one person who will always be there for me. To never give up on me. To trust me without a question. To love me unconditionally. Truly, forever. But you..

S: Ashwin, don't! I beg you. Please don't do this to us.

She held her palms together, literally begging him.

A: Sivaangi, you are irreplaceable in my life. But I can't do this now. I need time. I don't know how long but please don't try to reach me until then. Bye.

She felt like he was passing on his pain and hurt to her. He walked out of the room, leaving her alone and broken.

How was it?

Note: It is not easy for an emotionally broken man to take betrayal lightly. He will come around and she will win his heart again. Reconciliation between the couple is inevitable! So I ask my lovely readers to be patient. Go with the flow and I hope you enjoy the story going forward.

Love xoxo