Sivaangi was engrossed in getting her perfect shot of the Milky way.

S: Ashwin?

A: Hmm?

S: Ashwinnnn!

Ashwin was lying on the blanket next to her, reading his book with his tiny reading light when he felt her hand on his abs over his tshirt. He left his open book upside down, turned to his side and propped himself up on his elbow.

A: Yenna ma?

(What is it?)

S: Ennakku oru water body reflection la Milky way photo edukanum. Pakathula ore oru tree illati oru windmill irukanum. Just imagine that, sounds picture perfect illa?

(I want to take a picture of the Milky way with a water reflection. Would be nicer if there a lone tree or a windmill in the picture. Just imagine that, sounds picture perfect right?)

A: Seri ma, polaam.

(Sure I will take you)

S: Eppo?

(When?)

A: Nee oru place and best time paathu sollu, kootitu poren.

(Name the place and best time to do it, I will take you)

Sivaangi hmmed and went back to focussing on her picture unaware of the pair of eyes watching her.

Plato said 'At the touch of love, every man becomes a poet' and the man here is madly in love with this beautiful girl and, poetry was flowing in his head like a beautiful rhythm. 

As his eyes traced her silhouette, his heart was beating with no guilt for another man's to be wife and as each minute passed, the love for her was casting a dark shadow over his heart. He had vowed to make her his but he was battling his emotions as he witnessed her interactions with her fiancé.

An hour later, as he turned pages he felt her stretching herself comfortably next to him. He put his book away and slid his arm under her head for her to rest. They were both quiet as they gazed at the stars and she pointed out a constellation that she had spotted.

S: I am loving this. You never make fun of my love for photography. I don't know why Tarun gets annoyed. I know he isn't interested in it but I hate it when he looks down at me. He is a nice person but I don't like his biased ideas.

Ashwin stiffened at the mention of Tarun. 

Do you have to bring him up when I am enjoying my alone time with you?

S: I don't like tennis, and I am not a big fan of the luxury boys only trips he makes with the members of his tennis club. But I don't even comment on it, do I? Why can't he do the same? Sometimes it feels like he is trying to change the person I am. He imposes his opinions on me.

Ashwin stayed quiet while she ranted about how he degrades her likes and interests.

S: Am I bitching about my to be husband behind his back?

A: You aren't gossiping. This is how you feel and you are sharing it with me. It is perfectly normal.

S: Hmm.

With their dreams of a perfect partner and a beautiful life long forgotten in the tranquillity of the night, they watched the silent twinkles of the stars and she moved closer to lay her head on his chest with her arm around his waist. He found it hard to breath at the sudden proximity.

S: Have you always enjoyed star gazing?

A: Yes. Amma kita irunthu vantha pazhakam. It is incredible isn't it? It instigates a sense of awe and calm in me.

(Yes. A habit I have inherited from mum. It is incredible isn't it? It instigates a sense of awe and calm in me)

Sivanagi watched the longing on his face at the mention of his mum and she gripped his hand in hers.

S: Amma va miss panaraya?

(Do you miss your mum?)

A: Amma used to take me on road trips. We would camp and watch the stars together. Amma nyabagam varapo ellam, naan thaniya oru long drive poi engayavathu camp pannuven.

(She used to take me on road trips. We would camp and watch the stars together. Whenever her memories haunt me, I just go on a long drive and camp. All alone.)

S: Ashwin, you know you can talk to me right? You are always there for me, don't you think that I would so the same for you? 

Ashwin sighed. He wanted to tell her. She was the only one he had felt this close to after his mum.

A: Do I miss her? I used to miss her physical presence. But I realised that she is part of my life, part of me. I am what I am because of her. Her memories and, all that she has told me and taught me has made me the man I am today. At 14, I was in a vulnerable state, so it made me cry whenever I missed her. I did not know of a life without her. I was stepping into my teens and for 2 years after she left, my life was a complete mess.

It is now 16 years since she left this world. The guiding hand and the constant love was something I missed in the initial days. But I moved on. Life has to go on right. I don't really talk about her to anyone but that doesn't mean I am over it. I really wish my mum was alive.

She moved up to recline on her side to watch his face. He was clutching her palm over his chest. His eyes were glued to the dark starry skies and he looked so calm in spite of his rough past. She decided to wait and see if he would open up to talk more about it. But he stayed quiet and she let him hold her hand if it gave him any consolation.

Meanwhile, her mind was having a monologue about her own feelings for this man. She remembered the day she met him first.

It was 3 years ago, a 22 year Sivaangi fresh out of college stepped in the huge organization for her first proper job feeling all excited and nervous at the same time. Despite a masters in business administration, she choose to do a job that made her happy, something that she found meaningful and felt it was for a good cause. She isn't in it for money and she did not care if the world thought that she was one of those privileged kids who was into charity to make it look cool.

When she began work, she met everyone in the team and the last person she was introduced to was Ashwin. He was introduced as the head and as he held out his big hand to shake her tiny hand, he gave her one of his warm smiles which won her heart the very second. Who wouldn't be?! Everyone loved Ashwin. He is kind, compassionate, super fun and affable. Outside of his work related meetings, he is a very laidback, and a friendly team leader. He is called Mr Dependable at work because he was totally approachable and people truly loved his aura.

She always wondered why a man who sounded like a product of the Oxbridge league of colleges and blessed with a good business acumen was involved in corporate social responsibility. Took her a few months before he told her that he is the sole heir to the family run conglomerate but he wasn't interested in inheriting it. He avoided mentioning it to people. There is a long backstory to that!

Ashwin and Sivaangi had become best friends in a very short period. She admired him for a lot of reasons. He was an extrovert while she was a shy person. Of course, he is versatile. He was like these hunks described in novels and movies. An amazing guitarist, singer, a public speaker and so many other things. He was surrounded by people who were smitten by his tremendous charisma. He hated it but women drooled over his hot bod.

Sivaangi was fascinated by how women at work openly flirted and threw themselves on him with no shame whatsoever. She liked Ashwin but she has never been interested in love so she did not find herself falling in that category of women who wanted to get into this man's bed.

Saying all that, she found herself confused with her own feelings lately. She tried to shut the memories of that one day from her mind.

Ashwin was staring at the skies when he heard a soft snore and turned his head to find her adorable sleeping form with her leg hugging his knees. Her lips were parted and he really wanted to kiss her but he wasn't a pervert to kiss a woman who trusted him enough to sleep in his arms. He touched her cute nose with his finger tip and then lifted her head to remove his arm, and then made her comfortable on the blanket while he went back to the tent to get the sleeping bag ready for her.

He carried her back to the tent and then went back to pack her camera and the rest of the equipment. She was struggling to get out of the sleeping bag when he came back.

A: Yenna ma aachu?

(What's wrong?)

S: Ennaku sleeping bag vendam. It is a very warm night.

(I don't want the sleeping bag. It is a very warm night)

She kneeled down and rolled the bag away.

A: Listen to me. It will get really cold in the night.

S: I can't sleep in the sleeping bag now. I will get back in if and when I feel cold.

A: Seri okay, use this blanket then. Lie down. I will tuck you in.

S: Am I a baby?

A: Illaya? Konja neram minnadi, yaar cute ah teddy bear maara snore pannunathu?

(Aren't you one? What was that sound earlier ? Like a cute teddy bear's soft snoring?)

S: I don't snore. It is not ladylike to snore, so don't make it up to make me look bad.

Sivaangi looked embarrassed making Ashwin kneel down to her height to hug her.

A: Kutty baby snore panara maara irunthuchu, romba cute nee.

(You looked so cute, like a newborn softly snoring)

She hid her face in his chest, rubbing her nose on his tshirt and inhaling his scent as he squeezed her. The sense of familiarity in his arms scared her.

She felt a tiny bit sad that he had no ulterior moves and it was just a genuine, comforting hug. But she failed to notice the myriad of emotions on his face as she rubbed her face on his chest.

She exhaled and moved away reluctantly. She was too quiet when she lied on the blanket and turned her back to face him so he wouldn't notice the confusion on her face.

A: Thoongu ma. I will put the rest of the things in the car and be back.

Sridhar: Sivaangi, it is not about you. Don't you see? My son can't marry any girl!

S: You are lying.

She stood there, her heart broken into a million pieces.

Sridhar: Why would I? He is my only son, don't you think I want him to settle with someone and have kids? He needs a family after me. But this is the truth.

S: What family are you talking about? You have not been much of a family, have you?

Sridhar gritted his teeth at her sarcasm but he was at fault and this wasn't the place to discuss his shortcomings.

S: You know what! I can speak to Ashwin myself. I don't need your permission for that. You might be his father and the boss of this place, but you are nothing to me. Fire me if you want to, but I don't have to put up with your BS! 

Sivaangi swallowed down her anger as she strode out of the room only to be stopped in her tracks as she heard the booming voice.

Sridhar: You want him dead, don't you? If you ask him, and if he feels devastated that I told you, be prepared to face his reaction.

S: He is a strong man and I don't believe you. I want him to tell me that he is incapable of marrying me.

Sridhar: Well, go ahead. I can't stop you. But if anything happens to him, hold yourself responsible for it. 

Sivaangi woke up covered in cold sweat. She touched her cheeks and found it wet. She had an overwhelming grief that made her cry involuntarily. She was panting for breath as she grabbed her bottle of water and drank it in one go. The recurring nightmare! Again! She has lost sleep over that for almost a year now. 

It isn't a nightmare, this is the reality. 

She turned to her right to find the man responsible for her racing heart sleeping peacefully. She needed to feel close to him. It was an impulsive decision but she crawled into his large sleeping bag and he instantly moved to pull her close to his body. She felt the heat from his body transfer to hers and she found herself surrounded by his smell as she breathed him in and snuggled closer. She placed a kiss on his jaws even though her mind screamed inappropriate behaviour. She did not care anymore. Especially when he was right here during one of her nightmares.

Fk it! I need this. I want to live this moment.

She slept well for the first time since her confrontation with Ashwin's dad who had found out about her mild interest in his son. Took her a few months to come to terms with the facts he had disclosed. She decided to get married to someone of her parents' choice just so she can stay away from Ashwin. She had grown to love Tarun but there was this confusion about what Ashwin's dad had to say about his son.  She couldn't believe that man but she was scared to ask Ashwin. 

She knew she had a lot of questions to answer the next morning but she did not care. She has craved for this for months now and she was being selfish to take what she thought was rightfully hers.

How was it?

Have been busy lately but I will write a longer chapter next time xx