Damon was sleeping on the couch, when I sneaked out the next morning. Bonnie had tried talking to me all of last night, but was impressively ignored by me. If she was going to betray me, then I wasn't going to pretend that it was okay to save her feelings. Matt, ever the peacemaker, tried persuading me to talk to her, but he should've known it wouldn't have worked. Another Gilbert family trait passed down to me by my father; Gilbert's are known for being extremely stubborn.

Anyway, I crept out of Poppy's apartment with a beach towel, in a small blue bikini and short denim shorts.

I love nothing more than hunting out a quiet, empty spot on the beach, lay my towel on the golden sand, and soak in the sun's rays.

I laid down on my fluffy blue towel, and think to myself.

Damon thought that he was off the hook. I'd told him we were going to be friends with benefits, but that was far from the truth. I was going to initiate the 'Month of Abuse'. I was going to be subtle about it, you know, I'm going to continue ignoring Bonnie, and casually hurt Damon without him realising it. You know, casually lacing his bourbon with vervain.

He was in for the worst month of his life. Stupid, stupid vampire think he can walk out on me and then I'll still sleep with him afterwards. What an idiot.

Dollar for your thoughts? Stefan's voice crept into my  head.

Hey! We haven't hung out in a while, come and join me at the beach...alone. Can't handle anyone else at this moment in time. I replied, smiling. It was true, I hadn't hung out with Stefan, just me and him since I don't know how long. It could be awkward at first, but I was insistent that we could be just friends.

"Dollar for your thoughts?" Stefan's voice said from beside me. He wasn't wearing anything but his board shorts.

"Damon's a bastard, Bonnie's a bitch, life sucks and then you're undead." I replied, smiling slightly at him, without looking at him.

"Life isn't so bad. I'm thinking of asking Lexi to go to dinner with me tomorrow night. That's okay, right?"

"Stefan, sweetie, I gave up any right I had to you two years ago. You're as free as a bird, so you take her out. She's pretty much in love with you anyway, bud." I said, nudging his shoulder with my own.

He nudged me back, and we just laughed for no apparent reason. We were really just friends, not awkward at all, and that made me happy. We did love each other once, and we probably always will love each other, but now at least we loved each other the right way, the way we were always supposed to love each other. Even if Damon is a colossal douche, I still loved that massive screw-up, and I was his forever. I'll get over this sometime in the future, but until then, I was still going to torture the moron.

"Let's go swimming, I've had enough of moping about. I'll race you to the water...at human speed. And may the best woman win!" I said, jumping up and racing away. I could hear him laughing as he followed me, probably letting me win.

The water was warm against my skin, and I waded out until I was waist height, and waited for Stefan there.

"Slowcoach. God, are you feeling your age or something?" I teased him.

"I'm the same age as you, kid." He joked, ducking out of reach of my fist.

"Sorry for not being born at the same time as my great-great-great-great to how many generations grandparents. Then maybe we'd be the same age wouldn't we, old timer?"

Flirting with Stefan? That's low, even for you.

I'm no flirting with him, Damon, we're having a friendly conversation. He's finally over me, Damon. You should be celebrating, sweetheart. Break open that bottle of bourbon, you're probably eyeing.

If he's over you, then my left ass cheek will be the next Queen of bloody England.

Ew, I wouldn't want to lick that postage stamp. I thought to myself.

Yeah you would.

Think how awkward it would be trying to find a hand to shake when you meet her. It would bring a whole new meaning to brown nosing. I joked. And I could hear his laughter. I laughed out loud, knowing Stefan could hear our conversation, but still getting his weirdest weird look.

"You're right, Elena. You two are perfect for each other. You're both freaks." Stefan laughed.

Hear that? I asked Damon.

Yeah.

Doesn't mean I'm not still furious at you, or Bonnie. I'm still not talking properly to either of you!

Tell what I can do to make it up to you? I'm dying here.

Watch the entire Twilight series with me, and then read the books, and write an essay on how our relationship is ten times better than Edward and Bella's, and it has to be ten thousand words long.

Done.

It better be, and then I'll think about forgiving you. I replied.

I'll get right on it.

Good, well me and Stefan are having a 'friends day' at the beach, so I'll ignore you later tonight!

Have fun, but not too much fun.

Whatever, old man. Don't break your wrist writing that essay.

Little did he know that the glass of bourbon he was about to drink would incapacitate him for a couple of hours. Sometime a little evil isn't so bad.