ᴅᴀᴢᴇᴅ

"...i knew where i was going every time that i'd kissed ya"

[hospital monitor beeping]

For the times the she had her consciousness, which was at least every other minute, all emori could think about was: what the fuck just happened because her memory of the party became absolute shit.

But to her surprise, she vividly remembered that she saw ashtray, she couldn't remember how exactly but, he was all she could think about, without her head hurting at least.

Now because her mind was so fucked up, a memory, random to say the least, occurred so many times.
It was a memory of about two years ago, when she was about eleven...

[monitor beep fading away]

~flashback~

Emori plugged her headphones into her phone, then forced her foot into her pastel green and pink roller skates, her strawberry socks peeping through the ends.

"Hey, where you off to? we're not staying long, have some quality time with your uncle zi" mom told her, dusting her hands on some old jeans she wore

"Mom, i'm just getting some stuff. i won't be long" emori told her, opening the garage door

"Oh? stuff? with what money?" mom teased, leaning on the wall as she fiddled with her bright  red curls

"Um...i saved from...babysitting!" emori blurted out

"...Your brothers money?" mom assumed, crossing her arms

"You know me so well, ma" emori said, chuckling as she left the porch

"Be safe!" she said, waving goodbye to her daughter as she departed

"SADÈ, COME OVER HERE..." a deep voice, too far for emori to determine, called for her mother

[cant stop staring at the sun by patrick watson playing through the headphones]

Emori looked up at the pink sunset as she skated across the rode, cancelling every disturbance in the world out, it was just her and her music.

"And I knew where I was going every time that I'd kissed ya" the song continued to play

"Em" a faint voice said, so soft that emori thought it was part of the song, "em!"

Still nothing.

"EMORI" the voice made her jump and lose her balance on her rollerskates.
she restored her balance, then removed her headphones.

"I had to stop my music for you, better be fucking worth it, seb" emori told the boy who now stood in front of her, blocking her path

"Do me a favor, tell your brother i want my fucking money" sebastian said, fiddling with his sweater

"You can go tell him your fucking self, we'll be here the whole weekend. and i'm busy" emori told him

"Busy? with what?" he stood in front of her, blocking her path once again

"None of your fucking concern, that's for sure" emori rollerskated around him and left, fixing her golden brown curls

"Hey, hey wait! you shouldn't be out here on your own" seb said, running to her

"Seb, what do you want?" she chuckled

"I just...i haven't seen you much lately, why'd you stop visiting your uncle as much?" he asked

"I swear, if you're trying to make fucking small talk with--"

"--Nah nah...i'm just...curious" seb defended

"...Family issues are being...sorted out. that's all i can say" Em eventually admitted, excited to see the gas station nearby so this conversation would end

"With your dad and shit?"
she nodded

"He's still a fucking psycho?" seb teased

"That's not fucking funny seb! GOD" emori scolded, trying not to laugh, as she took her roller skates off and got doggy slippers out

"WHAT IM BEING HONEST" he defended, snickering as she shook her head

"Now do me a favor, hold these" she dumped her roller skates on him and fast walked to the gas station, ignoring seb's bickering in the background

The effect of seb's voice distorting away somehow brought emori half-back to reality, mostly because she started to see a bright light above her, and looked down, seeing the hospital band around her wrist. She had little strength nor motivation to keep herself awake, going back to continue with this reoccuring memory of hers, now confused on which one was reality or memory...

...The shop bell dinged as emori aggressively opened the door.

The bright light of the hospital soon faded away, allowing her to see every detail of her memory, it was pretty amazing to her, even if it mightve been wildly innacurate, for example, in reality, there was someone standing at the door, but she must've missed that detail for it to make sense..

"Yo...emori, that you?" fezco said, walking to her to dab her up.

"Wassup fez, been a fuckin minute, huh" she put put her hands in the backpockets of her denim skirt

"What brings you backhere?" he asked, organizing one of the isles

"Other than our dad being a fucking bitch, just visiting zi" she told him, scanning the store for what she came to get

"Oh, send my regards, ye?" he said, before leaving the isle

Emori smiled, before grabbing some snacks. she grabbed lays, some gummy sweets and fruity cheerios.
She went to put them on the counter, "Yo, i gotta fetch one more thing, i'll be back" she said, heading for the fridge

"No problem" fez told her, rhytymicly tapping his fingers on the counter

Emori walked past the snack isle, immediately seeing a boy with tats on his face, sitting on the freezer for the ice lolys

"Yo, cigarette!" she mocked after sighing

"No fuckin way. emily!" ashtray teased, smiling at her

"Emori."

"Emori, been a fuckin minute, how can i help you on this fine day?" ashtray mocked

"Could you get off that for a second? i want some ice cream"

Ashtray looked at her, then looked down to see where he was seated at, then looked back up at her.
"Hmm...not sure these are for sale, i'm afraid" he said, kissing his teeth and squinting his eyes

"...Cmon ash, quit fucking around" emori walked closer to him, "it's right fucking there, under your ass" she pointed down at the cold glass

"Mmm...nehh, i'm good" he teased, before he looked at her unconvinced facial expressions

"Ash, MOVE" she commanded

"Fucking make me!" he continued, staring into her eyes as he did that tongue thingy with his mouth
They had a staring contest for a moment, before emori gave up, scoffing

"FINE THEN, FUCK THE FUCKING ICE CREAM" she stormed off, back to the till

Fez chuckled when he saw her pissed of face, already knowing what happened.

"I should get fucking used to this bullshit, by now. i have no idea how you do it" she said, getting money from her bag and putting it on the table

"Sorry for the inconvenience, i guess" fez continued to put the snacks in a bag before hearing squeeking noises coming from behind.

It was fucking ashtray, walking to the counter, with the magnum ice cream in his hands.

"GOD, thank you, finally." she turned to ashtray, getting more money from her bag

"Nah nah, i'll spot you" ashtray told her, getting cash out of his pocket

"deadass?" she asked, unconvinced

"Ye, anything for you princess" ash said

"What the fuck" she chuckled, "okay then" she saw that he was serious, "how'd you know to get get this flavor?"

"Lucky guess" he winked at her, making her furrow her eyebrows in confusion, then turned to fez

"Whatever the fuck this is, leave me out of it" fez said as he added the total then gave her the change

Emori giggled, then looked at ashtray who was doing his tough boy face.
"Well...bye" she waved at fez, "thanks, by the way"

Ashtray just nodded
Emori walked out of the store super weirded out by her interaction with ash

"Whatever the fuck that was" she said to herself as she walked away

"RIGHT?, FUCKING WEIRDOS THEY ARE, GOD" a girl with big curly hair, standing in the corner said, before sniffing some drug
Emori jumped and chuckled at how bizarre that was

"...I'm rue, by the way" she said, trying to fix herself

"...Emori...emori leroy" she soon said, "well, i gotta go, so—"

"—Oh that's...cool cool cool. Nice to meet ya" she said in a funny voice, before aggresively sniffing.
Emori smiled, then fast walked to the grass on the side of the road, seeing seb waiting for her.

"Tell me that wasn't the weirdest interaction i've had all day" she said to seb, opening the packet of the magnum ice cream.

Seb just chuckled, "Your mom called. I am now invited to this...barbeque thing you guys are having"

Then accompanied his best friends sister safely to her uncle's house. slowly fading back to reality...

~end of flashback~

[monitor beeping]

"Is she gonna be okay?" a distorted voice asked, she assumed it was either zi or oscar.

"...Let's find out" someone, who emori assumed to be the doctor, said, before abruptly flashing a light in her face, making her furrow her eyebrows and squint, "Yup...she's perfectly fine..." he said, before blabbing around about the usual doctor shit.

Now ideally, there was nothing significant about this memory, not as much. But as the memory kept repeating itself, she gradually started to realize how surprisingly effective those pills were, with her pain. but also, she was reminded of how this memory was one of few normal interactions with her mother...

AUTORS NOTE:

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