Renjun

"Je?"

He's frozen in place, eyes unmoving from the person in front of him.

It's been three years since last they saw each other and somehow all the words leave him.

Not a day went by that Jeno didn't cross his mind. Not a day went by that he didn't think of him and yet happiness is not what he feels. If it had been three years ago, they would have run up to each other and engulfed each other in the tightest of hugs, no matter how long it had been since they saw each other. Renjun would have ran up and koala hugged him and not let go. He would have nestled his head into the crook of Jeno's neck. He would have felt at home.

All he feels now is nostalgia.

That and a spark of recognition. Three years may not have been that long ago, but for them it might as well be an eternity.

An eternity in which Jeno seemed to have changed. Renjun checks boxes in his head as he takes Jeno in. Weight loss? Check. Dark circles under his eyes? Check. Bonier face? Check. Unkempt hair? Check. Closed off? Check. New, darker hair colour? Check. A genuinely dishevelled mess? Check.

"Huang Renjun."

He looks as surprised as Renjun is. Clearly neither expected to run into anyone here.

Renjun's lips tug into a smirk. "Full name basis, are we?" He teases. It's an automatic response. The same way calling him 'Je' instead of 'Jeno' came out like a reflex. It was out before he had a chance to stop himself and come to his senses. "What brings you here?"

"Visiting," Jeno says simply, squaring his shoulders. His eyes flicker to the grave where Renjun is standing for a brief moment before he meets his again. "And what about you?"

"Nothing you need to worry your pretty little head over."

He's visiting too. It's no a secret, so he doesn't know why he's keeping it to himself. Not that he needs to tell Jeno why he's here. Jeno doesn't need to know that Renjun's been checking to make sure the flowers by the grave were always fresh ones or that the red ribbon stayed around the tree. He doesn't need to know that Renjun makes sure the stone is clean and the weeds around it are always taken care of.

He knew the blue ribbon was Jeno's doing. Let's call it a feeling.

Clearing his throat, Renjun moves toward Jeno. He can't stand here forever when he's got places to be.

Jeno doesn't blink, doesn't move as Renjun closes the distance between them. Before he can pass, he comes to a brief standstill. He lifts his hand to Jeno's shoulder and murmurs a soft happy birthday.

Just as quickly as he stopped, he's on the move again.

Heading to his car and sliding into the driver's seat, it takes all of his will power to stop himself from looking back. A lot more effort not to hit the wheel with his fist. With an exaggerated sigh, he pulls out his phone and dials a number.

"Hello?"

"Hey. You busy?"

There's a slight pause before the person on the other end responds. "The place is empty if you want to come through."

He ends the call and starts driving. His hands barely have a grip on the wheel and he's silently pleading to make it to the destination before he loses his grip and steers himself into a light post or something.

The rain is still going, and he's still wet after standing by that damn grave for so long. His emotions are topping the charts, he notes, as he pulls into the parking lot. Renjun stays in the car, eyes closed, and head tilted back. He takes a moment for himself. A moment to control everything flaming inside.

It's all because of Lee Jeno.

Three years without a trace and now they bump into each other. At Jaemin's grave of all places. How's that for karma?

Renjun pulls himself together just enough so that when he passes through the doors of the bar, Minghao won't immediately make a comment. Sitting himself down at the bar rather than the tables, he looks around at the little place. It's like a western-themed bar with its hardwood floors, wooden tables all around the left side of the room and a dance floor to the right. The actual bar itself was located at the other end of the room and it could only take up to five people. The place was practically empty except for a couple occupying the table near the bathrooms closer to the front window. Turning his attention forward, he eyes the drinks as he tries to decide what to order.

"Rough day?"

Turning his head slightly right, he catches Minghao coming out through the doors that lead to the kitchen. He's wiping off a glass. Today he's got a nirvana muscle top on, his apron wrapped around the waist, just below the group name and his hair is gelled to the left revealing the ear full of piercings on his right side. He definitely looks like an anime character, Renjun thinks as he watches him.

"You could say. Can I get a lighter?"

"You can't smoke here."

"So, give me a lighter and we'll smoke outside."

Minghao rolls his eyes but nevertheless pulls one from his pocket before handing it over. Jumping off his seat, Renjun makes his way out the back with Minghao hot on his trail. There's an employee only parking lot in the back which is used by Minghao alone. The manager parks across the way because the security gives them free parking and the other employees all take public transport. Minghao complains about it a lot because half the time he has to wait for them to get there to trade shifts (yet they still proceed to take later times than the ones that could get them here twenty minutes earlier. Renjun thinks its bullshit. Minghao agrees.)

Renjun crouches down while Minghao leans his back against the wall.

"Do you have a spare?"

Renjun side eyes him. "You run out?"

"Jihoon was stressed, so I was stressed. Smoked an extra today. I'll make it up."

Taking the box out of his pocket, Renjun extracts two cigarettes and hands one over to his friend. Slipping one between his lips, he pockets the box while leaning forward so Minghao can light it for him. Renjun's eyes flutter closed, nimble fingers taking the cigarette to rest between them as he exhales a cloud of smoke along with a sigh of relief.

He catches Minghao looking at him.

Xu Minghao and he go way back. When Renjun was a first year, roaming around the campus like a lost soul, he ran into Minghao. He'd slipped and asked for directions in Chinese and when Minghao responded, they sort of clicked. After that there was a series of events that made Minghao one of the very few people Renjun trusted. The smoking was something they caught onto together, mostly because of everything life had been throwing them at the time. Their mutual friend, Junhui, consistently told them off for doing something so dumb and continues reminding them they could die if they continued this way. Minghao assured him he would stop. Renjun always stayed silent.

"Want to talk about it?" Minghao asks, blowing out his own cloud of smoke.

"Not particularly."

"So, what's the hint? How many words?"

It was their code of sorts. When Renjun didn't want to speak about something but used the words 'not particularly' it meant there was something he wanted to mention from it all. Just to get it off his chest. Minghao caught on eventually and added the amount of words thing on his own.

"Two words. A name, actually."

Minghao looks surprised. Eyes widening, he actually stops with the cigarette for a second as he waits for Renjun's response eagerly. Renjun throws him a look.

"Lee Jeno."