Two Years Ago

Dr. Lee watched Eli carefully. The young man's head lulled to the side, his eyelids were weighed down, begging for sleep. "How are Derek and Mateo doing?" He asked after a long silence. Eli blinked slowly. "Fine, I guess."

Eli didn't mind his new roommates. They were all former live ins who now shared a tiny apartment in the city, and none of them talked much. It was Mrs. M who'd paired them up, as they had 'similar backgrounds'.

"And the apartment?"

"The same." Eli shrugged. He was exhausted, annoyed that he was even still making the trips all the way to the therapist every week. Between two jobs and two roommates, Eli hadn't read a single book in the last year.

Not that he had any extra money lying around to buy a book.

"I see you're still not sleeping." Dr. Lee commented, and Eli nodded slightly. Of course he wasn't sleeping. At night- the only time he had completely alone- his thoughts were ambushed by Audrey.

Every detail, every word she'd ever said to him was etched into his brain, and he'd run out of new things to remember before he slept. So he didn't sleep. She was a constellation. But, even constellations have limits.

"You're too inside your head. You're thinking too much again." Dr. Lee scolded, though Eli wasn't sure what he was meant to do about it. "I'm going to write you a new prescription." Dr. Lee nodded to himself, satisfied with his decision, "In the meantime, I have an idea."

Dr. Lee pushed his square glasses up the bridge of his nose as he wrote on his pad, "I think you need to start writing your thoughts down again. It's unhealthy to keep it all trapped inside. If you write things down, they won't keep swimming around in your head. Maybe you'll even sleep."

Eli was too tired to refute, and left Dr. Lee's office that evening ready to give it a shot. He was still determined to get better. And he was so close, he could feel it.

Within two months he'd written himself inside and out of his old journal, and started a new one. And after that, he spilled into another, and another.

Until every word he'd said, every word he hadn't, and every single thing he remembered about Audrey was scrawled across a thousand pages in permanent ink.

****

"Mom, Eli and I are going out!" Audrey called, already halfway out the door.

"Whoa, whoa, where are you going?" Angie bustled out of the kitchen and towards them, acting as if Audrey was still a child. "Swimming." Audrey said quietly, and Eli bit his tongue as he glanced at Angie.

"But, you can't-" Angie started, already shrill, and Audrey rolled her eyes. "Mom, it's okay. Eli will be there." She rushed out of the door, excitement bubbling. She wouldn't let her Mom take this away from her.

Angie turned to Eli. "She can't swim." She said, pleading eyes boring into his. 

"I've got her." He said reassuringly. Angie took in a breath and nodded, an odd relief filling her lungs. She watched as they left, but ultimately didn't feel the constant nerves she usually felt when Audrey went off to do something without her. 

****

"When my class had swimming lessons I had to watch from the kiddie pool." Audrey reminisced, her voice flecked with overwhelming excitement. She couldn't believe Eli had suggested this. She knew he would be conscious of his scars, but he was doing it for her. No one else had offered. No one else believed she could do it.

"And when I was older my friends would go in the wave pool and I'd sit in the hot tub." She grinned despite the sadness of her memory. "This is gonna be fun."

"As long as you don't drown." Eli said, watching the happiness ripple through her body with a contented smile. He could watch her infectious grin forever.

"Yes, that would be bad." Audrey giggled. Her phone buzzed and she poked Eli's arm. "Can you check that?"

"It's from your Mom. She says to be back by five for dinner." Eli read, and Audrey sighed but nodded. "Fair enough." She shrugged, "Grandma's probably doing her famous casserole tonight. She always makes casserole when a special guest comes over."

****

Audrey's fists bunched up as she watched the wave pool. Uncomfortable, she crossed her arms to cover her exposed midsection. It had been a while since she'd been to the pool, and the bikini's they offered at the front desk weren't exactly varied. 

She looked around nervously for Eli. Her excitement had gotten her this far, but quickly disappeared when she saw the waves rise and fall, the signs and the warnings. She couldn't take another step without Eli. 

When he appeared, she let out a relieved sigh. He walked over to her, arms crossed in the same fashion as her. Her nose scrunched up as he stopped beside her. "What's with you?" He asked. Audrey glanced at him, "This is a little too much exposure for me, is all." She whispered, mindful of the kids running around her. 

"Tell me about it." Eli replied. 

Audrey smiled and unfolded her arms. She took his arm and pulled it towards her. Holding her scarred left hand up for him to see, she said, "We match." And pressed the side of her hand to his wrist. "We don't need to worry about it, right?" 

"Right." Eli responded immediately, and Audrey grabbed his hand, squeezing it quickly. He tried not to look too much at her, though she was stunning. With her tanned skin and her bright smile and perfect figure... Averting his eyes, he instead took the lead and pulled her into the wave pool. He, of course, didn't realize that she was in the same predicament, trying not to look too much at him. 

Audrey's heart beat faster and faster as the cool water tickled her toes and nipped at her legs. She held on to Eli's hand tighter, so tight in fact, that she was convinced she must be hurting him. Eli stopped when the water reached her waist, and Audrey stood there, all nerves, waves almost touching her shoulders. 

"This is swimming?" 

"Not swimming exactly." Eli replied with a small smile, and Audrey laughed at herself. Right, not swimming. She liked how the waves pulled her up a little as they passed by, as if they wanted her so desperately to come with them. 

"Is this what the ocean is like?" She asked, twirling her free hand around in the water and watching it. The water tinted her hand blue, distorted it. And it was so pretty. Her eyes moved to her other hand, grasped on to Eli's under the water. Different, but still them. 

"Kind of." Eli responded, making her look up, "I like the ocean better. I'll take you some day." Audrey chewed on her bottom lip as she considered this. "If you want." He added, nervous of her quietness. 

"I'd like that." Audrey said in a small voice. She looked around, excited again. She felt like she could fly away, she was so elated. And yet his hand was right there, keeping her grounded. Keeping her safe. "Let's go deeper." 

"You can't swim." 

"You've got me, right?" 

"Yeah," Eli gripped her hand tighter, "I've got you." 

****

"Five missed calls from my Mom." Audrey said, shivering as she turned the key to the ignition. Of course, she was soaked. After getting to the deep end she ended up scared and on Eli's back, legs wrapped around his waist. 

Deciding to face her fears, and not feeling as though she even had much to fear, Audrey let go and suddenly pushed off of his back, splashing backwards into the water. 

Eli had panicked and quickly dove down to get her. Once he'd pulled her up and to the railing, he pushed the hair away from her face, scared she might not be able to breathe. But, Audrey had beamed up at him. "I love swimming." She'd said, causing Eli to laugh incredulously, stunned and amazed. 

"Here, turn the heating up." Eli suggested as Audrey continued to shiver, the brisk winter air not helping her wet hair situation. Audrey held her quivering hands up to the heating vents, the brightest of smiles plastered on her face. 

Eli pushed his own wet hair back. "Are you breathing okay?" He asked, still concerned about the cold and the over excitement impacting her lungs and heart.  

"Yes," Audrey looked at him pointedly, "You?" 

They sat in comfortable silence the whole way home, The Kinks melancholy sound flowing through the heated air, and only peace flowing between the two of them. Audrey could feel her hair getting frizzy, and Eli could feel his skin drying from the chlorine. Yet neither of them wanted to get out of the car. 

Before Audrey reached the door, it opened. Her Mother's worried face appeared, and she looked between them with a gulp. "Audrey, I tried to call-" 

"We aren't late, Mom." Audrey said, stepping inside to escape the cold. 

"No, it's not that-" Angie started again, but was cut off. 

"Hey, babe." Jack stood up from his seat at the edge of the couch and stepped towards her. He looked over to Eli, who'd just walked through the door, "Hi, Eli." 

((In case anyone was wondering where Jack was... As we all know, he's a very avid texter and caller when it comes to Audrey. All will be revealed.  Any thoughts on what will happen next?? Thank you for all this lovely support!! xxx Tia))