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十一 hesitation


You were 17 at the time.

It had almost been a full year since you ran away.

Traveling alone.

You were on an island in the South Blue running from a group of marines.

You shoved a group of people out of your way in the middle of the town as you sprinted.

You were weaving your way through the crowd of people desperately trying to lose the group of marines.

And suddenly you ran directly into someone.

Hard.

Nearly knocking you to the ground.

But the person grabbed your wrist to keep you from falling.

Your body jolted as your eyes fell on the person.

He was a boy.

He was tall, had white hair and soft brown eyes.

He immediately spoke, "Sorry-"

But you didn't have time.

You yanked your wrist from his grip and continued running toward the edge of town.

You heard marines shouting in the distance, as you picked up your pace and then quickly turned down an alleyway.

As soon as you got to the end of it, you rounded the corner and stopped yourself as you caught your breath with your back against the wall of the building.

You were panting.

Trying to focus if you could hear marines.

But suddenly, someone came flying through the alley way, nearly falling flat on their face.

You tensed as you thought it was a marine but you finally made out the person to be...

The boy from earlier?

Had he followed you?

Who cares? You didn't have time.

The marines were coming.

You heard shouts.

And sure enough 5 marines came flying around the corner weapons in hand.

Fighting the marines was a blur, but the next thing you knew the boy was helping you fight them off and the two of you were running towards your boat with reinforcement on your tails.

You heard more shouts as you frantically climbed into your boat, setting sail as fast as you possibly could.

Soon you were drifting from the shore line and the island was shrinking being you.

You two were panting from the fight and running.

Both watching as the island disappeared.

You didn't know how long you had been staring off when you heard him speak.

"Shiina Mikami."

You turned to look at him, surprised at first hat he knew your name.

How did he- Who were you kidding.

Of course he knew your name.

It was still fresh on the news that you had run away.

"Just Shiina is fine."

He looked at you like he had seen a ghost.

You rose an eyebrow.

"And you are?"

He swallowed hard as he looked at you.

"Sora."

"Sora Kiyama."


Your eyes flickered open slowly.

You were still clutching the pillow tightly.

"You're finally up."

You nearly punted the pillow away from your body when you heard someone else's voice.

How embarrassing.

You rolled over to see Clione standing cleaning one of the shelves as he turned to look at you.

"You've got a few things on the agenda for today."

You sighed,

"How wonderful."

He let out a slight laugh as he continued to speak and clean,

"The captain has given you a list of tasks to do. Just some minor things to help out around the ship since he says you should be good to do so."

You sighed.

It did make sense since you were barely injured anymore.

"I'll give you a chance to change and then I'll be waiting just outside."

You nodded your head at his words as you shifted to the edge of the bed to stand.

You quickly changed and threw on a long sleeve shirt and a pair of shorts as you walked out the door.


Clione led you down the hallway to the kitchen where the crew had already finished eating and there were dishes piled up from breakfast and lunch.

You hadn't even realized it was already the afternoon.

He motioned you to a spot at the high top where there was a plate of food waiting for you.

"After you eat, you've gotta clean all the dirty dishes. I know it's not much fun but it goes by pretty fast."

"Right." you muttered as you sat down at the high top looking at all the dirty dishes and cups that needed to be cleaned.


After you were done eating you tied your hair back into a ponytail and got to work.

Cleaning dishes was simple and straightforward, the only problem was it was unbelievably boring. It was so repetitive. But you also couldn't complain, everyone was working on their own task around the sub.

And it was also better than sitting in the infirmary.

You were wiping off a plate and turning around when you realized Law was standing right behind you.

"Jesus-"

You dropped the plate in your hand causing it to shatter on the floor.

He, on the other hand, didn't even react. Just standing with his back against the counter holding a coffee mug watching you.

You were slightly embarrassed you had dropped the plate, but more frustrated he just appeared out of nowhere, with no warning.

You bent down to start picking up the bigger glass pieces.

"You scared the literal shit out of-"

You were cut off as you hissed in pain slicing your palm on the jagged glass piece.

"Goddammit."

You stood up gripping your hand in pain as it stung so badly.

Law immediately set down his coffee and yanked you by your wrist toward him.

You kept your mouth shut as he held your wrist and examined the cut on the palm of your hand silently.

For some reason you could feel your heart pounding so hard in your chest as you stood in front of him.

Feel his breath on your hand as he looked closely and carefully.

You were staring at him.

The way his steel eyes carefully observed your hand. You were taking in all his features.

Your throat went dry when his eyes flickered to meet yours.

"Guess I'll have to find a different job for you."

And without warning he pulled you by the wrist walking out of the kitchen and back towards the infirmary.

But instead of going into the infirmary you had been sleeping in, he went to the actual medical bay where he treated the members of the crew.

It was much bigger. There were beds all lined up and there was a big examination table and shelves and shelves of supplies and medicine.

He led you over to the examination table and you let out a slight yelp of surprise when his hands grasped your waist and he picked you up and set you on it.

He turned to walk away, grabbing supplies while you just stared at him.

He came back with a few things, and gripped your hand as he muttered,

"This might sting a little..."

You winced as you felt the sting of him cleaning the wound on your palm.

You then noticed he had a needle.

Your eyes went wide, as he said,

"I need to stitch it up."

You immediately jerked your hand away.

He stared at you and held his hand out as if saying 'give me your damn hand back'.

"It doesn't need to be stitched." you stated.

The anxiety in your voice was apparent as the words left your mouth.

He scoffed,

"I'm sorry Shiina-ya, are you a doctor?"

You bit down on the inside of your cheek.

"No but I... I don't need it stitched."

He looked at you with annoyance as he spoke,

"Give me your damn hand Shiina-ya."

You stared at him, keeping your hand clenched by your side.

He huffed in annoyance as he grabbed your wrist and simply jerked it back out so he had access to your palm.

"Now hold still."

As soon as he brought the needle close to your hand.

You clenched your eyes shut and turned to look away.

Waiting for the pain.

But the pain never came.

You opened an eye and glanced at him.

He had a dumbfounded look on his face as he looked at you.

"Are you afraid of needles?"

You just stared at him without saying a word.

"You're a devil fruit user who has probably cut people in two, but you're afraid of a needle...?"

How humbling.

You slowly nodded your head.

He let out a sigh as he looked at you.

His stoic expression and tone remained but his words...

"Shiina-ya I'm going to talk...just try to focus on my words, okay?"

You still had an anxious look on your face as your eyes still remained locked with his.

"Just... try to focus on my words. I'm gonna tell you a story."

You nodded your head.

Focus on his words.

Your eyes were fixed on him as he spoke,

"There was a little boy... and he lived happily on an island with his family..."

You nodded your head as you tilted your head up to look at the ceiling, taking deep breaths.

"He lived with his Mom and his Dad and his younger sister..."

You winced slightly as you felt the needle prick your skin.

"He was very happy and studied hard in school because he wanted to become a doctor just like his dad..."

Just focus on the story.

"But one day a horrible disease infected his sister as well as many others on the island..."

You blinked a moment.

This story is sad.

"The disease seemed to have no cure..."

No cure?

"So the boy had to watch his sister suffer as the disease took over her slowly..."

You felt your heart ache.

"On top of that, the neighboring countries feared that the disease was contagious. So they positioned the military to keep anyone from leaving..."

So... cruel.

"...eventually when people kept trying to escape... they sent the military in to exterminate the citizens... and destroy the town..."

Your lips parted in utter shock at how sad this story was.

It almost reminded you of what happened to you.

Your home.

You felt tears bead in your eyes.

"...the hospital that the little boy's sister was in was burnt to the ground. And his parents... were killed as well..."

Your heart clenched.

All you could think of and picture was a little boy.

Crying out for his family.

"But what about the boy...? Did he survive?" you blurted out in a concerned tone.

There was a long pause.

You stayed staring up at the ceiling as you felt a tear roll down your cheek.

There was silence before he said,

"Shiina-ya, I'm done stitching up your hand."

You tilted your head back down and looked at him.

He was staring at you.

Your eyes were welled with tears as you asked,

"Did the little boy survive?"

He was silent before he said.

"Yes. Yes he did."

He paused.

"He was the only one who did, actually."

"So he was by himself?"

At that point Law was just staring at you as tears rolled down your cheeks.

You looked away from him as you wiped your cheek with the sleeve of your shirt.

You didn't know why you were being so emotional.

"Shiina-ya, it's just a story."

"But it was so sad." you said as you wiped your other cheek.

"But it distracted you, hm?"

He held up your hand in front of you that was now completely stitched up.

You had only felt the first stitch, and not a single one after.

You nodded your head slowly but your eyes were still welled up with tears.

You heard him let out a sigh.

You were waiting for him to yell at you or call you silly for crying.

But instead, you felt his thumb gently stroke your hand.

When your breathing slowed and calmed, you looked at him.

"Thank you."

His eyes flickered up to yours and you were suddenly made aware of your heart pounding so hard in your chest, and just how close your face was to his.

Your eyes were locked with his steel ones as he still had a hold of your hand.

He leaned in closer.

So close, you could feel his breath on your face.

"Shiina-ya."

"Hm?"

His lips parted to say something but he was silent.

The only thing you could hear and feel was his breaths against your skin.

But then, he pulled away, turning his back to you.

You let out a heavy exhale not realizing you had nearly been holding your breath.

You heard his voice as his back remained turned to you,

"You're... you're free to go Shiina-ya."

You stayed sitting for a moment.

Just staring at him as he was turned away.

Your heart still pounding so rapidly.

You got down from the medical table.

You wanted to say something before you left.

But what were you supposed to say?

I'm sorry?

Thank you?

You hesitated a moment.

But turned and walked out the door not saying a word.



At dinner you got a few questions on what happened to your hand, so you got stuck telling the same story over and over of how you had dropped a dish and cut your hand.

Shachi and Penguin gave you shit for it and called you things like 'clutz' which honestly you were grateful for the laugh because it helped distract you from your mind that was spinning.

Spinning from whatever the hell happened in the medical bay.

You had gotten so close.

So close.

Your heart started pounding just thinking about it.

Jesus what is wrong with me?

"Shiina."

Penguins' voices snapped you out of your thoughts.

"Hm...?"

"What is up with you tonight?" he said with a slight laugh, "You seem so out of it."

"Oh. Oh, sorry. Just... tired."

Shachi spoke up,

"What job do ya think captain will have ya doin tomorrow?"

You shrugged.

"Probably not something that involves breakable items?"

The pair chuckled.

"Maybe you'll be put on a job with one of us!"

"Although, I hear we're resurfacing again soon."

You turned your attention to Riku who had chimed in about the sub resurfacing.

"What? When?"

Penguin frowned when he heard you sound so eager.

You glanced at him.

"I'm not trying to escape, I literally just want fresh air and sunlight."

He let out a slight laugh, "Understandable."

Riku shrugged,

"I think tomorrow. I think the sub needs some work done and there's a small summer island that'll be a lowkey place to stop for some maintenance."

You smiled at that.

You needed fresh air to get out of your head.

And just wanted to lay in the sun.

Penguin elbowed you,

"Drinks tomorrow night?"

"Hell yeah!" Shachi responded.

You couldn't help but grin.

"Absolutely."



Penguin and Shachi had walked you back to the infirmary and had said their goodnights.

So now you were once again stuck with your own thoughts.

You lay awake curled up under the sheets.

Your head spinning with confusion.

Every time you thought about what happened your heart so obviously raced.

You had been so close.

So close you could feel his breath on your face.

What had he wanted to say to me?

You let out a groan of frustration.

This is not what I need.

You tossed and turned as your mind raced.

Until eventually, you drifted off to sleep.

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