*mature content warning*

You awoke to a loud, annoying, banging noise.

You blinked, slowly waking and coming to your senses. There was a bit of light coming through the porthole, so your eyes quickly adjusted. You could feel Laws arm resting on your body, as he started to stir and wake up beside you.

You realized that annoying noise was knocking.

Knocking at the door to his quarters.

You sat up rubbing your eye, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. You had to have slept pretty damn good because the sheets were kicked off his bed, and you could feel your hair was a mess.

You heard a familiar voice from behind the door,

"Captain! It's an emergency!"

You felt the bed shifting and heard Law grumbling as the knocking continued.

"We're concerned- we're coming in!"

Your eyes went wide as you heard those words, but before you could react, the door to his quarters swung open.

Ah, shit.

Law immediately moved to sit in front of you to cover you from the men standing at the door, but at that point it was too late.

There was Penguin, Shachi, and Bepo, standing in the doorway.

Bepo immediately covered his own eyes, and shouted,

"Oh! I'm so sorry!"

Penguin and Shachi just stood, eyes wide, faces flushed at the sight.

You, in Law's bed. Long blonde hair a mess, only wearing his shirt and underwear. Law beside you, shirtless.

Sheets kicked off the bed.

Penguin mumbled,

"We... came to tell you we couldn't find Shiina..."

Shachi followed immediately,

"But uhm- found her! Look at that! So we can go now. So so sorry captain-"

Before quickly shutting the door to his quarters.

Leaving you and Law, in a state of shock and embarrassment at what the hell had happened.

He immediately turned to the clock as he uttered,

"3 pm- fuck."

He shifted, getting up from the bed with a frustrated grunt. You could hear him opening drawers rummaging for clothes to get dressed.

Meanwhile you sat in a state of shock for a moment, before slumping back down into bed, staring at the ceiling.

You didn't want to get up. His bed was too comfortable, and you hadn't slept that well in so long.

"What are you doing?"

You heard his grumpy voice.

"Laying."

"Well get up."

You groaned and turned over so you were laying on your stomach face buried in the pillow as you mumbled,

"I'm going to hear no end of shit for this."

"They won't say anything."

You scoffed and turned your face to the side,

"Yeah, they won't say anything to you."

You looked at him only to realize he had stopped rummaging through the dresser, and was staring at you.

Eyes locked on your body.

You immediately felt nervous, self conscious as you spoke,

"What?"

He turned back to the drawer and pulled out a pair of jeans before mumbling in an aggravated tone,

"Put clothes on."

And then you saw it. Why he sounded so aggravated.

The obvious bulge in the front of his pants.

He turned away from you as he got dressed, as you sat up on the edge of the bed facing away from him.

You could feel your cheeks burning and you hated it.

The way you could immediately feel your heart pounding against your ribs.

You sat a moment. The gears in your head spinning.

How the hell did I end up here?

You stood up off the bed and stretched your arms in the air. Your body was stiff from sleeping so long.

You needed to go back to the infirmary to get dressed, and the shirt of his you had on hung past your hips. So, you headed toward the door to his quarters.

However, you were stopped in your tracks when you felt Law grasp your wrist and pull you into him, your back against his chest. His chin resting atop your head as he wrapped his arms around your waist.

He quietly mumbled,

"Thank you."

And you couldn't help it.

You let out a soft sigh, leaning into him.

You feel his hands shift, slipping underneath the hem of your shirt, immediately finding their way up the front of your body groping both your breasts.

A soft gasp escapes you, as you feel him bring his head down and gently kiss your neck. Feeling the way his breaths immediately become heavier and ragged. Your body jolted and trembled as you felt his rough hands massage your soft flesh.

You could feel your face flush harder, as he pulled your body flush against his own, pressing his hardness against your rear.

"Shiina-ya,"

His voice comes out low and raspy, warm breaths against your neck causing you to shiver.

"I need to fuck you."

His voice trembled slightly with arousal.

"Right now."

Those words.

You nearly choke for air as your eyes widened.

You felt panic suddenly well up inside of you.

All feelings of pleasure froze, as you pulled away from him abruptly.

"Get off-"

Without looking back you ran out the door of his quarters, leaving him standing stunned and confused.

—

He stood stunned, confused, at what the hell just happened.

Had he come on too strong?

Had he overwhelmed you?

Had he triggered something- had he hurt you?

He wasn't thinking when he said it.

He felt ridden with guilt and a bit of shame as he stood staring at the door.

You were so goddamn unpredictable.

His guilt and shame was quickly replaced with frustration.

His frustration at you and at himself.

That he had no power over himself when it came to you.

He sighed silently to himself, ultimately deciding to not go after you.

He would've felt stupid if he did.

He convinced himself, perhaps he had overwhelmed you.

And perhaps, this was his sign to create some distance between the two of you.

He couldn't afford to be getting this attached.

He was leaving soon after all.

—

You didn't stop as you ran down the hallway, to the infirmary, relieved to find it was only you in there.

You shut the door behind you.

You could feel your heart racing in your chest, the way your chest suddenly felt tight like you couldn't breathe.

You could feel your body trembling slightly- and for what?

You didn't know why you panicked like that.

You had no explanation- your body wanted him.

But your mind wouldn't turn off.

You ran out of there as if your life depended on it.

But why?

Perhaps it was because you had never been with someone in that way, and you didn't know how.

But the way your body tensed when he said those words.

The way you felt your throat tighten.

You shook your head, trying to rid the thoughts.

You didn't want to think about it.

You were embarrassed.

So incredibly embarrassed.

You took this as a sign to bury yourself in work.

Using your bad arm a little wouldn't be a bad idea.

You quickly changed, and combed out your hair with your fingers.

Heading out of the infirmary, toward the kitchen to see if there was anything you could to help.

—

To your luck when you walked into the kitchen, the only two occupants happened to be Shachi and Penguin.

When your eyes fell on them you debated between creeping back out of the kitchen, but ultimately decided to just face them. You'd have to one way or another, and that way you could explain yourself.

Shachi spotted you anyway, so it wasn't like you had a choice.

There's no avoiding this.

"Ohhh there you are!"

He let out a slight laugh,

"You gave us quite a scare this morning."

Penguin however just stared at you, his face turning slightly red.

You sighed as you approached the sink and began washing dishes.

The words both men knew were coming left your mouth,

"Believe it or not, it wasn't what you thought you saw."

"I figured you would say something like that."

You turned over your shoulder to see Shachi with a grin on his face,

"So then... care to explain?"

Fuck.

The true explanation was possibly more embarrassing than just lying and saying 'we slept together'.

You swallowed as you turned back around staring at the plate in your hand.

"Well..."

Your knuckles turned white you were gripping the plate so hard.

"I have uhm... flashbacks... sometimes and..."

You swallowed hard remembering what you had dreamt about, trying to keep your voice from shaking with embarrassment.

"I was scared to be by myself, basically."

Shachi stood up and handed you his empty plate, placing a hand on your shoulder.

"I figured it was something of the sorts. You don't have to say anymore."

He then chuckled,

"But I must say, we were all quite surprised to find you- just the way it looked and all-"

You shove him gently as you let out a laugh,

"Yeah, yeah whatever."

He leaned his back against the counter as he let out a sigh,

"I mean... I've gotta say I'm still shocked..."

You turned to look at him as you continued washing dishes,

"And why is that?"

He started chuckling,

"Well captain's... he's..."

He paused as he looked at you.

"...I just don't think I've ever seen him treat anyone the way he treats you."

You annoyingly felt your heart pound a little harder when he said those words, as you immediately said,

"It's because I remind him of someone. And I'm useful."

Shachi chuckled as he stood up and stretched,

"I'm not gonna say anything else. But I am going to get back to work."

He ruffled your hair and let out a sigh as he looked at you.

"You're a good one y'know."

You let our another laugh as an unavoidable grin formed on your face,

"Yeah, whatever."

He then turned to walk out of the kitchen patting Penguin on the back before he left.

Oh, thats right.

Penguin is here.

He hadn't said a word the whole time, so you broke the silence as you glanced at him over your shoulder,

"You done with your plate?"

"Are you really not sleeping with him?"

Your throat tightened at the suddenness and bluntness of his question.

"No! No- god no of course not."

He just looked at you with the same stare.

"You shouldn't."

You blinked, confused by the words coming out of his mouth.

"Where is this-"

"I don't want you to get hurt."

You stared at him dumbfounded.

Hurt?

"It's not like that at all, we aren't..."

You trailed off.

The way he was looking at you.

You felt your stomach sink.

He was looking at you like he desperately wanted to tell you something, but couldn't.

He looked almost pained.

Sad.

You immediately spoke,

"If there's something I don't know, please say it."

There was a moment of silence between you two.

"Just remember he's a pirate first."

He stood up from his seat and picked up his plate as he walked over to you, setting it beside the sink.

You looked up at him as he stood beside you.

"I know that, obviously."

"Shiina."

You looked at him.

It was strange to see a man who had the heart and spirit of a hyper happy little boy to be so serious.

And the words he was saying.

"He's our captain."

Obviously.

What the hell was he trying to say?

You shook your head,

"What are you-"

"Just know that, please."

He looked at you like he was sorry.

I'm so fucking confused right now.

"Obviously I..."

You sighed.

He just wanted to hear you say you understood.

And you knew that.

You swallowed hard,

"I know that. I understand he's your captain, you take orders from him, you've known him a long time."

He looked at you a moment before he nodded.

There was another moment of silence as you stood.

He looked at you with the same expression. His fists balled at his sides, before he spoke softly,

"Just please tell me if you need anything. When you're done cleaning up here you can do some cleaning in the infirmary where Riku is."

And that was it.

He gave you a somber smile, before he turned to walk out.

You just stared at him.

Completely dumbfounded as you watched him disappear out of your sight.

—

You didn't see Law at all for the rest of the day.

Which in all honesty relieved you.

Riku wouldn't stop asking you what was wrong as you cleaned the main infirmary from top to bottom.

You had a lot on your mind.

Law obviously.

Trying to rack your brain as to why you freaked out so much.

And your conversation with Penguin.

You felt a twisting in your stomach every time you thought about it.

It was like he was warning you.

Apologizing for something he couldn't say.

You wanted to ask more to understand what the hell was going on, but that wasn't an option.

—

You returned to your own room at the end of the night.

The familiar miniature infirmary room.

You climbed into your bed and curled up under the sheets.

You were upset, that you were filled with a new anxiety. A new pain in your chest. Your heart ached.

Why?

What is wrong with me?

Your knees were tucked into your chest as you lay under the sheets in the darkness.

It felt... so empty.

Lonely.

God dammit.

You clenched your eyes shut, but to no avail you couldn't sleep.

Your mind was still restless but your body needed rest so desperately.

It was a long, awful while of tossing and turning before your exhausted mind and body finally fell asleep.