Trigger warning: The beginning of this story contains depressing messages and suicidal thoughts. There will be torture in upcoming chapters and gore/violence later on.

He stayed in his apartment most of the time. Alone. Caged.

He'd never admit he was lonely. He couldn't let them know. That would be a weakness.

Besides, they kicked him out so why would they care if he was lonely? They put him there.

Sean sent money to him for rent so that part was at least nice. He wasn't allowed to go anywhere and he wasn't allowed to get his own groceries. They were sent to him. Sean didn't want anyone to find out or see him. Even though Sean had grown out his hair to wear in a small bun and grown out his beard and Anti stayed the same, they still looked way too much like twins.

So he stayed in his apartment. Alone. All the time.

It had been about a year since his last tantrum with everyone. The last thing that happened was he had taken over Sean during a lets play and just stared at the camera creeping everyone out. He was good at that. Then he had teased something about 'the next phase'. Sean's fans loved the scene but Sean, himself, had been fed up with it and threatened him.

If he tried to possess him again or any of the other egos, he'd have Marvin 'put him away'.

So Anti had stayed away. He knew Sean had meant it and he wouldn't admit it but he was afraid. He didn't want to be put away in some dark empty void never to be thought of again. Never to be able to live again.

Honestly, he didn't understand what the problem was. It was all in good fun and the fans loved it so what was the big issue?

He was just bored was all. He just wanted to mess around and do something fun once in a while. Since he couldn't let anyone see him, his only options were to either mess around online or chill with Dark and he wasn't too keen on spending any time around that bastard for a good while.

Dark was well enough and fine but he wasn't fun. He was too proper and manipulative. If Dark ever did want to spend any time around Anti, it would be because he wanted him to do something for him he didn't want to do.

Anti chose to stay away from him(not that he had a choice) ever since Dark tried to make him kill someone for him. He may not look it but Anti had never killed anyone and he didn't want to. Sure he had maimed and beat some people that pissed him off but he had never killed anyone. Many people would at first think he'd love killing and survived solely on blood lust but you can't judge a book on its cover, can you?

So now his only choice was to mess around online. He sifted through Tumblr mostly looking through fanart people in the community drew of him. He loved it, really but at the same time, it was always the same. He was always drawn as either the bad guy or the bratty toddler who never got his way. A lot of other times he'd be on YouTube and watch Sean's videos. He may dislike him sometimes but he was funny, he'd admit.

The sun was high up above in the sky and the water tower's siren nearby signaled that it was noon. Anti sighed as another worthless day was just dragging by. He wished he could do something but once again, he was bound.

'Don't get why the others get to go around and do stuff' he griped to himself, 'I'm not the only ego that's fucked up. Wish Sean could just see that. They're not all perfect!'

He snarled as he remembered. When he had lived with the others, it had just been Jameson, Jackie and Marvin. Schneep and Chase lived on their own with their families. Schneep was the first to fuck up. He had started having problems at home and thus started losing more and more patients. This made his wife leave with the kids. Schneep's 'career' bombed and he started an underground practice where he lost just as many patients as before but cared less.

The next person to fuck up was Chase. He had been happy with his wife Stacey and their two kids but then Stacey decided to divorce him as Chase's 'job' wasn't bringing in any money for the family. She left to her sister's place and refused to let him see the kids.

In return, Chase dived head-first into madness, got drunk and shot a drive-by killing several people in the process. He tried to kill himself, too, but Schneep was able to save him.

Sean didn't reprimand them. Sean didn't hold them accountable. He felt sorry for them. They had actually killed people and yet they were getting by with it Sean and others saw them as the good guys. It wasn't their fault. They were having a hard time. They'll get better.

Anti hated everything about it. Here he had never killed anyone and yet he was getting shit on for a few tantrums that didn't really hurt anyone in the end.

But he was the bad guy. He deserved it. It was what he was made for.

Chase and Schneep were having a rough time. It wasn't their fault. There was nothing Schneep could do to save those people. Chase had a depressive episode. And Jackie, Marvin and Jameson weren't any better! Jackie chose his battles as a hero like a fucking coward. One of Marvin's spells had gone wrong one time and scarred an audience member so he was doing street magic now and Jameson. . . . . well Jameson really hadn't done much of anything bad since he's been around so never mind.

Anti took a deep breathe, 'Whatever. That was two years ago. All of that doesn't matter now'

What mattered was that he couldn't even go out to get his own food! He couldn't go out to see a movie he wanted to see. He couldn't just take a walk to clear his head or get some sun.

'Fuck it' Anti thought, 'Fuck it all'

He had gone along with it all for almost a year now. No more. If someone caught him, oh well. He'd run. What were they gonna do? Kill him?

Deciding in that moment, Anti got up from the couch. He went to the bathroom and fixed up his hair and dressed in some clean clothes and pulled over a hoodie. Surely no one would recognize him in this? Just to be sure, he took some eyeliner and put some under his eyes and drew a fake tattoo on his cheek that looked like a feather. It was a pretty normal tattoo really for the area but since it was on his face, people would be less apt to actually want to look at him for a long period of time, thinking he was in a gang or something.

Prepping and hyping himself up, Anti finally walked out of the apartment with some cash in his pockets and his keys.

'Fuck them all.'

_____________________________________

When he got back to his apartment later that night, he had a smile plastered on his face. It had been a good day since he was able to sneak around without anyone knowing who he really was.

He had gone to a fast food place and ordered a burger and fries. He then walked around the mall scowering around all the different stores. He bought some new clothes from some places that were just is style and then he went to a local bar and ordered some drinks for himself. So now he was a bit tipsy but it had been a good day.

"Fuck Sean and fuck all them assholes" he talked to himself as he threw his new stuff on his bed, "I do whatever fuck I want!" he tossed himself on the bed next, "Sons a bitches think they order me 'round"

He watched the ceiling fan go around as it suddenly captured his attention.

Without even realizing it, he had fallen asleep.

The next morning, Anti awoke to the sound of knocking. Blearily, he sat up, rubbing his eyes and forcing away his hangover before slowly going to answer it, completely forgetting about the fake tattoo he drew on himself. He looked through the peep hole and grimaced to himself but answered it anyways.

The two looked at each other awkwardly for a moment before Anti finally spoke first, "Sean . . . Why the fuck are you here?"

Sean narrowed his eyes at him, "Anti . . . I uh. . .I just wanted to check up on ya. See how you were doing."

"I'm fine. That all?"

"No. Can I come in?"

He really wanted to say no but then again, Sean paid his rent, "Fine" he got out of the way for him to walk inside.

"You been eating well? Sleeping good? Feeling good?"

Anti was growing suspicious but nodded, "I'm fine. Why?"

"What? I can't ask my 'evil' counterpart how he's doing? Haven't seen ya in a few months"

"Hm" Anti huffed, "I wonder why. I'm not allowed out of the apartment and I'm not allowed at the house. How else would you fucking see me if you didn't come yourself?!"

"Hey relax, man. Don't snap on me."

Anti was about to yell at him again until he noticed something. Sean kept looking out the window. That's when he knew.

"You brought Jackie with you. Didn't you?"

Sean didn't see any sense in lying, "Come on, man. I'm just being sure"

"Sure of what?! That I won't kill you?" he laughed humorlessly, "You know what, how about you just leave? Why'd you come anyway if you didn't want to?"

"It's not that I didn't want to, Anti."

"You're afraid to. Same difference." Anti went to his cupboards taking out a glass. He filled it with water from his tap and drank it to try and calm himself. The last thing he needed was for that self-righteous asshole Jackie to come swinging through the window to 'protect' Sean if he got too upset.

He couldn't let them see him glitch or that's most definitely what will happen.

Sean didn't correct Anti. He swore he almost felt a pit fall in his stomach at that.

"Why are you here, Sean?"

Sean sighed and finally told him, "I need your help on a video."

"Hm. And?"

"Will you help?"

"What's in it for me?"

Sean crossed his arms, starting to get a bit fed up, "What. . .what do you want, Anti?"

"Let me come back"

"NO"

"Why the fuck not!? You let Chase and Schneep go back home! And they actually killed people! I've never killed anyone!"

"Anti, that's enough! You know Chase wasn't in the right state of mind and Henrik can't control EVERYTHING that happens in the ER."

"Oh bullshite" he cursed, "Fucking bullshite. I've done everything you've asked of me. And it's NEVER enough! Just admit it, Seany-boy!" he started glitching out, not caring anymore, making Sean take a step back, "You hate me! You're afraid of me! I am everything you hate about yourself and that's why you don't want me back!"

Sean was quiet but closed his eyes as if in thought, calming himself.

Anti continued, not caring if his glitching was affecting him, "You've never given me a chance like you have the others. If you want my help on some fucking stupid video of yours then that's what I want, Sean. There. You have the fucking terms. But since I already know what you're gonna say- How about instead I get to actually live a fucking life instead of being caged here like a damn animal!?" he stomped over to the door and opened it, "But I already know the answer to both. So you can kindly get the fuck out of my 'humble abode' and fuck off"

A part of Anti was hoping that Sean would accept the offer. But Sean walked through the door. However before he did, he saw one last thing, "Fine. I'll go. But just don't be going out again, Anti. Jackie caught you leaving the mall yesterday. You know the conditions. See you around."

Anti just slammed the door in his face, "FUCK YOU!"

He ran over to closed the blinds before plopping on the couch angrily, "Can't fucking cage me forever. I'm not a fucking animal. All of you can just . . . . "