A/N Just remember I love you.

and no - I don't have any excuses for him. 

Also sorry for the abundance of F bombs :/

_____________________

Kirscomiche was back in full effect, except... not.  Things were slightly, different. 

Mitch wasn’t quite sure how to handle it. Scott was there with him, but something was off.  It was Scott, but not. 

Scott wasn’t the same Scott as before.  Maybe to the outside observer he was the same old Scott, but Mitch knew better. He knew Scott and this was definitely NOT his Scott. 

His Scott was shy and quiet around people he didn’t know very well. His Scott would RARELY hold his hand in public, let alone walk with his arm around his shoulders or waist, holding him close. HIS Scott would have NEVER just randomly kissed him out in public. 

There were a lot of new things about this Scott. This Scott wore amazing designer clothes that fit like a glove and made everyone and their brother practically break their necks looking at him. This Scott had superstar friends that called him every now and then to just talk or ask if he wanted to hang out. This Scott took almost as long to get ready in the morning as he did. 

This Scott rarely said I love you, and when he did it was only because Mitch had said it first. 

This Scott didn’t give in. This Scott would actually argue with him and put up a fight. 

This Scott would tell Mitch he was being absolutely ridiculous if he was. This Scott would tell Mitch he was acting childish if he was throwing a tantrum.  This Scott didn’t go out of his way just to make Mitch smile by doing even the silliest little things. 

In the rare moments that they cuddled, this Scott’s thumb didn’t caress his arm naturally as it always had. 

This Scott wasn't always smiling, and there was something different behind his eyes even when he did crack a smile. 

This Scott refused to just move right back in with him and was even looking at nearby single room apartments. This Scott still had yet to call him Baby, or Hon, or even refer to him as his boyfriend. 

The sex was electric, but even that was different.

Mitch had learned all of this in just 7 days. 

Things were sideways.  

This Scott was not the same as his Scott, and he wanted his Scott back. 

~

“I need to go to the mall…”  The blonde snuck a kiss to his cheek as he walked by to grab a bottle of water.

“I don’t wanna go to the mall. Let’s just stay here and chill today. We can watch Netflix or something.” 

“I need to get a new charger for my phone. Mine isn’t charging right anymore.” 

“Today?” 

“C’mon, you love the mall.” 

“But, I just wanted to spend some time alone with you. We’ve been with Kirstie or Avi or out somewhere since you’ve been back and when we’re alone we just have sex.” 

“Like you’ve been complaining about the sex.” 

“I didn’t say I was, but I just wanted to kinda have you all to myself for a little while.” 

“It’ll only take an hour at most, then we can come back and do whatever you want, I promise.”

Mitch sighed. It wouldn’t be only an hour if they both went, because it just never worked that way. If Scott went by himself then maybe he’d get back faster. 

“Why don’t you just go ahead. I’ll stay here.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yeah, it’s no big deal. I wanted to work on some choreo anyway.” 

“Alright.” Scott just grabbed his keys and gave him a small peck before heading out the door. 

Mitch could only sigh. Where had his Scott gone? His Scott would have insisted that he come too, or he would have caved and said he could just go tomorrow and that he would like nothing more than sitting on the couch with Mitch all day just enjoying his company. His Scott would have at least said “I love you” before leaving.

But this wasn’t his Scott. 

~

It had been 3 hours when Mitch decided to call him. 

“Hello?” Scott was laughing. 

“Hey. I thought it was only going to take a few minutes?” 

“Sorry, I ran into Kirstie. She’s been dragging me from store to store. She’s ridiculous y’know.” Scott was still laughing, probably at something Kirstie was doing. 

“Oh, how much longer do you think you’ll be?” 

“I dunno. We’ll probably just grab lunch here at the food court. I’ll bring you something back!. Kit, stop it! I’m not buying that!” 

Mitch suddenly wished he’d gone. “I could meet you guys there” he suggested, but Scott wasn’t listening.  He was playfully arguing with Kirstie about a pair of jeans.

“They are hideous.” 

“You’d look super hot in them.” Kirst’s voice declared in the background. 

“What I’m not already hot?” 

“These would make you look even hotter.” 

Scott laughed again. “Yeah, gold lamé is so me. Mitch, I gotta go. I’ll bring you back Chick-fil-a, ok?” 

Mitch almost smiled at how Scott knew exactly what he would have wanted, but the fact that he wasn't even listening to him overpowered the reaction. 

“Yeah, I’ll see you when you get ho-" he’d almost said home, but no. He was still keeping his stuff at Kirstie’s. “here…” 

“Bye.” Mitch heard the phone click as Scott disconnected. No I love you, no I miss you, no go to hell, nothing. 

It’s only been a week, give the boy a break. You fu¢ked up and now you gotta deal with the consequences. He’ll be back to normal in no time. Just gotta wait it out.

Even as the thought came to him, he didn’t believe it. 

Somewhere in the back of his mind he wondered what he would do if his Scott never came back. What would he really do then? Would he still love him the same way? Could he still love him the same way? 

Just wait it out…

-------

Scott didn’t realize what he was doing. He didn’t see anything different about the way he was acting. This was how he had been since he’d moved in with Zac, independent for probably the first time in his life. 

He didn’t NEED to be with someone all the time. He could go shopping by himself. He could entertain himself. He could think for himself. He was finally content with himself and it showed. He wasn’t afraid of what other people thought anymore, not even his parents. That had been a terrifying confession, and it had gone about as well as he'd imagined, but Zac had been there to help him through that. He didn't regret telling them. It was liberating not having to worry about it.

He had a new outlook on life and a new motto courtesy of Miss Aguilera…

‘I’m humanly unable to please everyone at the same time…so now I find my piece of mind living one day at a time.’

He wasn’t afraid anymore and he loved that. 

He wasn’t afraid to stand up for himself. He wasn’t about to let anyone walk over him anymore. His life was his to live and finally he was ready to live it. Zac had helped him grow up and find his confidence. 

Unfortunately that meant that he didn’t hang on Mitch's every word. He didn’t just eat pizza even if he wasn’t in the mood for it. He didn't just watch whatever TV show Mitch wanted to watch every time. He didn’t let Mitch treat him like a welcome mat anymore.

If that was a problem then maybe things weren’t as perfect as he thought. 

Going to the mall hadn’t even been an issue to him. Kirstie was one of his best friends and they were having a great time. Why should he have to ask Mitch's permission for that? Besides he’d asked him to come and Kirstie had already been at the mall when he ran into her.

 _________

Scott had no clue he was in trouble as he headed up the steps with Kirstie. He carried the bags from the stores and Kirstie carried their food that they’d decided to bring back so they could eat with Mitch. 

Mitch was pretty quiet after they came inside. He thanked him for the food and gave a small smile as Scott gave him a quick kiss on the lips before disappearing into the kitchen to get them all drinks. 

 Kirstie was rambling on about how great it was to have Scott back with them. He smiled and went along, but he just knew that his Scott wasn’t back. 

For Scott and Mitch things were sliding out of place rapidly.

Scott had no clue, but Mitch did and he was at a loss to know how to fix it. He just wanted his Scott back. That’s all he really wanted.

This wasn’t the Scott he fell in love with. 

What was he supposed to do with THIS Scott.

~~

Scott wasn’t daft. He wasn’t COMPLETELY oblivious. 

He had realized, during Kirstie’s rant about customer service, that Mitch's head was somewhere else. He had thought, at first, maybe Mitch was just thinking about something random because he was bored with whatever Kirstie was talking about, but Mitch had remained distant through the rest of lunch. 

Kirstie suggested they should all go see a movie that night. He spotted the strange look on Mitch’s face as he immediately agreed. Kirstie declared she was going to go look for movie times. 

“Wait. KT, I’m not really in the mood to go out tonight. How about tomorrow night? I just kinda wanted some alone time with Mitch.” 

She stopped, her grin faltering for only a split second. “Good! You two be… you two and I’ll just be downstairs.” 

She left quickly leaving the two of them alone in a bit of awkward silence. Scott just patiently waited for the fallout from whatever had been brewing behind Mitch’s eyes.

It took about 3 minutes worth of silence.

“You didn’t have to do that.” Mitch finally spoke up, albeit quietly. 

“I wanted to.” Scott got up from his seat and walked over and lifted Mitch's chin with his fingertips and kissed him sweetly for a few moments. When they parted Mitch's eyes looked up into his and he knew something was wrong. 

“Talk to me.” 

“About what?” 

Scott sighed. He hated when Mitch got like this, pouty and resistant and insanely stubborn. 

“Mitch” 

Scott tried to catch his eye but Mitch looked away from him. Mitch didn't want to speak up. He didn't want to say anything and risk upsetting him, but this wasn't really his Scott anyway. 

“Do you love me?” 

Completely not what he was expecting to hear. “Of course I love you. If I didn’t love you I wouldn’t be here. I would have never come back.” 

“You didn’t.” 

Scott sighed. They’d had this argument at least once a day since they’d gotten back together. Mitch had caught him looking at nearby apartments online and had been freaking out ever since.

“I’ve been staying here every night since we got back together.” 

“That’s not what I meant.” Mitch stared at Scott’s hand laying on the edge of the table as the Scott impostor stood in front of him. 

“You’re not making any sense right now.” 

Mitch slowly lifted his eyes to Scott’s. The look was almost haunting and Scott literally took a step back at the way Mitch seemed to look right through him.

Mitch let his eyes lock onto Scott’s as he stood from his chair. 

“You’re not Scott.” 

Scott didn’t know what the hell to do. Was this a joke? Was he serious? How do you respond to that!?

“What the-” 

“-You’re not! You’re not MY Scott!” 

“I don’t understand-“ 

“-It’s his fault! I know it is! He changed you! You aren’t even YOU anymore, you’re turning into HIM!” 

Scott was lost. He’d fallen off the bus about 10 sentences ago. His face must have shown it because Mitch barreled on. 

“Zac! He’s turned you into … this!” 

“Into what!? Zac has nothing to do with us.” 

“He has everything to do with us Scott! You love him, you’re IN love with him and I know it.” 

Scott shook his head. Where the hell was this coming from. 

“I chose you. I let him go-"

“NO! No you didn’t! Look at you! Look at your clothes and the way you’re acting! ” 

“How am I acting? And I wasn't aware my fashion sense was a make it or break it!” 

“You don’t act like you! You kissed me right in the middle of the sidewalk the other day, right in the middle of the grocery store yesterday! You hold my hand when we're at the studio.” 

“That’s a problem!?” 

“You would have NEVER done that before! And you don’t ever say you love me, not unless I say it first.” 

“I do too!” 

“NO you don’t! You don’t say you love me, you don’t call me baby, I don’t even know if I’m your boyfriend or not because you’ve never said so!” 

“Of course you’re my boyfriend! Mitch, you aren’t making any sense at all” 

“Even the sex is different now.”  

“The sex is NOT different!” 

“IT IS! and its HIS fault!” 

“I was having sex with him way before I had sex with you. He didn’t do anything to me.” 

“HE DID!” Mitch's eyes were glassy by this point. The tears slowly reached the edge and spilled over. 

Scott was at a loss for words. He couldn't even reply as he tried to process what Mitch was saying.

“All we do is argue and you don’t touch me the same way you used to. You don’t just hold me or kiss the back of my neck like you used to.  You don’t want to spend time with just me, you always have to be out somewhere or with someone else… “ 

“It’s been one week, Mitch! Damn, give me a bit of time to adjust before you decide what’s different.” 

“No. I know you’re different.”

Scott felt the tears in his own eyes but he pushed them down. His chest felt heavy as the reality of what might happen threatened to stop his heart. “So what is this? Is this your way of telling me you made a mistake? That you thought I was what you wanted but you changed your mind?” 

Mitch was quiet, trying to figure out what he wanted to say. 

“Don't sugar coat it, just spit it out.” 

“You’re not him. I want my Scott back.” 

What do you say to that? What is the proper reply to a statement like that!?

He didn't know and he didn’t want to get mad, or say something he’d regret later, or just break down, so he grabbed his keys and walked out the door. 

_

He was already on the highway before he realized he couldn’t go where he had been headed. Zac wouldn’t want to see him, especially in regards to a problem with Mitch. He didn’t know where the hell to go. His best friends were the 'maybe or maybe not boyfriend', 2 exes (one of which had basically said he never wanted to see Scott ever again), and MITCH’s best friend who would undoubtedly be preoccupied w/ the 'maybe or maybe not boyfriend'. 

He drove for awhile ending up right back where he’d started. He couldn’t talk to Zac’s friends, he couldn’t talk to Avi or Esther or Ryan or Darian they were all Mitch’s friend’s first. So he sat in the parking lot, staring at his steering wheel trying to keep himself together. 

What the hell was he supposed to do? 

_________

Mitch immediately knew he’d screwed up on an epic scale, yet again. 

He grabbed his phone and texted Scott, spouting off a ton of ‘i’m sorry’ texts. He didn’t get any replies and just knew he’d blown it… AGAIN. 

Mitch: he hates me 

Mitch: i never learn to keep my mouth shut

Kirstie: what did u do?

Mitch: he’s gone

Kirstie: srsly?! 

Kirstie was PISSED. Actually she was more than pissed.. she was LIVID.  She stomped her way up to Mitch’s and opened the door, not even knowing where to start. 

“Seriously? It’s been a WEEK! You can’t keep doing this! What in the world did you do now?” 

“He’s not the same. I told him how I felt, and he left. He just walked out. I don't even know if we're still together.” 

Kirstie was ready to strangle him. “What did you say!?” 

Mitch recapped the entire conversation. 

“You are honestly either the world’s biggest idiot, or the world’s biggest dick! It’s been a fu¢king week, Mitchell.” 

“It wouldn’t matter! He’s different! He isn’t the same man I fell in love with.” 

“and you know that after 7 damn days?” 

“YES!” 

 "You know, I always thought if you loved someone you loved all of them no matter what. It's nice to know you can change your mind so quickly." 

"It's not like that! He's not even the same person right now!" 

“I asked you.  I ASKED you if you were sure. Zac loved him. Zac was WONDERFUL to him. I helped you take him away from that because you assured me that he was everything you'd ever want. He lost his best friend and someone that would have loved and adored him... all for you. I don't even know how you can even think-" 

"I do love him! I love him all the way down to my core, but that man is not him!"

Kirstie honestly wanted to punch him. She was getting angrier with every passing second.  

”You swore you would never hurt him again!" 

Mitch looked away from the angry brown eyes, knowing she was right. He was such a fu¢k up.

"You are-" she cut off at the sound of the door opening behind her, and a somber looking Scott walked back in. 

She looked from him to Mitch again, giving him one last glare.

“I’ll leave you two alone.” She walked out past Scott, giving his arm a supportive squeeze. She left hoping Mitch would take his foot out of his mouth before he screwed it up again.

Mitch took a deep breath. 

Scott just looked at him, not knowing what to say. He wanted to fix it, wanted to know what words to say to keep the train from crashing into the brick wall. “Do you want me to leave?” 

“No. I want you to be you.” 

“I am me, Mitch. This is me. I don’t know what you want me to say, or do, but this is me. I’m sorry it’s not what you wanted. I hate that you don’t feel the same way about me anymore, but I can’t not be me.” 

“But… you aren’t.” 

Scott sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, gripping it in frustration. “We’re going in circles. So you want me to be scared all of the time? You want me to be self conscious and worried about everyone besides myself?” 

"No. That's not what I'm saying." 

"But, it is. You're telling me that I'm not who you want because I have confidence now. I'm finally happy with myself and now you're not. What am I supposed to say to that, Mitch? How am I supposed to feel about that?"

"I'm not saying this right. It's not that you're confident, or that you're not afraid anymore. It's how you are in relation to me. You don’t see it, but I can. I can see it when you look at me. You don't seem happy that you're here. You're hard and distant, but you go through the motions like everything is ok. You hold my hand and kiss me and say the right things, but your eyes aren't there. It's like you don't really want me. You look at me differently, like I’m not… attractive to you anymore.” Mitch looked away then, his voice breaking. 

Scott was stunned into silence. Mitch thought he didn’t think he was attractive? Mitch? 

"I know my hair is still a damn mess, and I'm no Zac Efron, but-"

Scott walked right over and interrupted him by throwing the confused and upset man over his shoulder and carried him into the bedroom and set him down on his feet. 

Mitch opened his mouth to protest but Scott filled the void with his tongue as he kissed him. It took a moment but Mitch relaxed again against him and returned his kiss. 

After a moment Scott pulled his mouth from Mitch's and turned him by the shoulders to face the full length mirror. 

“Do you see that? Mitch, you’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen. EVER.” Scott stood behind him sliding his hands over his shoulders then up to his jawline. “This face is flawless” His hands slid down to the buttons of Mitch's shirt and slowly he began to unbutton them as his lips kissed the back of his neck sweetly. “This body is beyond words” Scott finally parted the sides of his shirt and slid it down his shoulders and off. He let his hand slide over the bare chest and down over his stomach.

Mitch's eyes were locked on their reflection. He was trying to focus, trying to remember why he was upset in the first place, but this was too sexy, and for the moment he really felt like Scott wanted him. He really believed that right then Scott thought he was sexy. 

Scott DID think he was sexy.

He was getting more and more turned on the more he looked at Mitch. The man had always had that effect on him, but for some reason right now it felt more intense than ever. 

He slid his hand over the bulge between Mitch’s legs and palmed it gently, rubbing his fingers over it, eliciting a small gasp from the brunette. 

“And this…” Scott breathed huskily into his ear “perfection…” 

Mitch swallowed as he realized he could hear himself breathing heavily. Scott’s hands slid up to his hips and pulled him back with a jerk so that his ass pressed against Scott’s growing arousal and the taller pressed his hips forward to press against him. 

“I love you and I love this and I love every inch of you and your perfect, hard body and every inch of your beautiful face” He nuzzled his face into the crook of Mitch's neck, inhaling the scent of his skin. He switched up the mood a bit as he slid his hands over Mitch's and intertwined their fingers, wrapping both of their arms around him. "I love you, so much."

Mitch couldn’t help but smile. This was his Scott… 

His Scott was loving, just like this Scott that was holding him and pressing tiny, sweet kisses to his neck.

But all of that brought him back to his point. “Then why don’t you say it?” 

Scott was quiet for a second, but the answer came after another moment  “I’m protecting myself…”

“From what?” He knew the answer even before he’d finished asking the question and wished he hadn't asked. Scott whispered it quietly against the skin of his shoulder. 

“From you.” 

There was his Scott again, vulnerable and frightened. 

“You have no reason to worry! I swear I won’t ever do that again.”

“I know, Baby, I know.  I just have to.” 

And again a glimpse of his Scott. 

“alright.” 

“Just bear with me, ok?” 

Mitch nodded, his eyes finding Scott’s reflected in the mirror. 

This was His Scott, right now holding him in his arms. He had him back at least for that moment and that made all of the problems seem so pointless. 

This was enough.

“I love you” his Scott whispered to him. 

“I love you too, Scott” 

____________________

A/N Again - so this is nearing its end. I'll be wrapping it up soon. I have like a million and one ideas but not too sure what I want to start after this book has ended. If anyone has any fun ideas for stories or suggestions please let me know! I like inspiration.  :) :) As always I love you all and thank you for sticking with me through this.