It was impossible. 

Scott was too much of a wreck, and Mitch had screwed up too horribly. 

He couldn’t see any way out of it. They’d been sitting there for almost two hours and were still no closer to finding an answer than they had been when they’d started. He put his chin in his hand as he started to lose hope. 

“Is kidnapping him in the middle of the night, and dragging him back here completely out of line??” Mitch pouted up at Kirstie. 

Her face was screwed up in concentration, but she took the time to give him a look. 

She was racking her brain for a way and after another 10 minutes her eyes locked onto Scott’s journal. 

It gave her an idea and she leapt to her feet.

“Mitch, I GOT IT!!!” 

He looked up at her skeptically. She had already had a few “ideas” and none of them had been any better than his kidnapping idea. But this time she was grinning from ear to ear, dancing from foot to foot in excitement. 

“You’re gonna get him back. I know just how to do it.” 

He couldn’t stop his grin as he listened to her plan. 

It was perfect. 

PERFECT. 

They just had to get started, which they wasted no time in doing. 

~

Scott wasn’t sure how many times he’d listened to Mitch's message. The count had to be at least 10. 

Why he kept replaying it, he wasn’t sure. He wasn’t sure of a lot of things. When he wasn’t listening to the message, Zac’s words replayed again in his head. 

I’m in love with you…

When had that happened? When had he earned the love he’d been so desperately trying to get so many years ago? He felt suddenly completely undeserving. He doubted his love for Zac. He did love him, but how much? Could he give himself to Zac completely? 

Yes.

Was he IN love with Zac?

Maybe.

Could he ever love him as much as he loved Mitch? 

He doubted it. Maybe eventually, but is that what he wanted? 

It was all giving him a headache. He finally erased the message and lay back in bed, turning on the television and searching for a movie to watch. 

He needed a comedy. 

~

It took the greater part of that night for Mitch and Kirstie to finish it, to make it absolutely perfect. Mitch had been extra critical of it, but Kirstie was sure it was perfect. She herself had gotten emotional at the finished product.

Yeah, if this didn’t show Scott where he needed to be, then nothing would. Neither even cared that they hardly got any sleep.

Mitch awoke the next morning with renewed hope. 

He spent extra time getting ready, so much so that Kirstie had come upstairs wondering where the heck he was. He had to look at least presentable, even if he would be sweaty and gross by the time he confronted Scott. 

“What the hell possessed me to shave my head again!?” He made a face at himself in the mirror, still mortified at the lack of hair on his head. He pouted. 

Kirstie appeared and plopped a beanie on his head. 

“I don’t know, but I’m SO glad you realize the error of your ways.” 

He gave her a look as he adjusted the hat and she grinned cutely.

He looked at himself in the mirror one last time before grabbing his bag and heading to the studio. For the first time in months he had a smile on his face.

~

Everything seemed normal. 

The day was going well. He had found a bit of distraction when he’d gone out with some of his “new” friends the night before.

Really they were Zac’s friends, but they were actually really fun. He didn’t mind hanging out with them, even when Zac wasn't there. They were no Kirstie and Mitch but, then again he wasn’t sure anyone would ever compare to them. 

Classes went well and Esther had even gone to lunch with him so he didn’t eat alone. 

Things were good.

There was only about 7 minutes of his last class left when normal flew right out the window. He was thrown for a loop when the door opened and Mitch appeared. He quietly made his way to the back of the room and sat down to wait for Scott to finish. 

Scott didn’t know what to do. He was completely distracted. 

What the hell is he doing here?!

He turned on the music to let his students go through the dance one more time, but his eyes kept moving to Mitch who had his eyes glued to him. 

At least he looked like Mitch again, sort of. The entire lack of hair peeking out from that beanie still unnerved him.

When the music was over he dismissed everyone and grabbed his bottle of water and gently wiped the sweat from his face and neck with a towel. 

Mitch was now standing and heading over to him. His heart felt like it was going to hammer a hole right through his ribcage. 

He had the urge to grab his stuff and run, but his feet stayed planted. 

“Hey.” he forced out. 

_

Mitch had been more than nervous. 

He’d been standing outside of Scott’s door for at least 5 minutes before he finally got up the courage to sneak inside and wait for his class to be over. 

It had taken even MORE courage for him to actually move towards him. He hated being nervous around him. All he wanted to do was run into his arms and kiss his lips and hold on for dear life. 

“Hey.” Scott spoke first. 

Mitch didn’t reply, he just took a deep breath and pulled Scott’s journal from his bag and handed it to him. 

“Thank you, for trusting me with this. I never meant the words I said to you that night, but I’m glad I read it. I feel like I know you a lot better now.” 

Scott took the journal from him and nodded. He tossed it down into his own bag.

He turned to Mitch again and watched as he pulled a second book from his bag and held it out for him.

Scott looked at it a bit confused, but took it. “What’s this?” 

“You told me to read your journal and I did. Now I need you to look at this and tell me, tell yourself that I never loved you, that I STILL don’t love you, because I always have and I always will. I know you still love me too.” 

Scott wanted to protest, but he couldn’t seem to make a sound. His mouth felt dry and the words stuck in his throat. 

“I know you care about him. You always have, but we, me and you, were meant for each other, Scott. I know it. I feel it. You’re my it. My everything. I know I don’t deserve you, but if you just give me another chance I swear I’ll be better. I’ve changed. I’ve learned. Just look at this, please.” 

He turned to walk away, but he turned back after just two steps. 

“If you choose him, it’s ok. I know he can give you things I never could, and I know he’ll treat you the way you deserve to be. I know he’ll make you happy. But… I’ll never stop loving you. Ever. It’ll always be you. Only you.” 

He turned and made his way out the door, trying to calm his trembling hands. 

If this didn’t work, then nothing would.

Now, all he could do was wait.

.

Scott didn’t know what to do, so he just stood there staring after him, holding onto the book in his hands. 

What just happened?

_ 

Mitch sat in his apartment with Kirstie that night eating pizza and watching tv. Mitch couldn’t really focus. He was too anxious. 

He wanted to know if Scott had even looked at it yet. What if it didn’t work? What if he didn’t even look at it at all!?? What if Scott really didn’t still love him? What if he chose Zac? What would he do then? 

He got depressed again and Kirstie worked her hardest to pull him out of it. She assured him that Scott would look at it, that he would realize what he had lost and he’d figure it all out. It probably wouldn’t be immediately but he’d realize he needed him. He may need time, he may need DAYS or WEEKS. Mitch didn’t know if he could stand it that long, but Kirstie tried to distract him again. It worked, at least a for a little bit, but then his mind went right back to worrying. 

He wondered what Scott was doing right then. 

~

Scott hadn’t even opened the book. 

He was slightly afraid of what would be inside. He’d driven home with the book in the passengers seat and had kept glancing sideways at it as if he feared it would suddenly jump up and attack him like those books from Harry Potter.. 

He’d laid it on the bed he shared with Zac as he took a shower and changed. Then he moved it to the counter as he made himself dinner. He kept relocating it, telling himself he’d read it while he was doing this or that, but he just couldn’t. 

He kept putting it off. 

He put it next to him as he climbed into bed and watched some TV, but finally he couldn’t put it off anymore. He grabbed it and pulled it into his lap as he sat against the headboard. 

Still he lingered for a moment, staring at the black leather binding. 

Finally he opened to the first page and staring back at him was the first page of a scrapbook. A picture of him sitting sideways on a grinning Mitch's lap on a bench on the boardwalk, his arms wrapped around his neck was on the left. On the bottom right was a picture of himself smiling, Mitch kissing his cheek. 

Across the top in an arch were the words… 

 We’re Meant For Each Other… 

And on the bottom right corner - Remember

Scott remembered. 

He remembered every single moment captured in this book. He remembered the love he’d felt at every kiss, every hug, every touch, every smile…  

As he flipped through page after page, it got harder and harder to continue.

There were pictures of him and Mitch with the kids at the studio, there were pictures of them with the other instructors...

There were pictures of he, Mitch and Kirstie doing all kinds of random things, like they’d always done. There were even a few pictures of himself sleeping. He had no clue when Mitch had taken those, but the fact that he had caused the tears to begin to build up behind his eyes. 

There were movie ticket stubs and concert tickets and even tickets to Disney Land. 

He hadn’t had any idea Mitch kept any of this stuff. 

There were pictures of him and Mitch wrestling. Those were Kirstie’s. He remembered her taking them and yelling at them from the sidelines not to hurt each other. They’d ended up with Scott tickling Mitch until he cried. He’d had to do a bit of extra groveling that night to make up for it, but it had been worth it to hear the desperate giggles Mitch had been releasing.

And then there was a picture from Jen’s birthday party. He couldn’t figure out at first why this picture was even in there, but then he noticed them in the background, sitting angled towards each other, staring at one another with looks of complete love and adoration, oblivious to the party going on around them. 

Scott felt the first tear fall as he let himself remember.

- 

"Mitch, you’ve had 2 pieces of cake already.” 

“And?! It’s gluten free and you can never have enough cake!” The brunette said as he sat down with a third piece, smiling at Scott suggestively.

“You’re going to be soooo sick later from all of that sugar…” 

“Well that’s fine because I’ll have you there to make it all better…” Mitch grinned up at his boyfriend and held up a piece of cake on his fork up to Scott’s mouth. Scott made a face and shook his head. 

“C’mon, even YOU can’t say that this cake is bad.”

Scott couldn’t resist and he grinned before taking a bite. 

Mitch beamed. “See,  it’s good!” and he proceeded to eat a few more bites before just randomly stopping to stare at Scott, who finally noticed out of the corner of his eye. “What?”

“Nothing. I just love you.” 

Scott laughed a bit. “Well, I guess it’s a good thing I love you too…” 

Mitch simply smiled and went back to his cake. 

 -

Scott remembered it well. 

There were pictures of them laughing, picture of them kissing, pictures of them holding each other. He laughed as he got to a picture of Mitch burying his head in his chest because he was hiding the tears he’d cried during “The Notebook” and Kirstie had tried to take his picture because he was “so cute when he cried”. 

Scott missed them. He missed them more than he thought he ever could, but mostly he missed the man who seemed to be in his arms in every picture. 

When he got to the end there was a DVD attached to the back cover that simply said… 

Reminder

He wasn't sure his heart could handle more, but he slipped it out of the sleeve and got up to put it in the dvd player before he climbed back in bed and turned it on. 

A vision of Mitch greeted him, obviously trying to set up the camera, and then he sat down in a chair in the middle of the screen. He didn’t say anything for a second and he looked to a person out of the shot. “I don’t think I’m doing this right”

“Is the red light on?” Kirstie was obviously in the background. 

The screen flickered a bit causing Scott to laugh and shake his head.

Then Mitch was back sitting in the same position, his eyes looking off screen, probably at Kirstie. 

“Ok? ok.” and then his eyes looked as if they were looking right at Scott. 

“What to say. Um, Scott, I know I messed up, really bad, and I know that you hate me right now, but I know in my heart that I can never love anyone else. I can’t even LOOK at anyone else without thinking about you. 

You have no idea how much I miss you, how much I need you. I read your journal and I know you. I know the real you. And I still want to know more.

You had this strange vision of a perfect me, but I’m not! I’m not perfect at all. I’m loud and obnoxious and I’m unsure of myself 99% of the time. I’m jealous and I’m needy and more than stubborn and I make mistakes. I make a lot of mistakes. Sometimes really big ones.”

Mitch stopped for a moment, clearly almost breaking down, but he took a deep breath and managed to continue on.

“I’m not the Mitch that you put on a pedestal. I’m just me and I’m human. I had a moment of weakness and I can’t change it. If I could I would. Know that I would go through hell to take it back, you have no idea. 

There’s only three things in my life that I’ve ever been absolutely 100% sure about and that’s dancing, Kirstie, and loving you. I don’t care what anyone else says, you were meant to get that job and you were meant to show up early because I can’t imagine my life without you in it, Scott. Even now, as much as it hurts, seeing your face at the studio makes my day. Every time. 

Can’t you just see that when we were together you were happier than you had been in years? You love me and I know it. I KNOW you love me as much as I love you. I know it because you’ve shown me over and over and over again and I read it  in your personal thoughts. 

I know it will be hard to regain your trust again, but I’m not worried, because I would never betray it ever again. I’ll do anything to get you back in my life, back in my arms. 

I just needed you to know that you’re my forever. Only you. That’s how long I’ll wait if I have to. 

I love you so much, and I always, always will.

I love you.” 

Mitch was wiping at his tears as the screen flickered again. This time it was Kirstie in front of the camera. 

“Hi Scott! Its me, Kirstin!!” She waved cutely at him and he couldn’t help but laugh a bit through his tears. 

“So anyways, I just have to tell you that I love you and you know I always look out for your best interests, because… well… I love you. 

But what you should know is that I’ve known Mitch for a really long time and I’ve never seen him the way he was when he was with you. I know he loves you, and I know he wishes he’d never made that mistake because losing you has nearly killed him. Scottie when you two are together it gives the rest of us hope.  

I mean, I had the hugest crush on you when we first met, and I was a bit miffed when I could tell you weren’t in to me like that.  

Whatever, I’m over it.

But when I saw the way you looked at Mitch, I could see the love in your eyes and I could just feel it whenever you were around each other. You both made me want to feel that. I wanted to dance for no reason. I wanted to stare at someone just because. I wanted to lay on the couch in someone’s arms and just be happy being with them. 

I want what you two had and I know you want it back. I know you, and I know him. If you two aren’t meant for each other how can love even be real? 

Because you two are real and if you realize that and do nothing about it, then you’ll just be living that lie. 

Just remember Scott. Just watch this and remember. Then come back home.” 

With one last smile Kirstie got up and the screen flicked to a home movie. 

Scott remembered it. He was the one taping. 

“Say something.” 

“What do you want me to say?” Mitch barely looked up from his bowl of cereal as Scott walked around him. 

“Say hello to the camera.” 

“I don’t want to.” Mitch's nose wrinkled cutely and he finally raised his eyes to the screen “Why did you buy that thing anyways?” 

“Because I love you and I want to remember your pretty face forever and ever.” 

Mitch rolled his eyes but the smile crept up his lips slowly. “I hate you, you realize that, right?” 

“You love me” 

Mitch only grinned more and Scott’s finger appeared to poke at one of his dimples.

“Stooooppp” Mitch whined, but his smile stayed put.

“Tell me.” 

Mitch flung a piece of cereal at him. 

“C’mon, say it.” 

Mitch was grinning from ear to ear. 

“You definitely love me” 

Mitch's hand reached out and disappeared off camera, the frame shook and all that could be seen was the ceiling for a moment. Scott laughed. “you’re gonna make me drop it…” 

The screen flickered. 

~

Scott laughed. Mitch had reached out and grabbed a hold of his boxers and pulled him close for a kiss. He closed his eyes, remembering the feel of those lips on his.

~

Scott watched dozens and dozens of clips of home movies, of he and Mitch teaching together, of them dancing in Mitch’s living room. 

Then there was a solo that Mitch had done. Scott had been there sitting in the front row, beaming up at him. He knew this solo was his. Mitch had been dancing just for him, and even though there were hundreds watching him, it was still only for Scott. 

There was a point where Mitch covered his heart and he smiled briefly at someone in the audience. Scott knew it was him. He’d felt so special, knowing that Mitch had given him a secret smile. 

~

“KIRSCOMICHE!!!!!” Kirstie was holding the camera and had walked in on Mitch and Scott choreographing a dance. 

Partition played in the background. 

The two boys both stopped mid move and looked up at the newcomer and simultaneously said “Kirscomiche!!!” then looked at each other and burst into giggles.

“So what are my compadres up to?” Kirstie’s voice asked. 

“We are working..” Scott answered… 

“We’re just messin’ around. Choreo for ourselves for once.” Mitch grinned. 

“What kind of choreo!? Wait, is it something dirty? ‘Cause I will TOTALLY stick around for that!” 

“Of course, just an excuse for us to hump each other at every moment.” Mitch answered with a serious face.

Scott just grabbed him and wrapped a leg around him and made a humping motion before they all burst out laughing.

“It’s obviously a dance about loooveee” Scott said with a flutter of his eyelashes dramatically.

“Ooooh, yeahh… the NASTY kinda luvvvveeeeee” Mitch grinned. 

“Our love is NOT nasty!” 

“Oohoho, I beg to differ!”

“I am pure as the first winter snow!” Scott gave him a look.

The arguing continued playfully as Kirstie turned the camera to herself. “why I’m friends with these people… LORD.only.knows.” 

~~

Then Mitch was back on the screen holding the camera. He knew it was from when they were together because Mitch still had that gorgeous hair he’d loved to run his fingers through. 

“Scott, I know I’m not supposed to be playing with this thing, but… I just have to show you something.” He was whispering softly and then he tiptoed into the bedroom. A sleeping Scott, sprawled out on his stomach, head turned to the side, came into frame. 

“Remember when I told you that you look so innocent in your sleep. See! This is what I mean. How the hell do you zoom on this …oh…” the picture zoomed in on Scott’s face. 

“Look. You see that? How beautiful you are?” Mitch was walking closer and then he  zoomed back out. 

“This is how I can just watch you sleep. Because I just love it.” The image of Scott sleeping stayed on the screen for a little while with a bit more commentary from Mitch. 

And then Mitch's face came back into frame. “I hope you aren’t grouchy in the morning because we’re going to Disney Land! Oh, and please don’t hate me for playing with your toy. I was really careful, I swear! I love youuuuu” and then his lips came at the screen as if he were kissing it and it all went black.

Scott actually hoped there was more, but that was the end. 

He was spent. 

His heart was achy and tired. His eyes burned from the constant flow of tears. 

He ached all over. 

He missed Mitch more than ever in that moment. He missed having him in his arms, just holding him for no reason. He missed that smile. He missed their stupid jokes and he just missed everything about him. 

He missed every moment on this DVD. 

But that had never been the problem. He knew all of this, he’d never forgotten. It just hurt all over again. 

He wished that he’d waited for Zac to return before he’d gone through this alone. He hadn’t felt this vulnerable since the night he’d lost Mitch. 

He wasn’t sure what to do. 

He tried to call Zac, hoping for something to keep him from breaking down, but he got voicemail. It was almost 1 am anyway. 

He watched the DVD through one more time all the way to the end. 

He started it over again, closing his eyes and listening to Mitch’s speech at the beginning. 

Suddenly, despite the hour he grabbed his phone and sent off a text. 

To Mitch: Can I come over?