AN Ok Ive written and rewritten this about 10 times and each one has just been horrible.  So for now this is as good as its going to get without me ripping my hair out. One day i will probably come back to this and rewrite it to a point that is actually satisfactory, but for now it is what it is so we can move past this lol Sorry again :) 

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Mitch: Are you alone?

Kirstie: yes?

Mitch: I need u

Mitch: pls

Kirstie: OMW

A worried Kirstie threw on some slippers and hurried upstairs to Mitch’s place. She could tell just by the texts that he’d sent that something was wrong.

“Mitchie?” She quietly opened his bedroom door and felt her heart constrict.

He was sitting on the side of the bed, tears streaming from his eyes. “I messed up. I messed up so bad and I don’t know how to fix it.”

His face contorted in anguish.

She rushed to his side, pulling him into her arms. He practically collapsed into her.

“Hon, talk to me.”

He looked up, meeting her eyes.  “He’s gone, Kit. He’s gone and it’s all my fault.”

~~~

Scott tried to compose himself. He sat in his car outside of his apartment for over an hour before finally going inside.

Zac was laying on the couch reading, and was quite surprised  to see the other man.

“Hey, stranger.”

He'd missed Scott a lot more than he'd let on.  He’d only been gone a couple of days, but he’d been distant for far longer. He missed his best friend, especially now when he was going through some of the most confusing days of his life. He had his own internal struggle going on at the moment, but it was completely forgotten as he got a good look at the younger boy.

“Heeeyyy, what happened?” He sat up and put the book on the coffee table, adjusting the glasses on his face. He didn’t get an answer.

He couldn’t remember ever seeing such a dispirited look on Scott’s face. The puffy red eyes full of defeat and tears that threatened to fall again, the hunched shoulders…  

His eyes suddenly found the mark on his neck.

Mitch.

There was no one else it could have been. He had known something was going on with those two. Scott was infatuated with him, and he’d been able to tell that Mitch was practically smitten with Scott as well.  

By the look of it things hadn't gone as planned and Mitch had somehow hurt Scott..   and that was just unacceptable.

He lifted his arm and shifted to make room, beckoning for Scott to join him.

“C’mere you”

Scott seemed so tired as he shuffled over to him, feet dragging. He laid against him, snuggling in and closing his eyes. It probably looked quite comical as Scott was over half a foot taller than he, but no one else was there to see it.

They lay that way for awhile in silence.

“Why don’t you go get a shower and get ready for bed. I’ll stay with you and you can tell me when you’re ready, ok?”

Scott nodded a bit, but he didn’t move. At least here in Zac’s arms he didn’t feel like he was losing shape and form, melting into a puddle of nothing.

His phone rang.

He pressed his eyes closed for a moment before fishing the device from his pocket. His heart ached as he saw the name displayed.

MiTcH ♥

He didn’t answer. He probably just wanted something and Scott felt completely used up at the moment. He could always call Kirstie if it was important. He set the phone down on the coffee table and headed into the bathroom, leaving Zac to wonder what the hell had happened.

~

He made sure the water was extra hot. Right now he just felt numb and the extreme heat made him at least feel something that could momentarily distract him.

He kept seeing the scene play over again. And over. And over…

The complete finality on Mitch's face as he drove home the fact that he wasn’t his boyfriend, the sardonic smile and wave as he left..   

I don’t need you anymore.

No one could see him there in the shower. No one could see his fragility. No one could see him as he slid down the shower wall and buried his face in his knees, for the moment not caring about anything except the proverbial knife twisting into his heart.

He wouldn't have been able to stop the tears that mixed with the water sliding down the drain anyway.

~

Seven times. Zac let him call seven times before he could take it no more and he grabbed Scott’s phone and put it on silent. Mitch was quite persistent, if anything.

He left the couch as he heard the bathroom door open and then Scott’s footsteps on the wooden floor heading towards his room.

He grabbed a couple bottles of water from the fridge and some tissues just in case. Scott probably wouldn’t cry. He wasn’t really a crier, (unless he was watching a kids movie, then all bets were off) but he did seem extremely upset and it was obvious he’d already shed tears, so he thought it best to be prepared.

He turned off all of the lights around the apartment and quietly walked into Scott’s room.

He was just sitting there, propped up on the pillows, staring at the blank television screen on the wall across from him. Zac set the tissues and water on the nightstand and climbed in, pulling Scott against him and into his arms. Scott’s face burrowed into his chest and he held tightly to him.

There was silence for close to 10 minutes, but then Scott just started talking. 

He told him every single detail from Thursday night when he’d gone over for dinner up until Mitch's abrupt dismissal just a couple of hours ago.

Zac listened, running his fingers through Scott’s hair, rubbing his back, trying to soothe the upset man in his arms.

“He told me-” He cut off, closing his eyes as the pain nearly overwhelmed him into tears again.  “He said.. I’m yours. How did I misread that? How did I -”

Zac was angry.  He tried to be objective, but his interpretation of Scott’s story was that Mitch had taken advantage of Scott’s idolization and used him until he didn’t need him anymore. No one hurt Scott, not even Mitch Grassi himself.

“Zac…”

“Yea, Skeeter?”

He pulled from Zac’s arms and sat up looking at him. “I have to tell you something.”

Zac sat up as well and nodded, feeling an almost sense of dread sitting in the pit of his stomach. Scott looked so serious and was making sure to keep contact with Zac’s eyes.   

“Anything.”

Scott took a deep breath. Zac already pretty much knew this, but saying it felt monumental.  “I…”

He hesitated. He hated that this was so hard. If he couldn’t tell Zac there was no way in hell he was going to make it through telling Angel.

Zac placed a hand on his arm to reassure him. He relaxed a bit.

“I’m gay.”

Zac nodded. He knew how hard that was to say out loud. He himself was still dealing with it. The act was one thing, but admitting it, declaring it was a whole different ballgame. He had so much pride for Scott in that moment that he could have burst with it. He pulled him into his arms and hugged him tight.

“I know. I know and I’m so proud of you.” He mumbled into the blonde hair as he placed a kiss to the top of his head.

~

This was where the tears came again. There were too many emotions inside of his heart to make sense of it all and it overwhelmed him.

He had to talk to Angel. Even if Mitch wasn’t an option, which was pretty apparent, it still wasn’t fair to do any of this to her. She couldn’t find the love of her life if Scott continued using her as a crutch. He loved her, he really and truly did, but not the way that she loved him. That just wasn’t fair. He hated that he was going to make her feel like he was currently feeling, but she would move on and find someone who loved her the way she deserved to be loved. He just hoped he would be so lucky.

“I have to tell her.”

Zac pulled back and looked at him, his memories of his own breakup still fresh and painful. He hadn’t told Vanessa everything about him, but he’d said enough.

“It’s hard, and it hurts.”

“I know. But I love her. I love her and I have to let her go.”

Zac nodded.

“What about…” He paused.  Scott’s father was about as homophobic as they came. He was super religious in a twisted way and he’d filled Scott’s head full of anger, hurt and lies growing up. He hadn’t had the best relationship with his family, but for some reason once he’d started dating Angel that had improved and Scott’s father had actually become halfway tolerable. Sort of. He didn’t know how Scott was going to deal with his father now.  

“...what about your dad?”

Scott shook his head, not ready to cross that bridge yet.

“I don’t know. I think I’m just going to tell them we broke up. I don’t think I can tell them the truth yet. Part of me wants to say to hell with them, but they’re also my parents.”

Zac had to bite his lip to keep from replying with a biting remark. Scott’s father had abused him for a good portion of his life, so there was a deeply ingrained fear that Scott had of him.  He wasn’t sure if it was general fear of the man or a fear of disappointing him.

Zac really just wanted to kick his teeth in.  He’d deserve it.

“Can you stay here tonight?” His voice was quiet, almost afraid to ask, but Zac was quick to give him a little squeeze of reassurance. 

“Of course.”

Scott was mentally drained and after a bit more talking and tears, he found himself falling asleep wrapped snugly in the other man’s arms. Here he felt safe. Zac would never hurt him, Zac would protect him like he always had.

If only Zac’s arms could protect him from his own mind and the nightmares it created...

~

Mitch left message after message on Scott's voicemail.  Kirstie even tried to call, but still he didn't answer. So he tried texting. About 15 messages later and he still had no response.

“Why won’t he just answer!!!” Mitch stared at the phone again, before tossing it across the room and watching it collide with the wall before falling to the floor. Kirstie just calmly went to retrieve the, luckily, unharmed device.

The tears flowed- keen, poignant agonies blazing a trail down his face. His eyes burned.

He was frustrated with himself and frustrated that he couldn’t get Scott to answer so that he could remedy the situation.  

He had begged Kirstie to drive him to Scott’s so that he could apologize, but she had refused, saying he would probably need time. Besides, he might not even be there.  

He didn’t want to give him time, he wanted him there in his bed, holding him and telling him dumb stories that never had a point. He wanted his hands rubbing his back gently as they started to fall asleep. He wanted him back in his arms where he belonged.

Kirstie promised that she would take him tomorrow, but that wasn’t good enough. He didn’t want to push him back to Angel, but it was already done. This was the end of what had never even gotten completely started. 

He nearly fell apart when he spotted Scott’s glasses sitting there on his nightstand. The blonde had forgotten them in his haste to leave.

He forgot them because he was trying to get away from ME. He was here. I had him and I pushed him away. He was here…

~

Kirstie tried her best to console him, but Mitch was far too scattered to listen to anything she said. He needed to get some of it out before she could even begin trying to reason with her friend. She just let him rant and while he did she cleaned up the melted ice cream mess he’d left on the dresser and put the remaining couple of cookies away. Finally after a couple of meltdowns she sat down on the bed next to him. She had a feeling he wasn't going to like what she had to say.

She loved Scott, but she’d had her own doubts about him and Mitch before this whole debacle had even happened. She was pretty convinced Scott would have just hurt Mitch in the end anyway. He hadn't sounded at all like a man about to break up with his girlfriend when she had heard him talking to her and his little panic attack when she had discovered their liasons hadn't done anything but convince her that this was going to end badly. 

“Look, I know you are sad that he’s gone, and maybe you could have gone about it in a different way, but you weren’t really wrong. I know you shouldn’t have had so much to drink, but-”

“I WAS! I was about a hundred miles from right! He was getting better, I swear! He was going to leave her for me. He was going to choose me, I know it. I could see it in his eyes. He was trying so hard, Kit. He wasn’t playing he was really trying and he was-”

He cut off again, swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat. He knew she was partially right. He didn’t want to admit it, but he had a lot of fears and doubts when it came to Scott. His heart had so many hopes for them that the reality would never live up to. Maybe Kirstie was right.

"There's no way he'll want to even be friends with me anymore."

He just closed his eyes and turned his back to Kirstie, curling into a ball. He pulled the comforter over him.

Kirstie didn’t hesitate just climbed beneath the covers next to him and let him cry himself to sleep in her arms.

She briefly thought it seemed a bit of an extreme reaction for only a couple of days worth of an affair, but the two of them had been involved in an intricate dance around each other for far longer.

They may have only been honest about it for two days, but it had been real for them for weeks.  

It’ll be ok, Mittens. It will be, somehow.

She tried to come up with ideas to help fix it, but they faded away as she too fell asleep.