The day started out beautifully.

Mitch had a friend in the area who had a house with their own private stretch of beach. The friend was currently out of town, but Mitch still had access.

They had it all to themselves.

They spent hours goofing around like kids.  They danced on the sand,  goofed off in the water. Scott had suggested volleyball, but Mitch complained he had the height advantage so that wasn't fair.

They were currently laying on the beach blanket, trying to find shapes in the clouds.

"That one is ..." Scott started.

"...a one-eared bunny." Mitch interrupted and looked at him with a cheeky smile.

"Noooo.  It's a brachiosaurus." Scott laughed.

Mitch raised an eyebrow and turned his eyes back to the sky. "Maybe without a head."

"It's right there." Scott pointed.

"I think you just have terrible eyes."

"OoooK"

They looked over at each other and erupted into giggles.

~

"If I break my face, I'm blaming you." Scott turned to Mitch with a look. 

"Please, don't do that." Mitch laughed.

Scott giggled and made his first attempt at a handstand.   Mitch hurried over and steadied his legs, laughing the entire time.  "You are lit.er.ally 50 feet tall like this! Tighten your tummy muscles." He couldn't stop laughing and eventually Scott lost his balance they both fell to the sand laughing in a heap.

~

"There is no way that this Queen would ever set foot in a castle like THAT."  He pointed to Scott's sand "castle" that was really more of a sand dome. 

"That's because it's a castle of the future.  Domes are in, spires are out!" 

Mitch threw back his head and laughed at how serious Scott's face was.

Scott's eyes widened suddenly as he had an idea. "You should build little future dome dwellers to live in it!" he said all excited. 

Mitch laughed and got down on his knees beside him, digging his fingers into the wet sand.  He looked at Scott and sang, "Do you want to build a sandman....." 

They  both looked at each other and managed to keep a straight face for about 2 seconds before they both lost it and couldn't stop laughing.

~

"You are going to turn into a lobster if you don't put more sunscreen on, Sasha."

Scott grumbled and put his drink down.  "Fine, fine." He took the lotion from Mitch's outstretched hand  and began to put it on.  About midway through a thought came to mind.

"Hey, Misha, do you think you could do me a favor and get my back?" Scott looked up at him with the most innocent expression he could manage.

Mitch turned to look at him.  Scott without a shirt on had been enough. Touching him the slightest bit when they wrestled or goofed off was making it harder and harder not to throw the man down in the sand and have his way with him.  But this...  this was going to be somewhere between absolute torture and just a touch of heaven.

"Yeah, no problem."  He took the lotion and moved to sit behind Scott.

He put some lotion in his hand and he started to rub it into the skin of Scott's back.  

For someone so skinny, he was completely solid.  He was all hard muscle, but his skin was baby soft.  He let his fingers massage and press into the skin, making sure to cover every inch exposed.

Scott's head fell forward as he relaxed under Mitch's fingertips.

Mitch realized Scott was enjoying the way he was massaging, so he turned it into one.  He began massaging Scott's shoulders, pressing into the knots and working down his spine to his lower back.

Scott felt like a puddle.  It had been meant to tease Mitch, but his fingers were soooooo good. The plan was doing nothing more than backfiring.

"Feel good?" Mitch inquired, knowing full well Scott was enjoying his attentions at the moment.

"Mmmhmmm..." Scott replied quietly.

Mitch moved closer until he was practically right against Scott.  He pressed his fingers in, pushing harder.  Scott nearly let a groan escape his lips, but he held his breath instead.

After a bit, he was sure he would lose his composure so he did the only thing he could think of.  He turned and looked at Mitch over his shoulder.

Mitch was staring down at his back watching the way the muscles moved underneath his hands, studying the freckles on his shoulders and his upper back.

Scott grinned.  "Turn around..."

Mitch stopped and looked at Scott with question in his eyes.

"I'll return the favor." Scott smiled and did a short circle motion with his finger.  After a bit of shifting they both turned, switching positions, and soon Mitch felt like his heart was going to beat itself right out of his chest.

Scott's hands were huge and his fingers seemed to know exactly where to touch.  They pressed just the right amount to make him come undone.

He relaxed and Scott grinned to himself in triumph, letting his hands roam free over Mitch's back. After a bit of innocent massaging, Scott took it further.  He slid his hands over Mitch's shoulders, his long fingers curving over to his collar bone. He let his fingers graze the base of his neck and Mitch's head tilted slightly to the side as if inviting Scott to explore it more, but Scott's hands were on the move.  They moved down Mitch's arms, feeling hard muscle beneath skin.

He slid his hands back up and then back down Mitch's back, massaging lower. He moved them around to his sides and lower until he was at the top of his swim trunks.  He rolled his thumbs in circles at the base of his spine.

He heard a sound from Mitch but pretended to ignore it.  He didn't want to stop, he was entranced by Mitch's skin.

Mitch, however, had to stop  him after a bit more.  

"You... we should... I- " He took a deep breath. "I'm gonna swim."

Scott nodded and reluctantly removed his hands from the silky skin.

Mitch stood with a bit of difficulty.  His knees felt weak, but he managed.  He took off into the water.

Scott watched him with a smile. He laid out on his stomach, facing the water and propped his chin on his arms.  He watched Mitch for awhile.  His mind began to wander.  He began to imagine what his life would be like if they could do this all the time. Maybe they would buy a house together at the beach. Maybe they'd get a dog and together they would take him on early morning runs down the beach. Maybe they'd cuddle together on the hammock in their backyard and watch the sunset. 

They would be so good together. They would be happy.

It was so easy to forget the outside world while he was here with Mitch.  The man was smiling as he played out in the water.  The sun shone down on him, his eyes sparkled, reflecting the water.

Suddenly none his fears mattered anymore.

He got up quickly and hurried out into the water.

"Mitch!" he called out to him.

Mitch turned and looked at him.  The water moved around him just above his stomach.  Scott was coming straight towards him with a strange look.

"Is everything ok?"

Scott didn't answer.  He just kept walking until he was directly in front of Mitch,  looking at him with the most serious face.

Mitch had no idea what was going on and no idea what to expect.  Scott's eyes revealed nothing. The smile slowly slid from his face as he blinked, doe-eyed, up at the taller man.

Scott was standing closer than he usually stood.  Their bodies almost touched.

"I just...   I need to know."

Mitch's eyebrow raised half in confusion, half in fear.  Did he know? Was he mad? He looked kinda mad, or no not really.  What the hell?

Scott was just looking directly into his eyes.

Mitch felt a bit exposed.  Scott was looking at him as if he could see the depths of his soul in his eyes. He was demanding an answer to a question he hadn't even asked...

He opened his mouth to ask what Scott needed to know, but it came out as a gasp as Scott's arm snaked around his waist and pulled him roughly against him.

The water moved around them.

Scott just stood there holding Mitch firmly against him, looking at his face in the sunlight.

Mitch couldn't think of words or movements.  He could barely breathe.  He was too worried about the drumbeat his heart was creating to even think about the hard body pressed against his.  

Scott's blue eyes stared intensely down at him.

"What are we doing?" Scott asked quietly. He was still keeping a firm grip on Mitch, refusing to let go.

"I don't know." It was all Mitch could manage to get out.  His brain was on automatic and obviously anything more eloquent escaped him.

~

Scott simply stood there, holding tight to Mitch.

He couldn't seem to make a decision.  If he did what he wanted, what he truly wanted, then things might change.  No, things WOULD change.

Mitch was an important part of his life.

He couldn't really give him a relationship, he had a girlfriend for Christ's sake. He had a wonderful girlfriend who gave him a sense of security. Angel ensured a family, a future... and he had Zac for the other stuff.  Zac understood him, understood there was no future for them.

His life had been cruising along. Things were good and routine. Things were predictable. Then he'd met Mitch.

His amazing best friend, Mitch.  He shared things with him he didn't even dare tell Zac.  Mitch was sweet and loyal and such an amazing friend.

Could he really risk messing with that?

But those feelings... the feelings that Scott kept feeling when Mitch looked at him, those butterflies when Mitch smiled at him,  the sparks when Mitch touched him,  even if by accident...

Those feelings when Mitch had kissed him last night...   

Mitch felt like home.

~

Mitch watched Scott's face, just waiting for him to finish what he'd started.

He could feel Scott's heartbeat against his chest.

He could see Scott slowly talking himself out of it. He could see the subtle changes in his expression as the intensity died and the sparkle left his eyes.

He didn't think he'd be able to handle it if Scott pulled away again. Not after this. Not after he had made it so obvious.  Not when he could clearly see the want on his face. Straight or not Scott wanted to kiss him.

"Scott..."

But Scott had already made his decision.  Slowly his arm relaxed around Mitch and he started to pull it away.

No!

Mitch couldn't believe it.  Not again.  He could NOT do this to him again. He couldn't go on knowing he was that close.  He couldn't let it go now that he knew without a doubt that Scott wanted it too.  

"Oh, no you don't!"

Scott didn't have time to react as Mitch grabbed him behind the neck and pulled his mouth to meet his own. Scott made a weak attempt to move his face away as his lips crashed down onto Mitch's, but Mitch held him.  He immediately melted into the kiss as Mitch's lips moved against his.

How could he fight that?

His arms moved right back around Mitch and held him against him again, one hand firmly on his back pressing him closer.

Mitch parted his lips as Scott took control.

Mitch had never tasted anything as sweet, Scott had never felt anything so powerful.

Kissing Mitch was MORE than good. It raised all of those tingly, warm feelings to the surface again. It all just felt right.  

They stood there, attached at the mouth, holding onto each other until there was no breath left in them and Mitch was the first to pull away for air.

He turned his eyes up to look at Scott who was staring back at him.  

That really just happened.  Mitch licked his lips, still catching his breath.

Scott was staring back at him with a sad expression.  

"We can't."  He was completely out of breath.  His brain ceased to process anything but Mitch at the moment, but he knew it couldn't last.

"Like hell we can't!" Mitch had waited too long, wanted to an extreme, and just a taste was not enough.  He grabbed Scott's face and went for him again, pushing up onto his toes.

Scott didn't even pretend to fight this time and soon their mouths were moving together again to their own rhythm.

Scott still held Mitch, holding him flush against him.  

Mitch's fingers moved up Scott's jaw as they remained locked at the mouth.

Scott couldn't focus, couldn't think...

With Zac he could do this. He could lose focus, lose himself and not worry. Zac would never hurt or betray him. Mitch was all new territory.  He didn't really believe that Mitch would ever purposely hurt him, but just because a fear was irrational didn't make it any less frightening.

He tried to think rationally, but Mitch's tongue was not making it easy.

Scott groaned into his mouth and took a step forward as if he could move closer into Mitch, as if he could crawl right inside of his skin.

Mitch just held on for dear life.  He'd seen all of the romantic movies about feeling the sparks or the fireworks or whatever when you had that perfect kiss.  He'd always thought it was just  glamorizing something that was really nothing but swapping spit.  Sure it was fun, but it wasn't all Hollywood made it out to be.  Obviously he'd been doing it wrong, or with the wrong guys.  Mitch had kissed guys before, he'd kissed quite a few,  but nothing... NOTHING compared to this.  

He could feel the kiss everywhere, right down to his toes. He could feel it humming in his bones. He could feel Scott swirling all around him as if surrounding him.  He felt the fireworks in his chest, the sparks between their lips.

A wave splashed them, getting a light spray on their faces.

Scott pulled back slightly and looked at Mitch.

"Mitch I-"

"Don't." His eyes pleaded right along with his voice. "Please, just don't"

He pleaded for Scott not to ruin it.  The moment couldn't be over. This couldn't be all he would get.

Scott removed one arm from around him and touched his face.  His eyes looked so melancholy.

"I have a girlfriend"

Mitch felt like crying.  His heart began to ache at just the thought of rejection.

"So?"

Scott's hand spanned the length of the side of Mitch's face.

Mitch nuzzled into it, closed his eyes.  "Choose me..." he whispered.

"Mitch"

"Scott, please"

"I don't want to hurt you..."

"So don't!" Mitch's eyes flew open and looked directly into Scott's.

Scott felt conflicted. His heart was telling him to keep Mitch in his arms forever, but his mind that had suddenly found its will to function was telling him this wouldn't last. Angel was safety.

He was about to crawl right back into that safety.

Mitch was watching him.  Scott was thinking SO hard, the conflict evident on his face.

"Do you love her?"

Scott hesitated and looked away.  Did he love her? He loved what she did for him. He loved the way she cared for him and took care of him. He loved the things that being with her guaranteed.

"I..."

Mitch sighed. No, of course he didn't love her. So what the hell was his problem? He ran his fingers over Scott's shoulders.

"I don't know ..."

"If you don't know, that means you don't!"

"It's not that easy!"

"WHY NOT?"

"BECAUSE SHE'S MY PLAN!"

Mitch didn't get it.  He blinked with confusion. His plan? A plan for what? World domination? What the fu¢k?

"What plan?"

Scott sighed.  He hadn't meant to share that.  He released Mitch and ran his fingers over his own face.

"Nothing."

"Dammit, Scott, just tell me!" He grabbed Scott's upper arms, afraid he would run at any moment.

"She's my future Mitch. She guarantees a family. She guarantees a normal life.

"Normal life? What is this some sort of Pleasantville fantasy?" Mitch narrowed his eyes, still quite a bit confused and also a little off-put.

Scott rolled his eyes.

"No, but I can't be gay! She makes me normal!"

Mitch let go of him as if he'd been burned.  His face looked as if Scott had slapped him.

Scott knew he'd said the wrong thing.

"So I'm not normal?" he said it so quietly, looked so hurt... 

He took a step backward.

"That's not what I meant!" He tried to backtrack quickly.  It wasn't what he meant at all. Mitch was absolutely perfect! It was just him... it was all him.

He tried to grab onto Mitch, but he squirmed free and took off for the shore.

"Wait, PLEASE! That's not what I MEANT!"

Mitch turned about halfway there and looked at him.

"Then what did you mean, Scott?"

Scott didn't know what to say.  He couldn't admit his fears to Mitch.  He would think he was weak. He wouldn't understand.

Mitch shook his head and closed his eyes.  He turned and continued walking.  His heart was tearing, pulling in opposite directions with every step.

Scott watched him, unable to move.  Every step the other man took further away from him he felt his heart break a little more.

Then, suddenly, he heard Mitch cry out before falling forward to his hands and knees in the shallow water.

That got Scott to move.  He made his way like lightning to his side.

Mitch's face was contorted in pain.

"Mitch what-"

"GET AWAY from me" Mitch hissed out, pushing at Scott with one hand.

"Just stop! Tell me what's wrong." Scott easily batted the offending hand away.

Mitch tried to stand on his own, but when he tried to put pressure on his foot he fell again.

This time, Scott caught him and easily lifted him into his arms all in one motion.

Mitch looked at him as he carried him to the blanket and laid him down carefully.

Had his ankle not been throbbing, and had he not still been angry at Scott, it would have been the most romantic thing that had ever happened to him.

But, as it were, his ankle was already swelling and it hurt to even look at Scott.

Scott spotted the injury and quickly rolled an extra towel and lifted his leg with the greatest care and elevated it.

"What happened?" Scott was flooded with concern as he remained at Mitch's side.

"I stepped on something, a shell I guess.  My foot slid off and my ankle turned over."  He spoke to his own fingers that he was fidgeting with.  

He knew it was probably just a sprain, but it hurt like all hell.  He'd been through worse, but his heart was still hurting and that just made it seem more intense.

He glanced up at Scott momentarily, but he had to turn away again. Scott looked too concerned, too worried like he really cared.  But, obviously, that wasn't the case.

"I'm gonna get everything in the car and then I'll take you to the hospital."

"Don't bother."

"Mitch, stop it. You're going." Scott's voice was firm and Mitch stayed quiet.

He felt anger rise in him again as he watched Scott carry their stuff back to the car.

As Scott returned to collect him, he burst...

"Why do you even care?" Tears were threatening to form. They coated his eyes, blurring his vision. He tried to blink them away, but then they just began to make their way down his cheeks.

Scott lifted him easily.  He stood there just holding Mitch in his arms for a moment.  He stared at his face.  He hated that he was hurt... yes, because of his ankle, but mostly because he'd hurt him.

"I'm scared.  I'm scared of who I am and I'm terrified of the way you make me feel.  I've never felt like this about anyone.  Ever.  No one knows about me...  and I'm just... scared, ok?"

Scott had never confessed it.

He'd told Zac he wasn't sure about what he wanted, but he was. He was just scared, terrified of living it.

Mitch nodded before he melted into Scott again, the tears falling.

He could never remember being scared of who he was.  He had always had people that supported him 100%.  They'd never once looked at him like he was anything but just Mitch. He was sometimes scared to tell people, but not afraid of being gay himself. He felt better about the situation now, now that he understood Scott a little more.  It also raised so many questions he wanted to ask, but he let them go for now.  

He let Scott put him gently into the car.

While Scott was back on the beach getting the rest of the towels and the blanket, Mitch made up his mind.  He was going to help Scott get over this. He wouldn't push him, he wouldn't force him, but he had to do something. He had to make him see that this was right, that THEY were right.

He would make him see. He didn't care how long it took.  

~

The ride to the hospital was quiet.

Mitch hated hospitals and doctors in general, but Scott being there helped a bit.

Luckily it was just a sprain, a bad sprain, but it could have been worse.

Scott told him he'd stay at his loft with him to help him out and take care of him.

Mitch agreed.

Maybe this sprain wouldn't be such a bad thing after all.