Holy Cheeseballss! I did it! I finished the longest living Larry story I've written. The book which was considered lucky if four chapters can be written in a year, yes, back in 2018, I think I wrote only 3 chapter. I suck. I know.

But lo and behold! It is done and it is written by teenage me and it sucks. LOL.

I might try to edit it but maybe soon.

Thank you for all those who were patient enough to read it.

You guys are superheroes, like super amazing!

Enjoy!!!!

~*~*~*~

Louis was a really good doctor.

He takes pride on how calm his mind would be in stressful situations. It gives him an advantage to think clearly, give out orders and not completely fuck up a procedure and end up killing the patient in the process.

Of course, doctors are not perfect, there are times that you might fail but it doesn't mean you didn't do your best, sometimes you're just too late and you need to not blame yourself about it. It was one of the disadvantages of being a doctor, no matter how much effort or time you give, you just can't save everyone.

...

Louis stared at the crowd gathered around, all wearing black and sad expressions written on their faces as they watched the last of the kids throw a flower into the open ground where the casket was lowered.

He wasn't sure how to process everything which happened in the past week.

It was supposed to be a normal week, he was supposed to tender his last days in the orphanage and then fuck off somewhere in Switzerland to start a new life.

No one expected something horrible and tragic to happen at a place where children should feel safe, but Louis guesses that there really isn't any safe place in the world anymore.

He just wished he could have done something more.

"Hey." A nudge on his side made Louis snap out of his thoughts.

He turned his attention to his side where Harry was looking at him with furrowed brows.

Louis was immediately in protective doctor mode, already thinking that something must be wrong with Harry.

"Are you okay? Does your cast hurt?" Louis asked worriedly, checking if he was in any type of pain.

Harry tried brushing him off. "I'm fine Lou."

Louis scoffed as quietly as possible as to not get the crowds attention. "You should have taken a seat Harry, you just got out of the hospital."

Louis knew that he sounded like a nagging parent, but he couldn't help it.

He wanted to drag Harry back, but he insisted that he was fine enough to leave despite having a broken leg where he was required to use crutches. He had bruises which needed to be healed for more than a week and he might not be able to go back to fighting, not for a year and maybe not even ever again.

Harry doesn't look like he was particularly worried about losing his career because he still demanded to be able to attend today.

"I want to pay my respect." Harry remained on his feet, staring straight ahead to where the priest was voicing out a final prayer. "Kevin worked at the orphanage for five years, he didn't deserve what happened." He whispered softly, the small crack on his voice made Louis let his jacket go to let him stand on his feet on his own.

Kevin was the orphanage janitor who tried to stop Emma's deranged father from entering the orphanage.

"No one knew it would happen Harry."

According to police report, the suspect went through the back door where Kevin tried to ask for identification but then he was struck in the head and shot in the back before the suspect roamed the building.

So many things could have gone wrong if the man decided to shoot everyone he came across with but from the footage that Lucas presented from that terrible day, the man was just about to rush inside a classroom full of kids when he suddenly saw Harry with Emma walking to Louis office.

Louis didn't want to imagine what could have happened if he had entered the room.

But, there was also something which have haunted him since he received the news of what had happened to Kevin.

Harry nudged Louis carefully when he noticed the blank look on his face. "I know, that's why you shouldn't blame yourself for not getting to him sooner."

When Zayn arrived at the scene and handcuffed the unconscious criminal in his office, they immediately let the paramedic inside to wheel Harry out and bring him to the hospital.

Louis was just about to join Harry to the ambulance when he heard from one police that there was someone shot at the back of the orphanage and despite his head screaming at him to make sure Harry was safe, he ran back inside escorted by Zayn to see Kevin bleeding on the floor.

Louis closed his eyes at the memory, his mind was panicked at that moment when he tried to stop the bleeding and he couldn't help but blame himself because maybe Kevin had a higher chance of surviving if he handled it calmly. "He was just lying there, if I wasn't freaking out so much then maybe I could have stopped the bleeding, I would have noticed the head trauma."

It was a thought that had been keeping him awake on most nights.

"Don't blame yourself Lou, we were all in a stressful situation. No one is blaming you."

Louis jumped slightly when Harry took his hand and interlocked it with his, he didn't pull away because they both knew they needed it both to ground themselves on the horrific reality they were currently living.

Harry stayed back when the crowd started dispersing, he was waiting for a chance to talk to Kevin's widowed wife and kid who was still so young to understand what was going on and Louis couldn't face them, the guilt was eating him so much.

The young boy had already lost a father and it kills him inside.

Harry didn't force him to come talk to the family but then Louis watched as he struggled to walk on one good foot, so he helped him, Harry didn't protest this time and accepted his help thankfully.

They reached the family and Louis stood back to let Harry speak.

"My deepest condolence Claire, I'm sorry I couldn't be with you and your family sooner. I was rather indisposed." Harry spoke of his injury to lightly, it worked to bring a small smile from Kevin's wife.

Harry carefully opened his arms, aiming for a hug which was dangerous on his condition, so Louis went to his aid and steadied him. Claire closed the gap, so Harry didn't have to take any step and hugged him carefully.

"Oh Harry, don't force yourself dear." She murmured on his shoulder.

Harry rubbed Claire's back with his good hand, Louis' didn't want to let go of his hold despite getting awkward about the position because they might topple over. Louis didn't want to listen on their private conversation, but he was still within earshot. "I will do everything in my power to help your family, don't worry about anything."

Clair sobbed quietly and tightened her hold on Harry, Harry didn't even flinch when all Louis wanted to do was ask her to not break his bones any further, but he kept quiet.

Claire pulled away and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"You already did so much for us., thank you"

Harry smiled and hobbled on his feet, walking a few steps closer to Louis and then introducing him.

"This is Doctor Louis Tomlinson."

Louis was caught off guard when the attention was directed at him.

"I-I'm so sorry for your loss." Louis stuttered nervously, his heart beating loudly in his chest.

He wasn't sure if she knew that he was the doctor that could have saved her husband's life. What would be the appropriate reaction for something like that?

Louis might have grown from his overly shy and awkward phase from his teenage years, but it doesn't mean he handles confrontations that much better.

He knew that he would gratefully accept if she slaps him or screams at him but the reaction that he wasn't expecting was the warm body which engulfed him, her hug was tight as if he was hugging someone dear.

It reminded him of the hug he gets from his mother.

"Thank you for trying to save my husband." She told him softly.

Louis couldn't help but reciprocate the hug, a tear slipping on his eye as Harry watched with a small smile.

They talked for a bit, Claire introduced their son Kyle and Louis watched him while they talked with other employees of the orphanage. Louis didn't mind spending time with Kyle, he was adorable two-year-old, and Louis promised to get an educational plan for him when he gets back in the office.

Claire and Harry returned after a few minutes and she thanked him for watching Kyle.

Louis waved goodbye at their retreating form while Harry let out an exhausted breath.

"I think the painkillers are wearing off." He mumbled under his breath.

Louis shakes his head; Harry must already be in a lot of pain, but he tried to act as if it didn't bother him. "I'll drive you home, let's go." he offered.

They both walked carefully towards Louis' car, Harry groaning at every step.

The drive back to Harry's house was quiet but it wasn't awkward. They were both lost in each other's thought while a soft ballad played on the car's speaker.

Louis didn't know what was running inside Harry's head but there was a certain kind of anxiety all shoved back at the back of his, but he was unsure if this was the best time to be unpacking that.

Probably not.

They have been threading into careful waters since Harry woke up from the hospital, Louis stayed by his side until Zayn physically dragged him home to take a shower and some sleep.

He returned to the hospital the next day with Harry awake, surrounded by some of the kids who visited him and wanted to see him.

Louis knew younger kids aren't allowed in the hospital but their circumstance was different so the hospital might have allowed it, especially seeing the smiles from the kids at seeing Harry awake.

The tightness in Louis chest disappeared upon seeing the smile at Harry's bandaged face, it was better than an unconscious one.

They arrived at Harry's place and Louis quickly hopped out from the driver side to help Harry walk towards his house.

He had only been at Harry's house a total of three times and like the first time he's been here, he's still surprise at how big yet empty it is, like Harry just decided to buy a house just for the sake of having one but not actually staying in it.

Louis helped him inside and then checked the time on his phone to see that it was almost dinner and Harry hasn't taken his medicines yet.

"I'll check your fridge if you have anything, you need to take your meds but you have to eat first."

He walked towards Harry's kitchen and Harry hobbled behind him.

"I'm not sure if I have any food."

Louis pursed his lips but shook his head and took his phone out. "I'll order some food then." He opened his food delivery app and just ordered whatever was in his recommended list with a click.

Harry nodded and Louis didn't know what to do next, he was starting to get anxious because he was unsure if he was supposed to be in here.

He glanced at the sink and saw the over piling dirty dishes, so he went over to it, just to get his hands to do something and not stand like an idiot while they waited for pizza.

"You didn't have to do that Louis." Harry protested.

"You can't really wash it yourself Harry, your fingers are still healing."

"You didn't have to do this for me."

"I wanted to." Louis reassured him.

"You've been taking care of me at the hospital, you already did so much for me Lou."

Louis paused from washing the dishes and turned the tap off. "Do you want me to stop?"

"Well -no, i just don't want you to do it because you feel guilty." Harry mumbled, eyes staring at the floor. He was gnawing at his lip, almost anxiously because it was a thought in his head that's been eating him.

"I'm not, I wanted to help you. Now stop whining." Louis couldn't help but snap, the conversation was starting to frustrate him.

Harry nodded sadly and kept quiet, letting Louis finish the dishes in peace.

Louis knew he shouldn't be snapping at Harry when he looks like a kicked puppy, but he wasn't joking when said that he was freaking out.

The wounds were still fresh and he's not talking about Harry's bruises.

"I thought I would lose again, when you lost consciousness." Louis started, arms tightening around the poor dishwashing sponge. "I was so scared." He croaked out.

"Lou-"

He quickly cut him off, putting the sponge back to its case and then drying his hands angrily. "Listen to what I have to say first Harry."

Harry looked like he has other things to say but decided against it and muttered an "Okay."

Louis needed to have a better grip of his emotions because Harry was still recovering, and he already went through a lot and adding a very confused ex-boyfriend must be too much for him to handle.

But the day Louis witnessed almost losing Harry, his mind was already decided, and he needed to let it out.

Harry waited patiently for Louis to speak and Louis was thankful for that.

He took a little breath of air for courage and took a seat at the other side of the small dining table and turned his attention back to Harry, he had a lot to unload. "You know how much you mean to me, obviously. You were my best friend and frankly, no one came near to how I felt about you, it's crazy because it's been years already but here we are, back to square one."

Louis was pretty sure he was nagging and from the look of remorse on Harry's face, he might have been thinking the same thing. It was similar to child being reprimanded by their parents.

Louis couldn't stop though. "I know how it's unfortunate that you have to go through those things in order to protect me but it's a fucking stupid thing to do, you could have gone to the cops or told my dad. He knows a fuck ton of people and he would have helped you."

The second he stops ranting, the knot on his stomach disappeared. As if all these pent up thoughts which accumulated through the years have decided to come out of his mouth and make a point.

A point that was already so many years too late, but he still wanted to be heard and it felt like the right time because right now, Harry obviously couldn't go anywhere.

"I'm sorry." Harry looked at him with a solemn expression but with understanding eyes as if he knew all of it already.

Louis closed his eyes and shook his head. "Don't be because those things are in the past and we can't do anything to change it." He sighed and rubbed the palm of his hands over his face like the normal exhausted adult that he had become. He continued though despite the growing tension because he was done walking around in eggshells, he realized how short life truly is. "What we can do however is figure out what to do with the present." He finished, tired eyes focused on Harry.

He watched as a confuse frown appeared on Harry's face. "What are you saying Lou?"

Louis gave Harry a long look before responding. "I lost you once because you're a fucking idiot." He started making Harry flinch a little. "And then I almost lost you again because you're trying to be a brave fucking idiot who saved a lot of people but almost died in the process."

The idea of what could have happened was present in everyone minds, people in the orphanage who grew close to him and even some from the MMA fighting industry have shown up to check on him, a clear indication that he was cared for, that he wasn't alone and yet he still act like such a recluse and acts so brash.

Louis was not having it.

He had to get an earful from Nick Grimshaw, and he hated Nick.

Harry had been living this life alone even if it's far from the truth.

"I wouldn't have changed a thing Lou." Harry said with as much stubbornness a Styles can muster.

Louis knew him as a hormonal teen and it's a lot.

The thing which pains Louis though is the thought that Harry was willing to sacrifice everything for him even if Louis was clearly taking the easy way out and leaving him for Switzerland.

What a dick move on his behalf.

"I know and that's scary because I don't want to always worry if I'm going to be losing you." Louis admitted one of his fears.

"I always do things to protect you." Harry told him, just as stubbornly.

Louis couldn't help but roll his eyes. "You should stop Harry." He told him in a flat tone. The crestfallen look which appeared made Louis stop and just cut right to his point, the point which is clearly making Harry think that he was leaving him. Which he isn't, not anymore.

Ever since they were young, Harry would choose everything above anything else just to make sure Louis was happy and safe but look where they ended up because of that.

Louis doesn't deserve Harry Styles.

But he's changing that, the problem they had was not the works of a higher being messing with them or fate which enjoys fucking them up. This was just honest to god the result of two stupid people who runs from what makes them happy and Louis has had enough.

Louis cleared his throat and sat up straight. "Let me do the protecting from now on." It came out much softer that he intended but the desired effect from Harry was worth it.

"Y-you'll stay?" Harry stammered, his eyes wide and hopeful as they waited for Louis to say what he was wishing to hear for years.

He'd dreamed of this, a lot of times that it started getting really sad but Louis doesn't have to know that.

Louis nodded calmly. "If you want me to."

Louis wanted to act calm and collected, as if the admission wouldn't change their lives forever, Harry however is shit at acting.

"Of course -Ow- shit!" Harry stood up so fast he almost toppled over.

Louis quickly stood up from his seat and shoot his hand to keep him upright. "Harry! You have a broken leg, calm down."

So much for calm and collected.

Despite the obvious pain he was dealing with, Harry was still smiling...well grimacing but it was happy grimace.

"Let me hug you properly, ow!" Harry cursed as he accidentally put pressure on his broken foot, but he was too excited to care.

"Stop! Calm down you dimwit, I'll hug you okay!" Louis couldn't help but laugh at Harry's giddiness to be as close to him as possible.

Harry made several failed attempts to pull Louis to the couch in the living room and Louis felt a little bit of pity, so he complied and made sure he wasn't putting any unnecessary pressure on his injury.

Harry then carefully grabbed Louis' face, afraid that everything that was happening now was just a figment of his overly medicated head. Louis let him, smiling softly as Harry traced his face with his still bandaged fingers.

Louis kissed them when it landed on his lips.

"I love you." Harry spoke softly, his eyes shining. He winced when he tried smiling wide as his lips were still slightly busted.

He was an idiot.

"I love you too."

But he was Louis' idiot.

And they're going to make it work.