A/N: Louis' POV ahead...

**Batch 20XX High School Graduation**

Louis couldn't believe that he actually made it until graduation in one piece.

He never expected to meet amazing people like Zayn, Liam and Niall and no way in hell did he ever thought that he was capable of having someone by his side, supporting him and loving him despite the many flaws that he had.

Louis gave his valedictorian speech with a big smile, he knew that it was the only moment in his high school life where he didn't have the urge to vomit while e spoke in front of a crowd.

He bowed one last time to his class and thanked everyone who congratulated him, his parents were awfully proud as they took a thousand pictures of him, but his mind was blank as his eyes tried searching for a particular person. He was trying to look for Harry at the crowd of people, he felt a bit sad not seeing him sitting in one of the graduates, but he would feel more at ease if he knew were he sat at the back with the guest.

Harry had promised that he would be here.

He hasn't seen his boyfriend in a few days, he had a lot of work catching up as Paul requested him to spar with a semi pro athlete. Louis was very supportive and even if he did miss him dearly, he didn't want to act so clingy.

Not seeing him again in one of the most important day of his life is a different matter.

Louis felt like his mood shifting to something closely to sadness but before he can dwell into the feeling, a hand suddenly appeared from behind covering his eyesight.

Followed by a voice whispering on his ear. "Looking for someone?"

Louis' heart skipped a beat, a smile automatically appearing on his face as he excitedly turned around and came face to face with a smirking Harry wearing a suit and tie.

"Harry!" he greeted cheerfully before jumping over to him, hugging him tight.

Louis felt a heave load in his chest being lifted immediately.

He pulled away to stare at Harry more but the giddy expression of finally seeing Harry was replaced by a frown as his eyes caught the bruises on Harry's face and the bandaged knuckle.

"What happened to you? Are you okay?" Louis asked in a worried voice.

Harry smiled at him reassuringly. "Just got hit while training, don't worry about it."

Louis wasn't going to stop worrying about Harry, but he knows how Harry hated being the center of attention, so he decided to talk to him about it later.

He was just really glad to have him here by his side.

Louis hugged him again and buried his face on Harry's neck, breathing him in. "I missed you." He murmured quietly, ignoring the people around them.

Harry kissed his head and hugged him back just as tight. "I missed you too Lou."

They stayed like that for a minute before Zayn, Liam and Niall came by their side and toppled over them.

Louis groaned when he landed on the ground. Harry chuckled and helped him back to his feet.

"Congratulations." Harry grinned at him before fishing something on his pocket.

"Harry! I told you not to get me anything." Louis scowled at him.

They have discussed this before.

"I know but I wanted to okay, I can't let the smartest guy in school go away without a present." Harry joked at him before fluttering his eyes at him cutely and giving him absurd facial expression.

Louis faked glared at him but couldn't help the smile from appearing on his face as he opened the box where it revealed a silver necklace with a paper plane pendant hanging loosely at the middle.

Louis' eyes widen, even if he knew what it was, he was still surprised. "Wow, i-it's beautiful."

Harry smiled at him sweetly before carefully taking it out from the box.

"Let me put it on you."

Louis felt like tearing up but didn't want to make such a big deal about it even if deep inside it was one heck of a deal for him. Harry stood behind him as he clasps the necklace to his neck, goosebumps appearing at his neck from where Harry's breath was hitting him.

He knew it wasn't the perfect place to sport a hard on so Louis' willed it away and prayed for it to go away, the feeling of getting turned on was still foreign to him.

"Thank you, Harry, I really love it." Louis turned to Harry, smiling at him gratefully.

"I'm glad you love it, I love you very much too." Harry smiled at him lovingly, giving him a quick peck on the lips and ignoring the obvious cough from behind which they both knew was from Louis' father.

Louis was too damn happy about everything going on though, showing his friends and family the gift.

Louis swears that this was in fact the greatest day of his life, the happiness eating him up that he failed to notice the sadness in Harry's eye as he stared at him.

~*~

**1 week before High School Graduation**

Louis ran downstairs when the doorbell rang, ignoring the shout from his mom to be careful.

He jumped on the remaining steps and hastily opening the door, a piece of paper clutched tightly on his hands.

"I got accepted!" He shouted once the door was opened.

Harry jumped a few meters in surprise but ended up chuckling at the sight of Louis, trembling to his feet in happiness.

Harry couldn't help but reciprocate the feeling though, he quickly hugged Louis and lifted him up in the air. Louis shrieked and laughed as he held on tight. He already knew even without context what Louis was excited and so happy about.

"Holy shit! You are?" Harry asked after carefully putting him back to the ground.

"Yes! I got the acceptance letter and they want me to go next week for a campus tour." Louis showed him the fancy letter he received on the mail, Harry taking it and reading it carefully.

Louis felt nervous for a week waiting for the letter to arrive, his nerves were eating him even with the constant reassurance of his family, friends and Harry. He knew there were a lot of amazing schools wiling to give him a full scholarship.

Harry's eyes were filled with proud when he finished reading, looking at Louis before pulling him for a quick kiss.

"I'm so happy for you." Harry muttered closely, staring at Louis with so much love.

That was it for Louis before the damn broke lose and his tears brimming on his eyes.

"Thank you so much Harry for talking to my dad." Louis sniffed, embarrassed by the sudden lose of control on his emotions. Everything was just happening so fast that he wasn't ready. "I really didn't know what I could have done without you." He finished.

Harry had previously talked to his dad about Louis' dream of becoming a doctor, Louis didn't have the guts to disappoint his parents and he was really willing to pursue law but Harry argued that he should pursue what he wanted.

Harry quickly wiped at his eyes, smiling at him softly.

"Nonsense, you are meant to have great things Louis." He said before letting Louis blow his nose at his shirt, not even minding if Louis ruined his shirt.

More tears came, and Louis was sobbing mess which made his parents ran to check if he was okay.

"You are going to be the best doctor in the fucking world." Harry whispered next to him, doing everything he could to calm him down.

~*~

**3 weeks after High School Graduation**

Louis stared outside blankly, fingers fiddling with the silver necklace wrapped around his neck, stomach growling in hunger.

He didn't know how long or how many days have passed since he went outside, his eyes felt dry, probably dried out after the nonstop crying that he had.

He already had a permanent headache and got so used to the pain that he ignored it because no pain is greater than what his heart was feeling.

It felt like it was taken out only to be stomped on at the floor.

He heard the door to his room open but didn't look move nor look away from the window.

He knew it wasn't the person he was wishing to come barging into his room, his hope was long gone after the many times he wished it would.

"Lou? Are you okay? Your mom called me." Zayn asked softly, carefully as he walked closer to where Louis had made a permanent nest near the windows.

Louis didn't look at Zayn.

"He just left me." He said, voice hoarse from being unused.

Zayn stared at his friend sadly, sitting next to me and just letting him know that he wasn't alone.

"Lou."

They stayed like that, letting the silence fall between them.

Louis decided to ask the question that was in a continuous loop ever since Harry left him that note, a two sentence note stating that he was leaving and that to never contact him again. A sentence which struck Louis to his very core, he didn't even know something so simple can create an impact to his life.

"What did I do wrong Zayn?"

Zayn closed his eyes and just hugged Louis.

"Don't blame yourself Lou, you didn't do anything."

Louis didn't think that he could cry anymore but tears started forming on his eyes and he was crying again, this time on Zayn's shoulder.

"If I didn't do anything then why did Harry leave me?" he asked brokenly to no one in particular.

Because the person who was supposed to give him the answer just left.

~*~

**Freshman Year – After Finals**

Louis was with Niall, Liam and Zayn in his dorm room.

His finals just finished, and they came to visit him to celebrate because Louis topped the class. They were going to have a chill night consists of junk foods and the avenger's movie.

Niall was busy texting someone on his phone, Liam were on the kitchen preparing the food while Louis was busy flicking the channel. They should start the movie in half an hour, so Louis decided to entertain himself with other shows.

He froze from pressing the next button on the remote when his eyes landed on the sports channel, his breathing stopping for a minute when he saw Harry on screen.

Standing next to next to someone as photographers took their photos, it seems Harry has an upcoming fight which will be aired in national TV.

Louis still couldn't believe that Harry had became so famous in a short couple of years.

Niall had hastily stood from where he was comfortably lying on the couch when he saw what Louis was staring at.

"Lou turn the channel bec-" Niall wanted to snatch the remote and shut the TV off but Louis raised his hand to stop him just as the interviewer asked a question directed to Harry.

"I'm 100% straight, I don't know where the rumors are coming from but that's what it is, just rumors." Harry told the girl asking the question, sending a wink to her direction as the crowd laughed around him.

Louis was frozen to his seat, heart suddenly twisting painfully in his chest as the words echoed through his ears.

"Fucking asshole." He heard Niall shout under his breath before pulling the cord of the TV to shut it off, the last thing Louis sees was Harry staring directly at the camera, as if he was looking at Louis himself.

Liam and Zayn ran to the living room upon hearing Niall shouting, not really understanding what was going on.

Louis quickly stood up and avoided their gazes.

He was just so tired at being pitied.

"I'm just going to bed guys, it's fine." He waved at them but stopped when Niall pulled his sweater sleeves.

"Lou, are you okay." He asked worriedly.

Louis smiled at him tightly before nodding.

"Goodnight."

~*~

**First Year – Practicing Doctor**

Louis sat in front of the director of the hospital, smiling politely as the guy continued to shake his hand excitedly.

"We are very pleased to have you choose our hospital for your practice." He told him with so much smile that Louis was starting to get weirded out.

"I am very grateful that you accepted my application despite the short notice." Louis replied with him with a much more professional smile.

He was worried the guy's face would break in half with his constant smiling.

He was being given a small tour of the hospital where he decided to do his practice.

"It wasn't that much hard of a decision Mr. Tomlinson, you are one of the most promising young doctors in the century, we believe it is the other way around." The director chuckled, standing high and proud and ready to gloat to his other doctor friends on how the Louis Tomlinson chose his hospital despite the hundreds of offers.

Louis wanted to roll his eyes but decided not to because he didn't want to seem too rude and entitled. He was grateful for the opportunity, but this was just too much.

They were suddenly being asked to step aside when a nurse ran down to the corridor where a group of nurses were busy huddling around and shouting orders.

"Is there something going on?" Louis asked as the director seemed unfazed by the commotion.

"Probably an emergency but not something that you should worry, we are the nearest hospital in the city of Las Vegas and there are bounds to be freak accidents, also, a few famous people can pop by." He wiggled his eyebrows knowingly.

Louis knew exactly what he was trying to point out, drunken celebrities might suddenly get wheeled in for alcohol poisoning or sudden casino brawls.

Louis didn't really care.

"I would not have mind." Louis stated before following him when he started walking away to show Louis the prenatal ward.

Louis wasn't going to mention that the reason he chose this hospital was because it was the nearest at Lagasse's Stadium.

The UFC Fighting stadium.

~*~

**2 weeks after first day at job**

Louis has been at the hospital for three weeks and he can finally breathe properly without the director following him around like a loyal dog. He was interested on what Louis was doing and always asking him of wat he was working on, it just seemed he was too excited to have his hospital be the place where another ground-breaking drug can be discovered.

Louis was just getting a headache.

"Hey there Doctor Tomlinson." A nurse which Louis was sure have seen before approached him.

"Nurse Grimshaw am I correct?" he asked as he raised an eyebrow questioningly.

He already knew who he was, the head nurse of the trauma center, Nicholas Grimshaw.

Also, the guy who kept getting linked to Harry.

"Correct indeed." The nurse grinned at Louis.

Louis didn't like him, ever since he saw the picture of Harry clinging drunkenly to the nurse in one of a pap pic from an after party.

He wanted to punch the nurse actually but what was his right to do it? What would the reason be if they asked why he started punching people? He doesn't have the right anymore.

"Grimshaw, your friend Harry is here to see you." A fellow nurse called out from afar which made Louis turn around on his heels.

"Tell him to wait, I'm busy in here." Grimshaw grumbled annoyingly.

"I'm not interested." Louis stated before walking away, heart hammering on his chest.

"I didn't even say anything yet?" he heard Grimshaw exclaimed in confusion.

Louis needs to walk away.

~*~

**3 weeks after first day of job**

Louis was sat inside the director's office, he waited patiently until the fellow head doctor finished reading his request.

"You want to be assigned at the trauma center?"

"Just a change in environment." Louis smiled tightly.

"Well if you're sure." The director looked at him weirdly but still signed the form

He couldn't risk his best doctor leaving.

Louis ignored the nagging voice inside his head telling him that this was indeed a terrible idea.

~*~

**4 weeks after Louis' first day – First proper encounter**

Louis stretched his hands above his head, sighing when he heard the pop of his bones.

He just finished a 16-hour shift and he felt so damn tired.

He was inside the doctor's lounge, wanting a quick power nap before heading off when Meg suddenly appeared, breathing hard as if she had run to get here.

"Dr. Tomlinson! Nick requested your assistance." She said in a hurry.

Louis closed his eyes and groaned.

"I'm about to finish my shift Meg." He pleaded because he really did just want to sleep and go home.

"We don't have any available doctors." She looks apologetic and Louis knew she wouldn't be seeking his help if it wasn't the last resort.

They clearly lack doctors in this hospital.

"Fine, what room?" Louis muttered before pulling his coat and dragging his feet.

"Room 317." She smiled before taking off to do god knows what.

Louis was sleepy, and he knew how dangerous a sleepy doctor is so he slapped his face lightly when he neared the room, taking in a long deep breath and readying himself from Nick's constant flirting.

He clearly doesn't know how to handle a rejection because he just kept trying to ask him out.

He knocked once at the door before opening it and getting inside.

"You call for me Nick, I was kind of bu-" Louis froze from his spot as his eyes landed on a bloodied face but even if covered in blood, those mesmerizing green eyes weren't unnoticed as it stared back at him.

Fuck.

~*~

**Second Encounter – Orphanage**

Louis was gripping his bag tightly, trying not to scream as Lucas, the head of the orphanage introduced the still surprised and shock faced Harry. He didn't expect Harry to be here, he wasn't supposed to be here.

They just kept encountering each, Louis just wanted to breathe so he took a day off at the hospital but here he was. He also noted a new bandage on his arm which he didn't remember ever seeing.

Was he at the hospital again?

"This is Mr. Harry Styles, he's one of the founders of this orphanage, he's a real angel. He's always dropping by to the kids and helps out volunteering too." He proudly stated.

Louis suddenly felt dizzy, face getting a bit red in embarrassment after how he accused Harry of stalking him.

What rotten luck.

And he was the founder, why doesn't he know about this information?

"Oh." He croaked in reply, unsure of what to say next.

Because Harry is standing stupidly tall in front of him, eyes wide and unsure as he stared at Louis.

"Harry, this is Dr. Louis Tomlinson, he's the doctor who organized this medical mission for the kids and volunteered to be the orphanage doctor, isn't that great!"

"Oh." Was the only thing Harry could reply.

"I can't help but feel so happy to be in the same room as such kind-hearted fellows, you lads will change the future of this kids." Lucas told them, happiness seeping out of his body as if he wanted them both to feel it.

Louis just wanted the ground to open and eat him because this was beyond awkward.

~*~

** PRESENT **

There are days where you wished that you were back in the day where life is much simpler, days consist of doing simple things such as eating with your family, playing football with your siblings or having a movie night with your friends.

Louis longed for those days free of problems, questions and revealing truths which may shake up your very core.

His breathing was erratic when he got home, ignoring the constant buzzing of his phone from his friends who had been trying to reach him. He had left them at the orphanage in a haste, he didn't want to hear any more explanations especially after he had already heard the truth from Harry himself.

The truth in which Harry had left Louis in order for him to pursue his dream and keep his family away from getting entangled in some crazy messed up people. Louis should be grateful really because he was able to get the best education possible at his university and his dad wasn't falsely accused of some crime he didn't commit, but why is he still so angry about what Harry did?

Maybe it was because Harry didn't even make an effort to explain the situation and just left Louis thinking that he just got fed up with him.

To know the truth didn't actually make Louis feel better like everyone was expecting, instead questions after questions just got piled up and for the first time, Louis didn't think he'd want to know the answer this time.

Frustrated tears started pooling on Louis' eyes as he sat on his sofa inside his flat.

The whole flat was quiet and the only thing you can hear was Louis' harsh erratic breaths, but the silence was broken by the sound of heavy knocking on Louis' front door.

"Louis." Someone called from behind which sounded like Zayn.

Zayn must have followed him home.

It was very typical of him to do that, always making it his responsibility that Louis wasn't falling into a pit of depression. He was always there ever since Harry left and Louis felt great to have a friend like him but right now he wanted to be alone to sort his feelings on his own.

"Go away Zayn." Louis said, loud enough for his friend to hear despite the constant knocking.

"You know that I have ways to open this Louis, I'm just being polite by knocking."

Louis rolled his eyes and wiped his eyes frustratedly before going to the door and opening it with a scowl.

"I don't know why I'm still friends with you." Louis quipped before walking back to the living room.

Zayn chuckled lowly before following him. "Because you love me."

"At this moment, I really doubt it."

Zayn took a seat next to him, watching worriedly at his friend who hasn't been home for an hour but looked totally cried out.

"Talk to me Lou." He muttered softly while pulling Louis to lie on his back and put his head on his lap.

Louis refused but caved in after because he knew how relaxing it was to have someone play with your hair and massage your scalp.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, just letting Louis calm himself down before opening up. It almost felt like a routine between the two longtime friends.

When Louis felt like he can finally voice out his thoughts, he began.

"What do you expect will happen after I found out? That Harry and I will be okay, and everything will go back to the way it was?"

Zayn kept quiet, he knew it was better for Louis to just spill it all out before he makes any response.

"This isn't some fairy tale Zayn." He continued with a scoff.

All inhibition of a wonderful happy ever after vanished the day Harry left him without a word. Louis had a hard time trusting anyone ever again after that.

"I never said it was."

"Am I supposed to be grateful? Or am I selfish for still being angry despite knowing the truth?" Louis asked unsure.

He had been trying to kick some sense into him, but he just couldn't push the feeling of betrayal away.

"Your feelings are valid, no one told you to forgive him." Zayn stated honestly.

"The thing is, I want to forgive him. I really do." Louis closed his eyes, heart aching when he remembered how Harry looked earlier on his knees, begging Louis to forgive him. "But it's been a year since he was out of that contract, he had those days to contact me and explain."

He quickly removed his head on Zayn's lap to stand up and face him, eyes questioning.

"Why didn't he?" he asked him before starting to pace on the living room.

His head was about to explode. He was sure he was going to bust a nerve or two with how hard he was trying to work his brain up.

"I don't know his reasons Louis." Zayn shrugged apologetically.

Louis knew that Zayn couldn't possibly know the reason but neither does he.

"He keeps saying that he still loves me, but I can't justify his actions." Louis groaned in annoyance.

All the questions hitting him like a train.

"No one is forcing you to get back together."

Louis knew that because he doesn't owe Harry anything after he broke his heart.

"That's the funny thing, my heart keeps saying yes but my mind is hell bent on saying no." Louis was internally screaming because nothing is more frustrating than your rational thinking and you emotional feeling going into debate.

Zayn must have noticed Louis' internal conflict because he quickly guided him back to take a seat.

"Shh calm down Lou."

"Should I just try to move on?" Louis asked.

He did everything he can to move on, he tried dating other people but it all doesn't work out because Louis always chickens out when it got too serious. Or maybe it was because there are still nights where he was lying next to someone that his mind automatically thinks of Harry, comparing them to Harry and feeling disappointed when he found out that they were never going to be as good as Harry.

Which in all honestly, is so messed up.

Zayn shook his head and took a deep breath. "I can't answer that for you."

Louis wanted to scream at Zayn for not giving the answers he desperately needed but what does Zayn have to do with anything really, he was just here to make sure that Louis doesn't do anything stupid like lock himself again for days and starve to death.

Louis was an adult already, he should have a better control of his emotional state but no.

He's still so fucked up deep inside, too many unresolved issues.

"It's my own fault really, I should have just accepted the offer to start my practice at fucking Switzerland but no, I chose the hospital where he kept getting treated for his injuries because a part of me still wants to see him."

Admitting to his own mistake was difficult and maybe Zayn had an idea of it too when Louis voiced out his plan to accept the offer but didn't stop him whatsoever.

Louis decided that it was enough break down for the day. "I should sleep, I still have work tomorrow."

"You should." Zayn nodded.

"Thanks for hearing me out Zayn, I'm sorry for being a bother. I'm a grown adult but I'm having love problems like a fucking teenager."

"Shut up and go to bed and stop overthinking." Zayn gave him a small smile before ushering him inside his bedroom.

There will no promises of not overthinking and crying.

It's going to be such a long night.