Chapter 2

The music was blaring rather loudly from the speaker and Harry was having a hard time making his way to where the free booze was. He was at a random party that was being hosted by god knows who and he didn't even care to know. There was already the chances he'd get pissed drunk and hangover till Sunday and the thought worried him a little because he remembers Louis asking him if he would want to come to the mall to buy some textbooks at the bookstore.

If you've seen Harry before and knew him even, you'd laugh and think that he was crazy because Harry Styles doesn't go to the mall, bookstores even and he wouldn't even care at anyone's feelings about being disappointed if he cancelled. He's just not that kind of person.

But ever since that day he saw Louis with tear filled eyes, he swore to never be the reason of disappointing or even upsetting him. It was all bizarre and out of Harry's domain, he was used to alcohol, and drugs and sex but the past years have lessened his unusual out of control escapades. He spent most of his free time with Louis at the library; he would cancel all his plans to just be there to support Louis when he's their school participant at an essay writing contest or some other academic related shenanigans that other school comes up.

Harry knows the looks he usually received when he's seated at the front of the stage, biting his fingers anxiously when a question was asked, it feels like he's the one being asked and not Louis who was nervously squeaking his answers because even if Louis did join a ton of contest and won them, the thought of being on stage still frightens him. Harry ignored the hushed whispers or comment about what a delinquent was doing at places like this, he would have talked back or scared them but he knew if he did, he would get kicked out and would make Louis more nervous and probably lose focus making him lose so he just bit his tongue to keep all the negative comments to himself.

Louis always needed Harry; one glance from him would calm him down and answer a question he already knew beforehand.

Harry feels an extremely amount of pride at knowing he was the person Louis gets his confidence from but would also feel it deflating when Louis would utter the two cursed words that would probably end Harry.

Best Friend.

That was the only thing Louis sees from him, a friend, a companion, a good luck charm and nothing else.

Harry already knew from the day Louis gave him a personalized bracelet that he was gone for the boy, no questions asked. Seeing as he was already bisexual and accepted himself at the young age of 13, he no longer questions his feelings.

The main problem was Louis, Harry didn't even know if Louis likes the same gender. Louis came from thick headed parents who were horrible and Harry wants to punch them sometimes but he isn't allowed at the Tomlinson residence for being such a bad influence on their son.

Harry hopes though, he hopes that Louis feels a little bit of something for him but he knew Louis didn't even know Harry's own feelings which is odd because every person from a mile radius already know that Harry was head over heels in love. He would go at all cost to protect and make Louis happy and all Louis can see was the care of a loving best mate, best fucking mate.

Harry deserves an award really, and probably a lot of booze too.

"Fuck it." He muttered to himself as grabbed a bottle of vodka from an unknown stranger and made his way to the dance floor, he grabbed a random brunette and imagined that he was dancing with Louis instead of a nameless drunk.

'He's not small enough.'

'He doesn't smell like Louis.'

'His eyes aren't as pretty as Louis.'

Harry managed to dance at every brunette at the party but still can't find one who is remotely similar to his Louis.

"I know what you are doing?" a voice grumbled from behind where Harry was grinding at a boy who was wearing glasses similar to Louis.

Harry knew he was feeling a little bit tipsy; actually he's probably drunk when a fleeting thought came from his mind about getting this boy in glasses to bed. But the person talking to Harry has caught his attention and he was pushing the boy away because Harry knew that voice.

"Zaynnnn." He slurred drunkenly.

Harry thought he was about to fall face first on the floor when he swayed drunkenly to hug Zayn, good think Zayn seems to be the only sober person on the party so he was able to help Harry back on his feet.

Zayn was one of Louis' few friends. He was a transfer when Louis and Harry where at their second year and was paired to be Louis lab partner. Harry hated Zayn at first though because at how fast Louis got comfortable with him, he didn't like anyone stealing Louis attention. They were supposed to be for Harry only.

But Zayn made it clear when Harry cornered him one time that Louis was just a friend and they were both just really addicted to Marvel comics that's why they talk a lot. Also, Liam found them and punched Harry in the face. Liam Payne, school's perfect poster boy was Zayn's boyfriend and he can land a very good punch. Of course Louis would come at the right moment and saw Harry unconscious with a panicking Liam and Zayn, they all became officially friends at the hospital when Harry was getting treated for a mild concussion.

Harry was annoyed at first though, not because of the new addition to their group but because Zayn and Liam were one of those couples who would show their undying love to each other in public and that makes Harry jealous because he can't do the same with Louis. Louis doesn't have a problem though so it gives Harry more hope of being together with Louis. He didn't know what to do if Louis turned out to be homophobic.

"You're drunk as fuck Harry." Zayn said annoyed as he dragged Harry to a more secluded room where no one was groping his ass.

Zayn took Harry to room and he expects a drunken couple having sex but the room was tidy, no drunk passed out anywhere. Harry was confused.

"You're in my shared apartment Harry, my roommate's the one hosting the party and this is my room. It's off limits." He said as he helped Harry lie down on his bed.

He gave Harry a bottle of water to help him sober up a little and not puke on his room.

"I thought you and Liam were living together." Harry said after finishing the whole bottle.

"That's not until next month, I still need a few more days to endure all this out of the blue party and then I'll be on my Liam's arms." Zayn stated proudly after letting out a dreamy sigh.

Harry scowled at Zayn, he hated being reminded how Zayn and Liam had the perfect relationship while he was stuck pinning for a very oblivious and stupid but smart idiot. It was safe to say that he was indeed bitter.

"You can't just blame this all on Lou right?" Zayn then said after a moment of silence.

He was standing in front of Harry, his arms crossed and he was expecting for an explanation. Like many others, Zayn knew Harry's feelings for his nerd of a friend Louis. Louis was one of the smartest person Zayn knew in his entire life in existent but is extremely oblivious when it comes to noticing his best friends feelings, stupid even.

Harry decided to ignore Zayn lecture and just closed his eyes, praying that he wasn't too hangover for his and Louis' trip to the mall.

Harry thought Zayn already decided to stop talking and just let him sleep but he was wrong and he hated him for being so damn deep and mysterious all the time. He doesn't usually talk and if he did, it's all about how perfect Liam is and when it's not about worshipping his boyfriend, the things he says are sometimes confusing but means a lot when you realize its true meaning.

"Harry, you know damn well that you can't be Louis' best mate forever. You wouldn't survive if Louis met someone, someone who has the ball to ask him out and what if Louis said yes? He came from an upbringing where love is nowhere to be found, just responsibility. How do you not know if Louis mistaken your love as a responsibility? I know you care so much for him and I am in awe of you but you have to do something before someone takes your place?"

Harry has unconsciously fisted his hair, imaging Louis with some random girl or even boy? He didn't know what could hurt more? Louis being straight or Louis picking some random bloke that's not Harry.

"Love is not something that's taught, you have to make him feel it, believe it. It would take some time but it'll be worth it in the end. " Zayn continues.

Harry's thought changes then; he then imagines him and Louis together, holding hands. They've been on a tons of dates, at the carnival, at an ice skating rink, Louis holding Harry's hand tightly as he fights to stay balanced and not fall on his bum, Harry holding his hand and smiling when Louis would take some courage and let go but falling instantly, Harry cooing and helping him out, kissing his forehead and they would laugh and ski together like any other couple out there.

They were all tempting but Harry knew there would always be a cost.

Harry was scared of not being good enough for Louis, he knew Louis was incredible and beyond him. He was smart and would achieve a lot of things, Harry was afraid that Louis' parent was right and he would lead Louis to the wrong path. He didn't want to hold Louis down and keep him from reaching his potentials.

They were almost graduating and Louis always dreamed to go to the best university that Harry knew he can't get pass into even if he tried.

They would soon be separated and Harry didn't like the idea of Louis choosing between his dreams or him.

"The world you say and dream is beautiful Zayn but you know that there's going to be a lot at stakes. Life always try to ruin things and take those away from me and Louis would soon be one of them and then I'll be alone again to fend for myself. I'd rather let myself hurt than take Louis with me." He murmured as he curled himself on Zayn's bed, wishing that sleep would come and take him.

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