❝ SAY MY NAME ❞

"I dunno, seems easy to me."

Sagot mo habang tinanong ka nina Hakkai. It's currently the first day of exams, at ang iba ay nagrereview habang hindi pa nagsisimula.

"Wow, gumaganon. Mukhang masaya review kagabi ah." Sabi naman ni Hakkai.

Masaya nga. Kung siya ba naman kasama mong makinig sa study playlist.

"I mean, yeah, the lessons were pretty easy." You replied. At least you got a benefit from it. Your dad won't be disappointed anymore that you got low grades, and at the same time, you listened with him in that playlist. Hitting two birds with one stone who?

"'Wag mo 'kong hahawakan. Enough, Anna!" Sambit naman nina Emma at Ashanti sa gilid. Ewan ko ba. Basta si Emma kanina pang nagrereview o kaya nagriritual dahil kanina pang nakaharap sa sulok ng pader habang may nirerecite.

Ilang minuto pa ang nakalipas at nagsimula na rin ang exam nang dumating na ang proctor.

"Pst," tawag ni Makoto kay Baji.

"Ano?"

"Tamo 'yung proctor. Panot."

"Tang—" Halos mapabugtong hininga nalang si Baji sa sobrang random ng pinagsasabi ni Makoto.

"Alam mo 'wag mo 'kong dinedemonyo. Gusto kong pumasa this sem please lang." Dagdag pa ni Baji.

"Class, I'm pretty sure that the instructions are already said to you by your advisor. Don't hesitate to ask me questions as I'll be your proctor for this semester's exam. Good luck, students." The proctor said as he handed the papers.

Silence filled the classroom as the students took their exams, which is a rare sight to see. 

Parang nothing happened lang 'yung iba. Kunwari nag-iisip 'yung isa pero pasimpleng tumitingin sa papel ng katabi. May kasama pang kamot 'yan kunwari.

'Yung iba tamang speedrun lang sa papel nila, tulad na lamang nina Kakucho, Koko, Inui, Mitsuya, at iba pang mga estudyante na alam naman nating pasok sa mga honors.

"Feeling ko talaga... mali 'yung mga tanong." Bulong pa ni Yamagishi.

"Kasi isipin mo p're, hindi tugma 'yung sagot ko sa tanong, tsaka it doesn't make sense, bakit ilalagay 'yun sa choices kung sobrang obvious. Akalain mo 'yun?" Dagdag pa nito. Lakas mang-gaslight to the point pati 'yung sarili ginagaslight. Alam niyo 'yung mala red flag, gaslighter boyfriend sa Tiktok?

Hours passed at agad namang nakatapos ang mga estudyante. Naghintay nalang sila ng oras at ginamit ang mga vacant time para makapag review, hanggang sa lumipas ang ilang subjects at natapos na rin ang first day of exams.

"O shet tara gala." Agad namang sabi ni Hakkai nang pagkalabas ng proctor sa classroom.

"Tas 'yung grades seventy-five." Komento ni Baji.

"Ay lakas bumoses o." Sagot ni Hakkai habang inaayos ang buhok. Nagpakulay ulit ito ng buhok, at ginger naman ngayon. Napagbawalan kasi ng school dahil masyadong vibrant daw ang blonde. Alam niyo, kaunti nalang magiging airfryer na 'tong buhok ni Hakkai sa sobrang damaged dahil pang-ilang bleach na niya ito. 

"Shet, ngayon ko lang napansin buhok mo, ah. Grabe namalik-mata siguro ako sa exam." Komento naman ni Ashanti.

"Gago ka ah magsama kayo ni Baji punyeta kayo." Resbak naman ni Hakkai.

"Ganda nga ng bagong kulay e. Ey baka Ice Spice 'yan!" Sabi ni Emma.

"'Di 'yan si Ice Spice, si Ice Tubig 'yan e." Komento ni Makoto.

"GAGO!" Mura ni Baji nang patago itong tumawa. 

Ikaw naman ay tumitingin sa reviewer sa gilid para i-double check ang mga sagot mo. You never really bothered to do this before. Himala na hindi ka tamarin pag dating sa acads.

After dismissal, pumunta ka muna ng canteen bago sunduin si Aisha sa club. Nakapila ka lang sa isang stall.

"How was the exam?"

You heard someone ask, and lumingon sa likuran mo to see Kakucho na nakapila sa likuran mo.

"It was easy." You answered.

"Wow," Kakucho muttered, raising both of his brows. 

"What?" Tinaasan mo ito ng kilay.

"Nothing," Kakucho said as he signaled you in your line.

Nag order ka na rin ng pagkain mo. You didn't know why you ordered ice cream dahil nagd-diet ka, but it seems like for the past few days, you don't even care kung ano nang kinakain mo. Ever since Kakucho eats with you for dinner or cooks for you, you don't seem to care what to eat anymore. You don't even track your calories, and you don't stress yourself when it comes to eating.

Bigla mo naman itong naisip, and you looked down at your tummy. You're gaining weight. You can't be gaining weight. You have an image to maintain online and in the public.

"My fans might be disappointed when they see a different (Y/N) online and in real life..." You thought, sighing. 

Nagtaka naman si Kakucho as he noticed that you're hesitating on buying the ice cream. He raised his brows and walked closer as he handed his money sa tindera.

"Hey— You're cutting the line." Sabi mo pa.

"I'm not cutting the line. I'm paying for your food." Kakucho replied.

"Wha–?"

Hindi lang isang ice cream ang binili nito, kundi halos lima. He gave you all of it and started ordering another separate one for him.

"The hell? You're going to make me eat all of these?" You grunted.

"Yeah," Kakucho said as he walked away after that. "See you tomorrow."

Days of exams have passed, at natapos na rin kayo for the first sem. Hinihintay niyo nalang ngayon ang field trip niyo.

"Huy tangina, may cheerdance?" Tanong ni Hakkai nang tinitignan ang outline ng sem.

"Oms, ikaw na 'yung lilipad. Ako magbubuhat sa'yo. Baka landing mo nga lang sa hospital." Komento ni Baji.

"Ulol gago 'wag na." Sagot ni Hakkai.

"Ako na flyer!" Sambit naman ni Ashanti.

"Mitsuya ikaw daw magtatapon— este magbubuhat pala." Sabi naman ni Makoto.

"Pukenangina mo." Lutong na mura ni Ashanti nang binatuhan ito ng ballpen.

"Wait, may plano na ba kayo sa field trip? Maya na muna 'yang cheerdance."

"Anong planong pinagsasabi niyo? Tangina 'yung gagawin natin sa Gardenia? Tanginang tinapay ya—" Sagot naman ni Benkei.

"'Nga naman. 'De at least may EK."

"Whatever. Pupunta muna kaming mall para naman may reward after exams 'noh." Sabi ni Hakkai.

"My treat," sabi mo naman.

Napatingin naman ang mga kaklase mo sa'yo.

"Ay 'wag na, Helian! Nakakahiya hihi." Sabi nila.

"Wow may hiya pa pala kayong mga puta kayo." Komento naman ni Hakkai.

"Kapag sa'kin todo palibre kayo, but kapag si Helian 'ay 'wag na nakakahiya hihi' Like bro what the fuck." Dagdag ni Koko.

Si Kakucho naman ay natutulog lang sa sulok ng classroom. Alam niyo 'yung mga tipong kaklaseng balot na balot sa hoodie, tapos nakatakip pa 'yung mukha habang nakasandal sa upuan.

"Libre? Palibre ako." Sabi naman ni Mikey nang biglang sumulpot out of nowhere. Malalaman mo talaga kapag buraot e.

"'Wag ka na putanginamo nilamon mo na baon ko." Sagot naman ni Benkei.

"Ihh."

"Okay! So like, where are we going to eat?" Tanong mo.

"Hindi yata sila sasama, e." Sabi ni Emma.

"Tayo tayo lang ulit as usual." Dagdag ni Ashanti na napa bugtong hininga nalang.

"K fine," napaikot nalang ng mata si Hakkai.

"Cheers for finishing our first sem!"

Sigaw niyo namang magkakaibigan nang nasa resto kayo to celebrate, and this is the aftermath of the exam.

"Huy rinig ko lilipat na raw kayo sa Cebu?" Tanong naman ni Hakkai kay Ashanti.

"Actually... Yes huhu, so hindi ako sa Manila mag c-college." Sagot naman ni Ashanti.

Having conersations like this really does happen, especially when you're close to moving up from high school. Nag-uusap-usap na rin kayo kung saan kayo magc-college.

"Ako, siguro sa FEU." Sabi ni Hakkai.

"Waley pa akong idea. Depende kina mama, e." Sabi naman ni Emma.

Napadapo naman sila ng tingin sa'yo, waiting for an answer.

"Ikaw ba, Heli?" Tanong ni Hakkai habang iniinom ang kanyang beer.

"Probably DLSU. I'll get an archi course." Sagot mo.

"Ahh, archi. Wow ah."

"Archi? Alam mo ba, rinig ko, si Kakucho raw, engineering kukunin." Mag-iinform ni Hakkai.

What Hakkai said caught your attention and you immediately turned your head to him. "Really?"

"Oo, rinig ko kina Ran. Puta alam mo naman 'yung mga 'yon ang lalakas ng mga boses ng pag sa hallway. Kaunti nalang i-announce sa buong mundo mga anek nila sa buhay." Tawa ni Hakkai.

"Wehh, malakas boses o sadyang chismosa ka lang!" Komento ni Ashanti.

"Sumbong kita kay Mitsuya tamo." 

"Oh..." Meanwhile, you muttered, staring at the air and almost zoning out. "Engineering..."

"Um, do you know what college he'll be in?" Tanong mo pa muli.

"Hindi, e. Pero siguro sasabay siya kung saan magc-college sina Ran, ewan, 'di ko sure." Sagot ni Hakkai.

"Ah, alright," you slowly nodded your head while sipping a glass of beer.

"Tangina, panigurado kahit saang college nalang kami ni Emma. 'Di naman kami gano'n ka-utak." Dagdag pa nito.

"It's not always about intelligence naman. In education, you need consistency and striving. You manifest your own dreams. You have to know your own capabilities, you know." Ashanti said.

"Wow, nagseryoso si ante." Komento naman ni Hakkai.

Gano'n talaga si Ashanti. May tama lang 'yan sa utak, ngunit biglang nagseseryoso at nag E-English depende sa kausap.

"Hoy pero true!" Sabi ni Emma.

You subtly smiled at what she said and nodded. "You know, it's actually true. I mean, look at me, I didn't inherit my dad's intelligence. Some students kasi are naturally smart, like without even trying. Let's not deny it. They're so lucky, and I envy them."

"Out na 'ko r'yan. Basta ang masasabi ko lang sa sarili ko na bobo ako." Sabi naman ni Hakkai.

"Alam mo, I know that I'm not naturally born with that, parang ano lang talaga, pursigido, ganorn? Ewan, feeling ko talaga sobrang shonget at tanga ko kapag wala ako sa honors... kahit alam kong ibabalewala ko nalang 'tong mga gan'to sa college." Sagot naman ni Ashanti.

"You already created an expectation and standard for yourself, kaya as time passes, you neither want to maintain nor lower that, but to exceed that." You said.

"On spot, sis." Ashanti replied before taking a sip of her beer.

"Tamang laklak lang kami rito ni Emma." Bulong ni Hakkai.

"Oms, halos iilang subject nga lang pasado ko. HAHAHA tite." Dagdag ni Emma.

"Random ng tite but okay." Komento ni Hakkai.

"It's alright. Everyone has different specialties naman. Look at me nga, it's like I'm only good at giving these kinds of advice, but I can't really apply them to myself, haha." Sagot mo.

"Basta, mukhang nag-iimprove nga grades mo, e." Sabi naman ni Hakkai.

"Hopefully. I have to keep up with my dad's lies, you know." You sighed, rolling your eyes.

"Your dad's lies? Ba't? Ano meron sa tatay mo?" Tanong ni Ashanti.

"He always lies to his acquaintances and friends that my grades are high, such as I'm a valedictorian, I get top honors, my general average is always like above ninety-seven or something." You explain with an annoyed huff.

"Amputa, ano kaya 'yon. Parang ano naman si tito." Komento ni Emma na may kasamang iling.

"Yup, as a matter of fact, I never experienced being in honors, even during my elementary and junior high school days... except when dad bribes the school." Sabi mo, at binulong mo ang bandang huli mong sinabi.

"B-bribe?!" Ashanti gasp. "Well, why am I surprised, it's common these days."

"Mhm, binabayaran ni dad 'yung school and stuff just to make my grades higher. I was never proud of that shit." You grunted.

"Gagi naman. Yaman ng tatay mo ah." Sabi ni Hakkai.

"Naneto sa dinami-daming sinabi ni Helian sa tatay niya 'yan lang pinansin mo. Mukhang pera talaga 'to e, lapitin ng mga sugar da—" Sabi ni Emma, ngunit hindi ito natuloy ng binatukan ito ni Hakkai.

"Manahimik ka teh at least 'di ako delulu sa isang kalbo nang halos tatlong taon—" Rebat naman ni Hakkai.

"Bubuhos ko sainyo 'tong beer kapag 'di kayo tumahimik."

"Anyway, here o. Have some more. I can't finish all these by myself." Sabi mo habang niluluto ang mga pork.

Tuwing get-togethers talaga, samgyup ang una niyong target. Saka na 'yang mga side beverages, at syempre, sa magt-tropa, may palaging isang nagluluto o taga-ihaw, taga lagay sa lettuce, at syempre, ang taga-lamon.

"Huy tangina puro si Helian nalang pinagluluto niyo." Sabi naman ni Hakkai. "Akin na 'yan, be. Ako na. Lumamon ka muna."

"No, it's fine. I'm trying to lessen what carbs muna e. Cutting calories, you know. Haha." You said with an awkward laugh. You felt guilty after drinking beer.

"Hay nako. 'Di na uso ang diet." Sambit naman ni Hakkai.

"I'm actually gaining weight." You muttered, scratching your head.

"Ano naman!" 

Pagkatapos mong kumain, you took your pill out to take. Napansin naman 'to nina Hakkai, at hindi naiwasang magtanong.

"Ano 'yan?" Tanong nila.

"Oh, just diet pills."

"Hindi ba delikado 'yan?" Tanong ni Ashanti.

"Health over beauty, uy." Sabi ni Emma. "Alam ko 'yang mga pills pills na 'yan maraming side effects, pati 'yung mga waist trainer."

You just nodded, taking note of their worries. You've been doing this ever since you started gaining exposure in social media. Those worries cloud your mind sometimes, worries such as— "What if I have ED and body dysmorphia, and I just haven't realized it?"

"Putangina alak pa!"

Ang usapan ay kain lang sa samgyup, ngunit mukhang naiba ang tungo niyo at napunta na nga sa club.

"Ey tangina o parang uod lang kung mag twerk!" Tawa nina Ashanti nang hina-hype si Hakkai sa dance floor kasama ka.

"Ermm, wait, how many calories is this? Bitch, what the fuck! Five hundred?!" You asked in a slur. Kahit lasing ka, kaya mo paring magbilang ng calorie. Talent 'di ba.

"Call me," Emma said, flirting with some men in the corner.

"Hoy," hinila naman ito ni Ashanti paalis. "Hindi lahat ng kalbo na nakikita mo si Draken, ah. Tangina baka sa susunod si Wally Bayola na lapitan mo o kaya si Tito Boy."

"Tangina—" Napamura nalang si Ashanti nang nakita kayong tatlong lasing na. "First time kong hindi naglasing sa inuman para sa inyo ah. Kung lasing lang ako baka kanina pako gumapang sa pader."

"Do you wanna knaur my cup size?" Tanong mo sa isang lalaki na kasama mong sumaway.

"Girly, Heli. What is you zzayin'?!" Hakkai exclaimed as he pulled you away from the man.

"Uwi na natin 'tong mga 'to." Sabi ni Ashanti kay Hakkai nang naglakad ito papunta sainyo. Akbay naman ni Ashanti si Emma na knockdown na, at nakasakay ka naman sa likod ni Hakkai. You're just blabbering incoherent and slurred words.

"Be 'wag kang magsusuka sa likod ko, ah." Sabi naman ni Hakkai.

"Namo lasing ka rin, e." Sabi naman ni Ashanti.

"'Di ah. Magtumbling pa 'ko, e." sagot ni Hakkai.

"'Ge nga."

"Eto pakita ko pa." Dagdag pa nito nang binaba ka sa likod niya para ipakita kay Ashanti na hindi ito lasing. Sa sobrang lakas ng amats netong si Hakkai, nagtumbling nga.

"Hoy! Kinginamo, bading, nabasag mo bote ko!" Sigaw naman ng mga tao sa isang table nang naglanding si Hakkai sa table nila mismo. Lasing nga.

"Shet tara na!" Sigaw naman ni Ashanti nang hinila kayo at tumakbo palabas ng club.

Napunta naman kayo sa parking lot, at halos hingalin si Ashanti dahil mala-tatlong anak ang inaalagan nito. 'Yung isa, tulog na, 'yung isa naman kung ano-anong pinagsasabi, at 'yung isa, may tinakasan dahil nakabasag, at lasing din ito.

"Shuta bye! Hindi ako marunong magdrive!" Sabi ni Ashanti. Ikaw kasi ang may dalang kotse, but obviously, you can't drive since you're inebriated.

"Tawag nalang ako ng Grab." Sabi ni Ashanti, ngunit saktong pagbukas nito ng app, four luxury, sports car drove in front of the club.

As soon as they parked, they stepped out of their cars, and as the expected anticipation, ang magkakaibigang sina Ran nga 'yon. Of course, kasama rin si Kakucho rito.

"Mukhang may nauna na sa'min, ah." Komento naman ni Rindou nang naglakad sila papunta sainyo.

"Shet naman aangas ah. May pinopormahan 'tong mga 'to." Lasing na pagkasabi ni Hakkai.

Hindi mo sila mamukhaan dahil umiikot na ang paningin mo, at nakakapit ka nalang sa balikat ni Hakkai.

Kakuch immediately noticed you.

"Paano kayo uuwi?" Tanong niya.

"Uhh Grab," sagot ni Ashanti. "Ako lang 'yung hindi lasing, e 'di naman ako marunong magdrive. Si Helian lang 'yung may dalang kotse, pero tignan mo naman, lasing."

"I'll drive you all home," Kakucho said.

"Ay, okay langgg! Kahit sa Helian nalang iuwi mo, hehe! Gusto pa naming tumagay sa loob, 'di ba?" Pilit na tawa naman ni Hakkai while nudging Ashanti. "'Di ba, Ashantiii?"

"Naknam— Pa'no si Emma?" Bulong naman nito.

"Gaga, magigising din 'yan. 'Di ka pa ba nasasanay d'yan." Sagot naman ni Hakkai.

"Osya sige. Si Helian nalang ihatid mo. Kami na bahala kay Emma." Sabi ni Hakkai.

"Let's go?" Pag-aaya naman ni Koko kina Hakkai sa entrance ng club dahil saktong nagkasalubong naman.

"Well, alright. Tara, sabay na kayo sa table namin. Buti naabutan namin kayo." Sabi ni Ran.

"Si Kakucho?" Tanong ni Rindou.

"Ihahatid daw si Helian—"

"Who the hell said I'm fucking drunk?!" Sigaw mo nang nagpabitaw kay Ashanti, at para bang bigla kang nagising.

Kakucho sighed. "O ano n'yang gagawin mo?"

"Drink drink chug chug. Hehe." Sagot mo habang nagd-drinking motion pa at naglalakad pa nang pagewang-gewang.

"Yeah no. You're going straight home." Angal pa ni Kakucho.

Napatawa nalang sina Ran. "Mauna na kami sa loob, bro. Good luck."

Pumasok na rin sina Ran, Hakkai, at ang iba sa loob ng club, leaving you and Kakucho in the parking lot. You're still drunk and barely have a sense of what you're doing. You're just standing there awkwardly beside Kakucho.

Kakucho walked to his car with his hands inside his pockets, keeping his posture straight, but then he looked back as he noticed that you were not following him, only standing there.

"You're coming or what?" Kakucho raised a brow.

"Or, hehe."

Kakucho sighed and then walked back to you as he carried you on his shoulder.

"Hey! Put me down!" You screamed while kicking your feet and hitting his back with your fists.

Nang hindi parin umalma si Kakucho, kinagat mo nalang ang balikat nito.

"Hell—" Kakucho groaned in pain as he gripped his shoulder. Binaba ka na rin nito.

"I'm going inside that shit, so it's either you come with me or naaah!" You groggily said, pointing at his chest and back to the club.

"Fuck it whatever. Go inside." Kakucho commanded, clearly irked by your behavior.

"Hehe thank you to my man, you." Asar mo pa na may kasama pang padila. Napakunot nalang ng kilay si Kakucho. 

"What a weird woman."

Nakapasok na rin kayo sa club, at nagulat sina Hakkai nang nakita ka.

"HI, BITCHEEES! I'M BACK!" Sigaw mo pa nang maarteng naglakad sakanila na parang mga kumare't mga mamita na matagal nang hindi nagkikita. Tumalon ka pa kay Hakkai at niyakap siya.

"Eyy!" Sigaw naman ni Hakkai nang nakuha pang magtwerk.

Pumunta nalang si Kakucho kina Ran. Nagreserve sila ng kanilang sariling table, and they're in front of the dance floor. Their velvet couch is in a circle, and there's a circular table in the middle. Some of them were dressed in black polo shirts or even just plain white t-shirts, yet they managed to stand out in the crowd.

"By the way, hindi niyo ba ininvite si Sanzu?" Tanong ni Ran.

"Ininvite, but bro is busy," sagot ni Rindou habang umiinom ng whiskey. "You know, palagi na nga 'yong busy."

"Akala ko nga sasama na kayo kay Sanzu sa Ateneo, e." Koko asked.

Tumuro nalang si Rindou sa kuya niya and shrugged nonchalantly. "Dunno kay Kuya."

"I don't want to transfer." Ran scoffed as he took a sip.

"Why?" Rindou teased as he raised both of his brows.

Napaikot nalang ng mata si Ran and nudged Rindou.

"Sa'n ba kayo magc-college?" Tanong ni Koko.

"'Di ba napagusapan na 'yan nung grade eleven tayo?"

"Napag-usapan my ass," Koko chuckled. "Sa tingin niyo, seryosong usapan 'yon? ISCP daw si Sanzu, like bro, what? Tapos ngayon tignan mo nasa Ateneo."

Nagtatawanan lang ang tatlong magkakaibigan, maliban kay Kakucho na mukhang kanina pang nakatitig kung saan.

"You good?" Tanong ni Ran as he offered him a glass of whiskey.

Napatingin naman si Ran kung saan nakatitig si Kakucho, at kung ba't mukhang papatay si Kakucho sa kanyang tingin.

Ran just let out a silent laugh as he realized what his friend was looking at. It's you, (Y/N), dancing on the dance floor with a few men, and it seems like you have no idea what you're doing since you've been drunk for more than an hour. Plus, there are bottles of alcohol sprawled on the ground and on the table area of you and your friends.

Kakucho just nodded as he took the glass of whiskey from Ran. His eyes narrowed as he leaned back on the sofa and placed his other leg on top of his knee. He watched you while drinking the glass of whiskey, gripping it tightly that you can feel the glass slowly cracking in his hand.

"Hold it in, bro." Tawa ni Ran, patting Kakucho's shoulder. "Get your girl."

Kakucho tried to compose himself as he was silently watching you, and he was, until one of the drunk men dancing with you groped your butt, and you didn't even realize it.

Due to this, Kakucho's brows furrowed as he immediately stood up from the couch after putting the glass of whiskey on the table harshly that the glass cracked.

"U-Uy! Kaku! Bro!" Sigaw ni Ran nang hindi na niya ito napigilan. 

Napatingin naman ang mga magkakaibigan, pati na rin sina Hakkai na nasa kabilang table sa mangyayaring senaryo.

"Shit," Rindou cursed as he and the two men, Koko and Ran immediately stood up as well.

Hindi mo namalayan ang mga nangyayari sa gilid mo until you saw Kakucho.

Kakucho landed his fist on the man that groped you, causing him to fall on the ground with a bleeding nose and cracked lips.

You heard gasps and people talking in the background as they watched the scene, lumapit din sina Hakkai at para bang nahimasmasan ng tino at naalis ang pagkalasing.

Inawat naman nina Ran ang kanilang kaibigan na si Kakucho dahil kung ano pang mangyari't mas lumala pa ang gulo.

Ang lalaking nasuntok ni Kakucho ay mukhang walang balak na huminto, kaya't tumayo ito at dinapuan din ng suntok si Kakucho, causing his nose and lip to bleed as well.

"Naghahanap ka ng gulo?" Marahas na pagkasabi ng lalaki nang sinunggaban ang kwelyo ng damit ni Kakucho at nilapit ang mukha nito.

Kakucho clicked his tongue as he looked away. "Watch your damn hand next time. That fucking simple."

Napakunot naman ng noo ang lalaki as he thought for a moment. After seconds, he finally realized.

"Ah," sunod ay malakas na tawa nito.

"Was it that girl?" The man asked, pointing at you who's cowering at the corner with Hakkai and your friends comforting you, and clearly soaked in fear.

Kakucho just stayed silent, yet kept a stern expression, letting the man grab his collar, even tho' he hates people touching him.

"You know, man, there's a lot more bitches there like her. They all look the fucking same. Pointed nose, rose pale skin, and shit. You can find them in those clubs... You can even fuck them hoes—" Sabi pa ng lalaki, ngunit hindi na ito natuloy nang sinuntok ni Kakucho, at hindi ito huminto rito, hinila pa niya ang lalaki at tinulak ito sa mga lamesa na puno ng mga bote at mga balbaling baso.

"FUCK!" Sigaw ng lalaking natumba. Sinubukan nitong tumayo, ngunit nasugatan ito dahil sa mga bubog galing sa mga nabasag na baso at bote.

Kakucho clenched his jaw in irritation as he stood in front of the men laying on the ground in a clearly, pained state.

"Kakucho— Kaku, angal na. Napatay mo na yata, haha." Bulong nina Ran nang patuloy paring inaawat si Kakucho.

Hindi nagtagal at naawat na rin ng mga bouncer ang gulo. Kakucho's breathing is ragged, and you can see the tint of anger in his eyes. He wiped the blood on his lips with his thumb and poked his tongue inside his cheek as he let his friends and the bouncer pull him away from the scene.

Before Kakucho walked away, he gave you a stern look, like a warning one. You have no idea if he's also mad at you. He couldn't be, right? Napalunok ka nalang dahil dito.

"Nah, dude, fuck that. Tignan mo ba naman 'yung relo, parang pwede nang ipangsangla, e."

Inis naman na pagkasabi ni Ran sa tabi ni Kakucho sa labas ng club. Magkakasama na rin ang mga magkakaibigan habang kayong mga babae ay nasa loob parin ng club, talking with the bouncers about what happened to resolve the issue quickly.

Kakucho is just sitting there silently, both of his elbows on top of his knees while on a man spread and leaning forward. He clicked his tongue in annoyance and pain while he was slowly tapping clothed ice on the bruises on his face.

"For real, tapos 'yung kwintas niya? Putangina sa sobrang kinang pati mukha niya kumikinangina na."

"He looks cheap as fuck."

"Bro looks like a twig."

"Nah he built like a lizard."

"Watch me drain his digits."

Aside from Kakucho, puro mga ganitong salita ang binabato ng mga kaibigan nitong sina Ran. Wala talagang preno ang bibig, lalo't nang kapag isa sakanilang magkakaibigan ay napahamak.

"Where's (Y/N)?" Biglang tanong ni Kakucho na kanina pa tahimik at nagtitimpi sa inis.

"Ha?" Sagot ni Ran.

Napa-isip din si Kakucho. Oo nga pala. "I meant Helian, (Y/N)."

"Ah," napakamot nalang ng ulo si Ran.

"May namimiss." Sabi ni Rindou habang umuubo-ubo.

"Muling ibalik... ang tamis... ng... pag-ibig..." Sunod pa na bulong nito't kumakanta pa.

"'Nahimik ka baka gusto mong ikaw sunod kong suntukin ko." Komento ni Ran.

"They contacted me, they said they'll go out soon. They already resolve the problem. The man offered to pay Helian as an apology, but she refused." Koko suddenly informed.

Kakucho raised a brow. "Refused?"

"She knows her ways with money." Kakucho said, shaking his head as he slightly chuckled.

Lumabas na rin kayo ng club, at ang una niyong nasilayan ay sina Kakucho na naka tambay sa gilid. Tumayo na rin si Kakucho and walked past you as he grabbed his car keys out.

Hindi na kailangang sabihin pa ni Kakucho dahil alam mo na ang signal. Sumunod ka nalang sa kanya, and you know that you're not fully sober yet.

Nagpaalam naman na si Kakucho sa mga kaibigan mo at kina Ran bago pumasok sa kanyang kotse.

You opened the door to his front seat, making Kakucho smirk. Not only she knows her money, but she knows her place. 

A passenger princess indeed.

"Hey, about what happened earlier—" You muttered, but was cut off.

"Don't mention it."

You looked at him for a few seconds, then nodded. "Got it."

"If it's not too much of a bother for you." Kakucho said, then started to drive off.

"I... I didn't notice or feel that he was already touching me," you said, sighing in frustration. "I-I feel irresponsible and careless."

"It's not your fault." He sternly replied, keeping his eyes on the road while keeping a firm grip on the steering wheel.

"I know— But—"

"You felt guilty?" He cut off.

"Well, yeah."

Kakucho stayed silent for a moment, making you initiate the conversation again. You know, maybe it's better when you're drunk all the time with him because in this state, nawawala ang kahiyaan mo.

"Honestly, you still look so damn hot with your bruises." You said, attempting to flirt while winking, pero dalawang mata mo ang pumipikit.

Kakucho just looked at you weirdly and shook his head with a sigh.

Patuloy ka lang nagk-kwento habang nakikinig si Kakucho. Hindi mo alam kung naiintindihan niya ba lahat ng mga sinasabi mo because you're just speaking gibberish at this point.

"Kaku," tawag mo sa kanya.

"What?"

"I feel like I'll throw up." Sabi mo.

"Then throw up." Kakucho replied.

You blinked and turned your head to him. "You won't get mad or anything?"

"Why would I get mad? You know that holding your vomit can cause harm." Kakucho replied.

"Damn," you say, burping. "Excuse me. Ew. God."

"Ah shit," Kakucho muttered as he know that you're going to--

"EURGHK!" You gagged, making weird noises as you vomited in his car.

Kakucho winced as he looked away, waiting for you to finish. "You want me to help or?"

Nakalipas ang ilang minuto, at pansin ni Kakucho na tumahimik after almost vomiting your whole organs. 

"Fell asleep?" He sighed, looking at the mess. 

He looked at you while stuck in the traffic, and yeah, you fell asleep after that. He almost got worried that you fell unconscious, but hell! He can hear the small snores. 

The red hue from the cars and the city lights illuminated your rested feature while sleeping peacefully. He observed your face and was distracted for a moment before cars started honking, at nagulat ito dahil naka greenlight na pala.

Kakucho sighed. He doesn't even know if he was distracted or starstruck.

"AAARGH!"

Sigaw mo habang buhat ka ni Kakucho papuntang condo unit mo. He grabbed your key card and opened your door to your unit. Dumiretso ito sa kusina pagkatapos kang i-higa sa sofa. Kakucho grabbed a glass of water and made you drink.

"I have a brand shoot tomorrow~!" You whined. 

Nang hindi umaabot ang tubig sa bibig mo, hinablot mo nalang kay Kakucho ang baso sa kamay niya at nilaklak nang diretso ang tubig na parang alak.

Kakucho looked at you weirdly once again.

"What now?" You groggily asked as you aggressively handed him back the glass of water.

"What do you mean?"Kakucho asked, returning the glass of water to the sink to get another one for himself and asking— "you know I can't just leave you here like this, no?"

"Uh– Nah uh, absolutely not." Sagot mo nang umupo nang diretso, making Kakucho give you another weird look.

It's clear that you're not fully sober.

"What time is your shoot tomorrow?" Tanong ni Kakucho.

"Ermm I dunnaur."

"What?"

"Eight in the morning."

"Then go to sleep already." Sabi ni Kakucho.

Kakucho turned his head to you after you haven't responded, and he sighed as you quickly fell asleep. He walked to you and shook you with your shoulders. "Hey, clean yourself up. Get dressed."

"You reek damn alcohol." Kakucho added as he scrunched his nose. He got to admit, even if she's a mess like this and smells like alcohol, you can still smell a tinge of her vanilla & rose perfume scent.

"You can shower me." Sabi mo, attempting to flirt again.

"What the fuck? Clean yourself up." Kakucho scolded.

"Ihhh," inis mo pang pagkasabi.

"Or I'll take your clothes off by myself."

Kahit lasing ka, naintindihan mo ang nasabi nito, at nanlaki ang mga mata mo. Your confidence and flirting skills went down the drain.

"Are you kidding?" You asked, hiding the cheeky grin forming in your mouth.

"Of course I'm kidding. I just said that to wake your senses up." Kakucho said as he flicked your forehead.

"Ow!"

"Now clean yourself up, get dressed, go to your room, and go to sleep. You still have an early shoot tomorrow." Sabi ni Kakucho.

"K fine." You answered, rolling your eyes.

"Good."

Tumayo ka at kinuha ang twalya sa kwarto mo. You look behind and wave the towel at Kakucho who's sitting on the couch with his arms crossed, waiting.

"Are you sure?" Tanong mo na may kasamang tawa.

"What do you mean?"

"Are you sure that you don't want to take a shower with m—"

"(Y/N)." Bago mo pa matuloy ang sasabihin mo, Kakucho cuts you off.

Pumasok ka na rin agad sa banyo para maligo. Hindi mo alam kung anong ginagawa mo sa loob, tipong nagsh-shampoo habang kumakanta, at biglaang nagkukulot ng buhok sa harap ng salamin.

You took a cold shower, at para bang pusa kang naligo dahil halos ginawin ka na, at nagulat ka nang nahimasmasan ka ng tubig. It's like a truck hitting you to your senses and reality.

"Holy fuck," bulong mo nang nagpanic.

Dahan-dahan mong binuksan ang pinto at sumilip sa may living room pagkatapos mong maligo, at nakita mong nakaupo ro'n si Kakucho.

Napahawak ka sa ulo mo gamit ang dalawang kamay nang sinusubukang alalahanin ang mga sinabi mo at paikot-ikot kang naglalakad sa banyo habang naka on pa ang shower.

Narealize mo rin na wala ka dalang damit, at towel lang ang nasa banyo. Alam niyo 'yung feeling na parang naiwan mo 'yung twalya mo, at hindi ka makalabas dahil may mga bisita.

"Okay speed," bulong mo sa sarili mo nang binalot ng twalya ang katawan mo at planong tumakbo papunta kwarto.

Dahan-dahan mong binuksan ang pinto to not make any noises that can bother Kakucho in the living room.

Ngunit hindi mo napansin na wala pala ro'n si Kakucho at nang pagka labas mo nang banyo, naka banggaan mo si Kakucho, making the towel unwrap and almost fall.

Kakucho immediately turned his head away. "What the hell?"

"Why are you in front of the bathroom?!" Tanong mo pa habang inaayos ang twalya.

"I thought you passed out. It was silent there for like twenty minutes." Kakucho replied. You observed his face, seems like he's telling the truth. He looks serious too.

"I mean, I was silent?" You retorted.

Kakucho is clearly holding back his laugh as he snorted.

"Oh yeah? I think I heard a different girl singing, then." Sabi pa nito.

"WHA–?!" Your eyes widened. Ew! If there's one thing you'll never do, that is singing! You have a bad voice! Parang dwendeng inipit!

"Your voice was so loud." Dagdag pa nito, and obviously mocking you with his tone. "Nice voice, tho'."

"Shut up!" Sigaw mo.

"Alright," Kakucho said, raising both of his hands.

Napansin mo naman ang pasa sa labi niya, at dahil malabo ang naalala mo kanina, napakunot ka ng noo.

"Oh right," you muttered.

You have no idea what to do. As far as you remember, Kakucho told you not to mention it anymore.

"Dress up first." Kakucho said as he cleared his throat.

You clicked back to reality at agad ka namang tumango nang naglakad nang mabilis papuntang kwarto.

Your stepsister is already sleeping on the side of your bed, and you sighed. Umupo ka sa gilid ng kama, at kinumutan si Aisha.

Sighing in melancholy, you thought of the fact na aalis din si Aisha and she'll come back to your stepmother again as soon as the school year ends. I mean, makikita mo parin naman siya kapag umuuwi ka sa mansion ng dad mo, but if you thoroughly think of it, iba parin talaga kapag araw-araw mo siyang nakakasama sa condo mo, at araw-araw mo siyang hinahatid sundo sa school mo tuwing may club, at pati na rin sa school niya.

It's undeniable that you hate her at first, but as time eventually passes, a soft side for her blooms in your heart, like how a flower blooms.

Nabulabog ang mga iniisip mo nang narinig mong kumatok si Kakucho sa nakabukas na pintuan.

"I'll be going now." Pagpapaalam ni Kakucho.

"Oh uh," tumango ka nalang at agad namang tumayo para samahan siya palabas. "Did you eat dinner already? Just stay and eat here first—"

"It's okay," Kakucho said as he went out.

"Are you sure—? You know that I'm not drunk anymore... I can cook kahit it's late na—" Sabi mo pa.

"No, it's alright... I'm just glad that you're home safe." Kakucho said before turning away, and you caught a glimpse of him slightly smiling.

"...Right," sabi mo nang may patagong ngiti at bumulong sa sarili. "It's all on you."

"Oh yeah? All on me?" Narinig naman ito ni Kakucho and looked back at you.

"Nothing. I said good night. Drive home safely." You said while leaning on the door, directly smiling as you couldn't hold it anymore.

Kakucho also couldn't help but let the smile out. That smile of yours is really contagious.

"Good night, (Y/N)."

Bati pa ni Kakucho, at umalis na rin. Kumaway ka pa sa kanya sa dulo ng hallway bago sumara ang elevator doors. Pumasok ka na rin sa unit mo, at halos magsi-talon ka sa kilig nang sa sala.

"Ew ew oh my—! AAA!" Sigaw mo pa, ngunit na realize mo na natutulog na pala si Aisha at agad kang tumahimik.

You caught yourself simping more often, and when you catch yourself lacking every time, you scold yourself. I mean, there's nothing wrong, ngunit bakit guilty na guilty ka sa tuwing kinikilig ka?

Is it because this affection you're feeling right now feels foreign and new?

You sighed, plopping yourself down on the couch as you keep on thinking about Kakucho. That man really punched a drunkard in the club, paid for your expenses, let you vomit in his car, drove you home safely, and even took care of you in your own unit.

Yeah, this feeling might be new.

Aaminin mo, hindi mo ginustong mag enroll sa kasalukuyang paaralan mo, and you totally regretted that decision before. Those times when you felt stressed, drained, and everything was in shambles, you wanted to give up, but despite those and the arguments, and the belittling Kakucho made you feel, you somehow felt a light feather in your chest. You absolutely felt guilty for liking him. Mali, e. Mukhang mali. Pinapamukha ng mga tao sa paligid mo na mali, at pati na rin ng sarili mo.

But Kakucho didn't just let your guilt eat your feelings. It's like he's pursuing you to like him.

You remember those words. It was all clear in your head, and still is.

You know that you're gaining exposure online and to the public now. An influencer, sponsoring and modeling for products, receiving PR packages, and a beauty vlogger? They were just one of your dreams as a little girl before.

"I'm not maarte, I'm just kikay." You muttered, sighing. "Those jealous bitches are miserable. I love helping girls out, you know? Yet they assume I'm a mean girl or what. Yeah, fuck stereotypes sometimes. This is why I can't go blonde."

Of course, having a platform online also has effects, such as those guys who slide in your Instagram DMs, mostly from TikTok.

And... those previous men that had a crush on you before never pursued you. You were never pursued, and you were only liked, admired, and to fill their time only.

"I want to be pursued..."

Alam niyo 'yung parang... pass time lang?

Men... Men are stupid sometimes. Sila unang papasok sa buhay ng babae, at sila rin 'yung unang aalis! Ano 'yon, entertainment purposes?

Tinatanong tanong pa sila noon— "So, why did you like me?"

"Ang ganda at sexy mo kasi."

Halos napakunot nalang ang noo mo noon. You wanted to give them an "Are you serious, bitch?" expression, but of course, they wouldn't just get and understand that. They're dumb as well.

 You're indeed out of their league.

They're all the same. It's the same with those other men.

And with your previous exes.

It's been years since you last had your relationship. Iniisip mo nalang na it's just a typical puppy high school love kahit iniyakan mo ang mga puta na 'yon!

This is why you're a hopeless romantic today, even though you're a ten out of ten, even though your beauty is out of this world! Hindi talaga kapani-paniwala na you're still single. Even your friends and relatives question you about that.

At ang sagot mo naman... "I'm not ready."

Mhm, that's right, and at the same time, not really.

It's just... those men never pursue you.

But him?

You felt stupid, really, and you don't want to think any further, but he's making you feel like... Kakucho is the first man who hasn't liked you just because of your looks.

And he's the only person to always ever call you by "(Y/N)". In that name, you felt at home, lalo't nang kapag siya ang tumatawag sa'yo, even though you hate that name.

You felt sheltered.

"Helian." It's a pretty name, but behind the beauty of it, you felt suffocated. Your fans, family, relatives, and friends call you 'Helian'. Kapag 'yan ang tawag sa'yo, you feel like you need to try, to fake something in yourself, to meet their standards, to try hard to maintain that image of yours.

Gano'n din ba kapag may mahal kang isang tao? Kailangan mong magpanggap, kailangan mong gawin 'to, gawin 'yan, para lang sa kanya? Do people really have to pretend and pressure themself just to maintain the "affection" of the person they like?

You felt choked in those previous relationships because you pretend, you try hard.

"I want someone to actually love me dearly, not just for my looks, and not just for any shallow reasons."

Sabi mo, at hindi mo nang namalayan na lumilipas na ang oras habang nakahiga ka lang sa sofa, letting the city lights illuminate your dim condo unit through your large glass wall.

"Every time I'm with Kakucho... I don't feel suffocated by him. I felt at ease with him. With him, I feel like I can do anything without being genuinely judged, even if he gives me those judging looks, HAHAHA... I just... I don't have to pressure myself around him to look pretty. I want someone like Kakucho."

You said, sighing as you feel your heart feeling at ease, yet jumping in affection.

"No, I want him."

A/N: hello, I missed y'all! finally updated yss! feel free to read. I also pasted it here from my message board.

I was inactive for weeks due to events such as my school recognition, but somehow, bad news came. my grandfather just recently passed away, and in the past few days, my days were full of mourning, helping my family to take care of his funeral, and staying up all night to stay with my grandfather's coffin. I didn't feel scared at all in those nights :skull: I honestly felt more at ease. I snuck my laptop in throughout that week to write and stay in touch with you guys :sob: I really apologize for the very slow updates. I know I keep on saying this, apologizing repeatedly for slow updates since S&C, but please bear with me. I promise, I'm really trying.

recently, I've been feeling exhausted physically and mentally because days before my grandfather passed away, I had been stressed out due to school and lotta personal stuff, but seeing the messages you guys were sending me when I opened my socials genuinely made me smile and removed the heavy feeling in my chest. I love you guys so so much, and my readers are my source of motivation to keep myself writing more chapters everyday.

also, I'm sorry if I wasn't responding on wattpad, discord, and other apps. I'll never ghost and ignore y'all on purpose, remember that 4ever! I have a soft spot for u guys (⁠╯⁠︵⁠╰⁠,⁠) ♡ 

+ if u guys added me on facebook, followed me on insta, twt, or any apps, and wants to be moots, pls pls just inform me! I didn't know that I have readers pala who added me on fb, and I wasn't accepting them until now since I thought they were just random accs. I welcome everyone to my space, and I absolutely love befriending my readers.

that's all! I hope that y'all enjoyed the new update. ily all! (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡