❝ TOWARDS THE SUN ❞

"Bye bye!" Sabi pa nila at lumabas na ng classroom habang iniwan kayong dalawa ni Kakucho sa classroom.

Halos habulin mo naman sila. How dare they?! Planado 'to e, alam mo. Halata na!

Lumingon ka naman to see Kakucho already cleaning the classroom, unbothered, at parang wala siyang kasama sa classroom.

Kakucho noticed you staring, and he raised his brow. "Not going to help?"

Agad ka namang umiling at kumuha ng feather duster. Nilinis mo naman ang mga shelves habang si Kakucho ay ang nagwawalis. The silence was eating you, and ito nanaman! Kapag kasama mo siya, palaging tahimik, walang gana.

"How's your day?" Biglang tanong ni Kakucho.

"Huh?" You were a bit taken aback by his question. He's not the type of person na nangangamusta, and you know that!

"I mean, it's good naman. How about yours?" Sagot mo.

Kakucho just nodded, then answered as well. "Stressful. Puyat."

You looked at Kakucho, and you only noticed his gloomy expression now. Mukhang todo nga ang pagpupuyat nito, dahil na rin siguro sa paghahabol niya sa schoolworks dahil kadalasan ay absent ito for his training.

"Because of the club? When is your tournament pala?" Tanong mo.

"Tagal pa," sagot ni Kakucho.

"Ah, yeah, anyway, my sister pala, she's joining the club as well." Banggit mo naman.

"Yeah, I heard it from Coach Cris." Kakucho replied.

"Really?! Yeah, actually you're right. Coach Cris tells everything!" Sagot mo.

Kakucho just barely laughed, at tinuloy lang ang paglilinis. Nalulungkot ka rin tuloy kapag ganito ang mood niya. You know that Kakucho can be nonchalant and gives no energy at all times, but you can't bear to see him at this extent! Iba na 'to.

"Can't you rest ba muna, by the way?" You asked.

"Rest?" Kakucho almost laughed at that. "What's 'rest'?"

"Rest means pahinga—?"

"No— That's not what I mean." Sabi naman ni Kakucho, at natawa naman ito.

Halos mapangiti ka naman dahil napatawa mo siya nang kahit papano. Sinadya mo talaga na sabihin 'yun.

"I can't rest. I missed a lot of schoolwork." Dagdag naman ni Kakucho.

Bigla mo tuloy naisipan... "What if I help him?!"

Literal na 'gagawin ko ang lahat pati ang thesis mo'.

"Kakucho, I know I'm bobo, but what if I help you?" You straightforwardly said.

"You?" Napataas naman ng kilay si Kakucho rito.

"Yeah? Who else? Is there someone in the room with us?" Biro mo naman, pero napatingin ka kay Kakucho nang hindi ito sumagot.

Nakatingin lang si Kakucho sa likuran mo, and you gathered your thoughts, thinking back what you said earlier.

"Hey!" Agad ka naman tumakbo papunta sa kanya habang dala dala ang dustpan at feather duster. "Don't scare me like that!"

"Gano'n ka pala matakot. Tatakbo agad." Bulong naman ni Kakucho, and you catch a glimpse of him secretly laughing.

Through your sudden intrusive thoughts, pinalo mo naman ang ulo ni Kakucho gamit ang feather duster, ang ginamit mong pang panlinis kaya't nalagyan ng alikabok ang buhok ni Kakucho.

(A/N: di po siya panot bwhaha ung buhok niya is ung sa bonten arc hehe)

"Ay!" Agad mo namang narealize ang ginawa mo. "Sorry!"

Hindi naman alam ang irereact ni Kakucho. Tatawa ba 'to o magagalit? He doesn't know, especially when you try to reach for the top of his head to brush off the speck of dust.

Kakucho just stares down at you while you're brushing the dust off his hair. You're close to Kakucho's chest, and you still don't realize the position you're in.

"Sabi na nga ba e!" Nagulat naman kayo nang biglang bumukas ang pintuan at pumasok ang iba niyong mga kaklase.

"Kayo ah! Sabi na e may something!" Sigaw naman nina Hakkai.

Puta, planado nga 'to.

With their thoughts and the situation you're in started to sink, agad ka namang lumayo kay Kakucho.

"Baka cleaners 'yan." Komento naman ni Makoto.

"Ridiculous," Kakucho just snorted and shook his head. Kinuha naman niya ang bag niya at naglakad palabas. "Bye."

"Wha—?!" Napatingin ka naman sa paglabas ni Kakucho, at kinuha mo na rin bag mo at iniwan nalang ang mga dumi at cleaning materials sa sahig. "Wait!"

Naiwan naman ang mga kaklase niyo sa loob, at napatingin nalang sila sa paligid dahil sa kalat.

"O tangina niyo kasi daming alam, nakatakas tuloy cleaners." Pagsisita naman nina Emma.

"Luh ugok isa ka rin be!" Pagbabatok naman ni Hakkai sa ulo nito.

"Bahala kayo r'yan—" Sabi ni Makoto nang maglalakad na sana paalis, ngunit hinablot ni Hakkai.

"Sa'n ka pupuntang kingina mo 'ka?" Angal naman ni Hakkai. "Linisin mo classroom."

"Ba't ako?! Puta ano aalis kayo, gano'n?"

"Hindi, sa tabi mo lang daw si Hakkai." Sagot naman ni Yamagishi.

"Tangina talaga—"

"Ano? Bahala kayo r'yan— Maglilinis na 'ko. No choice e dinamay niyo pa 'ko." Sabi naman ni Ashanti nang kinuha ang walis.

"Okay pera at least confirmed. May something nga kina Kakucho!"

Well, ang kapalit naman ng pagkakaalam no'n ay sila ang maglilinis ng buong classroom.

"AAAA!"

Sigaw mo sa unan mo, at nasa condo ka naman ngayon. Nakapatong lang ang laptop mo sa may kama kasama ang mga libro dahil may tinatapos kang assignment, ngunit mukhang may bumubulabog sa utak mo.

"Ate, why are you screaming?" Tanong naman ni Aisha na nakahiga sa kama mo, at dito na rin siya natutulog.

"Nothing," sagot mo lang at back to normal na ulit ang expression mo na parang walang nangyari.

Binuksan mo naman ang phone mo to check notifications, ngunit biglang lumabas sa recommendation mo ang account ng isang babae, which you're very familiar with, si (Y/N) Lauren.

You suddenly felt a gut-wrenching feeling in the pit of your stomach as you remembered the past events you've been in with the Haitanis and Lauren.

Biglang nawala ang ngiti mo, and you decided to check Lauren's account.

Nakita mo na she's studying in Ateneo now, and she's making progress, stepping up her game, and exploring more opportunities.

Ran Haitani, her partner before, and almost everyone knows that Lauren and him are inseparable, kaya't halos magtaka ang mga tao no'n kung bakit bigla nalang naglaho ang pagsasama ng dalawa.

That day, in Baguio, you know you're the person who ruined that special day.

You were the person behind their separation.

Too deep in thoughts, hindi mo na rin napapansin na kanina ka pa nags-scroll sa account ni Lauren.

A sudden wash of melancholy fell over you, rather, a pang of guilt.

Sinubukan mong alisin sa isip mo, trying to escape this dilemma, kaya't naghilamos ka nang saglit, did your whole night routine, and finished your homework.

Yet while you're doing those, those thoughts bothered you althrough out.

Humiga ka nalang sa kama and turned the lights off then also turned the night lamps on.

You let your weariness wash over you, still trying to escape the thoughts that kept on engulfing your mind.

"May bagong bukas daw na stall sa canteen?"

Kwentuhan naman nina Hakkai, as usual, sa classroom at dahil dismissal naman na rin, dito muna kayo tumambay.

"Tara!" Pag-aaya naman ni Ashanti. "Mamaya pa naman kami uuwi ni Takashi."

Napansin naman nina Emma ang katahimikan mo, at kanina pa nu'ng first subject.

"Hi be," bati naman ni Hakkai sa'yo kahit kanina mo pa sila kasama. "Ano ganap today?"

"What?" You blinked your thoughts away nang tinawag ka nila.

"Galit ka ba sa nangyari kahapon? HUHU! Sorry, ha! Dami kasi alam nina Makoto—"

"Huh? Galit? Me?" Nagtaka ka naman dahil dito. "No? I'm not."

"Ba't ang tahimik mo?"

"Really?" You just blinked cluelessly.

"Oo."

"I have to go now." You suddenly said as you grabbed your bags. Nagulat naman sina Hakkai rito, especially with how you're acting weird for the whole day.

Nagsitinginan naman sina Hakkai sa'yo nang paalis ka na. They just looked at each other and shrugged.

Agad ka namang dumiretso sa parking lot pagka labas mo ng school para na rin maka-alis. You just drove out of the school. You played some music to ease your nervousness.

Hindi ka didiretso sa condo o sa bahay ngayon, kundi sa ibang destinasyon. Kabado kang nagmamaneho, and your fingers tapping the steering wheel frantically says a lot.

Sa sobrang abala mo, hindi mo na rin napansin na malapit ka na pala sa destinasyon mo.

Inobserbahan mo muna ang lugar, and you knew that this university is the place where you need to head to.

Ateneo de Manila.

You drove to the entrance of the university, but a guard inquired about you before completely letting you into the establishment.

"Ah, hi, yes. I'm visiting an acquaintance... L-Lauren (L/N)." Mahina mong pagkasabi.

"Teka lang po," sagot naman ng guard, at tumango ka naman. Naghintay ka lang sa kotse nang ilang minuto habang pinagmamasdan ang façade ng building sa labas.

"Ma'am, nagsubmit po ba kayo ng approval form prior the day visiting?" Tanong naman ng guard.

"Oh, it's needed?" Nagtaka ka naman dahil dito. You should really get used to universities in the Philippines like this.

"I'm really sorry, it's really urgent, can't I just sign the form here?" Tanong mo pa.

"Pasensya na po, ma'am, policy po kasi 'yun dito, tsaka mukhang estudyante rin po kayo, ma'am, sana po maintindihan niyo." Sagot naman ng guard.

Napabugtong hininga ka nalang, at ayaw mo rin namang sawayin at guluhin pa ang guard na ginagawa lamang ang kanyang trabaho.

"Sige po, thank you po." Sabi mo nalang, and just decided to drive back home.

Maybe it's really a sign.

Then, you caught a glimpse of a familiar figure quickly walking in your car's direction, malapit sa entrance kung saan din ang guardhouse.

It's Lauren, at halos kabahan ka, but you try to compose yourself. After all, siya naman ang sadya mo rito, right?

"Kuya, papasukin niyo po," rinig mong sabi ni Lauren sa guard bago ka pa saraduhan ng gate.

Sumagot naman ang guard, at hindi mo na narinig ang sunod pa nilang usapan. Halos maging statwa ka nalang sa loob ng kotse.

Then, suddenly, lumapit naman ang guard sa kotse mo. Binaba mo naman ang bintana mo dahil mukhang kakausapin ka.

"Ma'am, pasok na po."

Nagulat ka naman dahil dito. Bigla kang pinayagan?!

You looked over the guard's shoulder, and see Lauren standing there. She subtly smiled at you and gave you a small wave.

Your eyes widened. How can she be like this, look like this, and act like this toward you after what you've done?

Halos matulala ka nalang as the guilt starts to eat you once again, and it's worse than last night since you're seeing Lauren right now, in person, and up close.

"Ma'am, papasok ka pa po?" Tanong naman ng guard.

"U-Uh," tumango ka nalang at agad nang nagmaneho.

"I'll meet you at the gazebo." Mahinhing pagkasabi naman ni Lauren.

You felt dumbfounded, kaya't hindi mo na rin alam ang isasagot mo kundi tango nalang.

You entered the place, and luckily, you quickly found a parking lot. Agad ka naman ding lumabas ng kotse pagka-park, and you roam around the university to find the gazebo Lauren was talking about, hopefully iisa lang sa area na 'yon because this university seems big.

"Helian," saktong rinig mong tawag ni Lauren sa'yo, at lumingon ka naman to see her sitting at one of the gazebos.

You also walked in the gazebo, and looking around, the place seems peaceful, only the chirping of birds can be heard. Walang masyadong estudyante, at malamig ang simoy ng hangin.

"Um," Lauren muttered. "What is it that you want to talk about?"

Your eyes widened for a bit, stuttering between your words. "Ah w-well—"

"T-Thank you for letting me in. I felt like this was so sudden and random for me to come to visit you at your university. You must be busy, especially you have classes—" Dali-dali mong pagkasabi dahil na rin sa panic.

"No, Helian, it's fine." Ngiti naman ni Lauren. "We're already dismissed. It's my vacant time."

You can feel your heart pounding in your chest in nervousness. You felt intimidated by her, but her tone and her overall ambiance say otherwise.

"How'd you know I was at the entrance?" You asked.

"I was called by the office because the guard also called them that I have a visitor named 'Helian'."

Feeling trepidation, you almost kneeled next to her and spat apologies like a mantra.

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."

Halos manlaki naman ang mga mata ni Lauren nang nakita kang halos lumuhod na sa tabi niya as you grabbed her hands and apologized endlessly. 

Lauren expected something like this, ngunit nagulat parin ito.

"Hey, stand up, Helian, stand up. Madumi d'yan. You don't need to do that—" Rini mong sabi ni Lauren as she tries to pull you up.

"I know I ruined a lot for you, I know I put a bad image on you in the public, I know I ruined your date in Baguio. Tita Rochelle favored me which ruined your relationship with Ran. I'm really sorry." You said with such sincerity, at hindi mo na rin pinapansin na pinapatayo ka ni Lauren.

"I'm really sorry, (Y/N)." You said, at nasisikmura mo na ring sabihin ang pangalan na 'yon, the name you both share.

Lauren stared at you for a while, and as if on cue, heavy rain starts to fall, causing the both of you to get stuck in this small gazebo. Luckily, there's a roof deck.

"I know, I understand... Stand up, Helian." Sabi naman ni Lauren as she lifts you up from the ground.

"I'm really sorry." Halos maluha ka naman dahil sa iba't-ibang mga rason. You don't want to believe that this is the reaction of Lauren. You know that you don't deserve her kindness and this kind of treatment, a treatment that is as if you've done nothing.

"I actually wanted to talk to you a long time ago... to ask you why you did that... I can't deny that I felt fury, anger, and hatred towards you, but as soon as I heard your name from the office, I know that I had to set my emotions aside." Lauren muttered.

"....I'll do anything for your forgiveness... N-No pressure... I'll do my best to fix the relationship you had with Ran— I don't have further intentions. I'm so sorry, (Y/N). It was all on me, I made a fatal mistake—" Tuloy mo pa.

Lauren just blinked, and she swallowed a lump in her throat as she looked away for a moment, as if sinking your words in.

It took seconds for Lauren to hug you back, and her embrace is really the definition of warm. No wonder why Ran fell head over heels for this girl, and you're the person that ruined them.

"I just have one question... and a favor." Lauren said, and your ears perked up.

"W-What is it? I'll do anything—"

"How is Ran?" Maikling tanong ni Lauren, ngunit alam mong mabigat ang laman ng tanong na ito.

You know that you're the reason for their separation, and you had to answer it.

"H-He's your schoolmate, right? How is he?" Tanong pa niya.

You just nodded and eventually answered. "Ran is doing fine... Although I can tell he's missing something... someone."

Lauren's eyes beamed and sparkled. She subtly smiled and nodded, and it was obvious that she tries to hide it because she has no certainty about Ran for the past few months.

"Do you miss him? Do you want me to drive you to the school to meet him—?" You offered.

"No, no. It's fine." Lauren said, and you can see the melancholy laced in her voice.

May panghihinayang ang boses ni Lauren.

"...But yeah, I miss him." Bulong ni Lauren, and she just continued saying these words.

"I want to see him, but I can't bear to face him..." 

"I miss him so much. Kasalanan ko rin 'to noon. I didn't listen to his side... I felt rushed. I felt confused. I felt pressured. I hurled it all on him... when what he only did to me was to make me feel happy."

"I miss him, Helian."

You know that Lauren isn't fond of these. She's not the type to let her sentiments out, especially to a complete stranger.

Nonetheless, you felt special because she tells you these things somehow.

"I really ruined a lot, didn't I? It's all on me, Lauren. That day... on Baguio... it's supposed to be special for the two of you. Tita Rochelle had to... s-she wants me to be with Ran on that day. I-I couldn't disappoint her as well... because my dad was also rooting for me before... to be with Ran. I didn't want to have feelings for Ran, but I somehow still fell for him... knowing he already has someone. It's still my fault. I'm sorry." You said.

"Lauren, please, let me do you a favor." Dagdag mo pa.

Lauren stayed silent for a moment, and she also hasn't realized that she lets her sentiments out.

"Please update me about Ran... At least every week, but don't tell him..." Bulong ni Lauren.

Lauren's face reddened. It's obvious that she's a bit embarrassed by her favor. She just looked away and pushed her glasses up in shame.

"I will. I promise." Sagot mo naman.

After the whole occurrence, Lauren and Helian just bonded after that. You offered her to go shopping in the mall, and of course, it's all your treat, despite Lauren's multiple insisting. Muntik nalang ay mag-away kayo kung sino ang magbabayad, but you know that this is one of your ways of favoring Lauren this time. You're willing to do what you lacked before, and it's treating Lauren like this.

This whole day seems unexpected, and you know that you hate unexpected things, but this was an exception. 

As time passes by, you'll do your best to shift your perspective and be in someone's shoes. You won't escape from your mistakes, but instead, face them wholeheartedly.

After all, what kind of person escapes from their mistake?

Another stage is the growth of the sunflower. They always plead to the sun for pardon. It will depict a new, bright day that will clear the storms from the dark skies.

People grow from their mistakes, like how a sunflower grows from its seeds.