Requested by black_errors
[🛑New Requests Closed🛑]

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Jungkook stood on the airport tarmac, staring at the private jet that he was about to embark on. He couldn't help but notice the air seemed a bit chillier than usual, maybe it was because it was the early hours of the morning or maybe because winter was just on the horizon, he wasn't too sure. He looked up and down the pavement aligned with other planes that were actually attached to the airport building. The company decided to send him to the airport via a separate entrance, and to have him go outside and get on the jet privately to avoid overcrowding.

A cold, sharp wind whisked through his black strands of hair, which he didn't notice were beginning to stick to his forehead. The sun was barely on the horizon yet , he checked his phone to see it was only 4:50 AM.

He could feel his heart beating fast as he was getting ready to go up the steps onto the jet. This was a new journey for him. His Jin hyung and Hobi hyung had already enlisted into the military, and he knew this would be his last endeavor before he too had to follow that same path along with the rest of them.

He'd give anything to have them there with him.

He had so much to say to them. So many concerns about heading to New York City to promote his new solo album "Seven." He was headed to the city to give multiple interviews and multiple performances.

Alone.

Without any hyungs.

You're on your own.

He looked around to see nobody beside him, as his manager and body guard were already onboard and waiting. The youngest of BTS needed a moment to take in the fresh air before he was ready to get on. He felt his heart seize up when he realized how incredibly alone he felt.

On top of that, he couldn't deny the slight headache that was forming in the front of his skull and causing pressure behind his eyes.

It's just because it's early in the morning. It's just because I'm stressed. When I get there I will feel much, much better.

Unfortunately, that is not how things played out for him.

After countless hours of flying, by the time Jungkook landed in the city his body felt a million times worse. He told himself it was simply jetlag and he just needed a nice long rest in a real bed and some real food.

I have to get better quickly because I have so many interviews and performances. I can not be getting sick right now. It's not a cold, I am being paranoid.

The first thing he did after landing was head straight for the hotel. It was even colder in New York City than it was back in Seoul, and breathing in the dry, crispy air only made his head and his sinuses hurt worse. Thankfully he had a few days to himself before having to make any public appearances, so he was hoping to get better before then.

His manager who had gone with him, whose name was Chik, offered to go out to a nearby convenience store and pick up any kind of cold medicine he'd like. His bodyguard, whose name was Lee, offered to also go out and get him food from any local restaurants.

"I would love that, thank you," Jungkook replied as he sprawled out in his hotel bed. Jungkook decided to send Lee off to pick up some hot ramen from a local Korean restaurant, as he was really craving a taste of home. Not feeling well and being without any of his members was instantly taking somewhat of a mental toll on him, and he couldn't help but already feel homesick.

While his manager Chik was just about to head out to grab some medicine, Jungkook caught his attention. "You don't think I really have a cold, do you? I can't afford to get sick. Not here. Not right now."

Manager Chik watched as Jungkook was wiping dripping snot from his nose. He could see the boy's eyes watery and bloodshot. He could hear it right in the singer's voice that he sounded a bit stuffy and not like himself.

"Unfortunately," Chik replied, "it would appear you have caught something. Hopefully the medicine I pick up helps you."

Jungkook threw his face into his pillow and released a scream of frustration. He heard manager Chik leave the room as the hotel door locked shut. 

No no no no!

Feeling a bit trapped in his emotions, he couldn't help but start crying. This promotion was so incredibly important to him. This was his very first complete solo album, and he put his heart, body, and soul into making it perfect. He didn't want to screw up this promotion because of some damn germs he may have caught along the way.

What will the fans think if my performances aren't good? What if I suck? They will think I am not good anymore! Everything I put into this solo debut and this new album...people are going to think I am not capable. That I can't do it on my own. That I'm nothing without the others.

His concern was never for himself or what his own body needed, but it was only ever for what he could provide his fans. He felt like he quite literally owed them his life, and if he couldn't deliver the best of himself then he'd failed.

He let his tears soak into his pillow as he continued to let these negative thoughts surround him. The more he cried the more the pressure around his nose and eyes got worse. His body continued to feel utterly exhausted, and he also noticed the slight wheezing coming from his lungs. He tried to cough and could hear the rattling echo throughout his rib cage as he began to spit up mucus.

Please, no.

He was desperate for sleep, but his racing thoughts kept him awake. When Chik and Lee both returned with food and medicine, he couldn't thank them enough. He was so sure this would cure him and it would cure him quickly.

It didn't.

The few days that followed were nothing but absolute hell and misery for Jungkook.

His nose had completely clogged up to the point where he couldn't breathe through it at all. His headache had morphed into an unbearable migraine, along with intense sinus pressure that made his face feel as though it was going to explode. He could barely breathe.

And the worst possible thing he could have ever imagined became his reality.

He could barely talk.

He had been taking so much medicine the past few days and clearly none of it was working. Whatever hit him had hit him hard.

It was now the night before his first interview and performance, and he was completely freaking out. He paced back and forth in his hotel room attempting to practice. He wasn't able to hit any of his usual high notes without falling into a coughing fit and spitting up mucus. He wasn't able to take in enough air to hold a stable note.

I'm not able to perform. I can't do it. It's ruined. Everything is ruined.

He worked himself up in into a slight panic attack as he thought of how these upcoming shows would be an absolute disaster.

He wasn't used to dealing with this on his own. He was so used to having six others around him to take over and cover for him if he was too sick to sing, whether it be by switching parts or singing along with him to help make his voice seem louder.

But right now you're on your own.

His chest started to heave up and down at a much faster rate at the thought of having to cancel his entire solo debut. The hotel walls felt like they were closing in on him as he clutched his chest to try and steady his breathing, but the cold wasn't allowing him to do so.

He needed help. He needed advice.

He needed Namjoon.

It has to be morning by now at home. I need to call Namjoonie hyung.

He immediately dialed for his leader.

Please pick up. Please pick up hyung. I don't know what to do.

"Jungkook!" Namjoon's voice sounded chipper on the other end. "Isn't it late for you? I was going to call and wish you good luck but I wasn't sure if you were sleeping or not and I didn't want to disturb y-"

"-Hyung! Namjoonie hyung I can't do it!" Jungkook's voice was scratchy and barely audible. He could barely even hear himself talk. Every time his vocal chords were being used it sent sharp pains slithering through his throat. It felt as though he'd swallowed razor blades. "I-I can't. Hyungie I got sick somehow and can barely breathe or talk. I can't sing. I can't perform-"

"Hey, woah. Slow down." Namjoon's voice immediately softened to one of empathy. "You got sick? Have you been taking medicine and resting?"

"Of course, hyungie." Jungkook sniffled as he wiped sweat that was pouring from his forehead. He had to pause between words to take deep breaths. "I have been doing everything I can and it's only gotten worse. I must have gotten a cold somehow. I can't hit my high notes, I can't hold my breath, I can't do this."

"Have you seen a doctor while you're there? Maybe you need something stronger than over-the-counter medicine."

"No, I haven't. I just...don't think I can do it, hyung. I don't have any time to go to the doctor. It's late and my first performance is tomorrow. I don't want to cancel it, hyung, I really don't but I also don't want to go out there and disappoint everyone because I'm sick."

Namjoon could hear Jungkook start to loudly cry on the other end. He felt bad for him, especially knowing how much the youngest of the group tends to be his own worst critic and beat himself up mentally way more than he should.

"Your health comes first, Koo. If you can't perform you can't perform. Real ARMY's will understand. You won't be disappointing anyone. If anything it might make them sad to see you out there overworking yourself if you need rest. Maybe just cancel the performance for tomorrow so you can go to the doctor and get some better medicine, and then go from there and decide if you can finish the rest of the performances?"

"I don't know," Jungkook sighed. "I feel like no matter what I do I am going to disappoint somebody."

"It's really up to you, Jungkook-ah. If you want to perform, just don't overdo it. So you miss a few high notes? That doesn't change who you are."

"Who I am?" Jungkook raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, you know... Jeon motherfucking Jungkook of worldwide sensation BTS? Does that not say enough about you? I promise Koo, no matter what you decide, the world is rooting for you. We all are. I know Jin hyung and Hobi hyung are too even if they're not here to say it."

Jungkook's heart sank a bit thinking of his two hyungs who were off in the military. Unfortunately the two of them were a bit too busy to be able to reach out at the moment but he knew not to take that personally. He missed them a hell of a lot, though.

"What do you think I should do?" Jungkook asked.

"Whatever is best for you. I don't want to sound like a tough guy, but this is your solo debut. As hard as it is, you have to get used to making your own decisions now. At least in the meantime until we regroup."

Jungkook's voice became quite somber, laced with the nostalgia of being a part of seven. Seven. My album. Seven.

"Namjoonie hyung, I don't think I'm meant to do this on my own." Jungkook curled his fingers up into his shirt sleeve and used the fabric to wipe the tears and snot from his face. He didn't know if this was part of the cold expelling itself from his body or the pure sadness.

"You can do anything you set your mind to. The album itself is already a global hit. You can do anything. Sick or not."

Jungkook's shoulders dropped. "I miss you guys."

"I know. We miss you too. When you get back, the five of us can get together and hang out immediately. I promise. Anyways, I have to get some work done. I trust you'll make the decision that's best for yourself, and know that I am proud of you no matter what that decision is. We all are."

"Thanks, hyung. I'll talk to you later."

It took some more pondering but Jungkook decided he was going to do all of the performances regardless of being sick. I will perform tomorrow and see the doctor right afterwards! He had gone back and forth on whether to cancel or not and his heart simply couldn't do it. He'd rather die on that stage than not show up at all.

During his first performance the next day, he did his best to hide his misery. He still couldn't breathe and the lights mixed with the cheers of the crowd had his head pounding something fierce. He kept reminding himself that if he could get through this first performance, the rest wouldn't be so hard. He shook away his nerves before heading on stage and giving it his all. There were moments he had to stop and take deep breaths, missing some words and missing some high notes. He kept the regret of that hidden within his own head. He didn't want everyone to see how insanely disappointed in himself he was.

Although by the time he was done performing the crowd was screaming and clapping louder than he'd ever imagined, the deep rooted thought that they still weren't satisfied with his performance ate away at him.

He said hello to a few fans before being rushed into a car that was headed for the doctors office, where he was actually diagnosed with bronchitis and given some extreme strength antibiotics. He was also given breathing treatments to help break up the mucus that decided to cling to the walls of his lungs. He did feel much better after the breathing treatment as he was finally able to take deep breaths of fresh air. He was sent back to his hotel with his own little machine that he could use when he started to have trouble breathing.

He got a call from Taehyung later that day saying he watched the performance and thought it was great, even for being sick.

"Thanks, hyung. I could have done better though."

"You always say that." Taehyung couldn't help but laugh. Typical Jungkookie. He expressed his concern about the sickness, but Jungkook reassured him that he'd gone to the doctor and was able to get medicine. They talked for a little while before the maknae then had to get ready for some interviews later that night.

After taking the new medicine, he did find himself starting to feel slightly better as time went on. He continued with his breathing treatments every day, mainly before just going out on stage, and he felt like he was doing a better job every single time. What also had lifted his spirits was that he became aware that his fans could tell he was battling sickness during his performances and they said they enjoyed the show regardless of how he sounded, but also urged the singer to put his health first and not overdo it. He was extremely grateful to his fans for their understanding. It helped him push away a lot of his self doubt and internal disappointment.

By the end of his trip to New York City, he'd performed a number of times and gave several interviews promoting his album. He watched some back and was a bit displeased at how congested he sounded but he knew there was nothing he could do to change that.

At the very least, he was starting to feel better. He was frustrated that the sickness couldn't have hit at literally any other time when he wasn't performing, but he accepted his fate. At this point he was ready to head home and see some of his hyungs again.

Although it didn't completely go as planned, he was happy that he managed to survive this solo journey all by himself. I only had to call Namjoon hyung once!

He knew it was the start of something really, really great. The self-deprecating thoughts that he let take over when he'd first fallen ill were now replaced with the thoughts of confidence and pride for doing what he'd set out to do.

Promote Seven, and hang out with ARMY.

Maybe I can do this on my own. But only for now, not forever! I still want to be BTS!  Since that's who I am.

Jungkook remembered what Namjoon had said on the phone as he stared out the jet window on his way back to South Korea.

Jeon motherfucking Jungkook of BTS.

After the long flight home, Jungkook felt like he could sleep for a week straight. That was exactly what he planned to do now that he officially had time off before his military service.

However, when he opened the door to his apartment, there would be no sleeping, at least not anytime soon.

There stood his hyungs holding a giant cake that had "Seven" written in purple frosting.

"Surprise!" Namjoon was the first to scream as he made his way over to hug Jungkook, getting into a playful scuffle with Jimin over who got to hug him first. He felt the warmth of his maknae's body and could tell he was still battling a fever. "I promise we won't stay too long. We just wanted to surprise you and tell you how proud we are, in person."

"You did great, bun." Yoongi walked over and patted Jungkook on the back. "I mean I would have done better, but hey."

Jungkook gave him a playful shove as they all went and sat around on the couch. Jungkook was too tired to stand. They chatted for a few minutes as Jungkook explained how insanely sick he'd been that entire trip.

"I think I have one more thing that might make you feel just a little bit better."

As if on que, someone had started to knock on Jungkook's door.

"Did you order takeout?" Jungkook asked.

Without replying, Namjoon opened it and the first thing that could be heard were two voices.

Jin's and Hobi's.

Jungkook jumped to his feet and ran to the door, immediately jumping into their arms to embrace them both in a hug.

"Hyungs?!" Jungkook screamed, "How'd you get here?!"

"We saved our vacation time for when you got back!" Hobi explained.

Before long, all seven of them were now gathered around the couch. They shared laughs, jokes, cake, some drinks, and even shed some tears over how much they missed each other. Yoongi mentioned how excited he was when he was watching Jungkook doing his live performances and saw that Jungkook had decided to surprise everyone by not only singing songs from his solo album, but also "Butter."

Jungkook explained how although none of his hyungs could be there with him physically, performing that song comforted him a lot because it had made him feel like they were with him in spirit which really helped him feel better and renewed his energy.

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

All of them stood up and started dancing and singing to "Butter" around Jungkook's living room.

In the middle of the chaos Jungkook couldn't help but notice something.

He was suddenly feeling much, much better. Almost as if he'd never been sick at all.

[The End]
[🛑New Requests Closed🛑]