more fanfic writer Florida because I can

note: some things are mentioned (like song fics) that he doesn't want to write, these aren't to say these are bad to write, I just don't think he would write them

Getting into a fandom: Y'ever seen a ghost?
Over using words: I was over on the bench
Over using words: I was over on the bench
Over using words: I was over on the bench
Over using words: I was sittin over on the bench
Over using words: I WAS OVER ON THE BENCH
Killing a character: I made a salad with craisins!
Wholesome family headcanons: Hello, I'm Chip Mulaney, I'm your father
his one ship: but sometimes he would be gay
pets: Ever been to the goddamn zoo?
recovery fics: I used to smoke crack
trying to remember his schedule: What's yesterday?
Hurt/No comfort: Shut up, you're all gonna die! Street smarts!
updating that one fic he forgot about: [pop]
accidental whump: Boom! Orange juice! That's life
song fics even though he said he wouldn't: Now I've thrown him off his rhythm
college au: Give us some money!
hating characters on main: Stay down on the ground! Stay down on the ground, you mother fucker!
projecting: Do my friends hate me or do I just need sleep?
kid fics: But why don't we just tell our relatives that I'm a four year old boy
criminal au : Hey, do you want me to kill that guy for you?
sick fic: I am now gross
having a notp: And what's this?
calling it his otp: PEPPA
slow burn: I'm putting wires into a board filled with holes to move the voices around