"So, 'My parent's friend's son,' Really?" Blair laughs, amused by the words I used to introduce Ryder.

"What?"

"Why did you introduce him like that?"

"He and I aren't friends, so I can't say this is my friend." I jokingly roll my eyes.

"So is that how you know him? Because he's your parent's friend's son?"

"No, he goes to my school."

Her mouth opens wide. "How old is he? He doesn't look like a high schooler."

"He's 19. He started school late." I explain.

"Hm." she sips her water. "Well, he's cute as shit," she says.

"Blair!" I gasp.

"I'm gay, not blind." We both burst into laughter.

"Enough about him, tell me about you, how are you? What's been going on? When I had asked you what you were doing here, I didn't mean here in New York." she clarifies, "I meant, what are you doing alive? The last time we were together, you made it pretty clear that I would never see you again because you were going to kill yourself. So what changed?"

I push my hair behind my ears. "A lot actually, at first that was the plan, but I went home to find all the knives and bleach and medication hidden. So, I decided to wait for my opportunity."

"So, did that opportunity not happen?" She raises her eyebrow, intrigued as to why I am alive.

I spend the next few minutes explaining to her why I didn't kill myself when I first got back home. Not just because my parents hide every harmful thing in the house but because I didn't want to be selfish and leave them knowing their relationship wasn't strong. I told her that I started back cutting instead, but then I add how I haven't cut in a week or two.

She asks me if my parent's relationship was strong now, and I tell her yes. She then asks what kept me from killing myself. I mention my brief fling with Caleb, playing a part in me not doing it.

I also mention how I ended that because I wanted to live for myself and not someone else. We then go on to talk about school and everything that's happening there.

I tell how I made friends. She then tells me that I can't have any friends because she wants to be my only friend.

Now we are talking about the fight between Ashely and me. She's very entertained by it.

"Tell me you beat that bitch up?"

"Blair." I jokingly scorn her. This shouldn't amuse her.

"What? I'm just saying, after all, she's done to you. She deserved what she got. And you stood up for yourself and for that girl." she says. "If Ryder is a part of the 'elite' people, how come he was talking to you? How come he's hanging out with you? Wouldn't he get kicked out or banished?" she laughs at how stupid all of this is sounds.

"They don't know; I'm a hundred percent sure Ashely doesn't know he's here. Or at least here with me."

"Or maybe she does, maybe he told her, I mean you did say he wants to change?"

"No, he doesn't. He's just saying that because... because... I don't know why he's saying it, but he's not serious, trust me. When we get back to school Monday, he will go back to being the same ignorant person he is. He'll never change." He won't. I know he won't; that's why I'm not even trying to think of the possibility of him changing.

"Maybe, maybe not. Maybe you should at least give him a chance."

"I'm good." I quickly say.

She shrugs her shoulders. "Okay, fuck him. Now you said you started medication?"

"Yup."

"This can't be the same girl that sat in, group swearing up and down that she would never take medication... ever again."

"Yeah, I know." I think back to all the times during group; whenever I was asked my opinion on medication, I always said something negative. Everyone there knew that I was strongly against it. I still am, but I think I owe it to myself to try again. "I'm on Celexa," I tell her.

"I've heard of it. I know some people on it. You haven't experienced any side effects from it?"

"No." I lie.

She narrows her eyes at me. She always knows when I am lying.

"Okay, just dizziness and nausea here and there, nothing too severe," I explain.

"Have you told your parents, your therapist?" She asks, concerned.

"No, they don't need to know. It's nothing serious."

"Jayda. Those little side effects can turn into big ones. That's why they have to monitor you."

"I know, but I'm okay right now, really. If I start experiencing more side effects, I'll tell them."

She looks at me, hesitating to get on board. "Okay." she gives in.

"Okay, now enough about me. How have you been? No impulsive self-harming? No starving yourself?" I ask her.

I still can't believe she starved herself to fit into a freaking designer dress for some show. I think the whole runway modeling people or whatever are the only ones who still think it's a good thing to be a size 0.

"No, things have been good for me, actually," she says. "Emily has been making sure I'm eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner, with snacks in between. And I haven't been cutting. I haven't cut since I've left the facility. All thanks to Emily; she's shown me other ways to get off. If you know what, I mean." She gives smiles.

"Gross." I throw the pillow at her.

"You say gross, but one day, you'll understand."

"Doubt it." I laugh.

"Oh, come on. I saw the look in your eyes when you were talking about Caleb. I would bet my whole career on you losing your virginity to him."

"Blair." I squeal.

"What? I mean, you're getting back with him, like for real this time. He's going to be your first boyfriend, which means he's going to be your first everything. He was already your first kiss."

"I want to get back with him; I don't know if he wants to get back with me. And even if we do get together. I'm sure he doesn't want to have sex with me."

Her mouth dramatically drops open. "Well, now that we've fixed the whole wanting to die thing, we have got to work on this self-esteem. Girl, you're hot. I would definitely fuck you."

"Blair!" I shout. I'm always calling her name; she says the craziest things.

"I would," she says seriously. "I'm sure everyone wants to, even Ryder."

I laugh out loud. "I don't think so."

"You never know. But for real, you're gorgeous. It's time you start telling yourself that."

My phone starts to ring. It's sitting right between us. Blair snatches the phone before I can get it. "Why the fuck is Travis calling you?" she yells.

"I...I" I can't answer her. I know why he's probably calling me, but I don't want to tell her.

"Are you selling for him again!?" She asks. I stay quiet. I can feel the shame on my face. "You are, aren't you?"

"Yes." I manage to say.

"Why?"

I sigh. "You know that thing I told you I did? Just before I got admitted to the facility."

"Yeah."

"He has evidence that I did it, and he's threatening to take it to the police and show it to my dad. He won't do it as long as I sell for him."

Her face starts to turn red. "Just tell your dad!"

"I can't," My eyes start to water. "He'll hate me."

"He won't. Jayda, it's your father, your family. He won't stay mad at you forever, kids do stupid things, and parents forgive them,"

"But this wasn't a stupid thing; it was a horrible thing, a criminal thing."

"How long?" she asks.

"What?"

"How long do you have to sell for him?"

"I don't know."

"Well, you can't sell for him. I won't let you here.'' She hands me my phone. "Call him, ask him if he will accept money."

"I don't have money to give him," I tell her.

"You don't, but I do; whatever he wants, I'll give him." She says seriously.

"I can't let you do that." I want to take her money and give it to him badly; I don't want to do anything for Travis. But I can't let her do this; I won't take her money.

"Why the hell not?"

"Because I don't want you getting involved."

"And I don't want you involved with him!" she shouts. After everything you told me about him, he's a criminal, and he is dangerous. I don't want you around him." she gets up off the couch. I get up too.

"Well, this is the way it's going to have to be, just for a while. I'll be fine; I'm not going to his loft or anything. He's gonna meet me and give me the stuff."

She shakes her head. "No, I don't like it, what if--"

"Blair, I got it. I'll be fine, I promise. I can't let my dad see that tape. I can't."

She sighs. "I don't like it, I'll never like it, but if you say, you got it then. I trust you."

"Thank you."

We sit back on the couch and continue talking about everything. Two minutes soon becomes two hours; Blair is now getting ready to leave; I'm walking her to the door.

"You're gonna come with me to my interview tomorrow, right?"

"Of course. I'll meet you downstairs tomorrow at 1:30," She gives me a long tight hug. "I'll see you tomorrow."

...

"So, it must have been nice to see a familiar face." My mother says.

"Yeah, it was. I have her number. She said she's going to come to Pennsylvania for my graduation." If everything goes as planned. I need to take it one day at a time. I don't really like planning ahead for things. Because I never know what could happen from one day to the next.

"Oh, well, that's amazing. Of course, she can stay with us."

"Who can stay with us?" My father asks when he walks into the room.

"Jayda saw one of her friends from the facility."

"Ohh. Who?" He questions.

"Blair."

"The Russian model?"

"Yes."

"Hm."

The room goes quiet. "So, did you find a condo?" I ask him. He looks at my mother then to me. "yes, she told me."

He clears his throat. "I saw something I think we would like," he says. "Maybe we can go check it out before we leave tomorrow. Around two, maybe."

"Sounds good." My mother says.

"I can't." Both of them look at me.

"Why can't you?" My father asks me. Oh no, oh no. What do I tell them?

"Umm, well. Ryder uh, he invited me out to lunch." I lie. They both continue to stare at me.

"No, you are not going on a date with him. Not going to happen." My dad says.

"What?! I have to."

"I'm sorry, but I'm not letting my 17-year-old daughter go out with a 19-year-old boy." my father says sternly.

"You're acting like we're going to a private place. We're going to a restaurant full of people," I explain my fake plans.

"No, no and no." he continues to say.

"Doesn't he have a girlfriend?" My mother asks. Evelyn must have told her. "Ashely Forbes?"

"Ashely Forbes? The girl you got into a fight with. Is that why you were fighting? Over some boy?" I hate it when my dad jumps to conclusions.

My subconscious laughs. Why would I ever fight someone over a boy? Especially a boy like Ryder Adams.

"No. What god, no. Look, it's not a date. I lost a bet, and now I have to take him to lunch. So he is not taking me. Actually, I'm taking him. It's just going to be an innocent lunch."

They both look at me, not as angry as before. "Alright, well. I think it'll be fine." my mother says.

"What?" My father's eyes go wide.

"Marcus, it's fine," she says.

...

Now, what am I going to do? I made fake plans. Maybe I can just leave, and they'll think I left with him. No, that won't work. What if they run into him, and he's not with me? They will know I lied. Ugh, what am I going to do?

"Mom, can you come zippen my dress?" I yell. A few seconds later, she walks in. She stops at the door.

"You look hot." She says.

"Mom." I groan.

"What? You do. I'm sure your father won't approve, but who cares. You look stunning."

I look at myself in the mirror. The V cut is so low; I'm scared my boobs are going to fall out.

I will say the red looks good on me. I like how the dress flares out at the bottom. It looks pretty. But I don't feel pretty in it. I'm so uncomfortable. Her warm hands touch my back as she zips the dress. I'm glad it's a long sleeve dress, it wouldn't look right with a sweater.

"Now me?" she says. I turn around and try to zip it. It won't move. I tug at it again, and it still won't budge

"Ummm, maybe it's broken."

"Try it again," she says.

I sigh and try to zip it, but it still won't move. "Can you ask dad to do it? I can't get it."

"No!" she says a little loud. She clears her throat. "I need you to do it."

"Alright." I tug at it, and it zips right up.

"See." My mother turns around, smiling. "I probably had too much seafood early."

She smiles. I can't help but think that's not the reason.

"Now come on, you need some accessories." She takes my hand and pulls me out of the room.

(Blair is definitely one of my favorite characters! I was so happy to bring her back.)