I'm sitting inside Ryder's car. My books are on my lap. I never thought I would be here again. I pluck the black polish on my nails. I'm so nervous, why would I agree to this?

If my dad finds out, he'll kill me for sure. My mom will kill me because I skipped school, my dad will kill me because I'm with the boy he told me to stay away from several times.

It feels like we're driving into an abyss. At least I feel like that, he knows where we are going, but I don't.

"So have you skipped before?" I ask. I asked that question before thinking about it. Of course, he's skipped before. Why would I ask him that? Stupid. He doesn't answer; he just looks at me then back to the road. "I'll take that as a yes," I say sarcastically and roll my eyes. I stare out the window. My phone vibrates.

*I had fun last night -Caleb

My eyes look over to Ryder. I'm glad he didn't see the name on my screen. I look back at the phone. I feel bad. Should I? I mean, its not like Calebs, my boyfriend, or anything, and Ryder surely isn't mine, so I haven't done anything wrong.

*Me too

I turn my phone off and lookup, the car isn't moving anymore. We are in the parking lot of our town's community park. "A park?" I question. He again doesn't say anything; he gets out of the car swiftly. I open the car door also and follow behind him into the park. This is the last place I expected to go. "You know if you're not going to talk to me, you can take me back."

"You haven't said anything that warrants a response," The tall figure says without turning around. I follow behind him, with my arms crossed. We walk on the designated pathway that circles the park.

"Why did we come here?" I ask.

"I like it," he says. I laugh. He stops walking. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing, I just...I never pictured you as a park person." I look him up and down.

"Well, just like I don't know things about you, there's a lot that you don't know about me," he says, aggrieved.

...

We are walking now at the same pace, side by side. We have passed four people. I've been paying attention, none of them know who I am, I didn't know who they were, that's good. Some of my parent's country club friends do yoga here. I don't remember what days, though.

"Have you been here before?" Ryder asks me.

"Yeah, I used to... well, my mom and dad used to bring me here all the time, well, whenever they were home, we would come out here and have a picnic, right over there." I point at the biggest tree in the middle of the park. Memories flash through my head at the times we spent under that tree.

Every time they came home, when we were all together, we always came out here and had a picnic under that tree. They stopped taking me here even before they started spending more time away from home. I don't know why we stopped; maybe they thought I wouldn't want to come out here anymore because I was getting older.

Like always, they didn't ask what I wanted. I would love to come out here and spend time with them. The more memories they have of me, the better. "So, why do you like coming out here?" I ask him.

He looks at me and says, "It's pretty,"

"It is," I agree.

...

"Why did you come after me?" I rest my back against the tree and slide onto the ground. He sits next to me, not close, though.

"I don't know. I just wanted to make sure you were ok," He bites his bottom lip.

"What about your friends? Won't they be looking for you?"

"Ill see them at practice later," he says.

I pluck the grass from the ground. "And, Ashely?" I don't look up at him; my breathing stops as I wait for an answer.

"I guess I'll see her later, too," he says.

"Won't she be mad that you left?" I can only imagine her asking people where he is and if they have seen him.

"I don't give a fuck if she's mad." He growls. "I could care less about how she feels," he adds with a glazed expression.

I laugh and say, "I see why you guys love each other. You act just alike." I continue plucking the grass beneath me.

"First of all, I don't act like her," he states, "And I sure as hell don't love her,"

"But she's your girlfriend; how can you not love her?" I thought people were supposed to love their partners.

"Do you love Caleb?"

My breathing hitches. "How could I love Caleb? I just met him." I explain. "And that's different. He isn't my boyfriend."

"But you went out with him."

"I never said I went out with him." I narrow my eyes. How could he know? Maybe he was there yesterday.

"You didn't, but he did... he told me."

I give off a blank expression. "He...He told you." I stutter the words out. He nods his head. "You're lying," I say, denying his information.

"I'm not. He said you kissed him."

"He kissed me," I yell out, correcting him.

Ryder scratches his tattooed arm and traces the symbol on it with his finger. "That's not what he said." He's making this up; it isn't true. Is it? I mean, this wouldn't be the first time Ryder has lied. I don't believe him; I don't want to talk about it anymore. I'll call Caleb later and ask him myself. "You put yourself in these situations, you know." He says. I look at him. "I mean, you went out with someone you just met, and everyone knows you went out with him. What are people supposed to think?"

"If people know I went out with him, it's because you told them." I fire back. "Just like you told everyone, I went home with him when you knew he was taking me home!"

He rolls his eyes at my comment. "Well, when you got confronted about it, you should have defended yourself. If you don't defend yourself, don't expect people not to think it's true."

"I don't need to defend myself. I don't need to prove to anyone anything about me. I don't care. People can think whatever." I mutter.

"Well, don't run crying when they confront you about it," he says firmly.

I quickly stand up from the ground. "I'm ready to go." I should never have left with him.

"You're not seriously mad, are you? I'm just trying to help you." he stands up also.

"I don't need your help." I snap. "Just take me back." I turn away from him about to walk off the field. He grabs my arm tightly.

"Jayda!"

"Let me go."

"Don't walk away from me." He growls.

"Well, I am; this was a mistake." I try to pull away from him, but his grip tightens.

"Jayda." A soft voice calls. I turn my head and see Sharron, Ashelys mom; Ryder releases my arm. There's a dark-skinned woman beside her in red yoga pants and a white t-shirt. Her hair is braided into two cornrows. I've never seen her before.

"Hello," I say as she gets closer to me. She has on a pink sweat suit, and her blonde hair is pulled into a ponytail. She looks at Ryder.

"Well, hello, Ryder." She greets him; he doesn't say anything back. He just nods. Her eyes look to me, then to him, then back to me.

"Paula, this is Melissa and Marcus' daughter."

The woman reaches her hand out, and I extend my hand to shake hers. "Nice to meet you." She says. "You look just like your mother."

"And this is my daughter's boyfriend. Ryder Adams, Josiah Adams's son." Sharron mentions.

"Really?" she says, clearly shocked. Oh, nice to meet you also," She doesn't try to shake his hand; she looks a little scared. Who can blame her? His presence is intimidating.

"So what are you all doing out here?" Sharron asks.

"I... we..." I can't get the words out. I don't know what to say. I know she'll for sure tell my mother. I am more worried, though, at what she will tell her daughter.

"We have a half-day schedule. I just ran into her, and we were just discussing a project." Ryder says easily, of course, he's a good liar. I'm kind of offended that he lied. Does he not want her to know that he's here with me? Well, of course not; I mean, we are skipping. Or maybe he just doesn't want her to tell her daughter.

"Well, I'll let you guys get back to it. Have a good day," she says. She and Paula turn around and walk off. I see them whisper words to each other as they walk off the grass field. I can't hear what they are saying.

"Take me back," I say as soon as they are far away enough.

"Fuck fine." He storms off in front of me, and I follow behind him.

...

We are in the car now driving back to the school. It's 3:10, only five minutes till school is over.

"Why do you cut yourself?" He blurts out, breaking the silence.

"Different reasons" I don't feel like getting into detail with him on all the reasons why I cut.

"So you tried to kill yourself? That's why you left?" he asks.

I shrug my shoulders. "Why haven't you told anyone?" I ask the question that I've been asking myself for days.

"I don't want to be responsible for your death." He says the words harshly.

"If I died today or tomorrow, you would play a big part in my death." Not a big part, but a partial part.

"How I haven't done anything?" he looks over at me and then back at the road.

"If you didn't do anything, why did you apologize?" I knew he didn't mean it. I'm an idiot for believing he did.

"Because... I just said that because I didn't want you to kill yourself because of me."

"Woah Woah, let's get one thing straight, I'm not killing myself because of you" He hasn't hurt me so much that I want to die because of him, but he plays a part just like everyone else does. "And I didn't need your apology. I told you I didnt want it. Trust me; your apology didn't keep me from killing myself."

"Well, good because I didn't mean it anyway."

"You're an ass. You know that?" I scoff.

"I told you before I didn't care; I still don't care."

"Oh yeah, I forgot you don't care about anyone but yourself." He stops the car down the street from the school. "What are you doing?"

"I can't take you up there."

"Why not?"

"Because people will see us," he says almost robotically.

"Are you serious? Ryd--"

He yells, cutting me off. He hits the steering wheel with his hand; then looks at me; his eyes aren't green anymore; they're dark, almost entirely black. "I can't be seen with you."

"Why because you're afraid of what people will say?" He doesn't answer me. "Why don't you just defend yourself, defend your actions?" I use his words against him. " I mean your Ryder Adams, no one would dare say anything to you, right? No one would dare question you?" I say the words louder. "You're a hypocrite; you know that? You criticize me because I don't defend myself. But yet look at you. You're scared to be seen at school with me. Why don't you just defend yourself? Why don't you justify your actions, huh?" He still doesn't answer me. He just looks straight ahead, gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles turn white "The whole school may fall for this bad boy; I do what I want, I'm heartless, act. But that's all it is, an act! I see you for who you truly are."

"Yeah, and what the fuck is that, huh? You don't know shit about me. You don't know me!"

"You're me. You're a coward, just like me."

(It took me two days to write this lol. Make sure you vote!)