Why does the weekend go by so fast? I'm happy it did. My weekend was terrible, of course. But now, I have to face a long dreadful week.

I want to stay home today. My mind can't stop replaying yesterday night in my head. Ryder knows. He knows about the cuts; he knows about where I really was. And since he knows, that means the whole school knows. I deleted Twitter and Instagram. I can't bear to see what people are saying online about me. I know they're having a field day with this one.

I look at myself in my bathroom mirror. My eyes are red from all the crying after crying for about twenty minutes straight last night. I put the pizza into the refrigerator, cleaned up the living room, and went upstairs to my room. I cried myself to sleep. Then I woke up when I heard my mom come in, I knew it was her because she opened the door and called my name, but I didn't respond. I pretended I was asleep. I didn't want her to see me crying. I didn't want any questions. I heard her go into her room and then about, and an hour later, my dad returned home. He walked past my door and into their bedroom.

Maybe I should tell them about what happened; then, they would let me stay home. I know they would be mad, especially my father. He did tell me to say away from Ryder. I didn't listen, and now he knows the truth about me.

I grab my black scrunchy off of my sink and pull my hair into a messy bun. I look down at my outfit. I'm wearing my ripped black jeans and a black sweatshirt; this will have to do for today. I walk out of my bathroom, grab one of my rubber bands, and slide it onto my wrist. I reach under my bed and grab my shoebox; once I get it, I pull out my pills and take one out. I have two left now. I'm tempted to call Travis and ask him for more. But then I'll be doing exactly what he said I would do. I put the pill into my back pocket and walk out of my room. Downstairs I only see my mom; she's sitting at the dining table. She has on her black pants suit, with a purple shirt under her jacket.

"Hey, hun, you ready?" she asks.

"Uh, you're taking me to school? Where's dad?"

"He's upstairs, still sleeping."

"Really, he's still sleeping?" I raise my eyebrow; even though it's early, my dad is always up earlier, working or waiting for me.

"Yes, he is still sleeping. I guess that call wore him out." She says the words as if she is trying to convince herself. Why? Maybe they are still fighting.

"Anyway, do you not want me to take you to school?"

"No, no, it's fine."

She grabs the car keys off the rack. "Well, let's go then."

...

My mom drops me off across from the school. The school's front is packed as always, but today it feels like everyone's out front. As I walk up to the school, I ball my fist tightly. I can feel the sting in my palm as my nails dig into my skin.

All eyes on me as I get closer. People start to whisper and laugh. They know. I walk a little faster into the school with my head down. It's getting harder to breathe, and my chest hurts. I walk up the stairs tightly, holding onto the rail. If I let go, I will fall back.

I walk fast down the hallway to my locker. I open it up and throw my book bag inside. Laughter falls from the mouths of those around me, whispers also. I'm not looking at anyone, but I know they're looking at me. I grab my books for my morning classes and close the locker. When I turn around, Ashely is standing right in front of me along with Monica and a brunette girl whose name I don't know, but I've seen her before; she's on the cheerleading team.

"Look, I know you and Ryder have a little assignment together, but he's my boyfriend. He'll always be my boyfriend." She says what I already know. "So that whole little kiss you tried to pull on him yesterday... yeah, it didn't work because after he left you, he came straight to me. Telling me how you basically threw yourself at him."

Kiss? What kiss? Did he tell her I tried to kiss him?

"I don't know what you're talking about." I honestly say.

"Well, we all know you're lying," she spits." I mean, why would Ryder lie about something like that?"

Because he's a liar.

"It's not like kissing; you would be a good thing for him. It's really embarrassing and kind of pathetic that you thought you could actually pull that on him. He's not as dumb as the rest of his friends are."

"And what is that supposed to mean, Ash?" Matt says as he and Ryder walk up to us. I try not to look at Ryder. I keep my eyes on Ashley, but I can feel his glare burning into my skin.

"Nothing, I'm just saying that you fucked her, some of the team-fucked her... and you guys are dumb." she bluntly says. "Why would you ever, why would anyone ever want to be with somebody like her? She's pathetic." Ashely and her friends, along with Matt and everyone else around us, laugh. They're laughing at me.

My eyes begin to sting; I push past the crowd and run down the hall into the girl's bathroom. My breathing is shaky. I can't catch my breath; my chest moves up and down as I gasp for air.

I grab both ends of the bathroom sink and just yell. I punch the mirror, and its shatters. The broken glass cuts through my skin. I continue crying. The bathroom door swings open, and in comes Ms. Moore. "Jayda!" she says and rushes over to my side. I drop to the ground and bring my knees to my chest, rocking back and forth, just crying. She leans down and bends over, putting her hand on my back.

The door opens again; its Mr. Brooks. He holds the door open, and there's a crowd of people outside the bathroom; they have their phones out recording me. I stare straight ahead, just rocking on the floor. It feels like the walls are closing in on me, I hear everyone talking, but I tune them out; everything becomes a faint echo.

"What can I do?" Mr. Brooks asks.

"Clear the hallways," she urges him. He nods his head and starts to yell to the kids in the hall, telling them to get to class and put their phones away.

"It's okay, just breathe." She continues to rub my back. I close my eyes and count down from ten, just as I was taught. My breathing starts leveling.

"There you go...do you think you can stand?" she asks.

I nod my head. She helps me up off the floor.

"We're going to go to my office and call your father. Okay?"

I nod my head.

...

I'm sitting in the principal office. She called my dad. He's on his way to pick me up. I can't stay here. I don't know if I'll ever be able to show my face here again. I had a panic attack in front of everyone. This isn't the first time it's happened at school. Sophomore year, the first day of school. I had a panic attack in the middle of the assembly. They had to stop the whole assembly for me. I remember all the staring eyes and laughter that happened while I was having an attack; no one even cared to help me. They just watched and laughed as I gasped for air.

The office door flies open.

"Oh my god, are you okay?" It's Violet, and behind her is James. They both walk over to where I'm sitting and hug me.

"Shouldn't you all be in class.?" Ms. Moore says and raises an eyebrow.

"Yes, but we heard what happened. We just wanted to make sure she was okay?" James says. Ms.Moore looks at me, asking with her eyes if I want them here.

"It's okay,"

"You have 5 minutes. By the time I make these copies, you should be gone." She says and grabs a paper off her desk. She leaves her office, shutting the door behind her.

"This is all Violet's fault, you know?" James says.

"How is it my fault?" She squeals.

"Because if we didn't stop to get you coffee, we would've been here on time. And we would've been with Jayda; I highly doubt Ashely and her minions would've ganged up on her if we were here with her. And if she did, I would've smacked her." James says.

Violet rolls her eyes and looks at me. "It isn't true right?" she asks. James pushes her in a scoring way.

"It's okay," I tell him. "And no, it isn't true. I didn't try to kiss him."

"But he was at your house, right?" she questions.

"Yeah, but nothing happened; we worked on the project, and then he left." I can't tell them about the fight we had. They would ask what we fought about, and I can't tell them about the cuts.

"So he just made the whole thing up! Ugh, I hate these stupid jocks; they think they can say and do whatever the hell they want." James growls.

Violet and I both shake our heads in agreement.

"So, what now?" Violet asks.

"I'm going home. My dad should be here soon. I just need to rest."

"Well, do you want us to come over later?" James asks.

"No, Ill be fine. I'll just see you guys tomorrow."

"Okay. How about we pick you up for school in the morning?" he offers.

"I'll have to ask my dad, but that sounds good." I smile; I highly doubt I will be coming to school tomorrow.

"Alright, well, we will see you later," Violet says. They both say goodbye before walking out of the room.