"So, do you want to go up to the loft?" He asks.

"No," Sternly say. I stay close to the door, just in case. I remember what happened last time I was alone with him. My heart is beating outside of my chest; I want to turn around and run— but my desire to learn the truth outweighs my fear.

He steps closer to me, "Want a drink?" He's so close I can smell the alcohol on his breath, the same as last time.

"No," I say again.

"You sure?" He steps even closer, my body backs into the wall. I can feel the heat from his body radiating off of mines. When I close my eyes, my mind flashes back to the last time this happened; I remember what he tried to do.

I remember his cold dead hands against my waist.

I remember his tainted cigarette tongue trailing down my neck.

I remember how clammy his body felt against mine.

When I open my eyes, I push him back, hard. "No!" I yell. "You know what? This was a bad idea,"

"Cmon now-"

"I don't want to hear anything you have to say. I don't care," I growl. "You leave Ryder alone; he isn't giving you anything, whatever he gave you at first, if he even gave you something, that's all your getting!"

He throws his hands in the air, "Well, I guess you'll have to come back and work for me, even longer, and pay what you owe me."

"No, i'm not doing anything for you."

He laughs, "Well then, I guess I'll tell daddy what really happened to his precious dealership and his luxury cars."

My stomach twists just thinking about my father finding out the truth; he'll find out eventually so, it is what it is. "I don't care." Travis looks taken back by my words; he wasn't expecting me to say that. A part of me always wondered if he was even telling the truth about the video he has. Now that I have seen his reaction to me say that I don't care if he sends the tape to my father, I'm calling him a bluff. This I can use. "You were never going to send the tape."

"I was," he says, clearly lying,

"No, you weren't; you and I both were in that office when I set it on fire; turning the tape in is basically like you turning yourself into. You wouldn't do that." A cricket smile comes upon my face; it feels good being on the other side, being the one with the power. I see why people enjoy it, why they live for it. It's refreshing.

"I would 've--"

"What?" I question, cutting him off. "Go on the run for the rest of your life?" He doesn't say anything. He just stares. "Leave me alone, leave Katie alone, and leave Ryder alone," I state.

"You expect me to just leave the mother of my child!"

I roll my eyes, "Like you actually care, you can't take care of a baby, you can't be a father!" I couldn't even imagine Travis being a father; that child can't grow up here with him. His face twists in anger, but he doesn't rebuttal what I just said. "We don't owe you anything; Katie doesn't owe you anything, Ryder doesn't owe you anything," Travis rolls his eyes. "If you ever contact us, I will tell my dad and the police what happened," I walk up closer to him; he looks defeated. I'm not as afraid of him like I used to be, well at least right now I'm not; that's because I have him where I want him, his tail between his legs.

"You won't?" he says, calling me bluff.

"I will; I'm his daughter. I won't go to jail, but I can guarantee you will." I pause. I rather go to jail than to see the heart on my father's face when I tell him. "And even if you don't go to jail for that, I have the girl who will testify that you raped and impregnated when she was under eighteen. You'll surely go away for that," I say, sounding like my mother. She would be proud right now.

"It was consensual,"

"Maybe, but she was still underage."

He rubs his hands across his head, "Well, look who has the balls now," he snarls.

"Do we have a deal?" I ask, trying to secure everything I just said.

He walks up to me; I don't step back; I keep my feet glued to the ground. If I step back, I will show that I'm still intimidated by him and that everything I just said was an act.

He looks me up and down and then opens his mouth to say, "Sure,"

...

It's Tuesday morning, I wake up and stretch before getting out of bed. I walk into my bathroom and turn towards the mirror. "Today is going to be a good day," I say out loud.

It's weird to say something positive; two months ago, I looked into this mirror and said horrible things.

I don't believe the things I said any more, well, at least some of them. I used to look in this mirror, and tell myself to cut, tell myself that I was a horrible person, and I deserved to die. I still do think I deserve to die, but instead of taking my own life, I will allow the universe to choose my fate.

I stared at the reflection of myself and told myself I was ugly. I still do think im ugly; no matter how many times someone says i'm beautiful, I will always know I'm ugly. Every time I look in the mirror and see my horrid reflection, I will always know.

There's a knock on my door. I wipe the tears from my eyes and walk out of the bathroom, opening up my room door, "Dad,"

"Hey," he says. "So sorry about last night I had a long meeting," he explains, why he was absent yesterday night. "Trying to get everything straight for New York," he adds.

"Okay," I turn around and walk over to my dresser; I grab my black hoodie and my black jeans. I really should expand my wardrobe colors; everything here is mostly black.

I started wearing all black because it fit the whole loner, dark vibe I had going on.

But now, I'm sure I just wear it because it's my favorite color. My mother hates black she says it's not even a color.

"So big game Friday!" he cheers,

"Mhm,"

"You gonna go?"

I close my drawer and then turn. "Uh, that's the plan" As of yesterday.

"I would hate to be you," he shakes his head,

"What? Why?" I ask, confused.

"Your boyfriend is on the opposing team!" He says this in an obvious way. "Who will you be there to support?"

I shrug my shoulders, "I don't know," I roll my eyes. "I'm there for Caleb, not for my school," I would never support a school that does nothing about the horrible things that happen there. I'm not the only victim of bullying at my school.

Most of the things that go down there happen in the cafeteria where teachers are, yet they do nothing. People on the football team repeatedly get in altercations with others, and yet they face no consequence. All so they can play in the games.

Why would I ever support a school like that?

"Well, that's good," he smiles and then walks out of the room. He turns around and comes back, "Oh, and Friday, I'm having people from the club over; we are going to watch the game on TV." he has a massive smile on his face.

"Okay,"

He walks out of the room.

I sigh. "Championship week, you gotta love it, right?"

...

Ryder POV

"Ryder!" Coach yells my name from across the field, "Get your ass over here now!"

I unloose my helmet and jog all the way across the fucking field. "What?" I snap at him.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" He shouts directly in my face. I suppress the smile that wants to show on my face as his eyebrows rise, and his eyes widen, a trait that happens every time he yells. "You haven't thrown shit straight since we been out here practicing,"

"I guess someone will be benched for the championships!" Matt says from behind me; he walks from behind and into my sight.

Before I can say something, coach chimes back in, "He's right, you keep pulling shit; I'll have your ass benched for the whole game!" he points at the metal seats. "Now, take ten, get a drink or whatever. Do what you need to do to get you head straight," he hits me hard on my shoulder and then walks past me and starts yelling at everyone else on the field.

Matt starts laughing and claps. "I don't think I could have said that any better,"

"Shut the hell up,"

"She's ruining everything," he says, referring to Jayda.

"Shut the hell up!" I repeat, I don't want her name coming out of his mouth. He steps closer to me, which is a bad idea because my fists are bawled tightly; I'm ready to hit him; I swear I will. I would do anything right now to wipe that fucking smile off his face.

"If we lose this game, it'll be your fault," he presses his lips together, "Which ultimately means it'll fall on Jayda,"

I bawl my fist even tight, causing a sting in the middle of my hands. I'm mad because he's right; if I lose, everyone will blame it on her. Why? I have no fucking idea, but they will.

"Everything we built here," he throws his hands in the air. "Will go down just because you want to be good,"

"And what's wrong with being good?" I narrow my eyes,

"Good is just another word for weak," he says, mocking my saying. That's what I always used to say.

"So as coach said, do what the hell you have to do to get you head fucking straight." he smiles and then says, "I would say call Ashley, but I forgot you fucked that up like you do everything,"

"Matt!" Coach yells, calling him back onto the field.

He puts his helmet on and then runs into the field.

I didn't fuck anything up with Ashley; he and I both know that she will come running when I call. I walk over to the benches and grab my phone out of my duffle bag; I hesitate before clicking on Ashley's contact. She answers after two rings like I knew she would. "Where are you?" I ask immediately.

"The cafeteria," she says, in a familiar voice; I know that voice she knows what I want. "Meet me in the auditorium," she says softly, "I have the condom,"

I remove the phone from my ear and hang up. I have ten minutes, that's all I need.

I open the school's back door leading into the gym; I jog across the basketball court and over to the double doors. I open them ruffly, and the door hits someone; the girl bends over in pain.

I would just continue on if I didn't know who the girl was.

"You're excused," Jayda snaps when she lifts up.

I don't respond back to her. I just stare; I feel guilty as shit for no fucking reason, god. Why does she do this to me? Every time I see her, I just feel fucking horrible.

"I was looking for you," she says. "Well, not now, but earlier, why weren't you in class? Why weren't you at lunch?" she asks back to back, an annoying trait she has.

"Football players are excused from all their classes this week."

She laughs and rolls her eyes, "That's dumb," she says bluntly, "Miss a whole week of class only for an hour game and a stupid fake gold trophy," she tilts her head to the side, not understanding.

I laugh at her incorrect knowledge of football. "First of all, the game is three hours, maybe longer, and the trophy isn't stupid,"

"Agree to disagree," she says. "I'm glad I found you;" She changes the subject. "I uhh just wanted to tell you I handled everything with Travis,"

"What?"

"You don't need to give him that money," she explains further. "I handled it; we made a deal,"

"A deal?"

She nods her head, "Wait a second, did you go see him?"

"I ha--"

"Are you fucking crazy?" I shout, cutting her off. "Why would you go see him? Do you know what--"

"I knew the risk," she butts in cutting me off. "I just didn't care; I won't have you be indebted to him. You don't know the type of person he is."

"I do," I think back to what I know about him that he has no knowledge of. I then think about what I know about her that she doesn't even know about herself.

"Whatever, it's done now. We are good. Katie is going to be fine." She doesn't sound too sure about what she just said. "Is she okay?"

"Mhm," She was fine when I left her, sleep I think; I saw her through the door; I didn't go in though, mostly because I didn't want to wake her annoying ass up.

"Have you given money to Travis before?" she asks.

"No," I lie. Does she know? Did he tell her?

"Ryder," she sighs, not believing me like she always does.

"I didn't," I say with a little more force, trying to convince her otherwise.

"He said--"

"How can you believe him?" Her brown eyes search mines, trying to see if I am telling the truth, I'm not, but I try to make my stance as still as possible.

"Okay,"

"Okay," I hate lying to her, but I have to; she can never find out the truth. If I tell her why I gave him ten grand weeks ago, she'll then want to know why I was going to give him ten grand more. The truth would... kill her, just like Katie.

So that's why I am justifying my lying because it's to protect her from herself.

...

Jayda POV

"Im supposed to go to James' house on Friday after school to get ready for the game," I tell Caleb; we've been talking for almost two hours now; it's twelve something.

"I know, he told Logan," he says. "I didn't think you would want to go,"

"Why?" I know why I don't want to go, but how does he know?

He laughs like it's obvious. "Not really your scene."

I laugh too. "That's true."

"I'm glad you're coming,"

"You are?"

"Of course," he pauses, "Now I'll have a beautiful girl to look for while I'm on the field, and when the guys ask me, who am I staring at, I'll tell them, my girlfriend, granted they'll be completely shocked because, I don't date, but I'll still tell them. "

My heart warms at his tender words.

"I love you," he says.

Before I can say it back, my phone rings; I feel a sense of relief. I remove it from my ear to see who it is. Its Ryder. "Caleb, my dad is calling me," I lie; I can't tell him it's Ryder. "I'll call you right back,"

"Okay"

When he hangs up, I answer the other call. "Hello,"

"Is Katie with you?" Ryder asked, rushed.

I laugh into the phone, "Uhh, no. Why?"

"She isn't here, I just got back from practice, and she not here,"

"What do you mean?"

"What do you mean, what do I mean?" he repeats sarcastically. "She's gone, Katie is gone."