New OS.

Days passed mourning and anticipating and loging since the day he had left her sight. And it was more depressed because she could not tell anyone how she was feeling! Her eyes had become a waterfall and soon she was going to dry them off too. But despite of these many grieves she had one thing to hee contentment. Her realisation....she had realised how much she had been loving him! The moment his jeep was blasted her heart had stopped beating. And still it was not in function anymore. Yes, it could be working bit it was not functioning....not at all. Why it had not been happened earlier! Even a day prior to his sudden disappearance from her life could do better. Even a minute could do better....even a second...But now. Now she had nothing but emptiness....a craving.....Something broken but yet completed. How strange love is! She was happy because she at least had fallen in love dozing all the problems and jumping all the restrictions. But irony was his departure. He could have stayed a bit longer. Life could have been bit....just a bit fair to her. She had not lived it for her ever. Ever in her life she had a moment that had complete joy and merries only for her. Nope..not a day...Since the day she had been oblivious to her surrounding she got to know her brother waa a traitor. She could have stayed at home and waited for somebody else to stand up for her. But she took the blade in ber hand and got down in isle to fight for his honour. What she had gotten then? Nothing but stains. She was nothing but a traitor' sister. Why? Why this world was hell bent on pushing her to the edge? Were not they familiar with fates of many innocent souls who were pushed by society into black hole of terror? Perhaps they thought this girl was stronger and they tested her every time. Every fucking time she thought it was over they crossed her path and shut the door. Why? She wanted answers...she wanted relief but nothing came down..............

.......except him.

He was the person who had given her what she needed the most. He had given her that blush which adorned a teenage girl. He had provided her that warmth which was needed by every adolescent. He had given her a support to hold onto. He had given her a right. He hadgiven her everything.....everything....as in e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. Left was only a proper name! At which cost Bhargava had enjoyed a lot. Naina shuddered imagining what he had felt while seeing derogation of his pious love.

Love.....

Her mind stopped thinking of her problems.

His love....She was his love. But when she had given him anything in return. Naina was Rajveer singh shekhawat' love and always will be. No matter what happened raj never steeped down. He never backed from his responsibilities. He had tried to fulfil every duty....every deed....her every need...he had morphed his life into hers. And thats what salve had pointed out. Why had not she got this early?

She could have given him assurance that she was also only his....Never could be some else'. .....and never could be apart from him.....Never..

Naina had cried for days....hoping he would come back. The intelligence he had he would never fall to someone' nasty plan. She had waited long....She had watched for him long....long enough to be graduated....and getting sword of honour...just for his sake. But he did not return. And this was the point when she had lost her hope....

Her hope of getting his love back.

Her hope of feeling him again....

Her hope for his smile returning to her...

Her hope for his shower and rain...

Everything dismantled when she had been three years senior army officer. She had lost her hopes....her string of hope was broken..

And that day she understood what he would have gone through!

But he was watching her alive and she ....she had nothing except ashes. Ashes and flames....of that burning jeep which had cindered her too. She was neither burnt completely nor soft as before. She was hung in between....

Why Raj choose to leave her behind?

Ans came in form of her first posting at KMA.

Naina hated KMA with every alive cell in her body....This place was a curse for her. Her brother first and then her love.....Naina tried and fought for not getting here but could not break barriers. Again raj had stopped her reminding her she was her protège. Naina had cursed herself a lot...that day.

Finally she came here...Her heart wrenched and broken....Her emotions nothing but a crushed dry petal...And she...nothing but a living corpse.

Her duty was again same....rescuing nuclear trigger. Heck! To hell with triggers! If it were not for his legacy, she herself could have sold them off. She never wanted to be here at first place and then that trigger thing! She shouted and banged her head with walls but could never utilise that anger. What was in there for her? Just her duty? Just her nation? Just her professionalism?

Was she there somewhere in Captain Naina singh?

A failed lover of who knows late Captain?

She cried again....Love was the worst thing for her. For it never brought her happiness. Her parents were eager to walk her off aisle. And she was eager to gulp handful sleeping tablets the same day. But.....nothing sort of that was going to happen soon. She was familiar with it.

Finally she had the opportunity to end her struggles. Nuclear triggers were again misplaced. Somebody had tried to steal them and now the triggers placed in academy were just useless now. She was handed over this task...task of finding them. As Raj could have been....she too was familiar with the main culprit. Her fellow officer...who was a leach when it comes to money and women. She fled to his abode and had found triggers. She had to fight so she had. Had it been only ber she would have easily blown everything. But for her fellow officers who wanted to be a true soldier had accompanied her. So things were not easy. She had to save the day. So she did. But at the cost od her life....

The thing she was wishing for many years had finally arrived....

Death.

She smiled watching her standing over her shoulder and tried to leave her body.........but again her cursed life blocked her.

She spotted someone......Those eyes.....those hair....those lips......

Her Rajvee sir was one of those men. For a second Naina thought she was dreaming and this dream was after her death..but when he had rushed to save the main culprit, naina' hopes had given away. Was this another joke? Was she so easy to be played with? Naina laughed....

How easily she was chosen for bearing and bearing things?

How easily life had always deceived her?

How easily she had become the cursed one?

How easily!!!!.....Why it was so easy for fate to be this much cruel for her? Why? What was her mistake? Was being an innocent soul her mistake or her selflessness  was her mistake?

Naina could not fathom. Neither she wanted to.

Her fellow officer and the main culprit behind theft of triggers Major Abhinav Khurana was shot in shoulder. His three helpers were firing on her team. While....Her Rajveer Sir was covering Khurana.

And she had to decide.....NOW.

For her it was now or never....

She decided.

She shot Khurana in his chest. Her team covered her...while she ran to Raj who was staring at lifeless Khurana....

Everyone had anticipated her lethal and just move.....That she would capture him and drag him on his feet to base handcuffing him. Naina didnt do any of these.

She had shot the oil filled barrel kept close and had fled with His rajveer.....

An old cottage.

Her lips had encaged his. Her hands were feeling all of him. She was melting into him. Her eyes closed....breaths shallow...heartbeat faster....and blood rushing to the places who had been deprived of it. While his hands were roaming on her back...a bit hesitant...a bit nervous.  Naina separated her self from him...and looked into his eyes...

Full of questions....Full of something else..

He could be a doppelganger!

But still didnt feel like one. Never.. His touch was same...his breaths were same...afresh as before..his heartbeat was same...still racing with her touch....

When soul was same....body doesn't matter..

She cupped his face and looked into his eyes deeply..telling him she would never leave him....never. He could be dangerous to others but for her he was same. Her Rajveer Sir will be her rajveer sir....no matter what happens...no matter how he becomes....no matter what he does....Nothing matters except his heart and soul.

And both were same...

Same as before.

She kissed him again...this time deeply and aggressively. He too melt....lips moving together...tongues fighting......He then detached hia mouth and kissed her shpulder...then her chest....and then her curves....Her hand meanwhile racked over his back...scratching it and owning it....naming him...owning him....His mouth then descended and her urgency ascended. She tore away every obstacle and had him into her..Moving through heights and falling to crests....Sloppy and curvy.....Rusty and rough....Ride was harsh..She was harsh....

......but life was too.

She could have been an ideal by shoting him too. She could have been famous by arresting him..she could have gained so much by losing him!

But it was not her rasm-e-ulfat.

Her love needed only him.....in any form....In any way....in any where..

She had been loyal to her country always....to her duty always...

And had not she the right to steal remaining moments of life for her own?

Even for sake of her Rasm-e-ulfat?

If love is everything...

Why cant I leave everything...

For it....

For my love....

For being with it....for feeling it...

If love is what makes us human...

Why cant I be inhuman for it....

Why are there barriers...

Why are boundaries....

Beyond these duties....

There are few merries...

Why cant I have them?

Why?

If love is everything....

For love, Why cant I leave everything!