"Hello, Belle. How are you today? Its been a decade since we last talked to each other." Valentin's smile is wide as ever as he looks deeply onto my face through his screen.

I let out a soft chuckle while proceeding to my painting. I'm almost finished with this new one since I will be donating this to the orphanage but I'm also done with my other two who was highly requested by an important client.

It's been a few days since the incident at the hotel and I didn't bother leaving my unit since then. My butt has been stuck in here for days and I am not in the mood to even leave and see how happy it is outside. I'm still not satisfied with what I learned and I'm seeking for more. My crave for the truth just keeps on getting stronger and sooner, I will really spoil this out with Lucas.

I must explain everything and in exchange, the truth of what really happened. With that, I will decided what path of my life I should walk on. Which one should I continue, this life that I started or the life that I always wanted?

So right now, Valentin called me and asking how I've been.

"How is everyone there? I've been calling Mercedes since yesterday and she won't answer me." I replied, placing my brush down and face my tablet.

"I haven't seen Mercedes since last week. Maybe she's with a guy or something?" Valentin answered, well he has a point. Mercedes will always be active especially when it comes to some calls unless she's with a new guy and she will devote all her time with him. "But enough talking with her, I wanna know about you. How was your days there? Your birthday is coming up, any plans?"

I inhaled deeply upon mentioning my day. "I don't have any plans though. Just...maybe hang out with some friends here." I lied, I don't even have friends in this country. "Or maybe just go out with myself. Some time alone is the best time." I murmured, clicking my nails on the wooden desk I have before pursuing my painting again.

Valentin looks at me for a second, I don't know why is there a dead air for a few seconds but he gives me a soft smile. "Are you okay, Belle? You seem to be a little off. Is something bothering you?"

"I'm fine, don't you worry about me." I scoffed and looked away from him. I don't want him to be worried over me.

"Belle, you know I've been beside you all these time whenever you feel low and I know exactly what you look like when you are in that stage again." Valentin used his natural language to communicate with me better but it is not helping.

I shook my head and gave him a weak smile. "I'm cool, Valentin."

"Something is bothering you."

I was unable to reply instead I scoffed again and rolled my eyes playfully. "I said I'm cool, Valentin. Don't press it."

Valentin let out a heavy sigh once again and rubbed his head. "Is us bothering you?"

"What?"

"Are you still happy being in a relationship with me?" he asked, crossing his arms and leaning back to his chair. "I know you are trying your best to make this work and I can see that you are trying so hard so I won't feel bad but I can understand what's behind your eyes. You are trying to be happy for me...for us but it is just hard."

Fighting not to cry, I look straight into his eyes even if it is just the screen of my laptop, I know he can read within my soul. "Call me stupid and horrible. I really am sorry, Valentin. I tried and force myself to fell in love with you, give all the happiness back just like what you give me. I...I just...I can't understand why I can't love you the way I wanted to. I'm so sorry. I want to continue this but...I might just end up hurting you more. But it is too selfish to me to even request for you to never leave me. I don't want you to hate me."

Valentin never looked at me with hate, in fact, his face soften even more. As if he really understands me deeply without him judging me. "Thank you...for being honest with me, Belle. I appreciate it." he exhaled deeply and after that, the least I expect from him is a smile...which he gave me. "I will never hate you, Belle. What can I do? Don't say your sorry because you can never force yourself to love me. Yes your mind wants you to but, the heart wants what it wants."

I cried like a river after what he said. "I really am sorry, Valentin. You are so kind and so fun to be with. I really am sorry."

"Don't be please." Valentin smiles at me soothingly. "If my arms can just pass through this screen and I would have hugged you so tight right now. You know I hate seeing you cry. That's why I will do everything just to make you smile. But I'm happy, because before when you were too depressed and forgot the lightness of the world, I made you happy...um...did I?"

"Of course you did." I wiped my tears and tried my best to smile through the pain. "You are so kind to me and who would have thought that the crazy bartender will make me happy like this?"

"Crazy? Is what you always think of me?" He teased. "I was beyond crazy, my Belle. You know I will strip off and do a little dance just to get your attention."

I laughed as I remember that part. He was so ready to remove his shirt and dance like a stripper.

"That's better, I always good when it comes to making you laugh." Valentin smiles tenderly once again as if I haven't done something wrong. "The next time you come and talk to me, I want to see you happy."

I smiled at him. "I am happy." with a little humor in it.

Valentin rolled his eyes. "Happy, Belle. heureux. Not smile. My goal is not to make you smile...it is to make you happy. Which I never accomplished. Because I never made you happy. I may have made you smile and laugh but the happiness in your eyes...in your soul, I never saw them."

His words caught me off guard making me realise that he noticed such thing. I was never happy?

I tried to be happy but never had it since I lost my child. A part of my heart was taken away from me and it is just so sad that I will never be happy again in my life. I can never have my happiness again.

Lucas will never be mine again.

I kept on telling myself that he will be mine someday but...I don't think fate is hard to control if he destined not to be mine.

Because he is for Silvia.

The painful truth.

"There it is again...the sadness in your eyes that you keep on covering with that fake smiling face." Valentin sigh and shakes his head. "You know what, you should go on a vacation. Find something out there that might inspire you."

"I don't know..."

"And who knows, you will find someone that is destined for you."

I sigh and raised my hands in surrender. "I will try, Val. I will try."

Valentin lets out one last chuckle. "I want to visit you there but I can't so I will just go and check on you here." he said, arranging his shirt and fixing himself. "By the way, I have to go. I need to buy something at the bakery."

"Oh, okay. I will talk to you soon." I smiled while he waves his hand as goodbye before his face disappeared from the screen.

It is tough but I'm really glad that Valentin understands me. It is a huge mistake to break it off with him but I cannot waste another minute hurting him. He will always be my best friend and I don't think a lover will be a fit to call him.

Call me idiot and everything but this is just how I feel.

A huge weight was lifted off my chest. It is a relief that Valentin accepts it without getting angry at me and still stayed for me. He will alwsys be my friend and I am forever grateful that I had him through my darkest times. But the heart wants what it wants. I cannot force myself to do things that will just hurt us in the end.

But a little vacation would really fine by now. I need some alone time and have a little think of everything and how should I really turn my life.

But where off to? I do not know.

Guess I should ask someone or anyone to look for the place where I can find the happiness that I should be looking for.

But I never went on a vacation alone like this. I go to other countries but not on a vacation, it's either an errand or it has something to do with my profession but to enjoy and contemplate? I don't think so.

A FEW DAYS LATER, everything is set and I am ready to go and travel. I didn't choice a place that is out of the country but I chose within the country but on a faraway island.

It is a beach resort in an island and all the things you need in a getaway is perfect.

Leaving my phone aside, I head on to the destination with my head high and no turning backs. I want to break out from all the dramas and problems left for me and I might deal with them with a clear mind once this vacation is finally done.

To get to Pelula Island, I must ride a speedboat to get us there and it is a six hours drive from the city so it is really trilling adventure. Wearing a simple front tie crop top and a high waisted shorts, my beach shorts has always been amazing. I rented a small bungalow house and I will be staying for just a week and then I will go back to the real world and think from there where my heart will lead me.

Arriving at the island, I let myself inhale the scent of that refreshing sand smell. I miss this.

I don't usually go to beaches but I love them. I carried my one luggage bag towards the bungalow house that I rented and good thing I didn't got lost without asking for help.

The neighboring houses aren't that far so we don't have the privacy that we really needed but at least it has a great and goodlooking hottub inside the bathroom so that's alright for me.

I lifted my sunglass up to my hair like a hairband and read the written guide that we received upon arrival. It tells everything that we can do inside the island and I am too extired to try one.

There are zip lines, you can go trekking, sail, surfing, and even go cliff diving. All of them sounds fun so I will try my best to perform all of them if I can. But what should I first today?

I was just thinking of checking the ocean when my stomach starts grumbling.

Alright, that says it all. Eat first, beach later.

The place isn't crowded by people and it is just perfect. Even the restaurant that I entered looks really yummy, they only serve seafood so I ordered a Frutti de Mare, a seafood spaghetti that contains baby clams, squid and shrimp covered with a very thick sauce and a partner of that is a large fresh pineapple shake. They just taste so heavenly in my mouth and I can't wait to eat more of what this island has.

It took my over two hours to get my butt off the table and use the remaining time while the sun sets, to stroll down the beach and play with the sands on my feet.

While doing so, I couldn't help but think of Val's words again. He is the one who told me to get a vacation and it is really a good idea but when he told me that I might find the person destined for me might be here. That is just funny.

I shake my head as I laugh on my own. I sat down and just watch the orange sunset and listen to the crashing waves.

I pray that this vacation will result give me peace my mind and my heart needs. But find my destiny here, that is just bullshit.

My phone is not with me so I can't take pictures of the great scenarios here but I did bring my camera so I still take pictures of the memories. When it starts to get dark, I made my way towards my cottage and have some rest. It is a long way here so I didn't really had a proper rest so I will sleep like a log tonight.

I was searching for the keys on the house when I see someone standing in front of it. Walking closer to get a closer to check who it is....

My mind and my heart just clashed together as I stare dumbfoundedly upon realising who it is.

God blessed me.

Who knows, you will find someone that is destined for you.

Holy crap.

This is just a coincidence right?

The man waiting outside my cottage is the least man I thought will come and visit me here. How did he knew?

"Lucas, what are you doing here?"

To be continued....