Waking up with an awful headache is what I am expecting the next morning. Damn, it's been so long since I got drunk like that and I never let myself be irresponsible like that before even back in Paris. And not just that, I embarrassed myself upon acting like that in front of Lucas. Jesus, can the ground just eat me alive?

I badly want to punch myself right nowh
but I must fix this painful head. Looking around me, I wasn't expecting that Lucas would be here too but I am not expecting the note he left on top of my bedside table.

Don't overdo yourself, kitten. Relax and smile :)

That bastard.

Shit, the things Lucas can do to me. A simple act like that, it is enough to melt my heart and have me as a slave of my love for him again. Its hard to fight this feeling whenever he is acting like this. Sweet and caring. Just like the Lucas I married before. Young but mature. The way he thinks never disappoints me, he is always thinking ahead and plans things what's better for the both of us.

That's why having this marriage a failure is a big question.

Does his words last night meant anything? Are those true? Or they are just part of my dizziness?

Standing up from the bed, I quickly took one Aspirin and just as I was passing through my body mirror, my feet froze when there was something around my neck caught my attention.

My eyes widen upon seeing red marks of kisses all over my neck and collarbone. "Damn, just like before." Lucas loves giving me hickies even when we are not...making love. He will just randomly put one just because he likes it. Well, that's Lucas.

He loves to seize his possession. I should not be surprised if I see Silvia with love bites all over her but still, it brings pain inside me just the thought of it. The things we have done together, and now they are probably doing it as well. Something that I must accept at this point. But my heart is blocking all of the reality.

Looking in front of the mirror, I reviewed myself.

"Not too cool now, huh?" I spat at my reflection before heading inside my bathroom and cleaned myself under the warm tub.

Nothing is more relaxing than a soak in the tub with a smell of a lavender and lemon. The best of all.

After my soak, I simply change into a white sheer crop tank top and partnered it with a black boy shorts. I don't have any plans to go out or meet someone so I am alright with this one. Something comfortable with cup of hot coffee on my hand. This is a perfect time to paint. I don't know what to paint but my hands are just moving on its own as it reflects the current state of my mind.

Foggy and unreadable.

I'm in my cave while staring deeply at my unfinished painting before I stood up and ordered some pizza through the telephone. It is a great day to be lazy but at a weird way, a great day to paint. I don't know but it makes sense to me. I put my hair in a messy bun while continuing my work.

When my door bell rings, I quickly slide towards it to get my favorite pepperoni pizza, all of these are just for me. Time to pig out these stress in my life.

Weird, I didn't noticed my phone yet. I quickly search the dress that I wore last night before changing into Lucas's clothes and there was my phone inside it's pocket. My eyes widen seeing how many missed calls I had from Nate.

322 missed calls and 652 unread texts all from Nate.

I quickly dialled him and he answered in an instant.

"Talia! Goodness, what the heck happened to you last night?! Are you alright!?" His voice was panicking.

"Calm down, Nate. I'm fine, I just got drunk last night and felt sick. Sorry I didn't went to you and tell you about." I lied, jumping back to the couch and watched TV while eating a hot pizza that I showered with some hot sauce.

"Jeez, don't you dare do that again. No matter what happened, tell me. I was so worried that you might went home with someone who seduced you or drugged you."

Unconsciously, I bit down my lip and chuckles. His assumptions were right. I did went home with someone who seduced me.

Or else, I think he was seducing me.

" I won't do it again, Nate. Don't worry. It was my fault and it is really a dumb move of me." I replied, sighing and resting my head back on the couch. "Anyway, I hope you two had fun last night."

"How can we have fun if you suddenly gone missing out of nowhere!" he exclaimed causing me to whince.

"I really am sorry." I twisted my lips and chuckles, weakly. "I will make it up to the bofh of you next time. I really am sorry."

Nate sigh on the other line and remained quiet for a moment before speaking once again. "Fine, love. Just don't do it again. I was really worried. Good thing Mom is not here or else I would really tell her to call the cops and tell them to find you."

I shake my head in disbelief then became serious. "Where is Mom? I thought he is not going to leave Dad's side while he is still in medication."

"I don't know. She didn't even gave me a single clue where she was going. Dad was gone too and the others told me that they went somewhere but I really doubt that." Nate explained. "Seriously, Talia...I am sensing something different between them. They don't...i don't know but...i just can't see the spark anymore between them."

"Excuse me?"

"Ever since you went gone to Paris, I noticed that Mom and Dad that they don't really come together anymore. Mostly, Mom would go somewhere else thrn Dad will go separately. That's weird because Mom do not even attenp to leave his side. As if, they are hiding something...I don't know. It is just a guess." Nate explained, confusion is clear in his voice."Now Dad is sick and Mom only stays by his side whenever I visit them or we plan to see each other. It is just confusing me. They are not like this before."

I am thinking about that but it is just hard to judge if I don't really spend time with them. And besides, Mom seems very distant since I returned. It is really weird but it makes me think about it now that Nate mentions it. Something is wrong with out parents that I couldn't picture or put my hands to it.

"You know...maybe because of their age?" I murmured, stupidity. "Don't worry about it, I'm sure they are just fine, Nate. Dad is an asshole sometimes so maybe Mom just wants to have some time alone...you know to think if it is still okay to leave Dad."

"Talia!" Nate scolded.

"I'm just kidding, Nate." I laughed at his reaction. "Maybe they are just undergoing some problems, I think? But, let's not stress ourselves over it. I'm sure Mom will come by." I answered, taking a huge bite of the pizza and looking like a couch potato here.

"I really hope so. Anyways, I will be leaving now."

I was going to reply back when suddenly I hear dog barks near my dog, causing me to get a little distracted by it. "Well, see yah." I told him before ending the call and strides towards the my door and opened it. A very enthusiastic Bruno greeted me, his tail was waving wildly and it seems like he purposely came to my door.

I rubbed his head and turn my vision to Lucas's door but it was closed. "Can't you get in, buddy?" I asked him as I head for the opposite door to check if this dog's owner is here. I pressed the button of the doorbell but a few seconds later, no one is answering. Probably why he was left here.

"Did that asshole owner of yours left you here?" I cooed the dog and he just keeps on walking around as if he is looking for something then he was rub his feet on the ground, waiting for me to go back inside.

He is probably smelling my food inside but I am not sure if pizza is allowed to be eaten by a dog though but I won't take the risk. I invited Bruno inside and he quickly makes his moves to smell and familiarise himself with the place. He sits down on my carpet inside the living room and sits there. I rubbed his head once again before dropping my body back to the couch then opens the TV and ready to have a movie marathon. But at the middle of the show, I noticed Bruno was just sitting there patiently as if he is waiting for Lucas to come back but I don't want him to stay that way for a long time.

I jump off the couch then head towards the fridge, I have a bread here so I will give this to that cutie.

"Bruno, do you want some?" I asked, waving the loaf of bread in front of him and his face immediately lifts up and becomes active in a snap.

I feed him the bread and he looks so happy after that because I got entertained while I play and rub his tummy. This dog is so cute and I really couldn't imagine that Lucas was taking care something like it. I remembered how much I love to have a dog in our home before but Lucas doesn't want to because he hates sharing my attention with him. Immature but cute. Those lines really strike to my heart like a cupid's arrow as it always get to me.

Bruno stayed by my side, watching and eating with me as he waits for his owner to come back. And it took us almost evening when we can finally hear someone outside my door.

Bruno quickly got alerted and head towards my door, waiting for me to open it. But before I could do it, I can hear him coughing causing his dog to bark with him. When my door finally reveals him, he was unlocking his own unit and he looks like a handsome shit. His hair is a mess but it made him hotter, then his eyes are high closed and he honestly doesn't look well.

The second that our eyes met, I was literally stunned and I couldn't process what I was going to say. Things get pretty awkward last night but we have to act like we don't care.

"Hey buddy." Bruno runs to his master and stands up to welcome him home. Lucas pets him before turning back to me. "Hey, Talia."

My eyes narrowed and I quickly paces in front of him and placed the back of my hand on his forehead. He immediately tries to remove my hand but too late because I already felt how hot his temperature is.

He is burning up.

"I'm fine, Talia." He acts cool despite his heavy feeling and fighting not to show me that he is feeling weak.

Same old Lucas.

He hates showing me how sick he is even if it is already obvious.

Wait, is this from last night? We got soaked from the rain and didn't even change his clothes because he gave it to me.

"Open your door, Lucas." I command. Shit. It is all my fault for being so irresponsible.

"Talia, I'm fine, okay?"

"Just open your door, Lucas." I interrupted him before my self guilt comes more evident. Lucas quickly unlocks his unit and Bruno runs inside before following behind them. He opens the light and I was greeted by his bachelor pad which is unbelievably clean and organized.

Lucas is dreadfully not feeling and it is so clear that he cannot walk properly due to his fever. I was walking behind him but I went to the effort to help him to his bedroom. From the designs and decorations of his unit, it is obvious that a bachelor is living here because there are nothing here that describes feminity. Simple but luxurious. That's how I describe this place. Even his drafting table is clean and no sign of dirt anywhere and it is making me very impressed.

"Jeez, how did you manage to work at this state? You barely even can walk." I murmured, dropping him on his large black bed.

Lucas helps himself to the bed and covers his eyes sith his arm. "This is just a fever, Talia. Something like this won't be a hindrance at my work."

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms. "Your logic is very weird, honey. How can you work or think properly if you are not feeling well."

Instead of replying, Lucas chuckles huskily and smiles at me, his eyes still droopy. "I miss your lectures once I got home from work."

Blood quickly rushes to my cheeks causing me to turn away. "I'm not lecturing you. I'm just telling you the truth." I rub my arms and feel a sudden coldness because being alone with Lucas brings me back so many kinds of memories that once sharedband I can't help but miss them. It pains me but at the same time, it makes me happy because I never regret meeting Lucas in my life. It is just life doesn't go well around us that we have to make the adjustments for it.

"Sounds the same to me." Lucas shrugs while turning his face. "I can take it from here, Talia. I'm sure you're uncomfortable being with me."

I gulped and shook my head. "No, you are sick because of me."

His eyebrows touched in confusion. "What?"

"Last night...at the car." I mumbled, avoiding the fact that we shared a hot kiss after that.

Lucas shakes his head and laugh. "When you got naked?"

"Oh fuck no!" I snapped, blushing like mad.

."You are blaming yourself wrongly, baby. I got sick because I didn't even bother to change clothes even when I got home last night. I stayed in my drench clothes and went to sleep. See, not your fault."

I pouted and not convinced by it. He is just telling me that so I won't blame myself."Still you wouldn't get wet if it weren't for me." I absent mindedly sat down on the bed side him.

Lucas snorted and raised himself to sit up. "I don't want any umbrella with me so, I would still be wet later on."

I was going to retort back but the thought hits me, he is surely not gonna let me take all the blame and the thought just makes me laugh. "You will really do anything so I wouldn't take the blame, huh?"

"You just noticed?"

"You do that even before, Lucas." I murmured and smiled kindly at him then standing up and off the bed. "You need to change some clothes so you could get comfortable. Where's your clothes?"

"Seriously, Talia-"

"Just shut up, Lucas and let me take care of you." I snorted, feeling really guilty that he's sick right now.

Surprisingly, Lucas did shut up and let me roam his bedroom until I finally came to his walk in closet and grab a comfortable white shirt. "Here, wear this."

He sits up slowly and removes his suit and tie. My cheeks heated up when he fully taken off his clothes and got naked. "Wait, I will just go get a bucket of water." I slide to get some bucket, an ice cold water and a blanket.

It feels strange that I am roaming around his house freely but I don't have any choice because I want to help him even for a bit. He has to deal with my stupidity last night and he was able to bring me home safely even if things because a little cloudy at the end. When I returned, he was still sitting and the buttons of his top are already open, revealing his nice toned body.

Focus, Talia. Don't act too obvious that you love staring at him.

Bruno was just at the living room, he won't leave his bed so I guess he is just fine over there.

I stand closer to him and gulps before telling him what we should do. "I-I...um...take your clothes off now."

"Ohhh, eager are we?" Lucas manages to tease me through his raging fever. I rolled my eyes at his retort and he follows my command without any second thoughts. When he finally takes his shirt off and now only wearing his black boxer shorts, I dunk the blanket on the pale of water before rubbing it all over his bare arms. I am resorting the fact that I touching his body but I don't know why I am behaving like this.

His eyes were focused deeply on me, watching my every move which is really uncomfortable but at the same time, jitters are enveloping me. Hate this feeling he gives me even at moments like this.

"Lie down, Lucas. You need to rest...sleep." I told him, fixing his pillow for him before he rests his head once again. I folded the damp blanket and placed it on his forehead. His eyes are still fix only at me so it kinda awkward to move. "W-why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like...like that..." I was really out of words because I'm too flustered but then, he smiles and grabs my wrist while it was still on his forehead.

"Stay...please." His eyes were half close but he is fighting not to so he can remain an eye contact. But failing. "Don't go yet."

My heart clenched as a sad smile spread on my lips while staring down at him. You are being unfair to me, Lucas. How can I move on from you if you keep on treating me like this? This is too complicated. The wicked truth of reality is the hindrance to all of this. Forcing us to turn around and stop this thing going with Lucas. We are over.

I must be focusing on our divorce but when he is behaving like this, I just want to fight for him.

Tell him that his mine only and he was never Silvia's. Only mine.

Whenever I say that in my mind, the fire within me keeps on burning up that I must not give up on our relationship. We just need to take care of some things but I can assure that we can do this together. But at the same time, I am afraid to continue thus with him. I am fighting with myself if I should really break up with him.

And I just want to scream in frustration.

Fine, just this once.

After a month of staying here, let me see.

Let me see if I can fight for our love. And if he will fight for us.

When I can sense that Lucas finally fell asleep, I stayed by his side and simply lie there at the small space but big enough for me to fit. I was curled on the bed, staring at his handsome face that just adds to his charisma.

I really miss moments like this. A scene of having him beside me.

The bed thing ever.

Yes, I know I will regret this decision someday and a lot will be angry at me and tell me how stupid I am, I don't care anymore.

Just this once again, let my heart decide for my happiness.

And he is my happiness.

"You're mine." I whispered before closing my eyes and let myself sleep beside the man that I love.

To be continued...