It's been a month since the last talk I had with Lucas. It has been pure nightmare without him but it is still painful evertime that I would think of the state of our relationship right now.

I keep on longing for his voice, his eyes, his touches and his love. I miss him terribly and it pains me too much causing me for my depression to get wors each passing day. It's like, whenever the thought that Lucas cheated on me is a toxic, worsening me. We only gave each other space but that doesn't totally mean that we are going to end this. I still haven't thought about if I must forgive him or leave him completely.

I just can't stay like this forever.

Now that I'm back with my family, of course I have to make up at the times that I lost. They wanted me to come and have breakfast with them every morning, of course I didn't, join them whenever they are at the hotel and they never want me to mention Lucas's name. 3 years is long enough to say that I changed and grow more independent but they do not seem to care about that. They will continue to try and put a collar on my neck so I would obey them.

Mom is very careful whenever opening the topic of Lucas, maybe she worries that I might go insane. But Dad, he was straightforward as always. Nothing new about that so I have to deal with his comebacks and blames. I must expect the worst but I'm relived that they are not forcing me stay here.

One morning, I was having breakfast with Mom and Dad near the pool at the hotel. To be in fact, this is the third time that I only had breakfast with them. I never left my room since I came here and I would only come down if I am going to eat and other than that, never. My room is the only place I want to be in it and I don't want to hang around with someone. I just want to be alone.

"I am very happy that you joined us for breakfast, Talia. I really am." Mom smiles at me as we eat.

I replied her with a small smile before digging my fork into my blueberry and strawberry waffles before slicing it and putting it in my mouth.

Even until now, I haven't told them about the baby. I don't know but I don't want to tell them yet because Lucas really deserves to know it first. My parents might go buzzard when they found out it was his child. I'm scared for the baby and I want to gave birth and gave him a complete family. Not like this.

We don't even have a proper house, a proper job and I don't have a proper husband. Great.

Just a few moments by, Nate came in and joined the breakfast as well. He sat next to me and the waiters quickly served him his meal. Probably the meal he always requested because I didn't saw them asking him what he wanted.

"So, what's the commotion here?" Nate asked, slipping a white napkin on his lap before proceeding to eat. He is already in a business attire and I'm still surprised to see him like this. Looks like he was serious when he said that he will handle his responsibly now. "Good morning, lil sis. Its good to finally have you join us for breakfast." He warmingly smiles which I returned.

"Getting out of my room once in a while might be a good change." I mumbled, looking at him.

"Well, make it a habit. You must join us for breakfast every day, honey. Let us bond together now that we all complete." Mom was very delighted and it is very obvious. Her eyes are sparkling and her smile cannot be wiped off. "We should go out and have a family vacation? Come on, we can go to Greece or in Paris like you always wanted, Talia. What do you say?" he turns to Dad then us.

A family vacation? This is a first. We never had a family vacation.

"We can't. I have a lot of work to do this week and the following 2 weeks." Dad answered with a serious face.

"Yeah, so am I, Mom. Sorry." Nate replied apologetically which made Mom lose the smile but halfway there. "How about you, Talia?"

"I can't, Mom. I won't stay long." I replied honestly which gathered all of their attention and made them stop from eating.

"What did you say?" Now my Dad spoke as he raised his head to turn to me.

"I still need to talk to Lucas and settle things, Dad." I told them, bringing my fork down and lean my elbows on top of the table. "I just hope you let me decided on this decision."

Mom looked at Dad, who seems to be not happy anymore knowing that I will try and talk to the guy he hates the most.

"No, you will not meet this guy again." Dad roars, leaving no more room for me to object. But that is not enough to scare me.

"You can't make the decisions for me anymore, Dad. I'm a grown woman and I can't let you handle me like a child." I continued to argue. My temper is very short right now and maybe that is the cost of my pregnancy. I always get irritated.

Mom had those concern in her eyes again and Nate seems to be fighting not to argue with me as well. But instead, I was surprised at what I heard from him.

"Let her, Dad. I trust that my sister is old enough to know what is right. If she and her husband couldn't their things then that's we take action." Nate stated, maintaining an older brother face but only him can match up with Dad's fumes.

Mom sigh and shakes her head. "Our son is right. Talia survived all these years on her own so I have no choice but to trust her. Besides, as much I don't want to admit it..." She turns to me with a sad smile before placing a hand on top of mine. "She's married now and that is a proof that she can make decisions that only her can benefit. She needs to deal with her own mess and I trust her for that."

Whoa, this is the very first time that my Mother stood up for me against my Dad. Before, it has always been Nate who protects me but now, Mom seems to understand me and she wants me to fight this battle.

But Dad shows no objection or change of heart. He shakes his head and tighten his grip. "No, my decision is final. As long as you, young lady, is living under my roof again, you will listen to my rules. And that is, you will never talk or see that boy again. Wake up, Talia. You caught him right on the spot and you are still going back to him? No, I will not let that happen."

I sigh and gripped the table cloth in irritation." Then this conversation is done...and so am I." I was about to stand up and leave.

"I will give you the opportunity to go back and study what you have started in Paris." Dad stated, giving me the serious look.

"What?"I got stilled.

"You didn't finish college because of that boy but now, I will give you a deal. Leave that boy, and I will support you on your Fine Arts career. Choose your path."

Finish my course? That's a dream come true.

I dreamed on finishing my course but I was obviously blinded by my love for Lucas so I ended up giving up on the other one. Now, I have a change to take it up again and finish the course. I always wanted this and my dream didn't end there. I still wanted to be a successful artist.

I gulped and thought of the two.

What am I going to choose?

"I can't belive this...you are seriously thinking of staying with that boy again." Dad sulked. "After everything he has done to you." He continued.

Because I have a child with him, Dad. That's why the decision making is hard! I just can't decide to leave him especially now that we are expecting a child together. I don't want to take away the rights of this child on having a complete family. That's what I just want.

A complete and happy family.

But I think none of the two will happen because I don't know if we will ever be complete...and happy.

"Give her time to think, Dad. I'm sure this is not easy for her." Nate says, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder before pursuing to eat.

We all ate in silence the next minutes. I wasnt able to swallow them anymore because I am too occupied.

There are screams inside my head saying that Family is much more important. You need to focus on fixing your relation because you will because a mother.

But then, my heart is telling me Follow your dream to be an artist. He already hurts you by choosing that woman even if he doesn't like her. He still chose to be played by her.

Now I am debating with myself. What should be followed? Whatever the choices are, I can't just think of myself anymore. I must consider my child too and my husband. What decision will make me follow the path that will give me the happiness? Me and my child's happiness. I must choose carefully.

But I want to see Lucas...

I badly want to see him.

But thinking him gives me pain. The scene of him and Silvia kissing is making me fucking lose my mind. I don't think I can handle being separated from him after everything we started and been through. And it will just be gone in a snap of a photo. Simple as that. It was destroyed.

Jeez, my tears are coming down again.

Right now, I'm in my dark room. The curtains are down and not a sheer of sunlight is taking its visit. I'm just sitting on my bed, arms hugging my legs as tears are downpouring through my cheeks. I keep on wiping them but another batch will soon fall. Its a never ending waterfall as my insides are breaking down, brutally. I want to scream the pain but I can't. Everything is just got stuck in my throat and all of them are screams of agony and anger because of such betrayal.

Yes, call me a lunatic but I know that this marriage will fall.

Just the thought that Lucas intentionally did those things. He is sick of our life so he will just run to someone who can easily open her legs to a married man. How great.

There are knockings on my door and I know who they are so I didn't bother checking it or opening it.

It's the same cycle everyday. Someone will come up to bring me food which I oftenly reject. I already went down to have breakfast earlier, I think that's fine. I'm not in the mood to eat or speak to anyone right now.

I check my phone once again because I heard it light up. I leaned to see the message through the cracked scream that I broke just recently when I saw a message from Lucas...and it doesn't differ from now. Another message from him saying how sorry he is and how badly he misses me.

From:Lucas
Hi kitten. I miss you. Please call or text me back. I will be here waiting for you at our home. I love you so much. So please, give me chance to explain everything.

He has been sending me message nonstop since we departed. I couldn't count the messages anymore because they are too many. I pressed the trash button and deleted the message so I wouldn't see it anymore.

Give him a chance to explain?

Call me an idiot but I really can't see him right now. It's feel so weird how bad I want to see him but I don't want to. Weird.

But that's just how it feels. Love always been so weird.

I threw my phone that I don't give a damn where it landed, but I heard a thud so it must have fell down on the floor again. My body fell on my bed and I stared at the ceiling. A pitch black room for a pitch black heart.

Thinking about it, I suddenly remebered the chance of studying back in Paris. I don't want to miss it but that means losing Lucas totally. Finally breaking it for the both of us. Burning the core and no more turning back to where we came from.

If I choose to study then I have the change to renew my life and be better but in exchange, it's a life without Lucas anymore. Not giving him a chance anymore to explain and tell me why he did that. Why he chose to be with Silvia behind my back?

If those are all games then why does her Father also needs to know and he fucking approves of my husband. That means that they have been together not just in that party but they already been dating even before that.. Fuck, I just keep on ruining myself with this thoughts.

I'm getting paranoid here.

I buried my face with my pillow and God help me for this nightmare.

-----

TWO DAYS passed,  and here I am standing inside my Dad's office already made up on what I shall choose.

I've been thinking about this yesterday and this is what makes me feel satisfied. I want to be sure before I go to my Dad and tell him my answer. This is the only way to finally let myself be free from my pain.

Dad is sitting in front of me, looking at me with seriousness as if this was only a business proposal or anything. But I don't care. He can no longer frighten me because my mind is clear and my heart is stoned. This is it...

This is what will make me happy...

I know this will make me better...

And this will be best for my baby...

"What is your choice?" Dad asked me, he stood up from his chair and crossed his arms. His stand is both powerful and terrifying. Nothing can be able to match up with my Dad when it comes to decision making like this. He will always win.

"I want to presume my study, Dad. I choose to leave Lucas."

A victory grin formed in his thin lips and then swiftly grab the telephone and called someone. But before he could talk to the other line, he looked at me and said "Good choice, Talia. Finally, you are using your brain over your heart."

Jesus, is this the right decision?

Is this even really going to set me free from the pain?

To be continued...

We are finally reaching the peak of the story and how everything is going to be intense. So, what do you think of the choice she made? Do you think it's right? Or should she stay with the man he loves?

Please comment down and tell me what you think. Have a new day everyone! God bless!