Everything about Cameron Tate turned out to be a lie!

She was fooling herself into believing it was more than it really was.

Cameron hadn't lied to her, she was the one doing the lying!

She lied to herself, she desperately wanted this to be something it wasn't. No use denying it. One night stands, casual relationships and no strings - just wasn't for her.
Having sex, just having fun without making any plans, without any relationship prospects, just wasn't her idea of a good time. That wasn't the cure she needed to get over another break-up. The memory of Justin was still there, no amount of great sex was going to erase the hurt. Not tens or hundreds or thousands of Cam's were going to mend her broken heart, he just added to the heartache. She allowed herself to get attached, she couldn't help it. It was in her heart and soul, the way she was wired and built, she wanted...she needed to fall in love, for real.

That had to be her mission in life, to find that certain someone, right?

But Cameron wasn't that guy and he told her early on, she should have listened to her gut back then and never gotten involved with a player like that. He already moved on and found someone willing to partake in his games.

She wasn't going to be his fling.

Never again. She was never going to stray from her principles or her gut feeling ever again. Nothing good would come from that.

She felt like crying.

Why was she crying over Cameron? Someone hurts you and the first impulse is to cry or get angry. And Cameron did hurt her...it wasn't like she had pictured herself walking up the aisle or anything like that, but she wanted more, she wanted to be more than a one night stand to Cameron, but she wasn't apparently. And that alone made her cry.

She didn't love Cameron, did she?

No.

The idea of him, the thought of him - perhaps.

He was perfect, everything about him was perfect. His beautiful blue eyes, his muscular body and light tan.

Every physical trait satisfied her, she had never been with a guy in his league. Sixpack, perfect blond hair and white teeth. No imperfections whatsoever! He was almost too perfect.

Too perfect for her.

She liked his ambitious nature, and his ability to own it. His fate, his legacy and his heritance.

The only thing Hannah truly did not like was his inability to commit to someone on an emotional level. Why did he fear the possibility of falling in love?

Why was he running away from the prospect of finding a soulmate, it made no sense to her.

Maybe she just wasn't the one for him, maybe he just hadn't met her yet and regardless of how she felt, obviously Cameron wasn't hers either.

She cried some more, it felt so lonely, crying alone in the dark.

Meeting Cameron didn't cure her loneliness, regretfully - only for a little while, but he was never really there, was he? He was never really hers.

He felt disconnected.

She felt disconnected and she longed to experience that true connection with someone, like she had with Justin. In the beginning she was certain they were meant to be together and that particular feeling was amazing, but rare apparently!

Nothing seemed to last.

Looking back, she thought she loved Justin, she had been prepared to marry him, start a family with him...but now it dawned on her, maybe she never truly loved Justin either? Maybe she just loved the idea of him. Wanting him to be the one, to fit the description?

But did he really?

Suddenly she no longer trusted her own judgement.

It's not like she made a list of demands for her future husband, she just wanted to be in love, to feel loved. She couldn't care less if he was a doctor or a teacher, his profession wasn't important to her, as long as he loves what he does, that has to be the important thing, right?

She wasn't picky about hair color, body size...stuff like that didn't matter to her, she just has to be attracted to the man in her life, passion is important.

The passion with Cam was nothing like she ever experienced before and suddenly she felt scared, scared she would never have that kind of passion ever again?

Once again she felt like crying.

But a soft knock on the door interrupted her.

Opening the door, she forgot every promise she just made and the vision of Cameron standing in front of her was all she needed to fool herself.

Minutes later they were wrapped up in each others arms, naked. Making love...making her forget everything.

As she fell asleep the smile on her face lasted until morning, fading as she opened her eyes to read the note next to her on the pillow.

It just said: "Sorry, I can't do this"

Realizing Cam was gone, she had nothing left to do but CRY.