Char

The noise in the hallways is louder once the students get out of class.

It's been a week and a half since Alex arrived at my house.

Exactly a week and a half since his birthday.

It was two days later, when my anger and sadness over what happened faded, that I remembered that I completely ruined his birthday. I promised him a gift, I promised him a good day to remember, but I was the one who did nothing for him other than get mad at him for being there for me.

Being the only person in a long time to be there.

But the fear that I've ruined it has left me paralyzed so many times in front of his door.

I look at the display case full of awards in front of me, and I see the photo right in the middle.

Alex's beautiful smile hasn't changed over the years. I force myself to see only him, holding up a trophy, and not my brother, who is next to him, just as happy.

So happy.

I watch as my father's car parks, watch as he gets out of the car and slams the door into the house, and wait half an hour until the light in his room goes out as I start walking towards the gate.

I jump over it, careful not to make any noise. I climb up to my window with a ladder hidden under the weeds, enter my room, run to the door, making sure it's closed, and sigh with relief.

I see my empty room, with only the few clothes he couldn't grab because of his fit of rage.

I see my unmade bed and head over to it to curl up against the only pillow still available.

Before sleep overcomes me, I set an alarm early enough so that I have enough time to get out of the house before my father notices I've slept over.

Alex

"I know, I know, I need to bring all that stuff; don't push me; I just need to buy that stuff to get everything ready. I know, enough, Mosi, I'm hanging up!" I hang up the call, sighing, and grab my wallet and car keys before running to the door.

I open the door and step out, turning around to close it.

Before I know it, I bump into a small body.

I'm quick enough to steady us both before we fall.

My eyes closed in shock. I look down and freeze as I recognize the small head.

Char's eyes watch me nervously as she pulls away from me.

"Are you about to leave?" Her words leave me speechless. Her small smile, the wobble of her legs, and the movement of her hands tell me she is nervous, but stating the obvious is all she manages to say.

"I have to buy some things."

Almost three weeks, again.

It's been almost three weeks since I saw her lying in front of her house, completely soaked, crying after her father's violence.

There have been no messages or calls.

Nothing. As much as I've looked for her, like last time, she has a talent for disappearing when she wants to.

Char nods, and I notice how she swallows and turns to look at me after sighing.

"I wanted to apologize..."

"You don't have to." My cutting words stop her.

Concern flashes in the black-haired girl's eyes.

"Alex, I really wanted to apologize to you, I didn't act like I should have, and..."

"Char." I sigh, stopping her again, not feeling ready for whatever this conversation is going to bring. "Please stop; I understand what you need me for; I understand what you want me for; I get it. You drew a line, and I didn't see it, but now I see it. I won't cross it again."

Char's eyes scan me. I pray her eyes are still on mine, not on my white knuckles that threaten to break the key ring on my car keys.

Char looks down, looks at her hands, and there I notice she's holding a box.

"I... I wanted to give you your present." My eyes widen in surprise. Her eyes look at me with pain and sorrow. "I know it's late, I know we couldn't celebrate your birthday like I wanted to, but... I wanted to give it to you."

"You didn't have to. " A sad little smile appears on her face.

And I don't know how I didn't hit my head against the wall.

What if she only wants me to party? What if the only way I can be around her is when she needs to run away?

Just being around her should be enough for me.

So why? Why does my heart refuse to accept just that from her?

Because I want everything from her.

That's why.

I know it well, and my heart does too.

I don't want to be just her escape, I want to be her refuge too. I want to be the whole damn house.

I want her to want it too.

Char nods, convincing herself of an internal conversation.

"I understand. I'm really sorry, Alex. I thank you for caring about me," she says. Char crouches down, setting the box on the floor.

My body tenses up. The girl looks at me one last time before turning away.

"What happened to your brother, Char?"

The black-haired girl petrifies, her shoulders tense, and she stops breathing, as if she's been punched in the stomach.

My heart starts pounding.

Answer me, Char, answer me. Open up to me, I need to know that you will. I need to know if this has a future.

She turns around and looks at me painfully. She understands my verbal bullet, she knows I know it's a touchy subject. Saying it without a care in the world.

Idiot, idiot. You don't need to know.

"Why...?"

"My parents... My parents loved you, Char; my parents loved your brother; they loved the three of us together. They..." my words cut off, my hand goes to my chest, wanting to remove that pressure inside it, I move a little closer to her. "They believed that after school we were going to stay together, I believed it too, but Dan-"

"Don't say his name." My heart freezes, Char's body trembles with anger, but I don't stop.

"He stopped contacting me, I didn't hear from him, and neither did my parents. I tried to contact you, but there was no way. My parents moved into this house when I traveled on my gap year, by the time I got back, they were dead. There was no one, Char; they weren't here; my best friend wasn't here, and neither was the person I thought was my best friend, too."

Tears run down her cheeks, her jaw trembles, and her eyes reflect pure pain.

"When you came over that day, when you asked me out to party, I was so amazed to even have you in front of me that I didn't thought to ask all this, but I need to know, Char, because I want to have you in my life, but I need you to stop shutting me out of yours."

My breath is ragged, and a lump forms in my throat as I see Char devastated, as if all the memories are going through her mind over and over again, tearing her apart again.

"Tell me, Char, please, tell me how I can enter your life." I raise my hand, raise my hand to her, waiting for her touch, begging for her touch.

It's her gaze that makes me lower my hand. It's that one last tear that makes me close my eyes.

When I open them, Char is gone.