Wakanda, August 10, 2016

The entire room was quiet. All Bucky heard was the echo of Lucas's words and the rushing of his blood in his ears as his heart thumped erratically in his chest. 

'I was there to pick up the damn pieces after what he did to Evy!'

He ran his hand through his long hair, yanking at it, hoping that the pain might jolt him into remembering. What did he do? What did HYDRA make him do to Evelyn? Did they find out about her? Did they torture her? Kill her? Had he been their instrument?
With every theory, Bucky's anxiety grew. He struggled to breathe. His vision blurred as tears welled up in his eyes. A strangled sob escaped him. His fist landed on the smooth surface of the table. A good thing it was made of vibranium, else it would've surely cracked and split into pieces. 

No. No, I loved her. I... I couldn't have... God, please... Please don't let this be true. 

Bucky dared to glance up at Steve. His friend still faced the black screen, balled fists trembling at his side. It looked like he was about the throw a fit, and Bucky honestly couldn't blame him if he did. He could only imagine what was going through Steve's mind right now. Lucas had been their one shot at getting answers, yet all they had now were more questions and the sense of hope and sanity that had been growing since learning he was alive slipping through their fingers. He had to do something. Say something. Anything at all.

"Steve, I —"

"Don't." Steve's voice cut like a razor-sharp blade. "I really don't wanna get into it now, Buck."

"But I —"

Steve spun around, silencing Bucky immediately. His face was contorted with rage, teeth bared and nostrils flaring. Those usual kind baby-blue eyes were taken over by a violent storm, threatening to come crashing down on Bucky at any moment. His body moved on its own and back away, impressed by Steve's fury. Never had he seen him in such a state. Seemed like it was another thing the Rogers twins had in common — when they got pissed off, they were downright intimidating.

"I'm only gonna say this once, so pay attention. You're gonna continue Evelyn's journal right now. I don't care how long it takes or if it hurts you, but you're gonna sit your ass down and finish that goddamn thing! You read it to the very last letter, even if it kills you, you hear me?"

Bucky stood petrified at Steve's outburst, unable to move even an inch. His eyes traveled down at the book on the table. Once again, Lucas's words hummed through him.

'It won't change all the suffering she went through because of you!'

Even though his heart bled with whatever he may learn from continuing, Bucky's mind, however fractured it was, urged him to persevere. He owed it to himself. To Steve. And to Evelyn.
With the weight of the past on his shoulders, Bucky sat down, hearing Steve talk to T'Challa in the background. He forced himself not to look in their direction and opened the journal on the last page he read. A single tear that had been pricking the corner of his eye finally fell. It stained Evelyn's elegant handwriting. Bucky's fingers trembled as he carefully brushed it off her words. 

𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚊 𝚐𝚘𝚍𝚍𝚊𝚖𝚗 𝚏𝚘𝚘𝚕 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚔𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗. 𝙷𝚊𝚍 𝙸 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚌𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚙𝚒𝚍 𝚋𝚞𝚝𝚝𝚘𝚗 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚙𝚒𝚗, 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙷𝚘𝚠𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝙲𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚘𝚜 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍'𝚟𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚖𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚉𝚘𝚕𝚊 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚕𝚞𝚗𝚔𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚍𝚒𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚞𝚜.
𝙱𝚞𝚝 𝙸 𝚍𝚒𝚍𝚗'𝚝 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚒𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚂𝚂𝚁 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗. 𝙸 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚊𝚕𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚢 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚒𝚡-𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚑 𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚔𝚎𝚛, 𝚜𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚞𝚖𝚎 𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚍. 𝙴𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚒𝚏 𝙸 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝙷𝚘𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚍'𝚜 𝚠𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚑 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚎𝚗𝚍 𝚊 𝚖𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚊𝚐𝚎, 𝚒𝚝 𝚘𝚗𝚕𝚢 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚊 𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚠𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚢-𝚏𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚜. 𝙸𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚗𝚘 𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚒𝚏 𝚗𝚘𝚋𝚘𝚍𝚢 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚙𝚒𝚌𝚔 𝚞𝚙 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚒𝚐𝚗𝚊𝚕. 𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚘𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚘𝚠𝚗.
𝙼𝚢 𝚙𝚛𝚒𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚢 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚆𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚂𝚘𝚕𝚍𝚒𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝙹𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝙱𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚜 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝙸 𝚋𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚑𝚘𝚖𝚎. 𝚂𝚘 𝙸 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚢𝚎𝚍 𝚖𝚢 𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚏𝚘𝚌𝚞𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞. 𝚈𝚎𝚝 𝚒𝚗 𝚍𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚘, 𝙸 𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚜𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚏𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚜. 𝙸 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚏𝚎𝚕𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚝 𝚌𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚖𝚎.

***

HYDRA base - Siberia, May 4, 1946

Negative. Evelyn smirked at the result. It was the third test she took upon Zola's insistence, and yet another to come back with the same result. It was a blow for HYDRA, but a victory for her. The day after the Winter Soldier woke up, she and Nikolai took fresh semen from him so they could go ahead with the first fertilization attempt.
Evelyn knew there was no way she could conceive because of the damage she'd suffered to her abdomen and uterus during the war, but she'd still sabotaged the attempt just to be safe. The vial containing the 'donation' had been left a little too close to the bunsen burner she used for some of the other tests, and she had hovered the glass tube over it a few times while moving stuff around on the somehow cluttered desk. Accidentally... on purpose. 

"Verdammt!" Zola cursed loudly when he read the paper over Evelyn's shoulder. "Wie schnell können Sie es erneut versuchen?"
(Dammit! How soon can you try again?)

"Erst nächsten Monat, fürchte ich." Evelyn turned her chair to face Zola. "Nach meinen Berechnungen habe ich meine Eisprungperiode überschritten. Es wäre von geringem Zweck es jetzt noch einmal zu versuchen da ich bald meine —"
(Only next month, I fear. According to my calculations, I have passed my ovulation period. It would be of little purpose to try again right now as I will soon have my —)

"Ja, ja, danke," reacted Zola, annoyed, waving his hand dismissively. "Das brauche ich nicht zu wissen."
(Yes, yes, thank you. I do not need to know about that.)

Evelyn scoffed to herself at his words. If only he did know about that. Seeing his face when he realized just how clever she'd fooled all of them would make her triumph over HYDRA's defeat even more satisfactory. 
She had always been fairly irregular in her monthlies, but it had grown worse after her injuries at the French front. Sometimes, she missed them completely. This alone could have posed a severe problem in volunteering for the breeding trial, since she was carefully monitored by Nikolai from day one. Fortunately, her position as nurse provided her with everything she needed. 

All staff were required to do a full physical every month. No one knew why and no one thought it worth their lives to ask. They all just nodded and let the medical team do their stuff. Evelyn had immediately volunteered to help draw blood, and whenever she had someone in the chair who was deadly afraid of needles — and there were quite a few — she would tell them to look away and count to thirty, giving her the opportunity to take a vial or two more. She kept the blood in a hole in the wall, hidden from sight by her bed, to spill every four weeks on her bed linen and pads. All to keep her cover up. 

"Sind Sie sicher dass wir es nicht früher versuchen können?" inquired Zola again. 
(Are you certain we cannot try any sooner?)

"Es wäre eine Verschwendung von Sperma, und ich würde es vorziehen wenn mein Körper keinem zusätzlichen Stress ausgesetzt wäre," replied Evelyn. "Dr. Zola, ich weiß dass Sie enttäuscht sind, aber ich habe von Anfang an gesagt dass wir alle geduldig sein müssen. Dies ist ein kompliziertes Verfahren und erfordert Versuch und Irrtum. Aber ich vertraue darauf dass wir Erfolg haben werden."
(It would be a waste of sperm, and I would prefer my body not to be subjected to additional stress. Dr. Zola, I realize you are disappointed, but I said from the very start, we would all need to be patient. This is a complicate procedure and requires trial and error. But I have faith we will succeed.)

She forced herself to give him her most encouraging smile. It almost made her vomit.

"Ich nehme an Sie haben Recht." The scientist sighed, taking his glasses off his snubby nose to drag a hand over his face. "Ich werde mich auf Ihre Sachkenntnis verlassen. Sie werden Nikolai selbst informieren?"
(I suppose you are right. I shall rely on your expertise on the matter. You will inform Nikolai yourself?)

"Ja, Herr Doktor."
(Yes, Doctor.)

He exited the little office space without looking back, leaving Evelyn alone. She exhaled in relief, glad she bought herself some extra time. Now, she could focus on what really mattered — saving James. But in order to do that, she had to break through the Winter Soldier and reach the man he truly was again. She had to get him alone to see if it was truly the song he'd reacted to or if something else was at play. Unfortunately, getting some privacy was easier said than done.

The Winter Soldier had been transferred to a closed ward, with only Evelyn and Nikolai to tend to him. Her supervisor didn't want to leave her with the Winter Soldier for longer than necessary, but even he needed a break once in a while. And he was growing ever more infatuated with her, making it was easy for Evelyn to spin him around her finger. No, the real problem where the guards. 
Two remained inside with the Soldier at all times. Another two stood in the corridor, and two more at the elevator. If the Soldier somehow escaped his bindings, all were under express order to stop him at any cost, even if that meant collapsing the corridor and elevator with explosives. With superhuman strength and fast healing abilities, the theory was the Soldier would survive being buried alive in rubble but be incapacitated for long enough for reprogramming. Any other casualties were acceptable losses. Any, except Evelyn. 

It's ironic that Zola needing me will cause his downfall, she thought as she cleared her desk. He ordered I was to be secured if the Winter Soldier escaped, so I'm obviously valuable to him. But I still need to be careful. I already took too many unnecessary risks and slipped out of my cover. It's a good thing I have Nikolai on my side.

Evelyn paused a moment, thinking of her Russian friend. Any other time, any other place, she would've given him a chance. She would've allowed her walls to come down and see where that lead them. But it could never be. He was HYDRA. Her enemy. And he wasn't... 

Don't, she scolded herself. Don't do this to yourself. It's no use comparing Nik to him. That night meant nothing. It happened once, and it will never happen again. You got swept in by the moment and the liquor, needing comfort from that horrid day, and he took advantage of that. He... It was nothing. Nothing...

But as much as Evelyn wanted to lay all the blame on James, she couldn't deny what her heart was telling her. Nor could she deny what she felt every time she was near him. The urge to have his body pressed against hers, and to have those full lips kiss hers one more time, couldn't be ignored. 
Her eyes traveled to the open door of the back-office. The Winter Soldier's silent figure was lying calmly in his bed. He hadn't made a peep since being questioned by Zola a few days ago. But that meant nothing. The man's cold eyes said it all, following Evelyn everywhere she went. To this day, it amazed her HYDRA's elite assassin and her brother's best friend were one and the same. Not only that, it pained her, too. Seeing James trapped in his own body was agonizing. She had to free him.

Evelyn took a deep breath and walked out of the office toward her patient, wrapping her cardigan tightly around her as the chilly air made her shiver. A year before her arrival, a flood from sudden thaw combined with lousy infrastructure caused some power failures and other damages to the lower levels of the base, so it wasn't used anymore for anything other than storage for things no one cared about anymore. Water still trickled from the pipes and down the concrete walls, making it a lot colder than the upper levels. There was a bare minimum of equipment and most of it was broken. Anything they needed had to be brought down the rickety service elevator. It reminded Evelyn so much of the living conditions in some tenements of Brooklyn. Minus the overcrowding, infectious diseases, fleas, lice, ticks, scabies, cockroaches... Nothing to be done about the rats, though. That vermin survived anything. 

As she made her way to the Soldier, Evelyn glanced to the guards at the door. Nikolai had left three hours ago to catch some shut-eye, so it was just her and those two knuckleheads. They'd stood at attention the entire time Zola was present, but the moment he left, they'd returned to their casual conversation. Not much else to do but talk and perhaps play a card game with the others outside, leaving the doors open to not belay any of Zola's orders. Yet every guard kept his weapon close at hand at all times. 
The Winter Soldier caught Evelyn approaching. She halted when his icy eyes met hers. Did the temperature drop in the room? It sure felt like it. With one last glimpse at the guards, Evelyn drew closer to the Soldier. She took him by the wrist, supposedly to check his pulse, and kept her voice low enough so only he could hear her. 

"You must remember this.
A kiss is still a kiss.
A sigh is still a sigh.
As time goes by."

His head dropped back against the thin pillow. His eyelids fluttered. A struggled groan escaped him. Evelyn's eyes shot up to the guards. They hadn't noticed. She continued.

"And when two lovers woo,
they still say, 'I love you.'
On that, you can rely.
No matter what the future brings,
as time goes —"

"Hm..."

James' moan silenced Evelyn instantly. She quickly placed two fingers against his lips. His eyes widened in a momentary panic, but recognition then struck. Evelyn again looked at the guards. James was positioned in such a way they could only see the back of the upright bed and his head, but they could still hear him if he was too loud. 

"Keep your voice as quiet as you can," she warned him. "Do you remember who you are?"

It took a moment before he nodded. Evelyn removed her fingers, fighting the urge to press them against her own lips.

"Tell me," she said.

"My name is Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes of the 107th," replied James. "I live in Brooklyn. My father's name is George. My mother, Winifred, died giving birth to my baby sister, Rebecca. Before I enlisted, I worked at the docks."

"What about me?" asked Evelyn, taking the stethoscope from the cart.

"Your name is Evelyn Deborah Rogers. You're my best friend Steve's twin sister."

"D'ya recall where we are?"

James took in his surroundings. His eyes fell on what remained of his left arm. His breath hitched as he scowled at the stump. 

"HYDRA," he hissed, balling his right hand into a fist. 

Evelyn exhaled slowly. One less hurdle to take. His memories were clearly unaffected by the Winter Soldier or the reprogramming. She put the chest piece of the stethoscope on his right lower pec.

"How you feelin'?" she asked. "Any pain?" 

"No, nothing." 

"Good." She moved her instrument to the left. "The wounds you sustained in Africa have healed nicely. Even the scars are fadin' already."

"My wounds?" James furrowed his brow.

"Cuts, bruises, burns, even claw and bite marks. You were the only one who made it back after being gone for months. They're not even bothering to search for the other scientists and soldiers. Everyone's presumed dead. The only thing the Winter Soldier said was there was a black cat. I think maybe he was talkin' 'bout a panther."

"A what?"

Evelyn shushed him when his voice went a bit too high. She checked on the guards, but they weren't paying any attention to her, thank God. She heard bits of their conversation. The snow was melting outside. Seemed like they were going to have a mild spring. Christ, it seemed ages ago since she'd last seen the sun. 

"Blondie?" 

She blinked as James' voice pulled her out of her musings. He looked at her with the same curious gaze as before. No longer were his eyes cold as ice, but a more light pure beryl. They drew her in, beguiling her. Those damn eyes had cost her everything once before. She couldn't allow that to happen again. Yet despite that thought, her hand moved on its own to rest over his heart.
Evelyn's knees weakened at the surprising warmth of his skin. For a second, she believed she felt and heard her own heart quicken, but she then realized it was James'. Hurriedly, she drew back, removing the stethoscope, and whirled around to hide the blush on her cheeks.

"I know you want answers, James," she muttered, trying to keep her voice from quivering. "I'm tryin' my best to find out as much as I can about what's goin' on here, but I gotta be careful. One false move and it's all over, for both of us."

"I get that," he said. "But I need a bit more than that, Blondie. Ya told me I was an assassin for HYDRA, yet here I am, stuck in their version of Frankenstein's lab. There's somethin' else they're doin' to me, ain't there?"

Evelyn pressed her lips together. She really didn't want to tell him about the trial, but he deserved to know. It might even spark some of his own fighting spirit to keep the Winter Soldier at bay. Slowly, she turned back to face him. One guard briefly looked in her direction. She took the little flashlight from her pocket; maintaining the ruse of being mid-examination, and took a step closer to James. 

"They're usin' you for a special project," she explained as she checked his pupil reflexes, holding his head still with one hand. "They wanna see if they can create more super-soldiers like you without the serum. In the natural way."

Their eyes met again. His widened as her words sunk in. "Are you saying that... t-they're making me...?"

"No," said Evelyn hastily. "No, not like that. We extract your sperm and then inject it into the vagina of the female donor. They had a few successful conceptions before I came, but every woman suffered a miscarriage and died from complications or was disposed of. There hasn't been a new pregnancy yet, nor will there be one. I'm makin' sure of that."

"You? I don't — wait, what d'ya mean with 'we'?"

"Zola put me in charge when he learned I was a midwife."

James gaped at Evelyn. If the situation wasn't so serious, she would find his expression funny. It was almost as comical as when he learned where Steve went to draw. She couldn't tell him the whole truth, though. If he learned she was the female test subject, he would freak out. Best to leave that particular can of worms undisturbed.

"What, um... What's your...?"

"James?"

He shut his eyes, groaning and shaking his head. His body tensed, trembling against his restraints, and then suddenly slumped on the bed. Evelyn carefully cupped his face.

"James?" she whispered. "Bucky, can you hear me?"

His eyes shot open — eyes of a killer. Evelyn recoiled with a silent gasp. How? She hadn't said the trigger words, and James hadn't gone through the reprogramming in months. How did the Winter Soldier just suddenly take over again?
He glared at Evelyn, sizing her up. She'd never been so afraid of someone in her entire life. But she couldn't let the fear win. She had to fight him. For Bucky.