Chapter 54

Mending Lives

Voices of playful Isabelle gurgling, laughing and Edwin's soft honeydew laughter woke Iris up in the morning as she lifted the covers put on me while I was asleep.

I know who the one behind it is and my lips curved to a smile....

Antonym of emotions seared in Iris.

She felt guilty, ashamed and terrible about herself

How can a mother sleep when her child is in danger? Or was it all a dream?

Iris opened her eyes to shut them again.

The bright sunlight emanating from the windows made het squint as she reopened them, her heart pounding with fear.

Iris was jerked back into the past when she was surprised waking up in a complete different ambience.

Isabelle crying, her abdominal pain and then Dr.Simpson uttered those words 'Isabelle is critical', Iris went out of control.

Oh shit! I even slapped the doctor.

Iris behaved like a possessed screaming, shouting and cursing when the staff and the nurses held her tightly making her wince with her inner pain and she sobbed bitterly.

What followed next was a small tinge like that of a mosquito bite from a syringe on her veins.

A tiny painful pierce and there was peace everywhere.

Iris closed her eyes or was dumped into a slumber that was a sweet one where Isabelle cuddled in her arms, smiling joyously, playing with her hands and feet.

She then turned small all of a sudden and I kept on watching her feeding from her boobs, then Stella dancing with her every first, Edwin taking her for a walk and Stella dying for Isabelle.

Now Dr Simpson says 'she is critical'

"No! I cannot let her die, Stella sacrificed her life for Isa, she was her gift, I cannot let her go" she yelled and then the noises from next door awakened her.

It was only a dream

"I wanted to see Isabelle with my own eyes. I want to feel her in my arms. I wanted to confirm that she is okay, she is healthy" she pushed the nurse aside

Iris rushed to the source of voices and found Isa playing some games with Edwin and Edwin smiling at her, the contentment quite clear in his eyes.

Wait! Wait! Edwin was smiling and playing with Isa.

Another reason I respect Stella for forcing me to sleep with Edwin...

"Hey! Your baby's fine" one of the elderly looking nurses probably in her late forties said looking at Iris lovingly.

Remembering the way she behaved last night Iris blushed embarrassingly.

Edwin turned around to see Iris, his face devoid of any emotions but he was there and he cared.

Isabelle jumped towards Iris when she came to her sight making the mother proud of her.

Though her face seemed to be much pale but even with the syringe still implanted on the back of her palms, just below her knuckles, she was still smiling. Edwin without any hesitation passed her to Iris and even ruffled her lovely dark curls with love...

He was out of his mourning!

'''''''''''''

Isabelle was the one who brought Edwin back to their lives, his own life.

She was the only reason why Edwin breathed, ate, smiled, laughed and played.

She was the first thing that he'd see when he woke up in the morning followed by passing angry comments on Iris's house management.

I was very bad in managing house unlike Stella who'd make it a point that her home was spick and span.

Iris would try but with Isabelle's growing movements and tantrums, things were really getting out of control.

Yesterday he shouted over Iris for keeping Isabelle's bottles unwashed, earlier it was about his room that was left messy after she fed Isabelle there showing her pictures of Stella that always enlightened her and made it easy to feed her.

He'd always pick up things that were out of order and get furious at Iris.

'No I am not a careless mother; I simply keep my staff away from doing Isa's things.' Iris justified to no one 'I love to do it myself resulting in overstuffing of things and havoc.'

Come on this is my first experience as a mother!

Iris would be honest enough to admit that she started avoiding being in the same room as Edwin's and had started being scared of him.

Wish I could stop loving him, which was not possible, not in this birth....

The worst was Isabelle's birthday when he got so angry that he shouted with Isabelle in his arms.

He had never done that.

Being her big day they were taking her to Stella's grave and Iris dressed her in one the new dresses that she had recently brought for her.

His losing of temper was based on the fact that Isabelled was supposed to dress her in one of the dresses that Stella had got for her.

Iris immediately asked Martha to get it changed, clearly avoiding being in front of Edwin.

Iris knew his short temper was a clue for her that he did not want her to accompany both of them to Stella's and Iris understood as she ran to her room, locked herself in it and sobbed internally, not letting a drop of tear flow.

Iris had chosen this life for myself and she had to be strong

I couldn't cry over what I had put myself into.

~~~~~~~

Isabelle turned one year and six months today.

She was the sweetest child Iris had ever seen, not that she had seen much of children in her life but still Isabelle was the best and she loved every bit of her. She gave meaning to my existence, she was heir to my unconditional maternal love, and she was my world.

Today when it was time for Edwin to take Isabelle for a morning stroll, Iris was playing with her trying with the new jumpsuit and shoes that she had brought for her especially for a morning walk.

Edwin saw Iris with her and cringed; he was getting restless to take Isabelle in his arms.

He got so impulsive that he shouted at Iris that even Isabelle got scared and leaned her shivering body closed to her.

She was so scared that she hid behind Iris peeping at Edwin's figure in dismay

"Its okay baby." Iris kissed her forehead and handed her to Edwin.

Edwin had a grimaced look on his face, completely disappointed at the fact that Isabelle was scared of him.

He barged out of the room with a look of fierce added with guilt multiplied by remorse.

Being her routine to go for a stroll daily Martha volunteered to take Isabelle for her stroll.

Each and every staff of the house was quite affectionate towards Isabelle.

She distributed love wherever she went and she had the magic to make people move around her little finger.

She was that adorable.

Iris had made peace with the fact that Edwin took her as a stranger living in his house,

I was worst than the house staff who had the privileged to at least talk to Edwin to have his word of appreciation but me I was like a plaque to Edwin.

The entire staff knew about this and the way Isabelle responded at Edwin's outpour today, Iris was sure she'll learn soon that her parents were not sharing a normal relationship.

She does not have a normal family.

Memories of Stella's words came streaming down in Iris's head "I want to gift my child with a perfect family."

Iris rotated the platinum band with a small diamond that Edwin had slid into her fingers while taking vows.

This marriage though legal was a major failure.

It wasn't working.

They were husband and wife sharing tolerance of each other.

Edwin tolerated Iris's presence in the house and Iris had learnt to tolerate his short temper.

Iris sighed. "This was not the reason Stella forced us into this marriage."

"No she didn't" Iris was stunned at Twain, Edwin's dad appearance all of a sudden.

"Hello Twain " Iris greeted

"She did it because she wanted Isabelle to have a perfect family," Twain said "she did it because she wanted Edwin to be happy with you"

"But nothing's working fine." Iris said defeated.

"You are not trying to let it work." Twain stated "You was accepting it as fate."

"What does that mean?" Iris was confused.

"You have to do the things right." He patted on her shoulders "you are stronger than this" he said "Stella chose you for a reason"

"I know now what I should do." Iris nodded, "I need to sort this out before it is too late."

Iris went to where Edwin would be right now.

She knew for sure he wouldn't be in his room, nor in the study or in the lawn.

Iris knew exactly where to find him.

She climbed down the stairs to the basement; she got this room made for Edwin after the demise of Stella. He was so lonely with no one to share his sorrows with.

With Isabelle he only shared laughs and happiness so Iris made a small art room for him with canvases, stands, paints and brushes so that he can come down and do what he did years ago when he missed Stella.

He saw Iris coming but he continued with the brushes, his face hidden behind the canvas that he was painting, ignoring me completely.

"Edwin we need to talk." Iris said firmly folding her hands around the chest.

"I know" he said easily, his voice depriving of any emotions, his hands working with the blend of colors that he picked from the palate.

"Edwin this is serious." Iris was loud for the first time expecting him to reply in his same furious tone that he used on me these days.

He left his brush and stepped towards Iris.

"Say" he muttered softly, his breath brushing her earlobes making her heart miss a beat.

For the first time in couple of years was his tone soft and appeasing.

"Edwin..." Iris paused taking all the courage to utter the words that she had suppressed in my heart but did not have the courage to speak "I am sorry. I know I can never take back what I have done to you, to us but I do admit that given another life, under similar circumstances, heavens forbid I will repeat it again. I am so sorry." Iris bit her lips to stop words coming out in sob.

I have to be strong. I have to do this.

"But there is one thing that neither of us can ignore. We did that for Stella and Stella loved Isa. She even..." Iris swallowed the big bile in her throat "she even died to save Isabelle. She loved her so much."

"She loved her," Edwin added. "She loved her more than she loved me."

"No she loved you a lot. I can say." Iris tried to defend Stella.

Then realizing what she was here for and since Edwin was listening for the first time, Iris had to say what she was here for or his cold replacement would come over again.

"She wanted to give Isabelle a happy family and with what happened today, I think that desire of Stella would never be fulfilled." Iris said not looking at Edwin uncertain about his reaction.

"What do I do then?" he yelled.

Iris shrugged saying "You can hate me as much as you want but..."

He held her from shoulders, his grip tight enough to hurt as he pulled Iris making her look at his eyes which were not furious; they were confused.

"Hate you... tell me how do I hate you Iris? Tell me? I tried to hate you. I told myself Stella didn't fight her disease because she had YOU.' He stressed on the last word and then loosened the painful grip.

Iris's hands brushed the place he held tight to rub away the pain.

But her eyes and ears focused on the man who was her legally wedded husband.

For the first time the authority of his voice made me realize he was my husband

"I want to hate you because you agreed to sleep with me. I want to hate you because you loved me even when you knew I was married and you could never have me. I tried to hate you." His voice soft now and his hands closed to her, his fingers brushing her cheeks for a second and then he moved the strand hair on the face behind her ears.

He moved closer giving a short peck on her shoulder saying "I could never hate you."

He pulled her close, Iris's eyes focused on the pink paint on her toes; her heart beating wildly as if it would crash out of the ribcage as he said "I respect you for all the things you did that I wanted to hate you for."

Iris was forced up to see if she was hearing it from the same person, if it was Edwin and she gasped with what she felt; his cherry lips touching the skin between her neck and shoulder.

With those words her body stiffened and the place where his lips touched made a shot of electricity pass through her body

Iris tried to swallow the feeling, she tried to think, to believe she was dreaming when his lips touched her neck again releasing another shot of electricity in her entire body.

"I still like you" and he lifted his head only to put back on her neck to nibble it and say "I try to hate you when you bite your lips when a smile comes to your lips whenever I come into your vision."

His another peck on her nape brought shrills to her body as he added "I need you."

He trailed tiny kisses between her neck and shoulders saying with each kiss "I need you, I cannot hurt you" and finally he added "I couldn't help but love you" this time his lips crashed to hers.

It was like soul meeting the divine, all the parts of Iris's body, my heart, my brain and my soul leaping into different directions, tiny erosions taking place all over her body each erupting into a brand new color making her moan out of pleasure.

Iris's body was on a continuous journey as it traveled to and fro from heaven to earth and then back to heaven but with that kiss on her lips, Iris was rooted on the place, his kiss was soft and subtle and then it went demanding as he bit her lower lip and Iris could do nothing but part them with a loud moan.

He lifted her in his arms and Iris felt like she was flying.

and yes I was!

As in the next spur Iris was laid on the bed of his room and his mouth exploring every inch and ell of her body.

Soon Edwin towered over her.
Iris was lying on the bed and his body parallel to her.

He started loving her slowly and softly.

Iris closed her yes; she couldn't leave them open.

Edwin was consummating their marriage and Iris was happy with it.

She gripped the sheets tightly.

She knew exactly what to do.

Iris could satisfy his physical needs but was burning inside.

Before Iris could react to it, she closed her eyes shut closing them to the harsh reality, and balled her fists tight, tighter to get cut on her palms from the nails.

I have to control myself

Damn I knew very well what a guy needs! A bit too much....

His face was ecstatic when he finished. His eyes shone with love but me.....