Chapter Twenty Six

H E A T

Friday, July 24th

Ruby bounces up and down in her chair as I steadily approach, body hunched forward. Hands grabbing at the lukewarm heat pack that's squished up on my desk.

Her eyes are wide and though I can tell she's about to burst from the anticipation she's careful not to say anything because Millie is sat close by. Instead she mimes the actions for tea making and I nod, taking the heat pack with me, following behind after a few short seconds.

It's obvious we're slinking off to gossip but with back pain that threatens to completely debilitate my entire existence and the microwave not far from sight I find I don't give a crap if it sets chins wagging or makes Millie hate me even more. Which is likely impossible at this point.

"So how did it go?" Ruby whispers as she makes us both a fresh cup of tea. Stirring in the milk slowly to stall for time. "What did Norine say?"

Back against the counter, my hands pressed into the folds of my tummy to alleviate the force of the menstrual cramps that have plagued me for most of the bloody day, I shrug with a drawn out sigh. "She didn't say much. I think she's surprised that I'm even interested, though she did say she had hoped to see my name amongst the others. Which is not what I had been expecting. At all."

"When do you find out?"

"Well she's put my name forward now 'officially'. Has sent all my details to the big wigs who'll decide my fate. I have a feeling they'll announce the winning candidate before the summer party. There's not much I can do now but wait. Though this pain might kill me before I ever find out," I wince. Body exhausted from fighting against mother nature and all it's fury.

Taking a trip to the ladies loo's to discover it had come a knocking two days earlier than normal. Not quite what I needed, especially not moments before such an important meeting with Norine and the possibility of a new office role hanging in the balance.

And so far no amount of painkillers or heat packs or steady breathing have helped. Louisa had suggested some light desk yoga which only made my back ache more. Left me wanting to curl up into the foetal position instead. Hug my insides to stop them from feeling like they might all spill out.

Ruby hands me over a steaming a mug, and grins. "It's just my humble opinion but you're a shoe in. Millie doesn't stand a chance."

"Careful. She's a lot more qualified than I am. Even if she does spend all day organising her Cat Fail gifs and pumping out twitter hashtags to the masses," I laugh. "I don't think we should under estimate her."

"True. She is sneaky. And untrustworthy. Can you imagine if we had a male editor? Sure she'd be under his desk by now."

"I'd rather not imagine!"

"I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you," Ruby smiles sweetly, which turns into a sympathetic knowing nod when I make it clear I'm hundred percent fed up and over the curse of being a woman.

"All I want to do is crawl into bed or run a scolding hot bath and not move for five days," I groan. "Until I feel human again, and not just some bloated, sweaty lump of sheer agony."

"Can't you get our early? Make up some excuse about needing to pop out for research?"

"I wish. Got to meet Dylan straight after work." It feels weird to say his name. And I think Ruby feels it too because she looks up at me with a mixture of shock and pity.

"Are you going to tell him about you and..." She covers her mouth to whisper. "Jack?"

I half nod. My mind rehearsing a speech I've been piecing together all week, since I invited and embraced Jack back into my world. Decided how wonderful it feels. How I've got to untangle myself from Dylan, once and for all. Put a stop to whatever it is we have and do it soon. With as little collateral damage as possible.

Because it's been an insanely tiring week. Dylan busy every day. Away on location. Text messages replacing real interactions. Far and few between. Which I'm grateful for as it's given me some time to work out just how I can put my foot down on the breaks without encountering too many terrible consequences.

Namely dodging the confession of my weekend spent in the arms of Jack. In bed for most of Sunday, only venturing out for snacks and supplies to provide fuel for our wildest moments. Pulling him in instead of pushing him away like before.

Jack lifting my sullen mood till I forgot all about Abbie and Dave. Dylan too, though that has become tellingly easier. Nothing crossing my mind except for the sensation of his touch and the warmth of his company. Setting my heart alight. Ribs still aching from laughter and so much more than I could have ever anticipated. Dreamt of.

His presence, passing through the third floor now a welcome distraction and a perk worth savouring. Though I have been conscious to still keep my feelings under wraps from everyone bar Ruby. At least for now. Until the dust has settled and I've completed my sincere desire to take Dylan out of the equation.

I hope we can remain friends. I hope that he won't be too blindsided by it all. That he'll respect my choices and not hate me for them. Even if I am embellishing most of them, hiding the real truth behind. I really don't intend to cause any hurt and I want to keep it that way.

One more lie then I can be free. That's why I've suggested neutral ground - the speakeasy club that has been postponed many times. So we can have a drink and talk. Meeting at his only to collect a t-shirt I know is still hanging over the radiator in the bathroom. One I'd quite like to get back should he decide he never wants to see my face again.

My go to plan is to blame work and myself. For not being as emotionally invested. Throw in the age gap if he doesn't quite believe me. Though this holds no real weight. My recent time with Jack proving that it's something I've wasted too much energy worrying about. How it doesn't really matter if everything else fits and feels right.

"I'm nervous about it," I confess as Ruby takes little sips of tea. "I just hope I've read the signs right. That's he's maybe not as interested either."

"You said he always talks about that other girl he works with... what's her name again?"

"Felicity."

"They've been spending a lot of time together haven't they? I mean I don't want to say it, or for it to be true but it might make it easier if they've... well if their into each other. Don't you think?"

As harsh as it sounds I agree with her. "He does talk about her an awful lot and I know she probably would given half the chance. Which I'm not even mad about. Can you believe that?"

"Well whatever happens at least you don't have to..." Ruby sighs, trying to squeeze out the rest of her words. "...lie anymore. That must be such a relief." Her eyes are cast down low. Like she can feel my inner conflict.

"Yeah. I guess. Though I'm not telling him about Jack. I wish it didn't have to be this way but it is. My fault entirely, I know."

"But it's because you don't want to hurt those you care about. I get that."

"You're much too nice to be a compulsive liar like me Rubs, trust me. I've turned it into an art form, evidently. I mean just look at the mess I'm in right now. Though I'm hoping I can come out the other side without too much damage," I reply, giving her a small nudge on the arm. "I am a cautionary tale to learn from if nothing else."

"Don't beat yourself up over it. We all do it. Someway or another," Ruby replies quietly. Hands wrapped round her mug, feet slowly tapping against the kitchen lino floor. Head bowed in contemplative thought, maybe thinking about those who have lied to her, made poor excuses. Her Dad. Her absent family.

"You're a sensitive little soul aren't you?"

"It's... just been a long day that's all. And I'm nervous for you too. You're much braver than I could ever be."

"I'm still a liar though aren't I? Not so brave if you think about it."

"You are," she replies firmly. "Owning up before it gets to out of hand."

"Think it's a bit late for that to be true. I'm not exactly owning up to anything because I'm a coward but thank you anyway. For listening. Letting me bend your ear with all this nonsense which I'm sure you'd rather not constantly hear about."

As I take the heat pack from out the microwave and rest it against my spine, she smiles at me. And I think I see little tears well in the corner of her eyes but she quickly looks away before I can be sure.

"Ruby, you alright?"

"Just tired. Late night."

Her voice is low. Somethings not quite right but she's already heading back out to the office before I can press her any further.

Deftly she changes the subject. "So you got any lunch plans today?"

"Apart from wanting to eat every piece of chocolate in sight and sorting out a last minute feature? Not really," I joke sarcastically, though the first doesn't sound to testing. "I've got to 'prove' that I can take on responsibility and manage my time better."

Ruby scrunches her face. "Need any help?"

"Maybe this afternoon. Got to work on some new pitches for features, show Norine that I'm serious about the position, maybe win some brownie points. Problem is I've no idea what on earth to put forward. Millie's already got her wheels turning, PR mates on the phone to try and win over the runner up to that cook off TV show."

"Can you pitch anything?"

I nod. "Well anything that will boost readership and traffic to the sight. Unfortunately Ryan Gosling isn't on speaking terms with me. Yet."

As Ruby giggles into her hand I pop a couple more painkillers for good measure.

"So you need a celebrity, someone that's a big deal," she says in a contemplative tone. Finger resting against her chin, lips pursed together. "Preferably a guy right? Semi-good looking."

"Preferably not opposed to getting their kit off - for the click-bait of course."

"Wait. I've got it!" she gasps, eyes lighting up. "I know how I can help you bag that new position. Hands down. Seriously!"

"I'm all ears."

Ruby steps forward and pokes her head round the doorframe, scans the office until she's made sure there's no eavesdroppers within sight. Then she shuffles over and whispers the name Fisher Scott, excitement filling her voice.

"The actor?" I reply hesitantly. "Your sisters fella?"

"Yeah who else?" Ruby grins. "Think about it: Violet and him are still together. All loved up and back in the country. Plus Norine - she'd probably pass out with joy. After she's given you the job of course. Which she one hundred percent will if you get an interview with him for the site."

The girl is a genius.

"And he's got a new film coming out, if you got some kind of exclusive before La Belle get there hands on him then Norine will probably give you her job. She'll be made up."

"But we have to get him to agree first, well actually his 'people'. Isn't he notoriously hard to pin down and picky with who he gives interviews too?" I say, though I've already bought into the idea hook line and sinker. My chest lifting. This could really be the boost I need.

She shrugs. "I'll speak to Violet. Twist her arm then get her to twist his. From the sounds of it he's a like a little puppy dog. I'm sure he'll agree to whatever she says. Plus the press will be good for him too and you guys have already met, haven't you?"

I don't need reminding, the guys a slimy snake but I can push my personal dislike aside for professionalisms sake. If it means I can actually present something worthy of merit to Norine. Make her fall off her chair from the shock of it.

As I picture her face lit up in surprise, Ruby nudges my arm. "So you want me to try and arrange something?"

"You'd really go out of your way to do this for me? Won't it mean having to speak to Violet," I reply grimacing. "Or worse, actually having to see her?"

"I don't mind. If it helps you wipe that smug grin off Millie's face, stops her from treating you like shit then I am all for it!"

"You're the best Rubs. Really. Maybe you should be the one running for the new position. You're a hell of a lot smarter that's for sure," I smile, ruffling her hair gently. "I'd be happy to have you as a boss."

"Stop it." She's blushing, acting all bashful. Cheeks the colour of her name.

"Really though I'm grateful. The title of Best Intern Ever is now dutifully yours."

"I don't know about that..."

"Trust me, you're really helping me out here."

Finishing off her tea, Ruby shrugs again. "When will you need to present to Norine?"

"Next week. Thursday latest, gives me a bit of leeway ahead of the summer get together. Hopefully it might get me in her good graces before she chats to the big wigs."

"Maybe I can get Fisher to mine," she replies. "Louisa's doing the activewear shoot at the apartment because the photographer's studio's been double booked."

"She is?"

Ruby nods. "Yeah. I suggested mine as a last minute option. It's big enough. Lots of room to set up. Big windows-"

"Natural light," I sigh jokily. "Sounds like a good plan. Are you gonna lend a hand too?"

"I'll be there for most of the day. If I speak to Violet I'm sure she can rope him into coming over too. Kills two birds with one stone," she grins.

"That would be absolutely bloody perfect."

Walking to the sink to rinse her mug out Ruby laughs. "Fingers crossed."

"Ah shit," I say slowly. The relief of such a plan parting to bring in the reality of just what I've still got to do.

"What?"

"I've actually got to do some work now haven't I? Write up sample questions. Do research on that smug bastard. Get prepared," I'm laughing as Ruby rolls her eyes in sympathy.

"Just let him talk about himself. He's vain. He'll love it."

"Another brilliant idea. You're on a roll today."

"Just happy to help."

"And you have. Lifted a big weight off my shoulders," I tell her quietly as Millie slinks past. Eyes us both up with disgust.

Ruby catches the look too and we both slowly make our way back into the office. I give her a light high-five as we come to our desks.

"I'll give Violet a call now," she says taking her phone. "In the meeting room. So no one can hear of course."

Best Intern Ever, I mouth, giving her a little wink as she walks off.

Checking my phone because I can't bring myself to trawl through the emails I've amassed since our kitchen trip I'm ecstatic to find one from Jack.

The thrill of it. Both of us too busy to sneak out for lunch but not down to the post room. Where he's asked me to meet him in twenty minutes.

And though we have agreed to take things slow. I still find that I'm excited to see him though it's only been a handful of hours since I woke up beside him. Swapping my bed for his. Twenty Four hours spent in his company - a first which I have thoroughly enjoyed and reaped the benefits of.

I could definitely get used to it.

When I see him pass, to head for the stairs Millie perks up beside me though she's got a look of confusion on her face. I'm sure she's noticed that his shirt pocket no longer has a cigarette packet poking out. And that she can't make sense of it. Slinking off downstairs twice a day hoping to catch him there. Praying he might have cracked, given in. But he hasn't much to my surprise but great admiration.

An effort of trust that I'm hoping I can reciprocate very soon. So I'll no longer feel like a big old hypocrite. So I can sleep easier. With a sound mind. Start a new.

And it's scary and I've no certainty that it'll all work out with Jack but I'm willing to try, without any distractions. Moving forwards. A brave new world I'm stepping into, that I am hopeful to embrace with arms fully open. With a clear conscious.

When minutes have passed and I've dosed myself up with paracetamol, the pain finally subsiding I take flight down the stairs. My breath speeding up as I approach the post room. Bob out for late lunch.

Jack's sorting through some mail absentmindedly until I lightly rap my knuckles on the door. He jumps a little. I know he's being trying to be careful like I am. To keep us under wraps for a while. Knowing it's not worth encountering the wrath of Millie and all the gossiping folk we're surrounded by daily. Keeping it simple whilst still fanning the flames.

As I step forwards closing the door hard, flipping the lock, Jack tosses the mail and closes the thin gap between us, to kiss me with wild abandon.

"I've wanted to do that all day. You've no idea," he sighs, taking my hand to brush it against his face.

"It's only been a few hours," I tease. Which is true, since I woke up in his bed. Bathed in sunlight. The memory of his bare back etched in my mind. The feeling of waking up beside him and not wanting to leave a turning point. Content in the knowledge that I've not over stayed my welcome. Because he wants me there.

Jack grins. "I know but I've been having cravings all morning. Real bad."

Squeezing his hand I pull it back, rising up to tenderly kiss him with the same intensity and longing. "Better?"

"A little. I dunno. Maybe try again?"

I playfully smack his arm, pulling away though his hands round my back keep me close. "You can't be too greedy. Otherwise you'll get bored too quickly."

"Could never happen," he grins. "Trust me."

Running my hands across his jaw I sigh. "We just have to be careful. Millie's on the warpath with me as it is right now. Don't think I can deal with how she'll react when she finds out... about this."

"Us?" Jack replies. "It's none of her business. Sure she'll survive. Get over it."

"You under estimate the effect you have on the ladies in this building."

"The only one I care about is you."

As his lips stir against mine, I squeeze the muscular outline beneath the fabric of his white shirt. All of it tight and stretched. My stomach flips with the desire to rip it off. Right here in the post room.

The thrill of it all.

"Fancy sacking the rest of the day off? Catch the bus back to mine to finish off what we started this morning?" Jack suggests, cheekiness spreading across his face. Eyes lighting up with the many possible outcomes such a plan could produce.

He must know I'm thinking about them too. Cheeks lightly rosy. The heat building.

"As much as I'd love to I've got a lot to finish off. To keep the boss happy," I sigh.

"Maybe later on then? I should be back from Tim's stag do a little earlier than originally planned," Jack replies, still holding me. Nuzzling my neck in between pauses. His stubble ticklish.

"That's tonight?"

He nods. "Was supposed to be tomorrow but Adam's taken over organising because I've not had much time recently. His wife's pregnant. Could be any day now so he's swapped the dates. Going for a curry, maybe a couple of pints.'

"Sounds very tame. I'm surprised."

"I'm happier for it. Means I get to see you which I hope will be anything but tame."Jack bites down on his bottom lip, eyes locked to mine.

"Oh really..."

I'm so turned on but unfortunately so aware that I can't engage in whatever he's hoping for. Not right now. Still it doesn't mean he can't benefit from it.

"I'll give you a call once I'm back at mine. That's if you want to come over."

"Course." Mentally I'm working out how I can fit in drinks with Dylan, the inevitable talk I'm still so nervous about and get over to Jack's. It's not ideal but I'll just have to be smart with my time.

"Any other plans tonight?" he asks between stolen kisses.

One last big lie before I give it up for good. "Uh... might go round to Louisa's for a bit. Not sure."

Jack takes me for my word. Obviously unable to sniff out the guilt lodged in my throat as I wrap my hands round his neck. Bodies pushed together. His hardness making me flustered.

"We can't do this here..." I quietly whisper, though there's nothing I'd enjoy more.

He places a finger over my mouth.

"Will you stay over Saturday night?" he whispers back, biting my lip. "There's somewhere I'd love to take you."

"Where?" I reply breathless as he works his way down to the opening of my blouse. A hand running up my thigh. My eyes aware that there's very little separating us from the other side of the door.

Jack caresses under my skirt, hands warm. Tender. "Now that would be telling wouldn't it. It's a surprise."

I love how he's so aware and confident, knowing with expert finesse just how to light my fire.

Sensing that his hands want to travel further, I mumble back that I can't. Hoping he'll know what I mean without having to say the word.

"No one comes down here. Not if the doors shut," he replies with assurance. "And I saw you lock it."

"It's not that... it's the timing. Specifically this time. Of the month."

Still tenderly caressing my bare skin, he pulls his lips away from mine and nods. My stomach sinks because I don't want him to stop, not really.

"There are ways around that," he grins.

"Jack!"

Laughing he shakes his head. "I didn't mean that. Jesus Jem."

When he bows his head low I expect his wandering hands to fall away too. But they stay.

"I meant like this" he says kissing my neck again. Fingers multitasking, my blouse falling open. His mouth dipping low until he's lost under the silky fabric. "Feel good?"

I'm sure my sharp gasps and moans say more than words ever could. Hot desire rippling through my thighs in spite of my predicament.

"And this?" Jack says, voice husky. Hands still gentle, light as a feather as they trace circles between my thighs, over my knickers. Fingertips like tiny electric sparks. Though he's barely touching me. Not really. Not like normal.

Not that I'm complaining. Encouraging him to continue because this is a completely new experience I don't want to end. My body responding to his touch still, in spite of the lack of usual firm contact.

Palm against my building ecstasy. Aching for sweet release.

"That's what I meant," He whispers before pulling away. "Still other ways but think we should save that for later."

I try and straighten my back but my legs feel weak. "I didn't ask you to stop."

"Bob will be back soon. Probably best we don't give him an early heart attack," Jack replies, a grin etched across his lips. "We've been gone a while too. The lads will start to ask questions."

"Suppose." I jokingly pout, pulling my skirt down. Fingertips tingling. "If I must wait..."

Planting light kisses along my exposed shoulders he slowly buttons my blouse back up. "Can't lie. It pains me to do this."

"Then don't."

"Please don't say things like that. It's gonna take me a while to be able to walk up the bloody stairs. Might have to take one of those big parcels just to have something to hide behind."

"Would make a nice surprise, I know I enjoy it..." I giggle. "You're full of them."

Brushing back my hair, Jack taking my hand as I wobble about unsteady on my feet, body still aching with frustration I ask again what he's got in store for tomorrow night.

Hoping I can distract him enough to unzip his trousers. He doesn't fall for it. Instead he gently pushes back my eager hand, burying those damn eyes into mine.

"It's just one of many."

A hand firmly on the base of my spine, Jack passes me a small heap of junk mail before he unlocks the door. Pushing me gently out while he waits so it doesn't look too obvious. Though my cheeks are red and hair a mess.

"Oh really?" I whisper as I check that the coast is clear. Not wanting to tear myself away.

"There's plenty of surprises left to come, Jem. Don't you worry."

. . .