YMMD // 13
☁️☀️☁️

the next morning tasted bittersweet for jihoon as he wakes up with soonyoung's face nuzzled into his neck. he smiles, basking the familiar warmth he feels whenever he wakes up next to his friend. an array of white clouds are high up amid the blue and it reminds jihoon that there could still be better days.

jihoon slowly feels cold on the side of his neck as soonyoung starts to whimper and pull on his shirt to keep him close. as if he's going to drift away from him anytime soon. the boy is crying in his sleep, and he badly needs jihoon's warmth to tell him that he won't ever lose another person in his life again. "soonyoung," the younger one hums, "it's only a dream."

"am i going to lose you too?"

"no," jihoon simply answers, "i'm not letting that happen."

"really, hoonie?"

"yes, baby. i'll protect you until sundown and lay with you until sunrise, okay?" jihoon plants a kiss on his friend's forehead. soonyoung feels like he's melting. he hates how jihoon calls him baby and means it platonically, it's like his feelings are getting played. but he hears the sincerity in jihoon's voice. and he loves that.

"i'm sorry about last night, i wasn't in the right mind. i guess i'm just really desperate to feel loved," soonyoung mumbles while jihoon just hums in response as he continues to play with soonyoung's hair. then he remembers that they actually kissed. the thing is, jihoon doesn't really like soonyoung in that way. and he believes that soonyoung feels the same. they're just friends and it will always be like that.

honestly, being busy for the past few days made him realize how much he misses being with soonyoung. how much he misses to laugh with the boy with crescent eyes and a soft aura. he never knew that soonyoung has been dealing with a lot of stress lately (especially now that he just got kicked out of his own home) and he wants to make things light for him, to also make up for all the days he left him alone.

"i'm sorry," soonyoung repeats, snapping jihoon out of his thoughts. the moment he does, his eyes completely fall on the boy's lips- which is probably his new favorite thing.

fuck, he's your friend! jihoon tells himself. he shouldn't really be thinking so much about what happened to them last night, but it can't be helped. given that he spends so much time seeing soonyoung talk or smile, it would drive anyone to think that he knows every single thing that there is to know about soonyoung's lips, even just the slightest curve. but honestly, he had never imagined how warm and soft they would feel against his own.

"jihoon, are you listening to me?"

"w-what?"

soonyoung pouts, and jihoon couldn't help but to look at his lips once more. then he slaps himself mentally. "you must be thinking about a lot right now," soonyoung mutters as he pulls away from jihoon to get up. the latter frowns as he sees the bruises mapped all over soonyoung's skin. someone so beautiful doesn't deserve to be hurt that much.

"hey," jihoon sits up "i love you."

soonyoung looks at him for a few seconds. he's happy to hear jihoon saying it first and pouring all warmth on him, but at the same time it hurts. all the warmth won't last long. the sun will always set.

"i love you, jihoon."

the boy drags himself to the bathroom to wash his face. he shivers as the running water comes in contact with his hands. water splashes all over his face and he looks at himself on the mirror for a moment. you look so tired, he tells himself, the corners of his mouth trying to pull up a forced curve. he finishes up quickly then rushes downstairs, seeing jihoon sitting on the kitchen counter with a bowl of cereal.

"i wanted to cook, but i got too lazy. hope you like cereals."

"i'm not hungry," soonyoung replies and takes a seat

"you didn't eat dinner last night. you completely changed the topic of eating by asking for a favor and ran away with it."

"because it tasted better than food."

silence suddenly dominates the room. soonyoung wants to slap himself for what he just said while jihoon's face flushes red. both of them choose to stay tight lipped as if they're both waiting for each other to break the ice. jihoon clears his throat and tries to play it off by joking, "i'm such a good kisser."

but soonyoung sees it as an opportunity to be honest with the boy, "yeah, you had me begging."

now the tension between them is real. jihoon does his best to avoid soonyoung's eyes. "this is so awkward," he chuckles, then soonyoung apologizes for making him feel uncomfortable. the topic eventually changes, until jihoon reminds his friend that seungcheol is coming over for a practice. the school festival is tomorrow.

soonyoung doesn't mind. it's not like he has a choice though. first off, jihoon owns the house. second, it's just a practice. nothing to be jealous about. he'll be completely fine with his journal.

☁️☀️☁️

at 3pm, seungcheol arrives. his brows raise upon seeing soonyoung curled up and asleep at the corner of the couch. "he lives here now, i forgot to say," jihoon chuckles, "you can stay there for a bit while i go get stuff upstairs." seungcheol nods and takes a seat next to soonyoung. he eyes the sleeping boy and sees the journal just resting beside. he makes sure jihoon is still upstairs before he decides to take soonyoung's leather notebook, so he leans to go a bit atop the boy.

the moment he moves the book, soonyoung's eyes open and he sees seungcheol leaning on him. the boy's first intention was to scream and seungcheol knew that so he immediately places one hand on soonyoung's mouth and harshly grabs his arm on the other.

"don't you dare scream," seungcheol whispers through gritted teeth. soonyoung winces at how tight the boy is holding his bruised arm, and seungcheol notices right away. he laughs, "you're such a fucking wimp, aren't you, soonyoung?"

"don't touch me!" the younger one says

"what's that?"

"stop this," soonyoung mutters "please."

seungcheol presses harder and soonyoung winces in pain, "why would you even want me to let go? don't you like it when you get touched by other boys? why pitch a fit about it?"

a familiar voice rings in soonyoung's ear.

don't you like it when you get touched by other boys?

he closes his eyes and sees his father's face with raw anger, making his arms lose tension and his legs weaken.

you're such a fucking wimp, aren't you, soonyoung?

the people around him- they're all the same. and things will always repeat itself. he needs to accept that it will always be this way, that he will always wake up to a bright sky only to drown five thousand feet into heartbreak again and again. the heavy weight of fear in his chest will never leave, sitting there, biting its tongue and whimpering at every sound that escapes its mouth.

seungcheol smiles and runs a finger down soonyoung's cheek, making him flinch, "i never realized that you look pretty attractive, by the way. i'll pay, wanna suck me off?"

"i'm not a fucking prostitute, seungcheol. go fuck yourself."

"how about i kiss you first? wouldn't you like that? harlot?" seungcheol asks with a grin. soonyoung shakes his head when the older boy holds him down to dive into his face. "stay still goddamnit!" the older boy hisses, forcing soonyoung to face him, but the latter keeps moving with pursed lips. he believes he doesn't deserve to be ostracized and harassed like this because of ignorance and hatred. is it this bad to not be accepted by society? is he really going to live a full life running away from himself?

it didn't take too long before they start hearing footsteps down the stairs. seungcheol lets go of soonyoung and acts like nothing happened, while the latter buries his head on his knees and starts to cry. "youngie!" jihoon places his guitar down and hugs the boy, "are you okay?"

"j-just a bad dream," soonyoung mumbles. he lied again. all because his fear refuses to talk itself out loud and thinks it'd be better to just scream in silence.

the younger boy frowns and helps him get up, "come on, you can rest in my room." jihoon takes his friend to his bedroom and tucks him to bed, sighing. he's really worried about soonyoung. when he's about to step away, the boy grabs his hand. "ji, please. know who you're giving your heart to."

jihoon nods and plants a kiss on soonyoung's forehead, "i will."

"you shouldn't be babysitting soonyoung like that. he's older than you."
jihoon only furrows his brows at seungcheol's statement.