YMMD // 10
☁️☀️☁️

the two boys slowly sink under the covers. jihoon has a lot jarring inside his head- there is a gush of words that he wants to say but nothing could ever make it across the floodgate. soonyoung, on the other hand, feels tense with how jihoon's soul is only a few inches away from his grasp. the light in his eyes pulls him closer, and drags him to want to explore the things he couldn't understand; things he wouldn't understand until he rockets straight to the horizon made only for the two of them.

just like that, they lay side by side in silence. until jihoon finally decides to break the ice. he mutters, "i'm sleepy. and i know this won't be a long talk, but have i ever told you how much i love you?"

soonyoung closes his eyes, "you don't really have to say it. i already know you do."

"even so. i love you, soonyoung. you're the greatest friend i have."

soonyoung feels his heart get crushed bit by bit. here he is again, wondering why he even fell for jihoon in the first place. it can just be so tiring sometimes to have jihoon say i love you and making it seem like he's just politely implying that there's no way they could be together. why does it feel so wrong to love your friend in a completely different way? soonyoung wishes he could find the answer.

jihoon doesn't realize how much of soonyoung's love is getting wasted. it has been years since soonyoung fell for the boy who played piano while the summer rain played music on the roof. now they're still here, and he loves his friend more and more each day. soonyoung doesn't want to admit that all his affection is going to waste though, because he thinks that pouring it all on the boy he really adores is worth it. his love isn't getting wasted at all. it still feels new, all because it's just never been used.

soonyoung turns his head and finds out that jihoon is already asleep. that's when his tears finally start rolling down his cheeks. he covers his mouth to not make a sound, and forces his eyes shut. jihoon snuggles closer to him, and he lets his hand go softly through the boy's hair.

"do you hear that, ji?" he chuckles bitterly and bites his lower lip, "that's my heart falling apart day by day. but it's only mine. it's not like it matters, right?"

he covers his mouth again as he continues to cry to not make a sound, but his soft whimpers are loud enough to wake jihoon up. the boy rubs his eyes, and the first thing he sees is his friend crying with his eyes shut closed. the cries were stifled at first as soonyoung attempted to hide his grief, then there goes the wave of his emotions that breaks him down entirely. jihoon panics, "soonyoung! soonyoung are you alright?" he sits up quickly and gives the boy a hug. that's the moment soonyoung decides to just let things fall apart. "jihoon i-i'm so sorry."

"ssshh," jihoon holds him tighter, "just cry it all out for now."

"no, i feel like i really have to apologize, please forgive me."

"what is it? did you have a bad dream or something?" jihoon pulls away for a bit to wipe the tears off soonyoung's face "tell me everything."

"i don't know how to start, and i'm not sure i'm ready," soonyoung cries. jihoon lets out a sigh and hugs him tightly again, letting his hand gently slide down the boy's back. "promise me you'll tell me when you're ready, okay?"

"jihoon, i love you," the boy's voice cracks "i just hope you'd love me too?"

"what are you saying?" jihoon chuckles "of course i love you! are you worried that i'll leave? cause heck no, i wouldn't, ever. no one could take you away from me."

"even seungcheol?"

"...seungcheol?" jihoon's eyebrows furrow for a bit, and he laughs "soonyoung, i swear, is this about him again? look, i may be head over heels for him but i'm not letting that guy take all my time."

"d-do you think he likes you? be honest with me."

"yes, i think he does."

soonyoung bites his lip, "....okay then. i-i'm going to sleep now." he pulls away from the hug and drags the blanket to cover himself while jihoon just watches. why is soonyoung acting so weird lately? especially with seungcheol? does he not like the boy for me? he wonders, but decides to let the thought slip off again. he lays down next to his friend, tossing and turning to find a comfortable spot, until he decides to ask.

"can i hug you?"

soonyoung almost chokes on air, "w-what?"

"come on," jihoon laughs "i just want to feel comfortable." soonyoung hesitates to open his arms, but he does so anyway. and jihoon dives in like a little kid.