FELIX

After reuniting with my friends, it is only right I complete it by making Agnes forgive me. That's if she ever agrees to talk to me.

Nonetheless, I take a leap of faith to visit her at home in the evening. After a hesitant knock on the door that goes unanswered, after I virtually catch cold feet and after I decide to return back home, giving up, aunty Cherry finally opens the door all dressed up in formal clothes.

"What are you doing here?" She casts a serious glare at me. It's not exactly as furious as before but it doesn't seem she's delighted to welcome me in.

"I know you don't want me here, but I just need to speak with Agnes. Please."

"Did you think after making her cry, you've got any right to see her?!"

What! Did she really cry for my sake?

Focus, boy! "Aunt, I know I wronged her, that's why I'm here. I want to apologize. She deserves an explanation from me."

"Why should I let you inside if you're only going to lie to her all over again?"

Oh Agnes, now is a good time to come outside, I beg of you. I know you're in there and you can hear me at the door. Please... talk to me before aunty Cherry drives me out of here.

"Felix, I want you to get out right now."

She might as well pull my arm and force me out of the house like a street beggar. I glance inside and thankfully, Agnes walks right towards us at the front.

"Aunt, I'll talk to him."

I exhale heavily. What a relief and in the nick of time too. Agnes stares determinedly for a good minute that I begin to feel like I might combust in flames.

Aunty Cherry sees how inclined she is to finally have this conversation. "Why are you even out here?"

"Please, let me talk to him. I want to hear what he has to say for himself."

"Five minutes! I'm giving you only five minutes and you're out of here." With the last withering look left in her towards me, she turns back blue in the face.

"I'm—"

"Before you say anything, I want you to have it at the back of your mind that I won't let myself be fooled by you again. You may have deceived me once, it's not going to happen twice. And if you were going to ask for my forgiveness, don't bother because I don't intend to hold a grudge against anyone."

That is quite the lecture and a momentous one for that matter. Has she really developed a cold heart? I realize her energetic smile has drained from her face, and now all I see is a girl who will annihilate whoever dares to hurt her feelings. I also try to understand what she meant by that last sentence. "Does it mean you have forgiven me?" I ask.

"No," she says firmly.

I sigh. I guess that went well. "I'm just glad you decided to talk to me. That alone is enough."

"Don't you play that card. You think you can go all sentimental with me so my feelings towards you will change?"

I hang my mouth open. "Is that what you really think of me? That is an unfair thing to say... and you're not entirely wrong. Is it working? I guess not. Sorry."

"I don't think you're sorry yet, and I know what you're doing. But I'm not like all of the girls you dated before. Get that in your head. Well, since you're satisfied that I decided to save you from getting kicked out, you can go home now."

What a brilliant way to end a conversation. Not even my charm will work on her at this point. I better go straight to the reason I'm here in the first place. "The inter-house competition starts next week. I don't mind if you don't support my house but I hope you'll be there."

Once again, "go home," she says, then without ado, she goes inside and shuts the door.

*

"Focus! What are you doing, Felix?!" Our coach barks at me from the side-lines.

Even in the middle of football practice, I'm still disturbed about my current situation. It gets so bad I miss easy shots, can't tackle the opposing team accurately let alone show off my skills.

I stop chasing after the ball, rather, I run where he poses at the corner of the field, fatigued and out of gas.

"What's going on with you?"

"I'm sorry. I've been having sleep disorders for a while now."

"That's not my problem! Pull yourself together and get your game straight, or else I will send a substitute to replace you."

If only he knew that's the least of my problems. "Sir, can I just go now? I'm already wiped out."

He doesn't say another word but his face spells out how disappointed he is in me. Big surprise. I'm more disappointed in myself than anybody else. He turns his head away and I assume that as my cue to leave.

I jog to where my backpack is, take out a bottle of water and empty it in my mouth. Soon after, Xian appears in front of me.

"You okay there?"

"I'm perfectly fine. If there was someone who's perfectly fine, that will be me. Actually, you can call me, Mr. Perfectly Fine."

"This self-mockery wasn't necessary, you know right?"

"Why does it matter?"

"It does. This isn't the time for you to lose your confidence. Can't you see that you're the hope your house has to win in the competition? Your emotions shouldn't make you lose focus."

"What is the point? This entire competition will mean nothing to me if Agnes is not there to see it and since she clearly stated that she won't be part, why should I bother?" I head out towards the locker rooms to change into regular clothes and Xian follows me.

"Agnes is going to forgive you sooner or later."

"I know what I did, and now, it has come to bite me in the ass – and as for Agnes forgiving me, I doubt sooner, I think I'll go for much later."

"She's not a robot. She has her conscience and a good heart."

"But what I did to her is unjustifiable. In reality, maybe I actually deserve all of this, considering the hearts I must've broken in the past."

"My goodness, Felix! Do you seriously think it's your dating history that is causing what's going on with you right now?"

"Can you give me another reason?"

He pauses for a moment. "Yeah. You may have a point. But is it worth punishing yourself?"

I giggle cynically. "That is funny because I'm not even punishing myself. The universe and all the cosmoses are punishing me for my mistake."

"That is why it's a mistake. It can be corrected." He stops me from walking. "We're humans, we all make mistakes, but what you do afterwards is what describes who you truly are. And I know you, Felix, you are not a coward."

My head droops stiffly. I definitely do not want to be called a coward. Is giving myself space to grieve my friendship cowardly? Nah, I disagree. He might understand lots of things but he does not know what I'm actually going through.

"What is going to happen to your house then if you lose hope now?"

"Who cares? I don't care. Do you care?"

"Felix, I understand your concerns. But can you for once think about yourself first?"

"That's exactly what I did when striking the bet. I only thought of myself."

He jumps in front to block my path. "Whatever has happened to that carefree Felix that can do what he wants without thinking needs to go."

"Too bad because he's changed. That Felix was the one who hurt Agnes. I have no intention of bringing him back."

"So why should you suffer the consequences of a mistake the past Felix made?"

I turn my eyes to look away. Xian, for as long as I can remember has always been so diplomatic and tactful when choosing his advice to always counter every argument I raise.

He holds my shoulder. "You deserve better."

I hold his hand on my shoulder. "You're a good friend, Xian. I appreciate you very much."

"If you need my help, I'm here for you."

"If you help me with Agnes, I would appreciate that more." I walk ahead, leaving him behind.

AGNES

"Why did you bring me here?" I ask Yvonne and Tessa.

After lying to my face, saying they want to take me somewhere I will relax and get my mind off things, only to bring me to the garage. How can they be so unfair?

"It's been a while since you last painted," Tessa says.

"We suppose you might want to do something creative," Yvonne adds.

Oh, come on! Really?

"Do I look depressed? Have I had any symptom of bipolar? I don't even get mood swings."

Tessa and Yvonne just stand and stare at me as if what I'm saying doesn't make any sense.

"Look, I'm really okay," I try to assure them.

"We are your friends. You know you can tell us anything," Yvonne says.

"I'm fine, okay! Painting or doing anything isn't the solution. I'll still feel the same."

They eventually withdraw with a sad sigh.

Yvonne turns to Tessa. "You know, I sometimes wish that stuff never happened. Truly, we were too good friends to have a problem like this."

Suddenly, I sight Xian and Felix coming close to the garage. In panic, my heart starts to beat out of my chest. I struggle to keep a normal face as they walk even nearer. "I wanna go home now, please."

Tessa raises an eyebrow. "You aren't having an episode right now, are you?"

"Are you freaking kidding me?"

Xian and Felix finally step inside before I realize it and the girls make out why I abruptly wanted to leave.

"Didn't expect you'd be here," Felix says.

"What are you doing here?" Yvonne asks.

"We came to check the place, buy what we will need before we officially open," Xian responds and casts his gaze on me, "that is if Agnes is still interested in working with us."

Just great!

I haven't given much attention to our business plan because I've been so involved with myself and my feeling. With all this drama happening, I have become short-sighted to remember that there are responsibilities in my hands.

"If you want, we can leave and come back later, since we're not in a hurry," Felix speaks, but his eyes fix themselves towards me.

I think he knows that I know what he's trying to do. He wants to make me anxious. He succeeds though because I try my best to avoid his gaze.

"Wrong timing. You shouldn't have come here, as you can see." Tessa looks pointedly at me.

"You can't always be popping around Agnes all the time. You know she is still moody," Yvonne adds, of course.

"Yeah, obviously. She's still angry at Felix," Xian also adds his part, talking about me like I'm not here.

"I'm still here, you guys," I say, affronted by the obvious. "In fact, don't bother. I'm going home anyway. You can stay if you want."

* # * #

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