FELIX

The next morning starts off with sweet dreams and pleasant memories until I remember going back home to my stepdad. A nauseating feeling wakes me up and causes my stomach to growl.

Or is that just me feeling hungry?

I turn to my right. Xian is still sleeping soundly. The alarm clock behind says it is 6:35am, and I know it buzzes off by seven o'clock on Sundays. Before that happens, I should better get myself ready for what's to come.

I enter the bathroom to wash my morning face, fix my messy hair, and release my bladder from the weighty pressure. As soon as I walk out the bathroom door, the alarm buzzes off, but Xian is already out of bed.

The awkward morning starts off pretty quickly.

"You woke up before your alarm."

"Uh-huh," he answers neutrally. While carrying a stoic face, he goes to turn off the alarm, then returns to his wardrobe to continue sorting out his clothes for the day. "You slept well it seems. Of course you did."

"It almost felt like I didn't wanna wake up at all. But you, I'm sure you slept well, too, yeah?"

"Except your constant nudging in the middle of the night, I would have said yes. And yeah, you should get ready to go home. We don't have all day."

"Ouch! How charming! That's really welcoming of you."

He doesn't pay any attention to me any longer, which makes me smile a bit. I know he said that to make me feel bad due to my sleeping habits. It's not my fault I don't sleep comfortably when I'm not on my bed.

"Why do I feel you don't want me here?" I jest.

He gives me no answer, not even a reaction. He just keeps doing what he's doing as if no one is around him. This is what I've never understood about Xian. Sunday mornings always bring out his vilest traits. That's when his mood disorders are at its peak.

I noticed it few years ago after the death of his mother. Everything surrounding that subject, I deliberately stay clear of, so I don't know much about it. Perhaps, he lost his mom on a Sunday, I'm not sure, but sometimes I wish he can spare me from being a victim of his distress.

*

About one hour later, we come out of the room and we find an empty house, surprising as it is.

"It's just us in here. Where's your dad?"

"What do you think?"

Overlooking his cheekiness, I still go for a smile. "I guess we should head out then."

"Yeah. Let me get my bicycle." He treads to the back door with shuffling steps. Clearly, he does look kind of weary, as if his eight hours of sleep wasn't enough.

"Can I ride?" I ask, eagerly following behind.

He halts for a moment. "The last time you rode my bicycle, I could hardly recognize it after you returned it, so no, you're not."

No kidding! That was so forever ago! I guess he hasn't forgiven me, nor has he forgotten about the incident, has he? I was eleven and ashamed just because I didn't know how to ride a bicycle – what child, born and raised in London doesn't know how to ride a bicycle? It's not like my so-called stepfather thought of buying one for me anyway.

Point is, I wanted to learn so badly, and my best friend had one, so I borrowed it, and the rest is ancient history – in the most tragic sense.

I improved eventually, good for me, and thanks to my determination to fit in.

"I get it. You didn't have to remind me though." I cross my arms and look away, wanting to look upset as I make exaggerated pouty faces.

"You're not cute, so stop."

Huh...!

The bicycle leans by the garden wall, appearing all revamped, in contrast to its former state. He takes it by the handles to the pavement in front so he can check the brakes, pump the tires and do other cool bicycle stuff.

Apart from the normal Sunday morning prosaic temperament, which is something I may never get used to, he seems very tired and worried. I don't want to think he was worried about what we discussed last night. Does he really think his father won't be able to convince dad after they talk?

"Come on, Xian, be gentle towards me. The last time was because I rode it a long distance. This time around, I'm only riding past a few blocks," I say, hoping he expresses a tad more than this indifference.

"You're not riding my bicycle. Stop assuming."

"Okay, sir." I put my hands up in surrender.

I don't like how cranky he can be so early in the morning, but this is way past the early morning hours. Why is he still so gloomy? Well, gloomy or not, I'm sure he won't let me ride his bicycle, after the terrible things I did to it years ago.

He hops on and invites me to get behind him. I shake off the silly thought in my head and walk over to the extra space on the saddle.

"You hesitated," he utters out of the blue. "Are you finding it odd that I'm taking the front seat instead?"

"Huh?"

Honestly, I have no clue how I'll have to answer that, but my speechlessness ought to give him the answer I hope it would. Would it make any difference if I said yes?

He exhales heavily. "Alright. Come forward. It'll be bizarre anyway if someone from school sees me in front, taking the famous heartthrob on a bicycle ride."

To my surprise, he lifts himself off the seat and goes behind me. Not sure why, but I can swear that he's working on my self-consciousness. He knows how to effortlessly make me look guilty, so guilty to say 'thank you' or even feel excited is damn hard after swapping with him in front. "You know what, Xian?"

"What?"

"You're the very worst. How are we still friends until now?"

"Hm." He shrugs. "Thank you. I'll take that as a compliment."

"As you should."

"Move already! I don't want to miss the happy reunion at your house."

*

I control the pedals with a bit of struggle. Good thing Xian is here to prevent me from crashing the bicycle. Still, we hardly make it pass a block without me swerving to the middle of the road. Except a few hitches here and there, my biking skills has actually improved.

Finally, we arrive at the driveway to my house. I park the bicycle against the wall and we hurry to the front to eavesdrop on their conversation from the window.

"I'm not going to let that conceited delinquent in my house! He has crossed all the boundaries this time," dad growls.

"You need to calm down, Mr. Carter. Listen, out of everyone involved, you ought to be the most understanding. Felix is still very young and free spirited. At this age, he may see your discipline as some sort of prejudice," Xian's father speaks calmly.

"Prejudice!"

"Okay, perhaps not prejudice... but you get the point. He's becoming a young adult, and he will need your guidance to grow into a better man. You realize it is at this crucial stage the rebel in a child manifests, right? So please, don't be too hard on him."

Dad eases back. "I'm only doing this because of my darling wife. She won't talk to me, let alone sleep with me. I don't want to ruin my marriage because of one kid named Felix."

Xian turns towards me and sees that I'm not in a very good mood, but with a soothing gesture, he solicits that I too should relax. Easily, I obey, and then we continue eavesdropping.

"Felix is her son and so she feels responsible for him. You also feel that too, don't you? Because you're his father, biologically or not."

A brief moment of silence goes by to allow dad more time to cool off.

"I spoke with Felix and he is ready to apologize. He's sorry for what happened and he promised never to do that again," Mr. Owen tells dad.

"Where is he by the way?"

"He should be here any moment now. I wonder what is taking him—"

Xian and I enter the house before he completes his sentence.

"Felix! Xian! You came in just in time."

"I'm sorry, dad. I shouldn't have talked back at you and I should've asked your permission first before leaving your house." I avoid looking into his eyes, because I know what I say and will say are nothing but lies. "I'm very sorry. You're the father I've been with for years, so while I'm still under your control, I'll be your obedient son."

If those words don't stir up something in him, I don't know what will. I already feel unwell lying through my teeth and making promises I won't keep. If I have to swallow my pride and feed his ego for this fiasco to be over, I'm okay with it.

"Come here, son," he smiles at me. "I apologize for being impatient with you."

I step closer and take a seat beside him, but the nauseating feeling becomes much worse as the incident yesterday begins to replay in my head. I have to endure the cruelty of being under him for a little while until I'm finally independent. I only have a few months to clock eighteen.

"I know I put a lot of pressure on you, but I wish you will see that I'm doing all I can to teach you utmost of life's lessons, before you venture out on your own as an adult. You're my son and I'm your father. Even though we're not biologically related, I care about you the same."

"Thanks, dad," I etch a forced smile that is half fake, half dying-to-get-out-of-here.

"Your sister has been waiting all day for you."

"And mom?"

"She'll be back soon. She just went out for her usual medical check-up."

I stand up immediately, seeing there is nothing left to settle to bring Xian with me to my room. Dad will escort Xian's dad out when he decides to leave, but for now, I just want to vent out all my frustrations. I enter my room with Xian and lock the door from inside.

Before I start anything, Xian speaks up, "I know you were only being dishonest a while ago, and that half-arsed apology...?! You, Felix, are justly one heck of a renegade."

Cat caught my tongue? For sure! How does he know me so much?

"I know you. No need wondering how I figured it out."

I chuckle. It feels nice to have a partner in crime sometimes. I can't imagine what this life would be like without my trusted friend by my side. "I got an idea! Let's go to the arcade later."

"Huh! You just reconciled with your father! Do you think that is a wise idea?"

I roll my eyes up to the back of my skull. "When have I ever suggested a wise idea?"

"Hey! I know exactly what we can do." He goes to a corner of my room, fetches a square board hidden inside the drawer and gets out a packet of wooden tiles.

"Scrabble?!"

"Nothing like a classic English game, right?" He smirks.

"Right," I reply in nerd language.

* # * #

Do you think this feud between Phil and Felix is a relatable one?