12. you make me feel
FELIX
I come home from school by public bus to save my time and energy, after dance practice today already took most of it.
Getting home, I find my mom preparing dinner in the kitchen, and Annie probably in her room watching her favourite TV shows.
"Hello, mom!" I greet as I pass the dinner table.
Before I take the stairs up to my room, she calls out, "Felix, hurry up and come down for dinner soon, okay."
"Isn't it too soon?"
"Your dad arrived early from work today."
"Ugh!" I stick out my tongue, casually but really exasperated.
"Felix, please, don't start with your grumpiness this evening. Your dad is not in a good mood."
My face scrunches up with disapproval. "As if I am supposed to care. Why do I get to be oh-so-cautious because he's in a bad mood?"
She cocks her eye. "Felix!"
"Fine, mom! I'll come down in a bit."
Sometimes, I truly want to yell out to the world how mentally maiming it feels to live under the same roof with dad. It's unfortunate she found her happiness with him. But if she is satisfied, I can't be so selfish to take that away from her.
I run up to my room and slam the door behind. Alas, the state of my room at the moment isn't exactly in its state of grace, which is very unlike me. My laundry basket is brim-full, the corners of the room is a filthy mess, and dust is starting to collect everywhere.
Do I have to clean up my room? Yeah. Do I have to cleanup my room now? Definitely not, most especially since I have two extra curricula clubs to keep up with, added to academic work. Plus, I am too exhausted to do anything. It's going to be a busy week, so the chores will have to wait till next weekend – with any luck, if dad doesn't see this mess before then.
I throw my backpack on the four-poster single bed before I pick up my phone from my locker.
After I get so engrossed, surfing the internet to look for new releases on Netflix, the door to my room makes a sound but I fail to notice it. Until a shadow on the ground comes into view, then I raise my head.
"What are you doing?!" An angry voice startles me. "Didn't your mother call you downstairs to join us for dinner?"
Out of impulse and sheer fright, I briskly throw the phone behind my back, only to look up and see that it's dad furiously glaring at me. I mean, who else can be that terrifying?
Members of my family scarcely come up to my room, unless they want something. Even when they do, they would always encounter my door locked against them. That should simplify why his abrupt arrival ultimately scared the shit out of me. Then I remember forgetting to lock the door.
"I was just doing some research online!" I reply as I try to disguise the irritation on my face. His presence in my room and that mood of his only means he is here to annoy me, and I don't have the energy for that.
He takes one itty-bitty moment to peep around my room. Certainly, he's going to scold me silly about how untidy it looks, except that he is not saying anything in that regard. That is scary. He walks closer to me and I start to wonder why.
With an expressionless face, he props towards me and snatches my phone hidden behind me.
"Dad!" I shriek with anger and wonder. I wasn't expecting that, honestly, from myself and from him.
"You were doing your online research with this phone," he rephrases with a snuff of suspicion. He waves the phone in his hand in front of me, making me wish I can grab it and run away from here.
"Yes..." I hold myself back from spitting a swear word.
"I've been standing here and you didn't notice. Look at your room! I won't waste my money to employ a housemaid when there's a grown-ass kid living here. And what exactly are you doing with this phone anyway?"
He opens the screen. I'm sure it displays all the movie downloads I've been making for the past five to ten minutes.
Dang! I'm so done for this time around.
His face grows into a tight grimace. He looks up at me again and gets more furious. "You really have some guts lying to me in my face! Did you think I'm a fool?"
"Lie to you! How did I lie to you? That was only a distraction!"
What's the point anyway? He won't believe me no matter how expert my fib is. Ugh! Why is he always like that? This is one of the many things I hate about him, like the way he just creates a big issue out of every deal!
"A distraction? Felix, could you stop lying to me every damn time?!"
"You won't believe anything I say, will you? So, I don't have any reason to tell you, whether it's the truth or not."
"What! Are you challenging me now?" His eyes glimmer with rage.
I snort. What is the problem with this old man? Why is he looking for ways to annoy me today? I won't engage him though. Better I allow it end here and now, so this house won't come down in flames.
"In fact, you won't be using your phone for the rest of the week," he declares, turning to leave.
"Huh! But dad—"
He spins around and points his finger, "and you are grounded, young man!"
"You're being unfair!" I scream back at him, my gaze straight onto his. Coming up into my room to provoke me is one thing, I may let that slide, but seizing my phone and putting me on house arrest is the very height. I can't fight him, but I can still get him to feel angry, the same way I'm feeling.
"You little rascal..." He raises his hand in the air towards my face. In that moment, I take cover, expecting the worst.
"Phil!!!" A loud voice from the door shakes the entire room, down to my bones.
When nothing happens afterwards, I look up to see dad's palm hanging above my head. By the door, mom glares at dad, fuming mad.
I stumble backwards, perplexed and terrified. I never imagined something like this would ever happen to me. He attempted to hit my face for real! It is only in movies and TV dramas I watch these kinds of scenes. So this is what it's like to be molested by a stepparent.
Also, it is the first time I've seen mom react like this. I usually assumed she was only concerned about her husband and doing what he wants to please him. I don't think I understand why, but I'm glad she's not the wife to swallow anything without complains.
"What are you doing to my son?!"
I straighten up to glare at him in the eye again, even though he's still infuriated. With my mom always being here for me, I shouldn't be afraid of him, but my hands can't stop quivering after that harrowing ordeal.
"Felix, come over here." She gestures with her hand.
Unapologetically, I walk out on him, and out of the room with mom's arm around my neck.
Today, she helped me from getting a black eye. I wonder what would have occurred if she was not here and it's only me and dad.
*
By Friday, the morning goes by quickly, so does every class period I attend. The last bell for the day buzzes off and without wasting time, I pack my things into my backpack, ready to head out to the field.
"Did you sleep early?" Xian beside me asks.
"No... why?" I answer, a bit confused as to why he would ask me that.
"You were not online. Your football guys sent a message and I tried calling you, but your phone was switched off."
"I..." I want to lie but what's the point? "My dad seized my phone."
He recedes. "Why did he do that?"
I frown, "you can obviously see that I don't like to talk about it."
He ticks his teeth. He knows everything related to dad is normally a touchy subject. "Well, your neighbours are planning a football competition against the other street. They messaged me to tell you about it. Are you going?"
"Hell yeah! Of course I'm going! It's tomorrow, right?"
"Yeah..." he pauses. "But are you sure your dad will permit you to leave the house?"
"What silly question is that?"
"Lately, you've been in a lot of fights with him. I was thinking maybe you—"
"I couldn't care less what he thinks," I interrupt him. "If he wants to scold me, I'll simply just let it roll off my back. I'll still do what I want to do."
"This is why you and your dad never see eye to eye. You're too stubborn."
I roll my eyes. "Only because you and your dad share a perfect father-son relationship doesn't change anything. You always do what he wants from you, not what you want."
He sits comfortably and faces me. It means this is absolutely going to be a long therapy session as he'll be all about his vigilante shit. "And how do you know what it is you want?"
"And how do you know what it is you want...?" I mimic with a high-pitched deprecating voice.
"See, Felix, your dad wants what's best for you. Every father wants that for his child. Now if you keep doing what you want, how do you expect your father to help you when you do the wrong thing?"
When Xian is on advisor-mode, he becomes so stern, even my jokes or savage responses don't phase him. I don't understand how he could be so mature at such a young age, advising me like I'm his child. But I appreciate it though. At least I can experience what it's like to have someone who's genuinely concerned and on the lookout for me.
"He has lived his life. He should allow me to live mine," I reply, out of my intention to patronize him. "I'm already old enough to make my own decisions."
"Your dad is trying his best for you, and as long as you're his son, you should do what he wants. On a second thought, you're seventeen. You're not old enough for anything."
"Age is merely a number. Besides, doesn't that sound more like he's trying to control my life?"
Xian arches his eyebrow. "Does it?"
"Well, that is your judgment. I will still do what I want, and that includes playing in that match. You or anyone else can't change my mind."
"Sure, and you'll keep on getting into trouble. I can see you enjoy it."
I smile wryly. "Thank you for the advice, daddy Xian. Tell them that I'm available." With that, I get up from my seat with my backpack to leave.
* # * #
Most of us have that one best friend who gives quality advice at certain points in our lives. You can support them with your votes.
Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: Truyen247.Pro