Katniss's P.O.V.

I've felt a little bit better now that Peeta is back. Not fully, but better. We see each other more. He brings me breakfast with Sae and I bring him game. Even Haymitch comes out of his shell. He started to raise geese. Which is better than drinking, I suppose. Just more annoying. I try to keep myself busy. But hunting gets boring after a while. And with Peeta and I's rocky relationship...I don't know what to do most times. So Buttercup is there when no one else comes. This cat I think will never leave. He's lasted a war, and bombing of his home. Walked a million miles to come back to his home and still is alive. After hating him for so long, I have grown to love him. And I don't know what I'd do when he's gone. He is the only thing left of Prim. Her belongings may be in this home, but as long as she isn't...it'll never be enough. Never the same. I keep her room locked and I don't turn on the light. I feel myself break a little when I pass her door. But not a bad break like it used to be. Before I would shatter into a million pieces. Now I can think of her at least. Before even looking at Buttercup made me go down into a spiral. I have gone a week without hurting myself. And I started to talk to Dr. Aurelius. Which has helped immensely. But I know that even with all the treatment and medication in the world, I won't forget my past. Or my trauma. Never fully be okay. I'll be able to live with it, but I will never be my old self. She is gone.

I hear a knock on the door. Buttercup jumps off my lap and goes to the door. I get up and answer it. To my surprise, it's Haymitch.

"Hey Sweetheart." He says. He's sober.

"Hello." I say.

"Well can I come in or not?" He asks.

I move aside to let him in. "Run out of liquor?" I ask.

"No. I came to see you." He says.

"Why?" I ask.

"Can't I be with one of my most favorite people while the other favorite person is out and about?" He asks and sits down.

"What is Peeta doing?" I ask and sit down.

"Beats me. Stops by on occasion, but mostly he is in town." Haymitch says.

"I beat he's just helping out. Maybe we should too." I say.

He shrugs. "So, what have you been doing?" He asks.

"Not a whole lot. Trying to keep myself going." I say, honestly.

"Well, aren't we all?" Haymitch asks sarcastically.

"Ha Ha." I say and roll my eyes.

He smiles a bit. "But how are you?" He asks, a little more serious.

I know what he means. "I'm okay." I say.

He extends his hand. He gestures for mine. I give it to him. He looks my arms over.

"Not in a week, Haymitch. And not anywhere else either." I say.

"Good. Let's keep it that way." He says.

"I'll try." I say.

"Good. You don't deserve that." He says, with a soft smile.

"I know." I say and sigh.

Haymitch sets his hand on my shoulder. "Things will get better, Sweetheart. I promise." He says.

I nod.

"Why don't we get out, like you said?" He says. "You hardly leave this house."

"I don't know." I say.

"We both need it. Come on." He says.

I get up and so does he. I grab a sweater and put on my boots. Buttercup meows at me.

"I'll be back. Promise." I say and pet behind his ear.

I go with Haymitch into 12. It isn't what I came home to. It was just rubble still. No green or anything. But it's now alive. Buildings are built. They may be small, but at least it is there. There is a store and the train station is being updated. And there is groundbreaking and a sign for a hospital. Some small workshops are here as well. And there is no more brown and black. It's green and new everywhere. Flowers a growing, trees blossoming, birds singing. There are more people back here now. They must've come home from 13. I see a bigger building being worked on. I can't tell what it is.

"Sweetheart, I'm going shopping. Want to come?" Haymitch asks.

"I'll catch up with you." I say.

He goes off.

I continue to look around at my new home. It's becoming more of a home and less of a graveyard. I go and look into the shops and things. Some for clothes and other necessities. Other for food and health. I don't buy anything today. I just want to be out. I come across a building that is done, yet not occupied. There is no sign out front. It is covered in front with a cloth. But the brick is soft orange and red. It looks old, but it's new. I go inside. I find paint on the ground and tarps on the floor.

"Hello?" I call.

I get no answer. I look around. The walls are covered too. But I see a bit of color. I go investigate. I reach to move it away.

"Can I help you?" I hear someone say.

I turn around fast. "I'm sorry, I was just ...Peeta?" I say.

"Oh, Katniss. Hey. Sorry, I didn't know it was you." He says.

"It's fine." I say. "What are you doing here?"

He smiles and then sighs. "Well, this was supposed to be a surprise. But it seems like it won't be now." He says.

"Sorry. I didn't know. I didn't see anything, I swear." I say.

He laughs a little. "I can show you now." he says.

He comes over to me. He gently takes the tarp off of the wall. I gasp.

"Wow." I say. "It's amazing, Peeta." I say.

"Thanks. Took long enough. But I'll be done when I add a coat more." He says.

He's painted the meadow with the sunset. It's very beautiful.

"What is this place going to be?" I ask.

"It's going to be the new Mellark Bakery." He says.

"Really?" I ask.

"Yeah. All the ovens and things arrive this Friday. Then I can open on Saturday." He explains.

"That's wonderful, Peeta." I say.

He smiles at me.

"Well, I'll leave you to it. I have to go find Haymitch. Feel free to stop by later." I say.

"I will. Good luck, he's probably stocked up on liquor again." He says.

I laugh a little. "I'm sure." I say.

"Bye." Peeta says.

"Bye." I say.

I leave. I feel a bit more happy. I hardly see him. And now he'll be so happy. But I may see him less now. I wander back to the center of 12. I see Haymitch coming out of a store. I went to meet him.

"You didn't get anything." He says.

"I know. I'll come back. Besides, I was busy." I say.

"Well don't come and steal my food. Or my liquor." He says.

"Please, I wouldn't want to be on your bad side." I say.

Haymitch rolls his eyes. "Come on, Sweetheart." He says.

We walk back to the Victors Village.

"I'll see you later, Sweetheart." He says.

"Bye, Haymitch." I say.

I go back into my house. Buttercup meets me at the door and meows.

"Yes. I'm back boy." I say and pick him up.

I pet him and he purrs into me. It is getting close to sundown. I see what food I have. I have enough for me, but maybe not Buttercup. I make dinner.

"You can get your own food you know, and not rely on me." I say.

He meows. I roll my eyes. I serve myself and get a small bit for him.

"You're spoiled, cat." I say. He responds with a loud meow. I shake my head.

The night falls, and I grow tired. Buttercup notices. He nudges at my legs as I sit on the couch.

"I know, I know. I'll go. But you come with me." I say.

With that I go to my room. And he is quick to follow. I get comfy in my bed. He lays where there is a space between my legs. I dread to fall asleep, because I know what it will bring. But my body tells me otherwise. And I fall asleep.

Peeta's P.O.V.

I spend the rest of the day painting and prepping the new bakery. I let the paint dry overnight. I stop by Haymitch's house before I go home. And surprisingly, he isn't drunk. He's doing things. Making food to be exact.

"Hey Haymitch." I say and knock on the wall.

"So, came to stop by?" He asks.

"Just for a bit. You eat late." I say.

"Most the time I wake up at this time after a hangover. So yes, it is too late to eat." He says.

"Ah. I see." I say.

"Want to stay?" He asks.

"No I'm alright. I've been working, and I just wanted to go home." I say.

"What have you been doing?" He asks.

"Well, I have all but rebuilt the bakery. Just have to wait to open it." I say.

"Good for you, Boy." He says.

"Thanks." I say.

"Well, you better be going. You gotta work tomorrow." He says.

"Yeah. I'll stop by tomorrow." I say.

I leave his house. I walk down the street to mine. I start to unlock my house when I hear screams. And I'm too familiar with who they are. I race to Katniss's house. Her house is unlocked.

"Katniss?" I call.

I go up to her room. I find her covering her eyes and crying. I go to her side.

"Hey, Katniss." I say. I gently set my hand on her.

She flinches, but then realizes it's me.

"I'm sorry...it was just a nightmare." she says quietly.

"I get them too. I know." I say and smile a sad smile.

I gently rub her shoulder. "Are you okay?" I ask.

"Yes..I'm fine." She says.

"Alright. I'll be up for a few more hours. If you need anything, don't hesitate to come over, Katniss. I know this is hard." I say.

"Thank you. I..I'll think about it." She says.

I nod. I stand and head to her door.

"Peeta?" She asks.

"Yeah?" I say and turn back.

"Will you...will you stay with me?" She asks.

"Yeah. Of course." I say.

She moves over so I can be there. She tightly holds me.

"Always." I say.

Katniss's P.O.V.

I hear what I've needed to hear most from the one I care for. I don't want to fall asleep. Even though I am in safe arms. Safe, strong, arms. So I don't. I stay up trying to keep away my horrors. This was a bad nightmare. One that will set me back a bit. I was hunting. Which I dream of a lot. But I could feel someone following me. The forest was dead quiet. I saw a girl run by me. She was in blue. She had long blonde hair. She looked back at me. It was Prim. I followed her. She ran faster and would disappear and reappear. She would call my name. Tell me to catch her. When I thought I did, I went to her. But when I touched her...she was gone. Then the world blew up. Me with it. I could hear the laughs of Snow as I slowly burned and died. Then pain is back from missing her. I knew it would return eventually, but not so soon after I was doing good. I try to block away the pain and the thoughts. I listen to the strong beating of Peeta's heart. It calms me more, but not enough. It may never be enough. Which pains me. I don't know what I feel for him. I don't know how he feels for me. But he is the only person to make me feel better. And he deserves someone who will care for him. And that may not be me.

I look at the clock. It's three in the morning now. Peeta came around eleven. I can hear his heartbeat a little slower and his breathing became heavy. His arms are still around me. I carefully escape. I start towards the bathroom. Buttercup follows me. He meows at me.

"Shh!" I hiss.

I close the door. I see him stick is paws under the door.

"Go away, boy." I say.

I open the sink drawers. I find my new found pain reliever. I sit down with my back at the wall. I move my sleeves down and roll up my pants. I take a deep breath and close my eyes. I can never look until I am done. I feel the cold blade touch my skin. Then drag across. It sends a sting, then goes away. I feel myself come out. I feel a little bit better. I go and go until I feel numb. I feel my body shaking. I see what I've done. Suddenly the door gets knocked on. I move myself to have my back to the door.

"Katniss? Are you okay? Buttercup is freaking out." I hear Peeta say.

'Ratted me out. What do I do?' I think.

"I'm fine. I'll be out in a minute." I say.

Buttercup starts scathing at the door. I feel the door start to open. I push my body against it to stop it.

"Don't come in. He's fine." I say trying to keep calm.

"You don't sound alright, Katniss." He says.

"I am." I lie.

He keeps pushing. He always was stronger than me. He gets the door open. I move to not be squished.

"Katniss, what- Oh My God." he says.

The shame and embarrassment hits me. I never wanted him to see this part of me. I don't look in his eyes. I can't.

"I'm sorry." I say barely above a whisper. The tears fall down. They hit the floor and make the blood more red.

Peeta hugs me. He holds me tight. "I never knew." he says.

I cry on him. "I hate myself!" I cry. "And the things I do!"

He lets me go. "Look at me, Katniss." he says.

I don't. He moves my head to anyways.

"I never will. We've both done things. You shouldn't. You're too young to be this empty. And too young to leave. I'd be alone. And I don't want to live without you. I care a lot about you, Katniss." He says.

'You shouldn't' I think.

I just nod. He holds me close again.

'I really don't deserve him.' I think.

"Everything will be okay, Real or not real?" I ask.

He says. "Real."