Okay okay I know I haven't uploaded in a while and I feel crappy about it but I can't help it. Everytime I start on a chap I'd get stuck and I really don't want to post a bad chap

Anw the song for this chap is 'Welcome to My Life' for Simple plan.

Pic on the side is of Cole who is going to be played by Steven R. McQueen right over there ------>

Vote, Comm, Enjoy :D

P.S: Chapter isn't edited due to laziness :P

Alex's P.O.V.

Dear Diary

I really don't know what made me write in you again, I never knew what to write but now...I don't know.

Things are weird, I don't know how to describe it. I mean...I have all these people around me and they're all supportive and they want what's best of me but...I just don't know. I have this empty feeling inside me that is hard to fill, I'm scared of the slightest things and sometimes I find myself staring off into space with my hand on my stomach as if it would bring back what I lost; my baby.

I act fine most of the time, I don't want to be a burden more than I already am, the pathetic girl who was raped. I'm already like that in school, everyone looks at me weirdly now. Even Tyler has this look of sympathy and guilt whenever he sees me, and I hate it. I don't want their sympathy, I don't want to be known as the girl who was raped.

And then there's Kyle, it's so different with him. He makes me laugh, really laugh and for a moment I feel normal again, like nothing bad happened to me and that scares me. It scares me because I don't know what it means, why is it so different with him? Why does my heart speed up when I see him? I can't feel things like that towards him. It's too risky and it's not fair especially for him because I'm never going to be normal. I'm never going to be able to be like a normal girlfriend. And besides, he doesn't feel that way about me, I'm sure of it.

I sighed as I closed the diary Susan had brought me, I only wrote in it like two or three times but when I saw it on the floor I decided to try again. It was actually a relief to get all that stuff out.

My phone started to ring and I saw it was a strange number. I frowned and answered

"Alex?" A familiar voice immediately sounded on the other line "Is that you?"

"You called me you should know" 

"Oh good then" the guy said "I thought I had the wrong number, It's me. Cole" I was shocked to say the least. I expected Kyle to jump out of nowhere and take the phone from me. He had ended every conversation I tried to start involving Cole.

"How did you get my number?" I asked sitting up "I didn't give it to you"

"I have my ways" he said "I just wanted to talk to you Al, and I knew Kyle wouldn't let me near you."

"Well you're right about that" I said relaxing in my bed "What happened between you guys? We were friends before you moved and you guys were close"

"A lot of misunderstandings" Cole answered "But it shouldn't come between us" his soft voice reminded me of when we were kids, Cole was always like a big brother to me.

"He said..." I trailed on "Kyle said you're dangerous Cole. And not one of you is telling me what happened"

"It's nothing important Alex" Cole answered "And you know I'd never hurt you. I care about you too much to do that" he went silent for a while before adding "I missed you a lot"

"I missed you too" I smiled softly "I cried for days because I didn't get to say goodbye"

"Yeah I didn't like it either. Got pissed as hell" he chuckled "we should meet up sometime"

"I don't know Cole" I said "Kyle wouldn't like it and...."

"You're scared that what he said is true" Cole stated and then sighed "Alex...please...one time and you can bring any one you want I promise you I'm not what Kyle says I am." I stayed silent for a while "Al? Come one....please"

"Okay" I said "One time and I'm gonna bring a friend"

"Okay" he said "I'll meet you at the park okay? Tomorrow after school" the excitement in his voice made me smile

"Okay" I said "I'll talk to you later I'm gonna go to bed"

"Goodnight Al, thanks for giving me a chance"

"Don't prove wrong Cole. Goodnight" I hung up and lay in my bed, I was going to ask El to go with me. Kyle would freak but I had a feeling Cole would never hurt me.

I smiled and let myself fall asleep.

Kyle's P.O.V.

"I can't believe we ran into him. out of all the places in the world he had to be at that park" I said angrily as I paced my room with Logan sitting on my bed it was about two in the morning and we had just come back from patrol, all the while I spent it running to vent but it didn't help.

"Calm down nothing happened it there's no reason to freak out."

"the hell there is" I said "He found out Alex is back, do you know how much he loved her? He's gonna want to see her." My eyes darkened "I won't let him near her"

"you can't do anything till he does" Logan said "The park is on neutral territory he didn't do anything wrong."

"So I'm supposed to wait until he does? Until he hurts her and then I kill him?" I snarled "Until it's too late?"

"So what would you do? Start a war now? You know the Mist pack has a lot of allies"

"So what? We do too, we have the fire moon pack on our side. The strongest pack ever." I said angrily. I knew I wasn't thinking straight, the thought of Cole trying to get near Alex drove me crazy

"but do you really think Alpha Damon will enter a war with us for no reason at all?"

"No. No he won't" I said taking a deep breath trying to calm down "I just don't want what happened to mom happen to her" I shivered as I imagined. Mom was kidnapped by the alpha of the mist pack, Cole's dad because of a misunderstanding between the two packs. Our pack attacked them immediately and brought her back but she was hurt beyond measure. We caused a few deaths in their pack and they were immediately banished from walking into our territory.

"it won't" Logan said with determination "We won't let it"

"We sure as hell wo-" i was interrupted by a scream I knew would be Alex's. I rushed to her moon and opened the door to find her struggling with an invisible attacker with her eyes closed; she was having a nightmare.

"Alex" I said walking hesitantly towards her, I felt Logan's presence behind me "Alex? wake up"

She kept struggling so I gently shook her "Alex wake up"

Her eyes shot open and she screamed, scrambling to the edge of the bed with tears rushing down her face.

"Alex It-"

"Don't touch me" she snapped at me, her eyes were blazed distant and I knew she wasn't aware of who was talking to her 

"Alex it's me Kyle"

"DON"T TOUCH ME" She screamed and fell off the bed and crawled to the corner of the room "please" she sobbed "Stay away from me and my baby"

It broke my heart to see her that way. I thought she was making progress, she didn't show any signs except for when guys tried to touch her, I guess she was hiding it.

"She's hallucinating" My mom said from the door but I didn't turn and kept my eyes on Alex

"What should I do?"

"Hold her. You're touch will comfort her" I immediately went to her and though she backed away I knelt to the ground and reached out my hand to hold her, she continued to cry with her head in her hands. I pulled her to me and hugged her, my heart breaking with each tear she cried. But after a while she stopped struggling and slumped against me.

When I was sure she was asleep I stood up and put her on her bed, mom motioned for me to follow her and I did.

"Kyle we need to do something we can't leave her like this. She needs a psychiatrist"

"She won't go, she told me her parents sent her but she never said a word." I said running a hand through my hair 

"Then you have to talk her into it. A trauma like the one she's been through can't go without treatment she needs a psychiatrist to help her move on"

"I don't know" I said eaning against the wall "Can't I just help her, if I get her to talk she's comfortable around me"

"A doctor's point of view is important Kyle" My mom said sympathetically "She won't get better like this"

"I know" I said heading back to Alex's room I wasn't gonna sleep next to her, but I was gonna sleep on a chair beside her so she wouldn't freak out in the morning. I wanted to be there if she had another nightmare "I'll talk to her in the morning before school"