momma stop crying

i am ready to protect

fight, destroy

although grandmother

seems busy smashing

things in the other room

i sit with my hands folded

lava burning beneath my skin

and everything converges

on this one point

i decide it's okay i just

won't count these people

as my family anyway

suddenly i am inundated

with this inexplicable red

before my eyes

it splashes

and washes over

everything i see is red

there is apathy on my pre-teen

tongue and i crave more.

momma there is numbness in my bones

i embrace it.